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Mambo #5

    Comment
    byu/DangerNoodle1993 from discussion
    intodayilearned
    I have a buddy who's a big N4Y fan and an avid record collector. He posts all his finds on instagram. I thought it'd be funny to anonymously mail him a copy of Mambo #5. Tracked down a radio promo copy with a bunch of different versions of the song. Sent it out and never heard anything. About a year later I asked him about it. He got super upset and yelled "That was you? What the fuck is wrong with you?" Its a bad song but that seemed like an extreme response. Turned out someone took a diarrhea shit into the postal box I dropped the package in. USPS just bagged it up in a plastic bag and still delivered it.

    Tenna meeting Spamton

      Teena see’s Spamton for the first time and had a freakout in Deltarune Chapter 3.

      WHAT THE...!? HOW THE WHAT THE MAMA WHAT THE HECK THE WOH MAMA WOAH MAMMA MA WHAT'S WOAH MAMA MIA WHAT'S WHAT'S WHAT THE MAMA MIA WHAT'S WOH MAMA MIA MAMA MIA WHOA HECK WHAT THE MAMA HEY HECK HECK WOAH WOH WOAH MAMA MIA MAMA MIA HECK HECK MAMA MIA MAMMA WHAT'S MAMMA MAMMA HEY MAMMA MAMMA MAMA MIA MAMA MIA HECK MA MA WOH MAMA MIA WHAT'S WHAT THE ... MAMMA MIA MAMMA HECK MAMMA MAMMA MA WOH WHAT'S MAMMA WHAT'S MAMMA MA HEY WHOA MA HECK MA HEY WHAT THE WHAT THE WHOA HEY WHOA MAMMA... HOW THE WHAT THE MAMA WHAT THE HECK THE WOAH WHAT THE MA WOAH WHAT'S WOAH WOH HEY WOH MAMA MIA WOAH MA HECK WHAT'S HEY MAMMA WHAT'S HEY WOAH WOH WHAT'S MAMMA MAMA MIA MAMMA MAMMA WOAH MA MAMMA MA HEY WOAH WHAT THE WOH HEY MAMMA What the HECK is THAT THING!?
      HOW THE WHAT THE MAMA WHAT THE HECK THE WOH MAMMA WOAH MAMMA MA WHAT'S WOAH MAMA MIA WHAT'S WHAT'S WHAT THE MAMA MIA WHAT'S WOH MAMA MIA MAMA MIA WOH HECK WHAT THE MAMMA HEY HECK HECK WOAH WOH WOAH MAMA MIA MAMA MIA HECK HECK MAMA MIA MAMMA WHAT'S MAMMA HEY MAMMA MAMMA MAMA MIA MAMA MIA HECK MA MA WOH MAMA MIA WHAT'S WHAT THE MAMMA HECK MAMMA MAMMA MA WOH WHAT'S MAMMA WHAT'S MAMMA MA HEY WOAH MA HECK WA HEY WHAT THE WHAT THE WOAH HEY WOAH MAMMA HOW THE WHAT THE MAMA WHAT THE HECK THE WOAH WHAT THE MA WOAH WHAT'S WOAH WOH HEY WOH MAMMA MIA WOH MA HECK WHAT'S HEY MAMMA WHAT'S HEY WOAH WOH WHAT'S MAMMA MAMA MIA MAMMA WOAH MA MAMMA MA HEY WOAH WHAT THE WOH HEY MAMMA! What the HECK is THAT THING!?
      HOW THE WHAT THE MAMA WHAT THE HECK THE WOH MAMMA WOAH MAMMA MA WHAT'S WOAH MAMA MIA WHAT'S WHAT'S THE MAMA MIA WHAT'S WOH MAMA MIA MAMA MIA WOAH HECK WHAT THE MAMMA HEY HECK HECK WOAH WOH WOAH MAMA MIA MAMA MIA HECK HECK MAMA MIA MAMMA WHAT'S MAMMA MAMMA HEY MAMMA MAMMA MAMA MIA MAMA MIA HECK MA MA WOH MAMA MIA WHAT'S WHA THE MAMMA HECK MAMMA MAMMA MA WOH WHAT'S MAMMA WHAT'S MAMMA MA HEY WOAH MA HECK MA HEY WHAT THE WHAT THE WOAH HEY WOAH MAMMA
      
      :>
      
      HOW THE WHAT THE MAMA WHAT THE HECK THE WOAH WHAT THE MA WOAH WHAT'S WOAH WOH HEY WOH MAMA MIA WOAH MA HECK WHAT'S HEY MAMMA WHAT'S HEY WOAH WOH WHAT'S MAMMA MAMA MIA MAMMA MAMMA WOAH MA MAMMA MA HEY WOAH WHAT THE WOH HEY MAMMA
      What the HECK is THAT THING!?
      "HOW THE WHAT THE MAMA WHAT THE HECK THE WOH MAMMA WOAH MAMMA MA WHAT'S WOAH MAMA MIA WHAT'S WHAT'S WHAT THE MAMA MIA WHAT'S WOH MAMA MIA MAMA MIA WOH HECK WHAT THE MAMMA HEY HECK HECK WOAH WOH WOAH MAMA MIA MAMA MIA HECK HECK MAMA MIA MAMMA WHAT'S MAMMA HEY MAMMA MAMMA MAMA MIA MAMA MIA HECK MA MA WOH MAMA MIA WHAT'S WHAT THE MAMMA HECK MAMMA MAMMA MA WOH WHAT'S MAMMA WHAT'S MAMMA MA HEY WOAH MA HECK WA HEY WHAT THE WHAT THE WOAH HEY WOAH MAMMA" and then (pause) "HOW THE WHAT THE MAMA WHAT THE HECK THE WOAH WHAT THE MA WOAH WHAT'S WOAH WOH HEY WOH MAMMA MIA WOH MA HECK WHAT'S HEY MAMMA WHAT'S HEY WOAH WOH WHAT'S MAMMA MAMA MIA MAMMA WOAH MA MAMMA MA HEY WOAH WHAT THE WOH HEY MAMMA" and then "What the HECK is THAT THING!?" (Spamton)

      It should be noted that I’ve upvoted every single person who’s disagreed with me

        Comment
        byu/DarqWolff from discussion
        ingaming

        Written by u/DarqWolff circa 2012 in a thread about Gabe Newell, he’s an infamous Redditor with delusions of grandeur often proclaiming how smart he is and that he invented stuff before it happen. People back then used to circlejerk his comments and follow any drama about him before his account was eventually suspended.

        It should be noted that I've upvoted every single person who's disagreed with me here, as far as I know. That said.
        
        In 7th grade, I took an SAT test without preparing for it at all, it was spur-of-the-moment, I knew about it about an hour ahead of time and didn't do any research or anything. I scored higher on it than the average person using it to apply for college in my area. An IQ test has shown me to be in the 99.9th percentile for IQ. This is the highest result the test I was given reaches; anything further and they'd consider it to be within the margin of error for that test.
        
        My mother's boyfriend of 8 years is an aerospace engineer who graduated Virginia Tech. At the age of 15, I understand physics better than him, and I owe very little of it to him, as he would rarely give me a decent explanation of anything, just tell me that my ideas were wrong and become aggravated with me for not quite understanding thermodynamics. He's not particularly successful as an engineer, but I've met lots of other engineers who aren't as good as me at physics, so I'm guessing that's not just a result of him being bad at it. I'm also pretty good at engineering. I don't have a degree, and other than physics I don't have a better understanding of any aspect of engineering than any actual engineer, but I have lots of ingenuity for inventing new things. For example, I independently invented regenerative brakes before finding out what they were, and I was only seven or eight years old when I started inventing wireless electricity solutions (my first idea being to use a powerful infrared laser to transmit energy; admittedly not the best plan).
        
        I have independently thought of basically every branch of philosophy I've come across. Every question of existentialism which I've seen discussed in SMBC or xkcd or Reddit or anywhere else, the thoughts haven't been new to me. Philosophy has pretty much gotten trivial for me; I've considered taking a philosophy course just to see how easy it is. Psychology, I actually understand better than people with degrees. Unlike engineering, there's no aspect of psychology which I don't have a very good understanding of. I can debunk many of even Sigmund Freud's theories.
        
        I'm a good enough writer that I'm writing a book and so far everybody who's read any of it has said it was really good and plausible to expect to have published. And that's not just, like, me and family members, that counts strangers on the Internet. I've heard zero negative appraisal of it so far; people have critiqued it, but not insulted it.
        
        I don't know if that will suffice as evidence that I'm intelligent. I'm done with it, though, because I'd rather defend my maturity, since it's what you've spent the most time attacking. The following are some examples of my morals and ethical code.
        
        I believe firmly that everybody deserves a future. If we were to capture Hitler at the end of WWII, I would be against executing him. In fact, if we had any way of rehabilitating him and knowing that he wasn't just faking it, I'd even support the concept of letting him go free. This is essentially because I think that whoever you are in the present is a separate entity from who you were in the past and who you are in the future, and while your present self should take responsibility for your past self's actions, it shouldn't be punished for them simply for the sake of punishment, especially if the present self regrets the actions of the past self and feels genuine guilt about them.
        
        I don't believe in judgement of people based on their personal choices as long as those personal choices aren't harming others. I don't have any issue with any type of sexuality whatsoever (short of physically acting out necrophilia, pedophilia, or other acts which have a harmful affect on others - but I don't care what a person's fantasies consist of, as long as they recognize the difference between reality and fiction and can separate them). I don't have any issue with anybody over what type of music they listen to, or clothes they wear, etc. I know that's not really an impressive moral, but it's unfortunately rare; a great many people, especially those my age, are judgmental about these things. I love everyone, even people I hate. I wish my worst enemies good fortune and happiness. Rick Perry is a vile, piece of shit human being, deserving of zero respect, but I wish for him to change for the better and live the best life possible. I wish this for everyone.
        
        I'm pretty much a pacifist. I've taken a broken nose without fighting back or seeking retribution, because the guy stopped punching after that. The only time I'll fight back is if 1) the person attacking me shows no signs of stopping and 2) if I don't attack, I'll come out worse than the other person will if I do. In other words, if fighting someone is going to end up being more harmful to them than just letting them go will be to me, I don't fight back. I've therefore never had a reason to fight back against anyone in anything serious, because my ability to take pain has so far made it so that I'm never in a situation where I'll be worse off after a fight. If I'm not going to get any hospitalizing injuries, I really don't care.
        
        The only exception is if someone is going after my life. Even then, I'll do the minimum amount of harm to them that I possibly can in protecting myself. If someone points a gun at me and I can get out of it without harming them, I'd prefer to do that over killing them. I consider myself a feminist. I don't believe in enforced or uniform gender roles; they may happen naturally, but they should never be coerced into happening unnaturally. As in, the societal pressure for gender roles should really go, even if it'll turn out that the majority of relationships continue operating the same way of their own accord. I treat women with the same outlook I treat men, and never participate in the old Reddit "women are crazy" circlejerk, because there are multiple women out there and each have different personalities just like there are multiple men out there and each with different personalities. I don't think you do much of anything except scare off the awesome women out there by going on and on about the ones who aren't awesome.
        
        That doesn't mean I look for places to victimize women, I just don't believe it's fair to make generalizations such as the one about women acting like everything's OK when it's really not (and that's a particularly harsh example, because all humans do that). I'm kind of tired of citing these examples and I'm guessing you're getting tired of reading them, if you've even made it this far. In closing, the people who know me in real life all respect me, as do a great many people in the Reddit brony community, where I spend most of my time and where I'm pretty known for being helpful around the community. A lot of people in my segment of the community are depressed or going through hard times, and I spend a lot of time giving advice and support to people there. Yesterday someone quoted a case of me doing this in a post asking everyone what their favorite motivational/inspirational quote was, and that comment was second to the top, so I guess other people agreed (though, granted, it was a pretty low-traffic post, only about a dozen competing comments). And, uh, I'm a pretty good moderator.
        
        All that, and I think your behavior in this thread was totally assholish. So what do you think, now that you at least slightly know me? 

        The Fog is coming

          The Fog is coming
          Nothing can save humanity. Open your doors and windows, let it in. Accept your fate. The fog is coming. The fog is coming. The fog is coming.
          The fog is coming. The fog is coming. The fog is coming. Open your windows.
          The fog is coming. 4:23 PM, June 26, 2022. Origin point: 26.395348193316° N, -144.778567450876°W. Expansion rate: 5·3x10^8 meter (5c) The fog is coming the fog is coming seek shelter while you still can invest in food invest in water as once the fog is here there will be no more the fog is coming the fog is coming no use for your worthless lives anymore as the fog will consume us all come 2025 the fog is coming and will burn your skin right from your bones no use in shelter no use in water no use in life the fog is coming the fog is coming. The fog is coming, an estimated 4.7 billion people will die, leaving behind 3.2 billion people, the continents of Asia, Africa, and Europe will be eradicated or have little to no survivors. It will continue to the Americas eradicating North America and then continuing to South America. Do anything for survival. 
          The fog is coming on June 25th 2026 8:52:24 PM(UTC-6) stay indoors for as long as possible if you hear knocking, screaming, cries for help or children crying, DO NOT ANSWER. prepare, this is your only warning. 
          The fog is coming The fog is coming The fog is coming The fog is coming The fog is coming The fog is coming The fog is coming The fog is coming The fog is coming The fog is coming The fog is coming The fog is coming The fog is coming
          The fog is coming. 4:23 PM, June 26, 2026. Origin point: 26.395348193316° N, -144.778567450876°W. Expansion rate: 5·3x10^8 meter (5c)
          The fog is coming the fog is coming seek shelter while you still can invest in food invest in water as once the fog is here there will be no more the fog is coming the fog is coming no use for your worthless lives anymore as the fog will consume us all come 2025 the fog is coming and will burn your skin right from your bones no use in shelter no use in water no use in life the fog is coming the fog is coming.
          The fog is coming, an estimated 4.7 billion people will die, leaving behind 3.2 billion people, the continents of Asia, Africa, and Europe will be eradicated or have little to no survivors. It will continue to the Americas eradicating North America and then continuing to South America. Do anything for survival.
          THE FOG IS COMING
          I see the children with no eyes in the fog, they are screaming in agony. all i can do it slowly peel back my skin to release the ants. the fog is here. They’re back, the faces in the air. THE VOICE UNDER MY SCALP THE VOICE UNDER MY SCALP THE VOICE UNDER MY SCALP THE VOICE UNDER MY SCALP THE VOICE UNDER MY SCALP THE VOICE UNDER MY SCALP. Do not run from the fog. Do not ever run from the fog. Stay in the fog. the fog is near, i need to go now. I feel the sin evaporating off of my skin. Oh lord have mercy on me for my sins have been extinguished. Take kindness on my dammed soul. LEAVE GET OUT OF MY HEAD MY SKIN THE VOICES WON'T LEAVE GET OUT OF MY HEAD MY SKIN THE VOICES WON'T LEAVE GET OUT OF MY HEAD. The fog, stay in the fog. It’s so warm and loving. Don’t ever leave the fog, come join us in the fog. MY SKIN IS MELTING MY SKIN IS MELTING MY SKIN IS MELTING MY SKIN IS MELTING MY SKIN IS MELTING MY SKIN IS MELTING they're behind your eyes they're behind your eyes they're behind your eyes they're behind your eyes they're behind your eyes they're behind your eyes the ants have arrived, crawling in my fingernails. DO YOU RECOGNIZE THE BODIES IN THE WATER? They’re overwhelming me. The fog follows, soon to consume me. The voices told me so. The fog is here. It always has been and it always will be. Do not let the fog in. WHAT IS THAT HEARTBEAT IN THE FLOOR WHAT IS THAT HEARTBEAT IN THE FLOOR WHAT IS THAT HEARTBEAT IN THE FLOOR WHAT IS THAT HEARTBEAT IN THE FLOOR WHAT IS THAT HEARTBEAT IN THE FLOOR WHAT IS THAT HEARTBEAT IN THE FLOOR the corner of my ceiling begins to laugh in the middle of the night for a split second, each night it get louder. Help me please. no, I need more sugar to feed the ants. can't see can't see can't see can't see....gouged out my eyes gouged out my eyes gouged out my eyes gouged out my eyes... no more ants no more ants. the demon is behind me he is behind me i can feel his breath the demon is behind me. The ants are gone, the fog is clearing. No more fog. No more fog.
          The fog is coming, t-the fog! no..~ i-it’s- mh..it’s coming! n-not inside! ou-out! p-please…A-Ah~! it-..s co-oominggg~! mmmh!- yes! yes! ahhh~!

          Catboy Baseball

            Catboys copypasta

            Its from curatedtumblr comments but the source has never been found.

            "Yo, are these catboys straight?" I mutter to my buddy while uncomfortably adjusting my position on the bench.
            
            "No, of course not." my buddy, Josh, responds with out looking at me, a confused sneer frozen on his face as he watches the baseball team full of catboys roll around on the grass and pounce on each other before bumbling the ball back to the skinny, scared pitcher. He hisses as he picks up the ball as if it's the first time he's had to throw one even though this game has been going on for 3 hours already.
            
            "I don't know." I squirm, "I mean, I... well. I mean I think they could... they could be straight, ya know?"
            
            "Definitely not, man. They're pouncing on each other and hugging each other and licking each other. These dudes are super gay." Josh throws his head back and looks up to the darkening sky. "I was supposed to leave 20 minutes ago."
            
            He has some obligation with his girlfriend no doubt. "Well, ya know. Cats are gay. So maybe you're confusing these catboys with real cats when in fact they're only catboys."
            
            "Nope."
            
            Our batter who's up at the plate backs off and sighs heavily. He slings his bat over his shoulder and calls over to us. "Guys. We just gotta call it. We gotta forfeit."
            
            The pitcher's mound turns into a catboy pile as all the catboys do that thing where cats arch their backs and rub against each other. Some how from this writhing purr pile, the ball launches towards our unprepared batter for another strike, his third. In resigned disbelief, he trudges back to the dugout and sits down on the bench.
            
            "I can't believe it." the out-batter says.
            
            Josh on the bench throws his hat to the ground. "We can't quit, dammit! We can't lose to these fucking catboys!" There's a quaver in his frustrated voice. I think he doesn't understand why exactly he's so upset to be losing to the catboys. Neither do I. I can't understand my feelings towards the catboys either.
            
            Head in his hands, shaking his head, he continues, "These fucking catboys..."
            
            I clear my throat to get his attention and then grab his shoulder. "Yeah, these fucking catboys. Look. The catboys are fucking."
            
            At the pitcher's mound, the purr pile has turned into a fuck pile. The catboys have stripped themselves of their little baseball uniforms and all their lithe, pallid bodies are writhing and grinding together. The meows and hisses and screeches are almost unbearable. Almost...
            
            One of our teammates stands up and walks right on past, present, and future by us, unbuttoning his shirt.
            
            "Jesse? No, man. Don't do it. If they fuck long enough, that's gotta be a forfeit. We can still win this thing."
            
            "S-sorry..." Jesse says. He makes a sound like he was going to say something else, like he was about to justify what he's about to do, but no. He simply strips naked and hops in the cat pile to a chorus of cheerful meows. They welcome him greedily.
            
            I'm drenched in sweat, heart pounding. I feel like I have a fluffy tail curled up in my getting-tighter-by-the-moment pants.
            
            "Josh, I uhh..." I don't want to let him down. I don't want to let the team down, but... It's a fur fuck pile.
            
            Josh sighs, "Just fucking go fuck with the catboys... I'll be there in a minute... I just gotta call my girlfriend and tell her I'll be late..." he says while untying his cleats.
            
            I'm relieved and ashamed, but excited as I hurriedly wrench loose my sweaty uniform. As I stumble in a lustful stupor, practicing my own meow, I hear Josh muttering to himself.
            
            "These fucking catboys got us again."

            Its a post on Tumblr by @henstomper in 2022 which became meme. The pasta is usually used alongside the first one.

            the catboys i signed for my all-catboy baseball team dont know what baseball is and theyre actively loudly sobbing whenever they miss a swing and whenever they dive to catch a ball it bonks them on the head and they go "uweh" and our pitcher closes his eyes whenever he throws because hes scared and we're beating every other team in the league

            I can’t take it anymore. I’m sick of Galio.

              Galio copypasta

              By u/Professional-Ear-717, its the Xiangling copypasta but changed to Glalio from Wild Rift.

              I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Galio. 
              
              I want to play Jayce - Galio pokes better. I wanna pick Zed - Galio oneshots faster. My team needs someone to tank? Galio can tank like fucking Orn. We lack AP damage? Galio deals shit ton of damage. We need more CC? Galio IS CC. Opponent wants to roam? Galio is already there. We need anti-heal or anti-shield? Galio can build everything! Need second sup? Galio can be played as second sup. Need someone to carry? Galio WILL carry. Oh, they enemy team is AP heavy... GALIO CANNOT DIE HE IS FUCKING THANOS!
              
              Whole enemy team dives my sololaner. He is dead right? Wrong! I press my Ult. I DO NOT CARE! I AM ULTING THIS SHIT!
              
              I just wanna play Yasuo, I wanna play Zed and Jayce. I want to play the characters I like and care about, but I cannot lock them in. Galio is already picked before I realize. This gargoyle stares deep into my eyes. This barby pink mecha doesnt care. There is no choise. I. EAT. MAGIC!