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Riyadh Masters used to mean something

    Riyadh Masters used to mean something
    byu/Morgn_Ladimore inDotA2

    Its a Dota2 shitpost of a previous post where OP was complaining about the lack of hype and prestige for T1.

    Some of you might not agree with me but man, Riyadh Masters used to really mean something.
    
    Year after year, we see the prizepool drop. I remember when it used to be a staggering 15 million. 15 million! It was almost enough to make me forget about the fact that the tournament is run by a brutally oppressive regime that imprisons and executes dissenting individuals. While watching those epic games, I barely thought about that journalist they killed on embassy ground and chopped up into little pieces with bone saws.
    
    From 15 million at its peak, to a measly 3 million this year. 3 million. What a joke. That's not nearly enough money for me to ignore the fact that the Saudi government very recently executed a journalist for criticizing the regime. Or that they sentenced a female fitness instructor to 11 years in prison for advocating for women's rights. Or that they imprisoned a teacher for years for writing a blog critical of the royal family. Or that much of their wealth is built on a foundation of brutal slave labour.
    
    You can also tell it has lost that old-school human rights violating charm because teams aren't even bothering to put out vapid statements anymore about how they really care about progressive ideals, but will still attend because money. Where is the hypocrisy? The virtue signalling? This is not the Riyadh Masters I fell in love with. It feels like they don't even care about sportswashing anymore.
    
    I don't know, I guess I'm just...disappointed? We're not even important enough to pander to anymore. Maybe the pro scene really is dying, like all those innocent people locked up in Saudi prisons on trumped up charges.
    
    Not sure I'll even watch this year.
    

    TI used to mean something

    TI used to mean something
    byu/NoSwimming6937 inDotA2
    Some of you might not agree with me but man, TI used to really mean something.
    
    I remember when I started playing Dota it was the absolute best time of the year (not to discredit all the in game events we used to get). But u mean seriously I used to log on after school and build a fantasy team, try to predict all sorts of things in my compendium. There was a prize pool which was epic to track and follow throughout the months leading up to TI there was in game UI thematics revolving around TI.
    
    After the compendium times came battle pass times and I know the dota community is the definition of the grass is always greener, but man I had no money back then but still managed to think it was so cool and still got the free rewards.
    
    Some of you enjoyed the crown fall event I honestly thought it was super boring I don’t really enjoy reading all the stuff and just played the roll and got 2 arcana’s which is super cool, but literally anything to create hype for the biggest competition in E sports would be nice ?? Just anything to remind people that TI is just 2 months away, if I didn’t just check liquidpedia I wouldn’t know TI is right around the corner.
    
    Obviously the games not dead but if there’s one event during the entire year which means enough in Dota 2 to garner some types of in game events or count down or hype or anything it’s TI. I feel like TI has been boiled down to a smaller event which doesn’t really matter as much anymore, largely because of the prize pool which is one thing, but even more so because of lack of in game content. Last year was alright but I honestly don’t think I ever looked twice at any sticker or player card I got. The voice lines were nice though but seems like that won’t be the case this year.

    Parents caught me gooning to femboys what should I do?

      Its from a post on r/teenagersbutbetter that got removed shortly afterwards.

      so this happened last night and i’m still spiraling so bear with me
      
      basically, I'm 15, my family was going to the local fair thing that happens like once a year, they asked if i wanted to come but i said no cuz i had “homework” (i did NOT have homework bro i just wanted to stay home and do what needed to be done if u know what i mean 😭)
      
      so they leave, house is empty, i get comfy. lights off. headphones on. tabs open. i had my lil playlist goin and everything was set. it was some realll specific femboy stuff too like not just regular videos i was 12 pages deep in twitter threads w/ captions like “don’t scroll if you have school tmrw 😵‍💫💦”
      
      anyways i was DEEP into it like deep in the trenches brain fully goo. i think i had been at it for like an hour? maybe more? no clue. time stopped existing. i was whispering sh*t under my breath too like “yes please” and “good boy” (IK I KNOW DONT EVEN SAY IT BRO I’M AWARE 😭)
      
      and i had like some moan audios playing in the back too synced up with my d*ldo . literally the most feral session i’ve ever had
      
      BUT APPARENTLY
      
      my parents came back early. i don’t even know why. i still haven’t asked. but i had my noise canceling headphones on so i didn’t hear the door. didn’t hear them walk in. didn’t hear my dad coming up the stairs.
      
      i only noticed when the door OPENED
      
      and i swear on my life it was like time froze
      
      i yanked my blanket over myself and alt+tabbed SO fast i almost sprained my wrist. but i still had one airpod in and the moans were still playing 😭
      
      my screen had like 12 tabs open. you could SEE one of them was just a full-on femboy cosplay thread with a vid that was 100% still moving in the corner. and my dad just stood there. stared at the screen. then at me. then just backed out slowly like he walked in on a crime scene
      
      i heard my mom downstairs go “was he watching… a boy?” and then silence. complete silence. the kind of silence that makes you reevaluate your entire bloodline
      
      i didn’t leave my room for the rest of the night. i just laid there face down. couldn’t even finish. mood was GONE. soul was GONE
      
      this morning my mom asked if i “needed to talk” and i just said “nope.” my dad still hasn’t said anything. not even a cough. like bro didn’t even tell the dog good morning
      
      i don’t know what they saw. i don’t know if they think i’m gay or possessed or both. all i know is i need to fake my death and move to another country 

      MILKY MILKY WARM AND TASTY

        mommy said its my turn to simp

        Its a poem about an adult baby asking for milk from his “Mommy”. Initially started as a random post on r/copypasta titled “A poem about milky” it then spread all over Twitter circa 2020 when there’s a huge wave of simp copypasta.

        MILKY MILKY WARM AND TASTY!
        
        MOMMY! MILKY! PLEASE BE HASTY!
        
        REFRESHING DRINK FROM MOMMY'S UDDERS!
        
        I WANT MOMMY'S AND NO OTHER'S!
        
        GIVE IT! GIVE IT! GIVE IT NOW!
        
        GIVE ME MILKY, LAZY SOW!
        
        UNTIL YOU DO I'LL SCREAM I'LL SHOUT!
        
        I'M CRY I'LL WHINE AND STOMP ABOUT!
        
        UNTIL MY BELLY IS FULL AND HAPPY!
        
        I REFUSE TO TAKE A NAPPY!

        Just got obliterated by a Chad toddler at the supermarket

          I was just minding my business doing groceries as this high tier becky strolls in with her baby in tow. The toddler screams and screams and keeps screaming; I usually don't mind children but when they're loud as fuck and the parents do nothing it's annoying. So in passing I take a glance at the little shitlet and course it's a Chad. Blond, blue-eyed, straight hairline, hunter eyes, slim cheeks, pronounced jaw. No sign of the normal puffy cheeks, giant forehead and bug eyes you usually see in babies. In short, an Aryan Gigachad in the making :feelsree::feelsree::feelsree:
          
          In that moment the rage I felt was insurmountable. How dare this genetically privileged little shitter inconvenience all us subhumans like that? He will already be king of the world when he grows up, can he not at least feel a little bad for his inferiors and shut the fuck up? But no of course he can't since he's a baby and doesn't even understand what a mogger he is. The world is unfair, this little Chad was born a winner while I was born a loser :feelsrope: 

          Hungrybox crashes out on Fox

            Hbox had a crashout on stream about Fox recently and it became a meme within Melee.

            What a fucking vibe kill, dude. Of course, it’s to a chucklefuck randy fucking Fox, piece of shit! Randy fucking Fox, all you do is the same bullshit cause you have everything. Your character has everything! And they cater to you! They change the rules for you! To make you win more often! Oh, it’s not good enough. Let’s keep stadium transformations on. Oh, it’s not good enough. Let’s give him fucking Z jump. Oh, it’s not good enough. Let’s give him box controllers. Oh, it’s not good enough. Let’s give him fucking everything he needs!
            
            And he’s a cool character, of course. Fucking cunt bitch, fucking dumbass top tier fuck! Privileged fucking character and your mains complain; Somehow, they complain! About what, Puff? God forbid. About what, Iceys? Oh, just separate them, you dumb cunt! That’s all you fucking need: You have a one frame option off of drill; you have lasers; you have nineteen recoveries! You don’t have to do anything! Except win. 
            What a fucking vibe kill dude It's to a chuckle fucks RANDY FUCKING FOX PIECE OF SHIT Randy fucking Fox. All you do is the same bullshit because you have everything. Your character has everything and they cater to you. They change the rules for you to make you win more often. Oh, it's not good enough. Let's keep stadium transformations on. Oh, it's not good enough. Let's give him fucking Z jump. Oh, it's not good enough. Let's give him box controllers. Oh, it's not good enough. Let's GIVE HIM FUCKING EVERYTHING HE NEEDS! And he is the cool character, of course. Fucking cunt, bitch, fucking dumbass, top tier, FUCK! privileged fucking character, and your mains complain, somehow, they complain! About what? Puff? God forbid! About what? ICs? Oh! Just seperate them you dumb cunt! That's all you fucking need! You have a one-frame option off of Drill You have lasers! You have 19 recoveries! You don't have to do anything! Except win!

            Here In My Garage just bought this new Lamborghini here

              Her in my garage copypasta

              Its an old (2015) infamous video of Tai Lopez (success guru) flexing his new Lambo while trying to sell his course on his website. People meme-d this video a lot back then and recently Biaheza (Youtuber) made a reference towards this meme after buying and restoring an old Lambo.

              Here in my garage, just bought this new Lamborghini here. It’s fun to drive up here in the Hollywood hills. But you know what I like more than materialistic things? Knowledge. In fact, I’m a lot more proud of these seven new bookshelves that I had to get installed to hold two thousand new books that I bought. It’s like the billionaire Warren Buffett says, “the more you learn, the more you earn.”
              
              Now maybe you’ve seen my TEDx talk where I talk about how I read a book a day. You know, I read a book a day not to show off it’s again about the knowledge. In fact, the real reason I keep this Lamborghini here is that it’s a reminder. A reminder that dreams are still possible, because it wasn’t that long ago that I was in a little town across the country sleeping on a couch in a mobile home with only forty seven dollars in my bank account. I didn’t have a college degree, I had no opportunities.
              
              But you know what? Something happened that changed my life. I bumped into a mentor. And another mentor. And a few more mentors. I found five mentors. And they showed me what they did to become multimillionaires. Again, it’s not just about money, it’s about the good life; health, wealth, love and happiness. And so I record a little video, it’s actually on my website, you can click here on this video and it’ll take you to my website where I share three things that they taught me. Three things that you can implement today no matter where you are.
              
              Now, this isn’t a “get rich quick” scheme. You know, like they say if things sound too good to be true they are too good to be true. I’m not promising you that tomorrow you’re gonna be able to go out and buy a Lamborghini. But what I am telling you is that it can happen faster than you think if you know the proven steps. So, I record a little two minute video on my website. Like I said, now it’s not the most professional I just shot it here with my iPhone, but it’s real. Nobody can argue, this is my true story. And I’m going to give you the three most important things you can do today. So click the link, go there it’s completely free to watch it it’s just a couple minutes. Invest in yourself. Always be curious. Don’t be a cynic. Okay, people see videos like this and they say “Ah that’s not real that’s for somebody else.”
              
              Don’t listen, don’t listen. Be an optimist. Like, Conrad Hilton, the man who started Hilton Hotel, he said that he was only fifteen years old when he read a book by Helen Keller, and that book changed his life. Books can change your life. And in that book, Helen Keller said “optimism” so if you’re a cynic, if you’re a pessimist you don’t need to click here. Don’t worry about it, I don’t need to talk to everybody. But if you’re somebody who knows that there’s something better, cause the dream is possible, you know, for some of you watching it’s not necessarily a Lamborghini, maybe it’s a new job, a new opportunity, starting your own company.
              
              Maybe it’s a new lifestyle without so much stress, traveling the world, doing those things you know you’re destined to do. You can do those unless you understand finances. Money, I don’t call it money anymore, I call it fuel units. You must have enough fuel units to live out your dream and to live out your destiny. So, I’ll see you on my website, it’s a quick video and you’ll see there absolutely free.
              
              So just click this video and you’ll be taken there in a second, and uh, I’m excited to share this amazing stuff. You’ll see, not because of anything of me but because I’ve been fortunate enough to learn from mentors many years ahead of me. Not just in books like these, although I love books but also real in-person mentors. So let me share with you these three tips that have made all the difference in my life. They’re practical, you can do them today, you can start on them today. All right? See you there on my site.

              Meme-d version

              Here in my garaaaaaaaaaaaage. Just bought this new Lamborghini here. Fun to drive up here in the Hollywood Hills. But you know what I like a lot more than knowledge? this new Lamborghini here. But you know what I like a lot more than the new Lamborghini here? My Tedx talk where I talk about this new Lamborghini here. The. The. Thuhuhuhuhuhuuu. In fact I'm a lot more proud of these seven new Hollywood Hills that I had to get installed to hold two thousand new Lamborghinis. :| :o :| :o :| :o
              
              It's like the Buffet Warren billionaire says, "The more you earn the more you drive up here in the Hollywood Hills." In fact, the real reason I keep this Lamborghini, is the real reason I keep this Lamborghini here is that it's a reminder. A reminder that dreams are still possible because it wasn't that long ago that I was in a little Lamborghini sleeping on bookshelves in the Hollywood Hills with only forty seven billion dollars in my bank account, and forty seven Lamborghinis in my Lamborghini account, and only forty seven hills in my Hollywood account, and only forty seven Tedx Talks where I talk about Warren Buffets in my Tedx Talks where I talk about Warren Buffet account.
              
              But you know what? Something happened that changed my life. I bumped into a Lamborghini, and another Lamborghini, and a few more Lamborghinis. I found five Lamborghinis. I don't call it money anymore I call it fuel units. You must have enough units. You must have enough Lamborghinis. You must CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS.
              
              I'll see you on my website. It's a quick video and you'll see there absolutely nothing!