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I’m sick of Verina

    Parody of the Xiangling copypasta but changed to Verina from Wuthering Waves.

    I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Verina. I try to play Calcharo. My Verina deals more damage. I try to play Jiyan. My Verina deals more damage. I try to play Yangyang. My Verina deals more damage. I try not to play Sanhua. I want to play Danjin. But Her best team has Verina. I want to play Yuanwu, Chixia. They both want Verina. She grabs me by the throat. I fish for her. I cook for her. I give her the Cosmic Ripples. She isn't satisfied. "I don't need this much ER," she tells me. "Give me more field time." she argues... Why must Verina demand so much from me... The game hasn't even been out for a week yet she's terrorizing me like I owe her my lunch money. Please Verina just take what you get and heal my team, instead of scarring me so much that I can't use you in the endgame, causing me to be oneshot by level 69 Crownless. 
    I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Verina. I try to play Baizhi. My Verina does more heal. I try to play Taoqi. My Verina gets more concerto. I try to play S6 Mortefi. My Verina gives more team buff. I want to play Jinhsi. Her best team has Verina. I want to play Calcharo, and Jiyan. They both want Verina.

She grabs me by the throat. I water the plants for her. I tend the garden for her. I give her 5 pc of rejuvenating glow. She isn't satisfied. I give her a 25+ ER echo. "I need more of this" She tells me. "Give me less field time." She grabs Yuanwu and forces him to throw himself off enemies. "You just need to tank the hits, while I quickly build concerto with R5 Variation."

I can't pull for R5 Variation, I don't have enough astrite. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." She pushed me where the enemies are. She says "Ohno~ my grace of life cooldown is still on." But there is no hint of sadness in her eyes. Nothing but pure, no more photosynthesis energy left. What a cruel world.

    My very mixed experience with Jinhsi

      Source
      I was up at Loong's Crest enjoying my lunch when I saw a figure in the distance skiing down fast from the peak. I looked closer and HOLY SHIT IT'S MAGISTRATE JINHSI. Before I could get a word out, she had already snatched my lotus pastry out of my hands. She turned around with a blank expression and mouthed "no one will ever believe you" before doing a 360 triple backflip down the icy slope and out of sight

      No condoms, skin on skin. On the living room floor, the bedroom ceiling

        Evolution of the “no lube, no protection, all night all day” copypasta.

        Every way, all ways. Doggy style, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, missionary, spooning, frontwards, backwards, upside down, 69, standing, lotus, bridge, 360 degrees, in the rain, in the snow, in the blazing heat of a thousand suns. No condoms, skin on skin. On the living room floor, the bedroom ceiling, the kitchen counter, the closet, the fridge, the front porch, the neighbor’s lawn, the public library, the moon. On the couch, in the car, in the street, in a moving train, on a rollercoaster, on the office desk, in the elevator, on the Ferris wheel, in a bouncy castle, on a pirate ship, under the bed, in the attic, on a tightrope, while skydiving, in the middle of a flash mob. I want her bouncing on it until she’s pregnant with my triplets, quadruplets, and quintuplets all at once. Until our future kids are sending us postcards from space and narrating our wild adventures on TikTok. Because why stop at Earth when you can aim for the stars and beyond? Let’s make headlines and history books, baby!

        My mother asked me if I did the dishes

          AKA the Klay Thompson copypasta, its used to describe athletes who are no longer top of their game hence the term “washed”. 

          My mother asked me if I did the dishes. I replied “X”. She smiled, as she knew they were washed.
          My mom asked if the dishes were done and I yelled "X!"

She hugged me. She knew they were washed.
          My mom asked me if I did the dishes 

I yelled “X” 

She smiled 😊 She knew they were washed 🧼

          Reverse Klay Thompson copypasta

          My dad asked me to wash his car an hour ago.

When I returned, he asked me whether it was done or not.

I said Player_Name.

He beat me up because he knew that it wasn't washed

          I saw a Warhammer Dev at a Waitrose store in Horsham yesterday.

            Parody of the Flying Lotus copypasta but edited to fit the narrative from a post on r/totalwar where a player meet a dev.

            I saw a Warhammer Dev at a Waitrose store in Horsham yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

            Good Luck, Babe! – Emoji copypasta

              When you 🫵 💁‍♀️ wake up 🛏️ next to him 🤢in the middle of the night 🌚 With your 🫵 head 🤦‍♀️ in your 🫵 hands 👐 you're 🫵 nothing 🙅‍♀️ more than his 🤢 wife 👰‍♀️ And when you 🫵 think 🧠 about me 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 all of those years ago ⏱️ You're 🫵 standing 🧍‍♀️ face 👩 to face 👩 with "I told you so" 👁️👄👁️ 
              you 🫵 know 💭 i hate ❌ to say 💬

"i told you so💬🙄"

you 🫵 know 💭 i hate❌ to say it,💬 but

I TOLD YOU SOOOOOOOOOO 🗣️🔊
              you 🫵 can kiss 💋 a hundred 💯 boys 🧔 in bars 📶 Shoot 🔫 another shot 💉 try to stop 🛑 the feeling💓 You 🫵 can say 💬 its just the way 🤷‍♀️ you 🫵 are 💁‍♀️ Make a new 📝 excuse 💬 another stupid 🙄reason 🤨 good luck 🍀 babe 🐷