Jesus Christ I cannot fucking stand these kinds of comments. I just saw another one after seeing a dude ask if the Resident Evil 4 Remake's PSVR port comes with the Separate Ways DLC. Some poor fucking guy posts online some innocuous question like "hey is XYZ DLC included in this game?" or "is this feature in Windows 11??" and some smart-ass will go "uh why didn't you just Google this? It takes five seconds to Google something. What are you, stupid?" Oh yeah dude totally, fuck human connection. God forbid someone want to connect with someone else online, if only briefly, over an innocuous thing, just to remind themselves in a cold and sometimes isolating world that there are other people with the same fucking questions you have. That's just awful. We shouldn't be asking other humans for advice, just Google shit! Fuck it, why even have human conversations? Just talk to an AI man, that shit is easier! "Why would you go out of your way to have sex, man? It takes five seconds to look up porn." You fucking nimrod. (I don't mean YOU, person reading. In my head, I'm telling at a fake, hypothetical person who represents everything I've ever been annoyed by. You're fine.) Googling shit doesn't always give you the answer. Sometimes people want help from a goddamn person in the present and not pouring through the distant past of a NeoGAF user from fucking 2005 to figure out if your ammo refills when you upgrade your capacity in Resident Evil 4 or some shit. "But they can just Google it, it takes 5 sec-" guess what else takes five seconds? Answering the fucking question or clicking on a different post. Fucking asinine. Weren't we just bitching and depressed because of how isolating COVID felt? Didn't you, fictional victim of my yelling, just post the other day about how lonely you feel sometimes? Small fucking moments with fellow humans means something. Maybe that dude needs help with his Roku TV not playing an .MP4 he put together, or maybe he just needs someone to go "Yeah isn't that fucking annoying? God video codecs are frustrating" along with him because it's not just about fucking video codecs not working on Roku. Do you not ever want to just bitch for a second about technology not working? Google doesn't do shit for that, you can't Google "it is really frustrating that my laptop volume is so low" and get Google to say back, "yeah, that's really fucking annoying, isn't it? Have you tried Sonic Studio III?" because GOOGLE IS NOT A PERSON. Not to mention Google fucking sucks nowadays. You know how long it took for me to finally find the right Blu-Ray authoring software that actually worked and wasn't an over-expensive piece of shit through Google? I had to download like six fucking programs, each time trying and hoping to fucking God this one would be what I needed only for it to be a clunky useless piece of shit that just wants $50 from me. Oh yeah Google was a real help there. No, what ACTUALLY helped was posting online and getting a recommendation from someone who has actually done that shit before. Dude didn't just bitch at me for not using Google, now I'm working with a program that doesn't make me want to tear my face off. Oh noooo but I'm just lazy, right? If you aren't using the Mega Overlord Google Search Engine you're just lazy! Fuck you. Give me your friends, I'll ask them, clearly you don't need them since you get everything you need from typing into a search engine, right? God damn this shit pisses me off. Sorry, I know you guys are all ranting about important shit like human rights and the possibility of human collapse within the next century, but I have to get this off my chest now and the actual subreddit, you know, offmychest, that shit seems to be for personal trauma and I don't wanna barge in there with my neurotic anger over internet pretension. Then again if that were to bother someone and they didn't know what to do about it, I guess they should just fucking Google it, right? Better not talk to any humans about it. I'm tired.
Make... No mistake... I'm a sociopath. God that sounded evil. Lets rewind a little. I grew up all over coastal America, house, after house, after restraining order, everything just kinda blends in. If the divorce rate is 50/50, my mom landed on tails like eight times. So by the time I was 14, right? I moved from seven different houses and attended six different school districts. After awhile, you don't see a point in making friends. The Vitamin C graduation song? yeah, can't relate. But then, one year, all of that almost changed?? For the first time EVER I found myself in a school for two consecutive years, going on three. And then like... I started turning pretty a month into highschool so the "guys hitting on you" social leverage was really awesome. The popular girls would talk to me all of the time, and they were just STUPID. Like they had always been pretty. Never left out, never alone. And when I think about it... all the thinking I've ever done was when I was alone. I was nice about it, and thought I'd always be nice about it. Finally in one place to build a steady reputation. And then life said FUCK THAT. My PIECE OF SHIT GAMER BROTHER got us evicted for pirating BREAKBEAT MIXTAPES. ITS LIKE, NOT EVEN GOOD MUSIC??? Anyway, so Mom was crying packing up the moving boxes and that's when she told me we're moving out of state! And I JUST got settled! I said "FUCK YOU I'm living with Dad", he's just a neighborhood down. I put the boxes down, go over, knock on the door and... BOOM. A GUNSHOT. My second Christmas KILLED HIMSELF! I walked in... floor looked like a whole ass video game just blood everywhere. And get this, his suicide note was stuck to the fridge with a Cookie Monster magnet. All he wrote on it? Nicole's fault.... I'm Nicole by the way hi WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO HIM?! Maybe I missed the office softball game?? Men are so into this revenge suicide thing. But whatever. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters... I'm moving... AGAIN. City, county, state; all the same fate. But I've always said that... while leaving. This time? Its on arrival.
Class of ’09: The Re-Up
It's funny when a girl tells her story, only to be told back that it's unrealistic. Almost as if they're afraid to believe it's real.
For everyone who doesn't know; my mom's a bitch, my dad shot himself, my life sucks, and my brother is on a watchlist. Not in that order, or maybe, I don't know.
But last year, that combination left me at the worst, most predatory school imaginable. At least, I thought it was the worst school, but then I like, talked to other people and it turns out it wasn't that bad? Well no, it was that bad, it was just really standard.
Other girls saying their gym teacher wanted to bang them, their counselor texting them at three in the morning; I was the only one with a white nationalist photography teacher though, so I guess that's something.
But here's the problem; Mom won't listen, the principal doesn't care, and I still have all of senior year to get through! My life's just a game...a sick, hopeless game.
Like, I've never really been "religious", but if God is some introvert loser sitting in their computer chair, I really hope they can help me through this...
Stop fucking mewing. Do you realize that looksmaxxing is a worse plague on this earth than COVID?! You probably can't even read what I'm saying because instead of your hands being used to write in school you're making that same fucking motion hundreds of times every day. I bet your arm muscles can't even move your arm down below chin level anymore because of what you did. Your mother gets a call from your school. They say that her 7 year old son has not been learning and has been making a strange motion with his hand. They are scared that you are affiliated with some sort of gang. Soon, you are taken to a maximum security prison, where you are put in solitary confinement for until you stop pointing at your chin. You start to starve to death because your hands couldn't physically move downwards enough to reach your food. You're taken to the hospital, where they preform emergency surgery to remove both of your arm's tendons. Finally, the world is saved from your cringe.
Applebee's and Chili's are the restaurants of sadness and apathy. The emotion of Outback is rage. You're a 53 year old father of two working in commercial truck leasing. You've been working your ass off to repay the vacation money you took from the college fund, and you've been neglecting the wife. You want to give her a nice meal. She likes that guy from animal planet what got shish-kabobed by a stingray, so why not outback? You've been everywhere else in the last few years. She wants to spend eight American dollars on an onion, and you let her because the fucking point of the night is to make her happy, but you can't fucking stand it. The cheapest fucking vegetable in the world and she thinks it's god damn special. You both get steak. Your first bite tastes fine, but you keep chewing. You again continue chewing. You're genuinely confused by the amount of gristle still in your mouth. What few grains of beef that manage to slip out are more an insult than a reward. What the fuck are you supposed to do with the fucking gristle? You fake a cough and drop the wad of gristle on the ground so the wife doesn't complain about it being on your plate. That's when you see. She's staring at you. She doesn't know what to do with her own gristle, and she's noticed you somehow don't have gristle. Whatever she decides you did, you know you're not getting your blow job this month. The smug prick of a waiter offers you desert. It's probably some dumbass name like Kangaroo cheesecake, but you don't hear a word of it. The wife orders one for each of you. You drive home. She thanks you for taking her out. She goes to bed. You get a beer and turn on Fox News. You hear her softly crying, and you're just too fucking tired to care anymore. Maybe she'll fuck that guy from church again and get a little happiness in her life. All you know for sure is that Outback steakhouse should be burned to the ground.
🇧🇷 ATENÇÃO PATRIOTAS 🇧🇷 EM RESPOSTA AO AUTORITARISMO 📵🤚🏻 DAS REDES SOCIAIS 📵👨💻 NOSSO CAPITÃO 🔰 JAIR MESSIAS BOLSONARO 🔰 CONVIDA TODOS A DELETAREM SEUS PERFIS EM FORMA DE PROTESTO 💥💥 SE TRUMP NAO TEM TWITTER NÓS TAMBEM NAO TEMOS 👊🏻👊🏻 REPASSE E DELETE IMEDIATAMENTE 💚💛
34M
It started when I was 18 when a 45 year old woman I’d met at a bar took me home. She lived in a house share single bedroom with a single bed and rugby union posters all over her bedroom wall and a bulldog wearing an anxiety vest that was nutting off while I did what I had to do. Her pussy was sealed shut like an Egyptian tomb and her only excuse for the cobwebs and plume of dust was “it’s…been a while”. I was really let down by that experience as I thought all cougars were rich honeys with their own mansion.
Since then I’ve worked my way to the top of cougar mountain and at 34 have found it to be the absolute peak. 34 is a prime age for many reasons, you can easily pick up a girl in her 20s. Girls in their 30s are so desperate for a family that you have the pick of the litter when you want a serious relationship. Sub 30 y/o was typically off limits for all but the filthiest of cougars, however at 34 I’ve found the doors to Pussy Palace are flung wide open from all angles, but they say the older the berry the sweeter the juice, and it’s prime season for cougar hunting. (Cougars to me are 40+, I prefer 45-62)
I have moved to London and the quality of cougars is just next level fellas. If they’re not some rich CEO then they’re a divorcee on a hot girl summer. 30+ women were a good training ground in my younger years, but 40+ is where the magic happens boys. And if you’re an absolute dog like myself, you won’t even let 70 stop you.
I know what you’re thinking, that’s fucking gross, but some of these women are still in tip top shape, I would never hook into anything less than a cougar that could still be on the cover of a women’s health magazine and I just can’t get enough.
Anyone else in the same boat? I don’t want to enter into a committed relationship because I just can’t stop railing cougars. I joined a swingers site a few years ago and found dozens of women who wanted to get drilled in front of their husbands who beat off in the corner, I always found it a bit weird but I think that was the shame I had back then, these days I just have to accept who I am and do it for the cucks. Where all my gilf brothers at?
6.8” to the bone, 5.5” girth, uncut
