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byu/Ok-Nature-5959 from discussion
inshittymoviedetails
Josh Gad and I were at a private dinner together. Not together, just both guests. He was passing me a dessert plate with pie topped with whipped cream. He stuck his finger in the cream and said "Tasty for Joshy?" and then licked his finger.
Then he said "Just kidding, that one's mine." And then he handed me my own plate.
A moving and sincere watch courtesy of Amazon and the Trump estate.
Myself and many in the audience got up off our seats to applaud at the end. A first for me. A triumphant eye opening account into the emotional and sentimental aspects of the First Lady's trials and hardships.
Encore, Melania. Encore.I am settling in for a showing of ‘Melania’ and the theater is PACKED!
Earlier, a bystander asked if I was heading in to see Avatar, and I stopped dead in my tracks.
“Avatar? No, son,” I curtly replied. “I don’t watch woke movies. I’m here to see the groundbreaking documentary about our incredibly talented First Lady.”
The man’s two little girls began jumping up and down, pulling on his sleeve, and begging, “Daddy, we want to see Melania!”
“But. But…” he stammered, “I thought you girls wanted to see Zootopia 2?”
“No, no, NO,” they said, now nearly shouting. “We want to see Melania!! She is the most beautiful First Lady EVER.”
Their father was scrambling, stressed out, and disoriented.
“Girls, I’m afraid you aren’t the only ones who are captivated by President Trump and his beautiful wife,” I said, kneeling to get on their level. “Virtually everyone in this theater is here for the 7:30 PM showing, and it’s been sold out for days.”
Tears began to well up in their eyes.
“But…” I said in a hushed tone, “I happen to have a few extra tickets with me, and I’d like you and your dad to have them.”
They jumped for joy and began hugging their father. He looked relieved as he wiped the sweat off his brow with a smile.
I handed him the tickets and pulled him close. “Raise these girls right,” I whispered. “Teach them to be classy conservative women of faith like Melania, don’t let them become like Meghan Markle. Capisce?”
He hugged me and thanked me profusely. “What are you going to do now?” He asked.
“Don’t worry about me, son,” I told him, with a twinkle in my eye. “I’ve already got tickets to the next showing.”
By u/Starguy2, its the Rick and Morty copypasta but changed to a Roblox game, Block Tales.
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Block Tales. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of Old School Roblox and Philosophy, most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Terry's ego-centric and sociopathic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Max Stirner, for instance.
The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Block Tales truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humor in Terry's catchphrase "I'LL KILL YOU," which itself is a cryptic reference to his crippling fear of becoming close to others. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Space Moonbase's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. 😂
And yes by the way, I DO have a Griefer tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
I keep stroking it to Omni man's cheeks, and I don't think I'll ever stop. It all started a few weeks ago when invincible season three's finale came out. I kept hearing this song over and over in my feed, and heard a voice calling to me. It was Nolan. I tried to ignore him, but around the 57th time of hearing this song, I finally gave in. I pulled down my pants and started marking my Grayson. Atoming my eve. It was the best sensation I've ever felt. I can't stop Ceciling my Steadman to Omni man's big bubbly delight, and I don't think I ever will. Does anyone else have this problem? Or is it just me?
By u/ImpressiveAction2382, who posted this unironically about Donk in the CS sub before becoming a meme.
Donk's mentality pulling Spirit to the bottom
Is only me mentioned everyone in team Spirit looks like they just don't want to disappoint little boy in their team more than win something and it looks like team strategy? Even if you look at interview of new-old players they said how they have to support him because he can decide to leave. When he started in team Spirit they became best team for half of season and there wasn't such a big pressure. Now I see how mad is donk after his fails even in games they're winning and it fells like everyone including coach are scared to make mistake to not be under donk's negative aura, we could hear it in TeamSpeak in BD Major and how he behaved after loosing mirage(Zywoo would return as better version of him, donk returned tilted). Pressure in TS is very high, but this player makes it worse and worse for his teammates despite he's individually best player, he has to be responsible for his behavior and team results, if he wants to win tournaments as a team he has to fix his mentality. Can imagine TS with Zweih instead of Donk on his core roles could be better team without tilted star.
Simply worst problem of TS is returning to the game after any lose, sometimes it's impossible to comeback and if they lose few rounds in a row they gonna drop this map. And someone after clutch will say "I don't like what happens" and everyone falls silent instead praise the player who won the round
What do you think?Comment
byu/ImpressiveAction2382 from discussion
inGlobalOffensive
The whole team walking on eggshells around one player is never gonna work long term, even if he's insane mechanically
Reminds me of donk's early days where the talent was undeniable but the mental side was holding everyone backIt’s always the worst when your teammate who is doing very well dunks on you verbally. It’s such a mental distraction. If that person is really mad and tearing you apart, it can feel like you HAVE to consider what they’re saying and they can absolutely be wrong. Makes you second guess yourself.
At least that’s my experience. It never makes me play better to hear the clearly better gamer get upset. It’s why I always try to stay chipper and keep morale up. Helps way more than people give it credit for.Is only me mentioned everyone in Falcons looks like they just don't want to disappoint little boy in their team more than win something and it looks like team strategy? Even if you look at interview of new-old players they said how they have to support him because he can decide to leave. When he started in Falcons they weren't great and there wasn't such a big pressure. Now I see how chill is m0NESY after his fails even in games they're winning and it fells like everyone including coach are scared to make mistake to not be under m0NESY's negative aura, we could hear it in TeamSpeak in BD Major and how he behaved after loosing mirage(donk would return as better version of him, m0NESY returned chill and looking like he doesn't care). Pressure in Falcons is very high, but this player makes it worse and worse for his teammates despite he's individually best player, he has to be responsible for his behavior and team results, if he wants to win tournaments as a team he has to fix his mentality. Can imagine Falcons with degster instead of m0NESY on his core roles could be better team without a chill star who doesn't care.
Simply worst problem of Falcons is returning to the game after any lose, sometimes it's impossible to comeback and if they lose few rounds in a row they gonna drop this map. And someone after clutch will say "I don't like what happens" and everyone falls silent instead praise the player who won the round
What do you think?Is only me mentioned everyone in team BCGame looks like they just don't want to disappoint little boy in their team more than win something and it looks like team strategy? Even if you look at interview of new-old players they said how they have to support him because he can decide to leave. When he started in team BCGame they became best team for half of season and there wasn't such a big pressure. Now I see how mad is s1mple after his fails even in games they're winning and it fells like everyone including coach are scared to make mistake to not be under Simple's negative aura, we could hear it in TeamSpeak in IEM Krakow and how he behaved after loosing mirage(maka would return as better version of him, s1mple returned tilted). Pressure in BCGame is very high, but this player makes it worse and worse for his teammates despite he's individually best player, he has to be responsible for his behavior and team results, if he wants to win tournaments as a team he has to fix his mentality. Can imagine BCGame with donk instead of s1mple on his core roles could be better team without tilted star.
Simply worst problem of BCGame is returning to the game after any lose, sometimes it's impossible to comeback and if they lose few rounds in a row they gonna drop this map. And someone after clutch will say "I don't like what happens" and everyone falls silent instead praise the player who won the round
What do you think?
The biggest oversight with Dark Willow is that she's unbelievably sexy. I can't go on a hour of my day without thinking about plowing that tight wooden ass. I'd kill a man in cold blood just to spend a minute with her crotch grinding against my throbbing manhood as she whispers terribly dirty things to me in her geographically ambiguous accent.The biggest🙌💯oversight🔭🔍with Dark✊🏾Willow🌳is that she's unbelievably sexy🤤💦🍆. I can't go on a hour🕐of my day🌞without thinking💭💦about plowing👉👌🚜that tight😳wooden🌳ass💦🍑. I'd kill🔫😱a man👨 in cold❄️blood😈just to spend💷a minute⏱️with her crotch🍑😫grinding against my throbbing💦🍆💦manhood💦🍆💦as she whispers🙊😫terribly dirty💩💩things to me in her geographically🌍🌎ambiguous🌏🗺️accent🇮🇪.
Okay. So, I’ve been seeing this copypasta floating around about wanting to “bang Dark Willow”, and frankly- I think this is disgusting. First of all, her name isn’t “Dark Willow”, it’s Mireska. It’s a beautiful name for a beautiful person, and you would all do well to refer to her as such. If you don’t even know her name, than you have no right wanted to have sex with her!
Secondly, wanting to bang her is just gross. Saying that you want to bang Mireska is objectifying her, and it is not okay. If you’ve ever wanted to bang Mireska, you should be disgusted with yourself.
Unlike you cretins, I however- respect her. Sure, it’s possible I may consider her to be rather bangable, but I wouldn’t dare do such a thing. Mireska is a fucking queen, and deserves to be treated as such.
I DO NOT want to bang “Dark Willow". I want to hug her. I want to be in a healthy and loving relationship with Mireska. I want to wake up every morning in bed, with her lying peacefully next to me as the morning sun shines in through the window. I want to make her breakfast every morning, and tend to her every need. I want her to feel like she is truly loved, (because she is). I want her to be by my side for my whole life, because I know that she is the perfect woman for me, and I am perfect for her.
I want to be to be with her every day, just so I can tell her how much I fucking love her. I want her to know how much I adore everything amazing personality, her incredible fashion sense, her extremely impressive caretaking abilities, and her absolutely beautiful wing to body ratio, and her beautiful, beautiful eyes. However, if I were to ever have sex with Mireska, wouldn’t simply be “banging” her. If Mireska were to ever consent to me having sexual intercourse with her, it would be tender and loving and passionate. As we make love, I’d slowly and gently caress her soft, fluffy wings as I slowly but deliberately thrusted into her tight wooden pussy. I would make her pleasure my utmost priority, with my own being secondary. But if she was willing, than oh god. What I wouldn’t give to feel her adorable little antennas running up and down the length of my shaft. I just wanna pet every inch of her body, and give her scritches on her tummy so she does that thing that fairies do where their wings spaz out. That’d just be so fucking hot. I’d probably end up cumming all over her, so it gets on her wings. But goddamn. I love those wings wo much, that I’d personally lick off every last drop of cum, just to I have another opportunity to get as close to her gorgeous wings as possible.
But if you just want to bang her, than you are a disgusting degenerate, and I hope you burn in the deepest pits of tartarus.Why isn't Dark Willow real? Every day I wake up and feel nothing. I feel literally nothing. I don't have anything to do. I don't have anything to look forward to. My life is just one big void, a dark void without a bottom. The only time when I feel anything at all is when I play Dark Willow. Mireska is the only happiness I have left in this shitty life. I work well below minimum wage in some shady fast food restaurant. I don't even know if what I'm doing is legal. I guess I never even bothered to think. That just goes to show how big of a fucking idiot I really am. I just work mindlessly for 8 hours a day. All the money I don't spend on food, rent and water goes to Dark Willow commissions. I've played the hero about 1300 times now. I don't regret anything. Without Mireska I would've killed myself anyways. I'm a parasite, my life does nothing but bother people. Dark Willow is the only reason I even bother to wake up, even if it means 10 more hours of suffering before I can play Dota again. I am still wondering why Mireska can't be real. If she were real I would have actual motivation. Right now I am aware of how big of a disgusting loser I am. Maybe if Mireska was real I could find true happiness. But no. Those things can't happen. It's a game, it isn't real. I can't stand it anymore. I want to feel the wooden skin. I want to touch Mireska. Everyday without Mireska is pure pain. It's pure suffering. Even if I can watch her on the screen, it isn't enough. I can't count the amount of money I've spent on commissions for Dark Willow hentai. I'm such a pathetic loser. Every night I dream of being with her, only to once again wake up to this shitty life I have.