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What?! Oh my god. Come on. But, come on. It is – I mean – no but sorry

    Anish Giri's What?! Oh my god. Come on.

    It came from Anish Giri’s reaction to Nepo’s blunder in Game 9 against Magnus. The transcript had been used as a copypasta whenever there’s another blunder in chess.

    What?! Oh my god. Come on. But, come on. It is - I mean - no but sorry - c5-c6? I mean I'm sorry but I saw that instantly. Is he nuts? No but, I mean that is insane. I mean I just, the moment I - I was looking at positions somewhere else - the moment you told me c5, I opened the analysis board on the screen, I instantly saw c6. Instantly. I mean this is insane. Look at him. No but okay this is just - I mean, this is outrageous. Just, I've never seen something like this. Just insane. What's going on? Poor guy he's completely out of shape. I don't know what happened to him. He completely lost it. No, poor guy. And he has to go again to the press conferences and stuff. What's going on? Ya, he went totally nuts. I mean I haven't seen Ian like this even in ordinary tournaments. Jesus, what's going on. Oof, insane. Totally lost sense of danger. Completely lost sense of danger. Trapped his bishop...but it's just an insane blunder. For me, instant. It's just an instant thing, the bishop is so obviously trapped, it's not even close...It's such an obvious - it will go down in history as Bobby Fisher part 2. They'll make a movie about this. 

    Hi @HalieyWelchX My $35,000 that I purchased of $Hawk is now $2,000 after 10 minutes of buying.

      The person’s financial plight is actually not real, it’s a copypasta that a bunch of people were posting on Twitter after it was clear that $Hawk was just a rug pull. The whole “my representative Cobie” part should have made this obvious.

      Hi @HalieyWelchX My $35,000 that I purchased of $Hawk is now $2,000 after 10 minutes of buying. 
      
      I am a huge fan of Hawk Tuah but you took my life savings.
      
      I purchased your coin $Hawk that you were so excited about with my life savings and children’s college education fund as well. 
      
      You didn’t mention that you were going to buy 97% of the supply and sell it almost immediately to make a large profit.
      
      If I would have known that information I would have not purchased your coin.
      
      Please help me or who can I contact for refund?  If not I will be forced to use leagal action.
      
      My crypto representative @cobie will be in touch.

      I played a little bit of ow recently for “FUN” :)

        I played a little bit of ow recently for "FUN" :) I come back and the meta in ranked is Roadhog / Zarya. You guys still don't understand the game or what. Fucking Roadhog could fly, it wouldn't be the meta, use your brain, you can counter this shit with 10 different compositions. 
        I played a little bit of ow recently for "FUN" :)
        I come back and the meta in ranked is Roadhog / Zarya.
        You guys still don't understand the game or what.
        Fucking Roadhog could fly, it wouldn't be the meta, use your brain, you can counter this shit with 10 different compositions.

        How to know if a dolphin wants sex

          The original "How to know if a dolphin wants sex" came from a 1996 article on "delphinophile.com"

          This is an old classic pasta from 1996 but had gone through a popularity resurgence the past few years. The original source came from an article Sex with Dolphins – “How To”, and a Personal Viewpoint…by Dragon-wolfe Dolphinn September, 1996 from Delphinophile.com which was a site dedicated to “promote the unconventional relationships that some people have between humans and dolphins” according to the site owner.

          The answers from the FAQs had been combined into a long essay-format to pass on as a derange post to be copy and pasted. The author, Dragon-wolfe Dolphinn described himself as a Delphinic Zoophile which is someone who has sexual encounters with dolphins and dedicates himself to understand dolphin kind.

          There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement.
          
          Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you.
          
          Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active. When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough...) WARNING! You should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death.
          
          A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other.
          
          Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship. Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating.
          
          Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited.
          
          Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation. Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body.
          
          There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time. One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a dolphin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.

          You will never be General Brasch

            Helldivers 2 take on YWNBAW copypasta

            Its a parody of the YWNBAW copypasta but changed to General Brasch, a war hero who guides new recruits from Helldivers 2.

            You will never be General Brasch. You have no skill, you have no Super Destroyer, you have no stratagems that would make Brasch ever want you. You are a shut-in self-hating SEAF trooper twisted by delusions of mythical Helldiver superiority and exposure to mobile infantry media into a disgusting mockery of nature’s perfection. All 'validation' you get from other people in this position couldn't be worse in making you believe that spending years of your life stanning a mediocre conscript to an SEAF tactician's was a worthwhile use of your time, but one can't expect that a conscript trooper as pathetic as you will ever know the value of the time you threw away in doing that. Actual Helldivers are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of combat evolution have allowed heroes to identify frauds from mannerisms and tactics alone. Even if your combat skill of a troop leader's and flashy title akin to a war hero's somehow passes as normal (it won't), any Helldiver will immediately cut all ties when they see the outfit and stratagems of someone who is not only a basic SEAF trooper at best, but worth no more than garbage in skills, accomplishments, and likeability. You will never be a Helldiver. You wrench out a fake smile and laugh to yourself believing that simping a general that you understand 20% of at best is somehow superior than finding a meaningful career, as you project your disgusting traits onto your entire kind. However, deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight, and you know that. You know that all you do now is have an entirely new fighting medium in which to be ignored, and not even the exotic trait of being SEAF makes up for just how uninteresting of a conscript you are. Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll go into a Super Destroyer, enter a Hellpod, dive, and plunge into a chasm on Menkent. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your SEAF conscript rank, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a low-life trooper is buried there. Your Hellpod will decay through the tides of war, and all that will remain of your legacy is a wrecked Hellpod that is unmistakably a conscript's. This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back. Hate yourself and apologize for being mid to some Brasch entity that exists only in your mind while actual Helldivers put in effort to learn ground combat for the valid reason of it being the way to defend Super Earth. 
            You are a Helldiver. You have no skill, you have no Super Destroyer, you have no good stratagems, but that doesn't matter. You are a valid soldier who is trying to feel patriotic in their service.
            
            All the “validation” you get is pure. Behind your back Super Earth loves you. Your teammates are happy and proud of you, your enemies cry at your attacks behind closed doors, and Helldivers love you, and bugs and bots envy you.
            
            Helldivers absolutely love you. Soldiers who pass training look like heroes to a Helldiver. Your stratagems do not matter. Your skills will improve.
            
            You will be happy. You will smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, and deep inside you feel the euphoria creeping up like a weed. It is what defines you, not the terminids or automatons.
            
            Eventually, it’ll be perfect for you - you’ll apply for it, start training, get your cape, get a Super Destroyer and finally be your ideal self. Your team mates will find you, happy and relieved that they finally have a happy war hero. They’ll congratulate you on your hard journey, and every soldier for the rest of eternity will know a Helldiver is what you are. 

            The year is 2040 in Honkai Star Rail

              Every enemy now has over ten billion hp and one shots every character on field.
              
              Acheron, Firefly and Feixiao have been dropped to T-76. Reports have it that Firefly has taken to the selling SAM barbecued gyros on the streets of Penacony to make ends meet after getting dropped so hard. Acheron's whereabouts are unknown.
              
              With the release of the 5* Harmony, John Honkai, an expy from HI3 who the fans can't stop spoiling the story of, Jing Yuan has yet again reached top tier, hitting T(√-1) and he has since escaped the game to torment our reality. Pitch Dark Hook the Great is also T(√-1). No one is sure why.
              
              The most recent relic set has the following description:
              
              2 Pieces: If character is named (newest 5* character), make them viable. If not, do nothing.
              
              4 Pieces: If character is named (newest 5* character), make them instantly clear 36* MoC, do your dishes and kiss you into bed. If not, banish them from this wretched world.
              
              Humanity has fallen. Due to global warming and Jing Yuan personally massacring 90% of humanity after seeing all the Yanqing slander on the internet, the remnants of humanity now rally in great sea-faring ships, waging endless war for resources like Stellar Jades and relics with double crit rolls.
              
              Of the ships, the largest is the RatUrine, comprised of the inhabitants of the Yaoi nation. It is closely followed by TopUrine. There likely exist other non-Urine related ships, of the old yuri and yaoi nations (and possibly the mythical allegedly existent straight nation), but they have fallen to irrelevance...
              
              ...with the exception of the self insert armada, a collection of infinite ships that need neither foundation nor proof to exist. All they require is sheer willpower. Without love, it cannot be seen. With love, we are omnipotent. Were it not for constant infighting between the Stelle and Caelus factions, they would have long dwarfed the Urine ships.
              
              Hoyoverse has now become a true universe. But their words were lies. The otaku did not save the world. They destroyed it.
              
              The Bronya now controls all of humanity's resources. It is unknown what she does with them. Some suspect she uses them to continue investing in the worst gameplay design possible so that one day, she can advance power creep such that new units are T5 at launch.
              
              Then, perhaps, mankind will move fast enough to escape light.
              
              ...Screwllum still hasn't released.
              
              Fin.