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Storytime

Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.


I’ve jerked off to the vampire girl from hotel Transylvania a total of 214 times.

    I’ve jerked off to the vampire girl from hotel Transylvania a total of 214 times. All I want in life is to penetrate her pale virgin vampire pussy with my 5.6 inch horse schlong and impregnate her while my dad watches and cheers me on. God just the thought of her sucking the smegma from my foreskin makes me cum my pants. I would literally kill myself tomorrow just to suck a single one of her toes today, why can’t she just fucking be real fuuuuuck

    My teacher caught me jerking off to my crush in zoom class

      Fuck fuck fuck I can't believe it! Alright so today we're having class and my crush was looking like a straight-up snack as usual. No one could see me from the waist down so I stared at her and started to jerk off. I was yanking it, I was cranking it the teacher's words were going in one ear and right out the other. Then my crush got up to get a cola out of her mini-fridge, her fast ass was on display for everyone to see. I came so hard that it shot out of my dick like a surface-to-air missile! My thick sticky cum covered my Kill-La-Kill shirt, the whole class was staring. I knew they knew but I had to clean myself up. I thought I had covered the camera when I got up but the whole class saw my semi-hard dick in all its four inches of glory. The teacher kicked me from the class and pmd me to let me know that I had been suspended indefinitely. Does anyone know if I can sue the school for discrimination?

      I worked in the Coronavirus factory. This is my story, AMA

        My name is Lewis, and I was an employee at the Coronavirus factory run by Big Chungus. My boss, Reanu Keeves, (Keanu Reeves(wholesome man)‘s evil brother) comes up to me and he says to me

“Lewis, the time has come. It is time to make the Coronavirus in this Coronavirus factory. I am Reanu Keeves, Keanu Reeves’s evil brother.”

So I says to him

“Ok Reanu Keeves’s Keanu Reeves’s evil brother, I will do that because you asked me too. But will you give me money?

“no” said Reanu Keeves, Keanu Reeve’s evil brother.

“Ok” says Lewis (me)

So I do my work and go home. On the way back, Karl Marx and Max Stirner come up to me and they’re like

“Hey there little boy, do u work at Big Chungus Coronavirus Factory”

So I say “Why yes, Karx Marx from communist manifesto and Max Stirner from popular anime “The Ego And It’s Own”, I, Lewis, the author, do in fact work at Big Chungus’s Coronavirus factory”

And the old men are like “tomorrow at work can you break into Big Chungus (meme of fat bugs bunny)‘s office, and steal the secret papers about the factory?”

And I’m like “no i cant do that stealing is wrong and i am get fired. But I will do it if you give me a money.”

“Ok” says old guys

So I go home, and see my hot girl freind who is totally real and has big boobs.

“hey babe how was work?” She asks

“Shut the fuck up bitch” I say

We have super hot sex for the next three days, and then I go back to work at Big Chungus Coronavirus Factory.

“YOUR’RE LAIT!” Screams Keanu Reeves evil brother

“Fuck u” I say, and then I pull out a glock 19 and blow his fucking head off. I put is body in the Coronavirus machine. Then I sneek up to fat bugs bunny meme’s office, and break in. It’s really dark so I turn on light, and take the secret papers. Suddenly, the wooden thing that u open to get into room (i forget name) opens up, and in walks Big Chungus. He say

“WAT ARE U DO HERE??!! IM CALL THE POLICE

“No sir please don’t I’m so sorry I’m begging you please.” I say

He says “2 BaD!” and calls the police. The police show up and they say

“WE ARE PLOLICE!! U UNDER AREWST!!!”

But then they see a black man walking a dog and go to shoot him. While they distracted, I run away, but then I get attacked by a DRACULA!! He’s like

“Aaahhh I’m a Dracula I drink blood aaaahhhh”

“No sir please don’t I’m so sorry I’m begging you please.” I say

“No” it says

Then I pull out an onion, and throw it at him.

“Aaahhh I’m allergic to onions!!! Ahhhh” then the Dracula turns back into a frog.

Suddenly, big Chungus appears behind me and he’s like “I got you know” and the police come back and point their guns at me. I cry.

“Hand over the pappers.” Big Chungus (fat bugs bunny) says to me.

“no” I say, and then I pull out a can of black paint, and throw it on fat rabbit.

“Ahhh now i am covered in black paint that really sucks.” He says

Then the police say “everyone look! It’s another black persons!” And they shoot Big Chungus. I run away, and give the papers to Max Stirner and Karl Marx

They say “thank you so much loois, thanks to you, we can expose Big Chungus and cure the Cornucopiavirus. U r a her0.”

“ok” I say.

Then I go back home and go have more hot sex with my gilr frieeng

        When your normie class doesn’t understand Reddit and memes

          I did an epic troll on my normie class

My class if full of NORMIES! So I trolled them

So we had a substitute teacher and he went to get something from the back room. I decided to pin a picture of small Keanu Reeves along with big Chungus on the wall. Everyone starts saying “Sit down fucking idiot.” I say “No u” along with “destruction 100.” I’m on the floor dying right now while the class cannot understand the funny reference. Then I see some girl next to me on her phone. So I decide to lean and see what she’s doing. Turns out, she’s an INSTANormie and I yell “FUCKING NORMIE (with Pepe angry face) REEEEEE. USE REDDIT YOU FUCKING TUMOR!” Everyone is uncultured and looks at me like a weirdo. The girl says “The fuck is wrong with you? I don’t care about your stupid opinions.” I reply by making a Joe Joe reference “DIE NORMIE! (Here comes Joe Joe reference) MUDA MUDA MUDA!” My class starts yelling at me calling me autistic because they don’t know memes. The sub comes back and sees Keanu Chungus and this happens.

Sub: Who did this

Me: Oh I think it was Joe

Sub: What?

Me: JOE Mama

I start Rolf (rolling on the floor laughing) and Xding (XD is an emoticon for laughing, better than cancer emojis FYI.) My sub gives the entire class lunch detention and everyone is mad at me but at least it was epic lol. Just wish people were more cultured in Reddit.

I’d like to remind everyone that after school everyone was talking shit abt me. So I stood in front of them on the planter T posing going “mmmmmmmmmmm” and “DOOT DOOT.” Fucking everyone calls me a weirdo. I see a group of kids on their phones, so I walked and they were playing Fortnite like faggots (term by 4chan). So I call them a bunch of autists and how Minecraft is better. They walked away like a bunch fucking noons. People STARE at me when I tap them saying “CREEPER....” It’s a Minecraft parody that’s not that bad musically but they’re supposed to respond with “Aww man.” But nobody ever does.

          Found this on some r/murderedbywords Trump post.

            My buddy works as a guard at one of Trump's immigration facilities (concentration camps). He said Trump came to visit the facility one day. Trump requested 5 immigrants be placed in a room and he be left alone with them to interrogate them.

Trump entered the room alone and shut the door. My buddy then heard 5 gunshots. Trump left the room, winked at my buddy and said, "that's how you make America great".

My friend went in the room and saw all 5 immigrants were dead. He also said there was significant evidence that Trump had performed dark blood magics. Also, the bodies were molested.

Bernie Sanders was visiting the facility the same day to bring food and water to the immigrants. He tried to save them but was too late.

            Ass, Tiddies, Thighs, Feet

              Ass, Tiddies, Thighs, Feet.

Once the nations lived in peace and harmony but everything changed when the feet niggas attacked.

It was a peaceful time everyone could enjoy their own aspect but when the feet niggas decided to attack the thigh guys it was over. The times of peaceful handling and watching were over. Immediately the thigh guys informed the boob dudes and ass bro’s about the betrayal and they all agreed on planning a counter attack. This was, of course in the form of memes. The memes flooded all of reddit, ridiculing the feet niggas but this only made them stronger. The people seeing the memes decided to do their own research and found out in what group they belonged, unfortunately some found out that they were feet niggas.

This couldn't happen we can't make our enemies stronger we must do something! Said the boob dudes. Agreed this cannot go on any longer! Said the ass bro’s. So the thigh guys went thinking and came up with a solution. Now I know this isn’t ideas. Said the thigh guys. But we have to get help from some of our alliances, the weebs. We know that there are a lot of foot niggas over there but they also have a literal religion around anime thighs. If there is someone who can help it is the weebs.

So they sat around a table, discussing tactics on how to defeat the feet niggas once and for all. We could make memes right? Asked the weebs. No we already tried but it only made them unite and become stronger. Answered the ass bro’s boob dudes and thigh guys. So they had to find something new. Suddenly it stuck them all at once. To get rid of the feet niggas for once and for all we must do what is necessary, we must not make memes about them. We must make them a meme.

And so it happened, r/animemes r/dankmemes r/memes r/okebuddyretard and even r/pornmemes rised up in retaliation against this wack af fetish. They made the feet niggas a meme. This stopped them from recovering from it, the group became smaller because no one want to be part of a bad meme and the boob dudes ass bro’s and thigh guys invited the weebs to the big table, the table of 4. Now the feet niggas where finished a new alliance had to be made. The alliance of scientific purposes.

The end.