Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
I attended PragerU back in 2015 on a wrestling scholarship. That is until they shut down the wrestling program because the coaches kept banging all the kids. But hey that happens everywhere that's not just a PragerU thing. Unfortunately it also meant I was stuck taking normal classes and trying to keep my GPA up WITHOUT being a star athlete. And man those classes were so weird. My Civics teacher kept showing me cartoon frogs and complaining about freedom of speech anytime a student asked him to put his dick away. I took a film studies class but every week my libertarian teacher just played Fight Club and tried to explain why cryptocurrency is safer than the stock market. I still remember my first kiss in the quad of PragerU, right under the 80 foot tall statue of Jordan Peterson. One time I aced a test just by writing "I don't like big government" for every answer. My favorite memory has to be when we held a big anti-taxation rally that got so out of hand they had to call in the national guard, which did end the rally but only because the entire student body was also in the national guard. They say your college years are how you shape the rest of your life. After my time at PragerU, I'd have to say the rest of my life is shaped like Ronald Reagan's dangling, flaccid penis as he wanders the hall of the White House in confusion, talking to paintings and leaving a trail of piss wherever he goes until he can be wrangled back into his chair and forced to sign whatever bill puts more black people in prison. Thank you PragerU, and remember the "U" stands for Uruguay offshore accounts, so good luck following that money you bitch ass feds
Today my 12 year old and I walked into Harvard to sign him up for college. The dean rudely asked why a 12 year old was signing up for a prestigious institute. My son proclaimed "Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft". The dean tried to apologize but the police rushed in and dragged him out. My son passed all his classes with 4.0s and graduated magnet koom louder on the first day of college.
I was looking for minecraft mods when I found a mod that says "Hot Minecraft sex mod". I didnt want to install it because I live in a Christian household who would disapprove of it. However my curiosity got the best of me and I downloaded it anyway. When I logged in and started a new world this naked minecraft girl with big tits was walking up to me. I didnt want it to happen, but it did. My thot senses were off the charts as she tackled and fucked me. I looked up and around my screen to make sure nobody was watching. I turned around and looked at the man who was behind me. I was expecting the FBI to be all over me because of what I was doing, but it wasnt. It was Mark Zuckerberg who was watching me. He looked at me and said "playing with a minecraft sex mod eh? That's gonna be worth a lot when I sell your data without consent." I pleaded and begged him not to sell my data but he kept saying that he would make big loads of cash. The next day I opened my computer and all I saw were minecraft tiddy mods. As if anything couldnt get any worse, someone walked in on me and I tried to explain to them I got hacked but they didnt believe me and now I'm in big trouble.
I’ve been a part of the fandom for years now, so I’m used to hate online, but it’s gotten to the point where it has become unbearable. I own a popular TikTok account where I post furry art, and I have been repeatedly told to kill myself by trolls on the app. Recently, I’ve even faced harassment in real life. This last weekend, I was at the park with some friends roleplaying. I was wearing my German Shepard dog fur suit and roleplaying as a puppy, playing fetch with my friends and chasing the other dogs. Soon, a woman came to our group and began verbally harassing us. I was extremely scared, so I apologized to her. She returned to her bench but continued to watch us from afar. After she saw me lift my leg and urinate in a bush, she called the police. An officer responded to the call and I was issued an ordinance violation. I’m still extremely shaken from the experience and I feel like I was targeted for being a furry. I just don’t understand why furries are treated so much worse than members of other fandoms.
Look, I'm not a hateful person or anything—I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I've been having a real problem with these homosexuals. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts sucking my cock.
Take last Sunday, for instance, when I casually struck up a conversation with this guy in the health-club locker room. Nothing fruity, just a couple of fellas talking about their workout routines while enjoying a nice hot shower. The guy looked like a real man's man, too—big biceps, meaty thighs, thick neck. He didn't seem the least bit gay. At least not until he started sucking my cock, that is.
Where does this queer get the nerve to suck my cock? Did I look gay to him? Was I wearing a pink feather boa without realizing it? I don't recall the phrase, "Suck my cock" entering the conversation, and I don't have a sign around my neck that reads, "Please, You Homosexuals, Suck My Cock."
I've got nothing against homosexuals. Let them be free to do their gay thing in peace, I say. But when they start sucking my cock, I've got a real problem.
Then there was the time I was hiking through the woods and came across a rugged-looking, blond-haired man in his early 30s. He seemed straight enough to me while we were bathing in that mountain stream, but, before you know it, he's sucking my cock!
What is it with these homos? Can't they control their sexual urges? Aren't there enough gay cocks out there for them to suck on without them having to target normal people like me?
Believe me, I have no interest in getting my cock sucked by some queer. But try telling that to the guy at the beach club. Or the one at the video store. Or the one who catered my wedding. Or any of the countless other homos who've come on to me recently. All of them sucked my cock, and there was nothing I could do to stop them.
I tell you, when a homosexual is sucking your cock, a lot of strange thoughts go through your head: How the hell did this happen? Where did this fairy ever get the idea that I was gay? And where did he get those fantastic boots?
It screws with your head at other times, too. Every time a man passes me on the street, I'm afraid he's going to grab me and drag me off to some bathroom to suck my cock. I've even started to visualize these repulsive cock-sucking episodes during the healthy, heterosexual marital relations I enjoy with my wife—even some that haven't actually happened, like the sweaty, post-game locker-room tryst with Vancouver Canucks forward Mark Messier that I can't seem to stop thinking about.
Things could be worse, I suppose. It could be women trying to suck my cock, which would be adultery and would make me feel tremendously guilty. As it is, I'm just angry and sickened. But, believe me, that's enough. I don't know what makes these homosexuals mistake me for a guy who wants his cock sucked, and, frankly, I don't want to know. I just wish there were some way to get them to stop.
I've tried all sorts of things, but it's all been to no avail. A few months back, I started wearing an intimidating-looking black leather thong with menacing metal studs in the hopes that it would frighten those faggots off, but it didn't work. In fact, it only seemed to encourage them. Then, I really started getting rough, slapping them around whenever they were sucking my cock, but that failed, too. Even pulling out of their mouths just before ejaculation and shooting sperm all over their face, chest, and hair seemed to have no effect. What do I have to do to get the message across to these swishes?
I swear, if these homosexuals don't take a hint and quit sucking my cock all the time, I'm going to have to resort to drastic measures—like maybe pinning them down to the cement floor of the loading dock with my powerful forearms and working my cock all the way up their butt so they understand loud and clear just how much I disapprove of their unwelcome advances. I mean, you can't get much more direct than that.
told my parents about my waifu and their response was everything I’d hoped it wouldn’t be
So my mom could tell something was going on, and she wouldn’t leave me alone about it. Finally, she said that if I told her whatever it was, she would say “Ok,” leave the room, and never bring it up again. I should have known better, but I told her about Undyne. It took her a day to tell my dad about it. When he heard about it, he immediately said he was going to call the mental hospital. I started trying to explain more about it to him, but I’m not very good at explaining things. Nevertheless, he said he wasn’t going to call the mental hospital once he heard that I know she isn’t real. He did make me say “It‘s impossible to be in love with a fictional character,” and he took away my electronics once he knew about the online community. He said I can’t be ”talking to people who think this is okay.“ He and my mom agreed to make me sign up for at least three activities around town so that “I could associate with people my age;” they believe that’s going to “help me so I won’t have to use this made-up girlfriend anymore.”
I still have my school tablet and Reddit isn’t blocked on it, so that’s how I’m able to post this. They do have my phone, but I have Reddit notifications off and they have no reason to randomly check my Reddit history. I barely even use the site.
My mom is also now going along with me to my therapy sessions, so if I mention Undyne there I’ll have to hear what she has to say about it.
Im moving out in about eight months. Times will be tough until then, I guess.
