Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
i remember in 6th grade public school one of my friends in the class used the word "bungalow" as often as possible and every time he needed to say "house" or "home" he swapped it for "bungalow" and me and the rest of the class thought it was so fucking funny.
so everyone in the class started using it too like saying "I brought my lunch from the bungalow today" or whatever and the teachers HATED IT.
it started getting out of hand when we were learning about the presidents and we often needed to say "the White House" so of course we would say "the White Bungalow" and the teacher was so furious and then there was a ban on the word and if anyone said it they were sent to the office and I remember the kid who started all the bullshit one time got in trouble for something petty like sharing his homework and the teacher said that she was going to call home to him mom and he just stood up and cried out "No, ms! Please don't call home!"
and there was this huge silence because he just raised his voice at the teacher
and then a huge smile spread across his face and he said
"call bungalow instead."
and I swear the whole class rioted it was amazing
to give a little Background Info, i Love watching YouTube Shorts. i Binge watch them all day. on everage, i Spend about 8 hours DAILY watching Shorts, its my guilty pleasure. No one knows about this, as i keep it a good Secret. one day, when i was meant to be at school, i was watching some Shorts, my Mom came in and she was shocked, so i Hid my Phone under my pillow, and told her to leave since i was having a WANKY. i got away With it, but the next day i was around my girlfriends House, i was watching Shorts the whole time and i was so sneaky, she didn't notice. she was trying to make advances at me and Put her Hand on my thigh, i didnt Thing much of it and keept scrolling, after a while she noticed i was watching YouTube Shorts, when i was watching "skibidi toilet 66 - Fan Made" and suddenly my phones valume when Up to the Maximum and she Put her Hand Off my thigh and screamed "ARE YOU WATCHING SKIBIDI TOILET?!". im currently sitting on her porch pooking my eyes Out. im Not Sure If i'll ever be able to Recover from this, but atleast i have skibidi toilet.
"Mauro arrives at La Masia and we are teammates for three or four seasons. In one of them, we shared an apartment. One day he said to me, ‘Sergi, come with me to the park next door,’" the defender began.
"He brought a Y-shaped piece of wood that he had cut the day before, with a rubber band tied to it. He had made himself a homemade slingshot. We went to the park, he pointed to a very tall pine tree and said to me: ‘See up there?’ I could see the pine cones, but he insisted: ‘No, higher up’. And there was a pigeon that you could barely see."
"He grabbed a rock, stretched the rubber and... wham! He knocked the pigeon down from a height of 20 or 30 meters. We went back to La Masía, he removed the feathers, put a wire inside, lit a bonfire and ate it in front of me," he explained with a chuckle. "I remember thinking, 'What's in store for me if we start like that.' But I'm very fond of Mauro. We lived many things together and, if you see him, you'll know that I keep that in my heart."
Its a poem by Vinay Krishnan on Twitter but the author had since put his account on protected mode.
There’s laundry to do and a genocide to stop. There’s laundry to do and a genocide to stop. I have to eat better and also avoid a plague. My rent went up $150. I’ll need to pick up more shifts. Twenty people died in Rafah this morning and every major news outlet is stretching the limits of passive voice to suggest whole families may have leaped up through the air at missiles that otherwise had the right of way. I just got a notification that my student loan payments are starting up again and my phone isn’t charged. My cousin got COVID for a fourth time and can no longer work or walk or even feed himself. The person across from me on the L train seems to fashion themselves a punk rock revolutionary, but they’re not wearing a face mask, and that’s the kind of cognitive dissonance that makes me want to steal batteries. Fascists keep winning the primaries for both parties, and I think I gained a few pounds. The CDC just announced there’s no more speed limits on highways, and I think this Ativan is finally hitting. The NYPD farmer’s market only sells bad apples, have you heard that one? Listen, it’s warm today, too warm for March. But I don’t have time to think through the implications because there’s laundry to do and a genocide to stop.
I met chappell roan recently, and this is my M&G story. I met her August 20th of this year and it was horrific. She was rude, not classy and she lost a long time roany that day. I walked into the $350 M&G and say hello she replies with “fat” and I shook it off because I thought maybe I had heard her wrong. As I approached her and asked to do my pose she stared at me blank faced. I continued talking “you saved my life” I say. “You’re the reason I’m alive today”. She looks me dead in the eye and says “you’ll die soon enough, fatty” and then whispered “obesity”. I started crying I had never felt pain like this and she started laughing and said “are you crying? Stop it. Stop it now” and she flicked my vagina. The photographer took the picture and I headed out of the M&G section and that’s when chaperone started speaking whale to me. I still can’t believe this happened. I cried writing this. I wish this weren’t true but chappy is in fact, a horrible person. Thank you for reading this. And if you don’t believe me ask @azealiabanks, she was there with me.
So the lore is in two branches at first, then goes into one. Let’s begin with branch 1: the Aku-Uka branch.
Thousands of years ago, on N. Sanity Island, there lived two witch doctors: Aku Aku and Uka Uka. One day, they decided to immortalize themselves by placing their spirits into one of their magical wooden masks.
As time went by, Uka Uka grew evil and sinister, even planning to conquer the world. The two brothers had a long war, and eventually, Aku Aku won and managed to seal his brother in Jaws of Darkness. He then lay in hibernation for a good amount of time, and now we get to the second branch: the Cortex branch.
Neo Cortex was born to a family of circus clowns but preferred scientific studies over entertaining others. Due to this, he was mocked by the members of the circus, and at the age of three, a group of performers tattooed an N on his forehead for nerd. One day, Cortex just couldn’t take it anymore and he decided to use his knowledge to enslave the planet’s inhabitants. He caused a freak explosion that killed his whole family, then worked for years on his plan. He hires Dr. Nitrus Brio as his assistant, and together, they make the Evolvo-Ray, a device that can zap animals up the evolutionary chain; as well as the Cortex Vortex, which would brainwash them into doing Cortex’s bidding.
Eventually, the two would set up a base on Cortex Island, which is in the same archipelago as N. Sanity Island. And this is when the two branches come together.
Uka Uka makes contact with Cortex, knowing they have a common goal, and they form an alliance. Anyway, Cortex and Brio create an army of genetically enhanced AND brainwashed animals, and the one to lead them all was Crash Bandicoot. BUT, for some STRANGE REASON, the Cortex Vortex doesn’t work on Crash, and the bandicoot escapes. Cortex’s next subject? Tawna, whom Crash just so happened to take a liking to.
Crash washes ashore on N. Sanity Beach, recollects the recent events, and is very upset about being distanced from his loved one, and awakens Aku Aku from his hibernation. Now Crash has to make it back to Cortex Castle to save his girlfriend, with Aku Aku helping Crash by scattering his magical wooden masks across the island to help him. Crash defeats Papu Papu, the chief of N. Sanity Tribe; Ripper Roo, Koala Kong and Pinstripe Potoroo, three of Cortex’s cronies. Crash sets Castle Cortex on fire while battling N. Brio, Cortex goes plummeting to the ground after Crash defeats him, and the two lovebandicoots reunite. We never see Tawna after this. Papu Papu sells the ruins of Chateau Cortex to a resort developer, and uses the proceeds to open a shopping center on the island, Ripper Roo undergoes higher education, Koala Kong moves to Hollywood, Pinstripe founds a sanitation company in Chicago, N. Brio becomes a bartender, Cortex’s fate is unknown, and peace is restored.
Until Cortex awakens in a cavern filled with crystals, and gets an idea. He hires a NEW assistant, Dr. N. Gin, gets to work on another mutant bandicoot who just so happens to be Crash’s sister, Coco (she escapes BEFORE the Vortex), and builds a new space station. He apparently needs more crystals for his master plan, so when Coco sends Crash to get an extra battery for her laptop, Cortex kidnaps Crash and sends him to get the crystals, claiming that he needs their power to stop a planetary alignment. Brio tells Crash to get the gems instead to foil Cortex’s plans. Crash goes with the crystal path, and Brio is forced to send his minions (former Cortex Commando Ripper Roo, and newcomers Komodo Bros. and Tiny Tiger). But at the end, Coco finds out that he’s gonna make a HUGE Cortex Vortex ray to brainwash Earth, Crash defeats Cortex, gets the gems, Brio destroys Cortex’s space station, and peace is restored.
Until the space station frees Uka Uka. Uka is (understandably) mad at Cortex for failing him twice, but decides to spare his life only because he had just been freed. New plan: get the crystals from different time periods using Dr. N. Tropy’s Time Twister.
Aku Aku notices Uka Uka is free and takes Crash and Coco to the time machine thing. They get the crystals, defeat Tiny (now with Cortex), defeat newcomer Dingodile, defeat N. Tropy, defeat N. Gin, defeat Cortex, defeat Uka Uka, the three bad guys are sucked into an asteroid for 22 years (enough time for Cortex and N. Tropy to age again from their recent baby transformation), peace is restored.
Until Uka Uka’s screaming rips a hole in the space-time continuum. N. Tropy and Cortex cross the rift, uncover the source of its power, and use it to open more rifts to enslave not only the planet’s inhabitants, but the MULTIVERSE’S inhabitants. Their opening of rifts awakens the Quantum Masks, who are scattered around the multiverse. One of them, Lani-Loli, is in N. Sanity Island, and a great power is emanating from N. Sanity Peak now. Aku Aku sends Crash to investigate, and Crash finds Lani-Loli AND a quantum rift. Crash, Aku Aku, Coco and Lani Loli cross the rift, defeat N. Gin, who is now a metalhead; defeat N. Brio that traitor, who ends up turning into a pterosaur; find Akano and Kupuna-Wa, and come across an alternate reality Tawna who is a pirate and therefore way cooler than you. When they defeat Cortex, however, N. Tropy double-crosses Cortex and announces his new plans with a new partner. Seeing that they have a common enemy, Cortex teams up with Crash and co. to take N. Tropy down. They find the last Quantum Mask, Ika-Ika, and make it to N. Tropy’s space station (actually it’s the space station of extraterrestrial racer Nitros Oxide). The new partner is a female N. Tropy who is from Alt Tawna’s universe, Dingodile retired from villainy to open a diner (it was destroyed), he got sucked into quantum rifts and met Alt Tawna, the gang goes to defeat N. Tropy, it is revealed that Female N. Tropy killed Alt Crash and Alt Coco, the N. Tropies are defeated, the gang goes for lunch at the Sn@xx Dimension, Cortex goes back in time to undo Crash, Crash and Coco defeat him, Past Cortex goes on to put Past Crash in the Vortex, Present Crash destroys the Cortex Vortex’s Regulator, the Cortex Vortex doesn’t work on Crash, Present Cortex is sent to the end of the universe, Dingodile reopens his diner, Cortex is enjoying the end of the universe, Crash, Coco, Aku Aku, Alt Tawna and the Quantum Masks now live together, N. Gin abandons heavy metal for smooth jazz, N. Brio is caged in Ripper Roo’s taxidermy display, Nitros Oxide becomes hooked on caffeine, Cortex’s lab assistants repurpose Cortex’s airship into a crystal shop, Dingodile franchises his diner, Alt Tawna takes up scrapbooking, Coco takes up eSports, the N. Tropies’ fates are unknown, all loose ends are tied, nice ending, peace is restored.
Until Uka Uka shows up in the end of the universe
