Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
"Mauro arrives at La Masia and we are teammates for three or four seasons. In one of them, we shared an apartment. One day he said to me, ‘Sergi, come with me to the park next door,’" the defender began.
"He brought a Y-shaped piece of wood that he had cut the day before, with a rubber band tied to it. He had made himself a homemade slingshot. We went to the park, he pointed to a very tall pine tree and said to me: ‘See up there?’ I could see the pine cones, but he insisted: ‘No, higher up’. And there was a pigeon that you could barely see."
"He grabbed a rock, stretched the rubber and... wham! He knocked the pigeon down from a height of 20 or 30 meters. We went back to La Masía, he removed the feathers, put a wire inside, lit a bonfire and ate it in front of me," he explained with a chuckle. "I remember thinking, 'What's in store for me if we start like that.' But I'm very fond of Mauro. We lived many things together and, if you see him, you'll know that I keep that in my heart."
Its a poem by Vinay Krishnan on Twitter but the author had since put his account on protected mode.
There’s laundry to do and a genocide to stop. There’s laundry to do and a genocide to stop. I have to eat better and also avoid a plague. My rent went up $150. I’ll need to pick up more shifts. Twenty people died in Rafah this morning and every major news outlet is stretching the limits of passive voice to suggest whole families may have leaped up through the air at missiles that otherwise had the right of way. I just got a notification that my student loan payments are starting up again and my phone isn’t charged. My cousin got COVID for a fourth time and can no longer work or walk or even feed himself. The person across from me on the L train seems to fashion themselves a punk rock revolutionary, but they’re not wearing a face mask, and that’s the kind of cognitive dissonance that makes me want to steal batteries. Fascists keep winning the primaries for both parties, and I think I gained a few pounds. The CDC just announced there’s no more speed limits on highways, and I think this Ativan is finally hitting. The NYPD farmer’s market only sells bad apples, have you heard that one? Listen, it’s warm today, too warm for March. But I don’t have time to think through the implications because there’s laundry to do and a genocide to stop.
I met chappell roan recently, and this is my M&G story. I met her August 20th of this year and it was horrific. She was rude, not classy and she lost a long time roany that day. I walked into the $350 M&G and say hello she replies with “fat” and I shook it off because I thought maybe I had heard her wrong. As I approached her and asked to do my pose she stared at me blank faced. I continued talking “you saved my life” I say. “You’re the reason I’m alive today”. She looks me dead in the eye and says “you’ll die soon enough, fatty” and then whispered “obesity”. I started crying I had never felt pain like this and she started laughing and said “are you crying? Stop it. Stop it now” and she flicked my vagina. The photographer took the picture and I headed out of the M&G section and that’s when chaperone started speaking whale to me. I still can’t believe this happened. I cried writing this. I wish this weren’t true but chappy is in fact, a horrible person. Thank you for reading this. And if you don’t believe me ask @azealiabanks, she was there with me.
So the lore is in two branches at first, then goes into one. Let’s begin with branch 1: the Aku-Uka branch.
Thousands of years ago, on N. Sanity Island, there lived two witch doctors: Aku Aku and Uka Uka. One day, they decided to immortalize themselves by placing their spirits into one of their magical wooden masks.
As time went by, Uka Uka grew evil and sinister, even planning to conquer the world. The two brothers had a long war, and eventually, Aku Aku won and managed to seal his brother in Jaws of Darkness. He then lay in hibernation for a good amount of time, and now we get to the second branch: the Cortex branch.
Neo Cortex was born to a family of circus clowns but preferred scientific studies over entertaining others. Due to this, he was mocked by the members of the circus, and at the age of three, a group of performers tattooed an N on his forehead for nerd. One day, Cortex just couldn’t take it anymore and he decided to use his knowledge to enslave the planet’s inhabitants. He caused a freak explosion that killed his whole family, then worked for years on his plan. He hires Dr. Nitrus Brio as his assistant, and together, they make the Evolvo-Ray, a device that can zap animals up the evolutionary chain; as well as the Cortex Vortex, which would brainwash them into doing Cortex’s bidding.
Eventually, the two would set up a base on Cortex Island, which is in the same archipelago as N. Sanity Island. And this is when the two branches come together.
Uka Uka makes contact with Cortex, knowing they have a common goal, and they form an alliance. Anyway, Cortex and Brio create an army of genetically enhanced AND brainwashed animals, and the one to lead them all was Crash Bandicoot. BUT, for some STRANGE REASON, the Cortex Vortex doesn’t work on Crash, and the bandicoot escapes. Cortex’s next subject? Tawna, whom Crash just so happened to take a liking to.
Crash washes ashore on N. Sanity Beach, recollects the recent events, and is very upset about being distanced from his loved one, and awakens Aku Aku from his hibernation. Now Crash has to make it back to Cortex Castle to save his girlfriend, with Aku Aku helping Crash by scattering his magical wooden masks across the island to help him. Crash defeats Papu Papu, the chief of N. Sanity Tribe; Ripper Roo, Koala Kong and Pinstripe Potoroo, three of Cortex’s cronies. Crash sets Castle Cortex on fire while battling N. Brio, Cortex goes plummeting to the ground after Crash defeats him, and the two lovebandicoots reunite. We never see Tawna after this. Papu Papu sells the ruins of Chateau Cortex to a resort developer, and uses the proceeds to open a shopping center on the island, Ripper Roo undergoes higher education, Koala Kong moves to Hollywood, Pinstripe founds a sanitation company in Chicago, N. Brio becomes a bartender, Cortex’s fate is unknown, and peace is restored.
Until Cortex awakens in a cavern filled with crystals, and gets an idea. He hires a NEW assistant, Dr. N. Gin, gets to work on another mutant bandicoot who just so happens to be Crash’s sister, Coco (she escapes BEFORE the Vortex), and builds a new space station. He apparently needs more crystals for his master plan, so when Coco sends Crash to get an extra battery for her laptop, Cortex kidnaps Crash and sends him to get the crystals, claiming that he needs their power to stop a planetary alignment. Brio tells Crash to get the gems instead to foil Cortex’s plans. Crash goes with the crystal path, and Brio is forced to send his minions (former Cortex Commando Ripper Roo, and newcomers Komodo Bros. and Tiny Tiger). But at the end, Coco finds out that he’s gonna make a HUGE Cortex Vortex ray to brainwash Earth, Crash defeats Cortex, gets the gems, Brio destroys Cortex’s space station, and peace is restored.
Until the space station frees Uka Uka. Uka is (understandably) mad at Cortex for failing him twice, but decides to spare his life only because he had just been freed. New plan: get the crystals from different time periods using Dr. N. Tropy’s Time Twister.
Aku Aku notices Uka Uka is free and takes Crash and Coco to the time machine thing. They get the crystals, defeat Tiny (now with Cortex), defeat newcomer Dingodile, defeat N. Tropy, defeat N. Gin, defeat Cortex, defeat Uka Uka, the three bad guys are sucked into an asteroid for 22 years (enough time for Cortex and N. Tropy to age again from their recent baby transformation), peace is restored.
Until Uka Uka’s screaming rips a hole in the space-time continuum. N. Tropy and Cortex cross the rift, uncover the source of its power, and use it to open more rifts to enslave not only the planet’s inhabitants, but the MULTIVERSE’S inhabitants. Their opening of rifts awakens the Quantum Masks, who are scattered around the multiverse. One of them, Lani-Loli, is in N. Sanity Island, and a great power is emanating from N. Sanity Peak now. Aku Aku sends Crash to investigate, and Crash finds Lani-Loli AND a quantum rift. Crash, Aku Aku, Coco and Lani Loli cross the rift, defeat N. Gin, who is now a metalhead; defeat N. Brio that traitor, who ends up turning into a pterosaur; find Akano and Kupuna-Wa, and come across an alternate reality Tawna who is a pirate and therefore way cooler than you. When they defeat Cortex, however, N. Tropy double-crosses Cortex and announces his new plans with a new partner. Seeing that they have a common enemy, Cortex teams up with Crash and co. to take N. Tropy down. They find the last Quantum Mask, Ika-Ika, and make it to N. Tropy’s space station (actually it’s the space station of extraterrestrial racer Nitros Oxide). The new partner is a female N. Tropy who is from Alt Tawna’s universe, Dingodile retired from villainy to open a diner (it was destroyed), he got sucked into quantum rifts and met Alt Tawna, the gang goes to defeat N. Tropy, it is revealed that Female N. Tropy killed Alt Crash and Alt Coco, the N. Tropies are defeated, the gang goes for lunch at the Sn@xx Dimension, Cortex goes back in time to undo Crash, Crash and Coco defeat him, Past Cortex goes on to put Past Crash in the Vortex, Present Crash destroys the Cortex Vortex’s Regulator, the Cortex Vortex doesn’t work on Crash, Present Cortex is sent to the end of the universe, Dingodile reopens his diner, Cortex is enjoying the end of the universe, Crash, Coco, Aku Aku, Alt Tawna and the Quantum Masks now live together, N. Gin abandons heavy metal for smooth jazz, N. Brio is caged in Ripper Roo’s taxidermy display, Nitros Oxide becomes hooked on caffeine, Cortex’s lab assistants repurpose Cortex’s airship into a crystal shop, Dingodile franchises his diner, Alt Tawna takes up scrapbooking, Coco takes up eSports, the N. Tropies’ fates are unknown, all loose ends are tied, nice ending, peace is restored.
Until Uka Uka shows up in the end of the universe
I remember at one party when I was a teen, my buddy had a mattress laying in the middle of his basement floor and these three girls we were friends with were getting it on while a bunch of us kinda levitated over and stood around drinking and watching (men and women). It just became a thing where people would come over, converse, watch some sex and then pop off again. It all ended when one of their boyfriends (my bestfriend, the crazy fucker) chucked off all his clothes and literally cannonballed into them, setting them to scatter in all directions crying and soberly yelling what a creep he was, "Brandon! What the fuck you fucking weirdo! Ew!"
I'm a market maker in Wraeclast.
I’ve made thousands of divines, not by slaying Uber bosses or farming juiced maps, but through something more arcane: the currency exchange window. That’s my arena. My battlefield. My trade route. My passion.
While most chase loot explosions, I chase inefficiencies. I scan the chaos-to-divine ratios of many different markets, the soft whispers of shifting demand, and the ebb and flow of liquidity during peak and dead hours. I’ve stood in the breach between hoarders and seekers, offering chaos when no one else will, buying low when despair is in the air, and selling high when greed surges. Some call it flipping. Others call it wicked. But to me, it’s balance. It's structure. It's the invisible hand of Wraeclast.
Yes, I profit. Sometimes absurdly. But I also provide something essential: stability. Liquidity. A way for new players to convert their hundreds of trash catalysts/deli orbs/fossil/essences into piles of chaos at 2 a.m. when there are no sellers. A way for big fish to offload 50 divines worth of commodities when demand is too thin. I’ve bridged both ends of the market countless times. I’ve offered chaos at cost to stabilize a panicking index. I’ve bought out underpriced bulk just to stop the bleeding. I've smoothed over the rough edges of a player-driven economy that’s as volatile as it is beautiful.
Do I lose sometimes? Absolutely. I’ve taken heavy losses on speculative swaps. I’ve misread the market, held too long, or gone too deep into one side. But the thrill isn’t just in the profit. It’s in being a part of something organic. Something bigger. I feel connected. truly connected, to the living world of Wraeclast. Every trade is a conversation. Every price shift tells a story. Every time someone buys my stock, I know I was needed.
It’s funny, there’s no XP for this. No challenge complete. No trophy. Just a quiet satisfaction that, when someone makes a fair trade at the right time, it might have been because I was there on the other side, ready.
I am not a scammer. I don’t post fake ratios. I don’t manipulate with false listings. I play it clean, transparent, and ruthlessly efficient. Because I believe the PoE economy is a shared space, and if we respect it, even while profiting from it, it becomes stronger for everyone. Better price discovery. Better liquidity. More trust. More trades.
And if someone dares to engage in a price war with me? such as undercutting my rates, nibbling at my margins.... I will never hesitate. I WILL fight it to the end. I’ll match, repost with a more competitive ratio, undercut, and absorb the losses if I have to. Let’s see who runs out of gold first. I don’t bluff. I don’t flinch. I’ve weathered more chaos storms than most even see. That exchange window? That’s my home turf.
So this is my confession. not of guilt, but of obsession. I’m addicted not just to the currency itself, but to the dance of it. To being the one who stands in the middle when others flee. To offering value when the market is thin. To helping a stranger finally buy that Headhunter because I offered chaos when no one else would.
Wraeclast is a brutal world. But behind the carnage and corruption, there's an economy that pulses with life. I’m proud to be part of that heartbeat, tho even if I’m just a whisper in the ledger.
May your trades be fair, and your ratios ever in your favor.
