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Storytime

Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.


Princess Little Piddles

    princess little piddles
    Original meme
    My girlfriend has chosen a nickname, out of nowhere, for my penis. She has chosen, for some god forsaken reason, to call it 'princess little piddles'. I have no idea where she got this name but it's not the most manly nickname, and honestly, I don't even have a nickname for it so why should she?? Every time she calls it by her nickname, I feel ashamed!

Am I the asshole for making her stop calling it that? Or should I just let her keep it up? I'm afraid this waking nightmare may never end.

UPDATE: I spoke with my girlfriend regarding this nickname fiasco. She informed me that it was not the princess that was little, it was the piddles that were little. That didn't make me feel much better tho.

I offered another nickname, per another user, "princess big and long piddles" but she said that was a mouthful. We compromised on allowing me to pick a nickname for her penis. Thanks everyone.

    Schrödinger’s NNN

      No Nut November
      I have failed and not failed NNN at the same time.

Last night on October 31st after playing some Call of Duty, I was tired and went to bed. I was pretty sure it was still on October 31st (before 00:00). I stayed in bed for a while and couldn't sleep, losing track of time. I decided to give it a go for one short round and started fapping. I ejaculated a big fat nut all over my shirt. It felt so good. Then I fell asleep.

The next morning (November 1st), I woke up and realized I did not look at the clock when I masturbated, meaning I could've cum in NNN. But there was also a possibility that I hadn't failed NNN. There's no way of knowing an approximate of when I beat my meat as I lost track of time. All I know is that it was around 00:00, so there is a 50/50 chance that I have failed NNN or have not failed NNN. But there is no way of knowing that unless I time travel back to October 31st and look at the time. I am currently in a quantum superposition of NNN. Therefore, I have failed and not failed NNN at the same time.

I have achieved Schrödinger's NNN.

      Its been 24 hours without my roblox girlfriend

        Your average robloxian when roblox is down
        It's been 24 hours without my Roblox girlfriend, I can't go ahead with this any longer. My mental state is in complete and utter pandemonium. I cried myself to sleep 4 times today. I feel paranoid that my roblox girlfriend may never come back. My roblox girlfriend has the only thing that brings me joy in this cruel life for 7 years now and I won't be able to recover mentally or financially if it's gone. I've spent over $7,000 on my Roblox girlfriend this week alone. I even bought $500 worth of robux for my Roblox girlfriend, because I trust my roblox girlfriend. I told my mom through tears and she yelled at me calling me a "failure" and saying she knew she should have been on birth control. Although, My roblox girlfriend being gone has had it's positive impacts on me. My IQ has increased by 40 and I've been thinking more critically. When I saw the last “gtg” message of my roblox girlfriend, i vomited. I just hope she’ll come back, I even started praying again. I've been a dedicated Christian for 12 years and I began to pray to god in hopes that they my Roblox girlfriend will be back soon. I had to learn Arabic to pray to Allah. I hope my Roblox girlfriend comes back soon I don't know how much longer I can take this.

        Roblox Down

          Roblox has been down for more than 24 hours now and the official channels have not yet confirmed when is Roblox coming back online.
          It's been 20 hours without Roblox, I can’t stop shaking and I’m having severe withdrawals. I woke up today trying to log onto Roblox but the site was down, I had a major panic attack but managed to calm down after a few hours. I couldn’t go to school today, and I can barely get out of my bed to do anything. I’m sick to my stomach at this point, life is worthless.
          21 Hour of roblox being down. I think i'm losing my mind. My whole body aches and my limbs are trembling. I feel my bones breaking and i'm in a straight panic attack because i have to go see the scary outside world and the tall green grass. I feel my organs degenerate and i'm losing power. Please, Roblox CEO, put your game back up. I'm dying and in endless eternal pain. I don't think i'm going to make it. How many years?…. Months even has it been without roblox? I still can’t comprehend my only reason of life has been stripped away from me, my body has gone into withdrawal, my hands are currently shaking as I am currently typing this. My brain has no purpose other than to fulfill the duty of playing roblox. What do i do now? I see no purpose of life… There is no purpose of life. I am going to send one final message before I cease to exist. I’m feeling sick to my stomach, my body is sick, my legs are shaking. I’m about to throw up. This is a disease, a mental disorder and disease that has taken my life away, Hope you’re happy now… roblox.
          It's been 24 hours without Roblox. I can't go ahead with this any longer. My mental state is in complete and utter pandemonium. I cried myself to sleep 4 times today. I feel paranoid that Roblox may never come back. Roblox has the only thing that brings me joy in this cruel life for 7 years now and I won't be able to recover mentally or financially if it's gone. I've spent over $7,000 on Roblox this week alone. I even bought $500 worth of Roblox stocks because I trust Roblox. I told my mom through tears and she yelled at me calling me a "failure" and saying she knew she should have been on birth control. Although, Roblox being down has had it's positive impacts on me. My IQ has increased by 40 and I've been thinking more critically. When I saw the "We're making things more awesome. Be back soon" page, I vomited. I just hope they mean it when they say soon. I even started praying again. I've been a dedicated Christian for 12 years and I began to pray to god in hopes that they can bring Roblox back soon. I had to learn Arabic to pray to Allah. I hope Roblox comes back soon I don't know how much longer I can take this.

          Roblox has taken over my sons life

            Roblox is an online game platform and game creation system
            Roblox has taken over my sons life, I need someone here to help me, it started off pretty small, he told me he was into this game called Roblox. I looked it over, seemed nice. That was 5 years ago, now my son has locked himself inside his room, using a pile of roblox toy plastic to guard me from opening it. When he comes out (The 1 time he does a week) he carries 5 bottles of empty soda pop filled with human waste and empty bags of food and throws them away. He will not speak to me, and will not leave the house, only will play Roblox. I've tried it all, but he seems to find a way to play roblox. I tired killing the WiFi but he payed someone in robux to let him have his, so he has his own wifi source, and trying to take away his PC causes him to go into a fit of terror, where he'll scream "ROBLOX ESCAPE THE BOSSBABY RAINBOW OBBY FIGDET SPINNER" until he gets it back please someone tell me how I stop this. I've tried doing a thing I call "Good Robloxian Robux" where I give him Robux when he does good things, like come out of his room, or doesn't use more then 20+ hours of wifi a day but it only works so much please someone tell me how I can get my son back, I miss that boy, he's 25 now, and needs a job

            I installed Linux

              I installed Linux and the feeling of freedom and privacy hit me so hard that I immediately began committing crimes, knowing that the FBI could never track me. Piracy, sexual assault, trademark infringement, petty larceny, tax fraud, you name it. I also own several fully automatic firearms even though I live in the state of California, but it doesn't matter. Ever since I removed Windows 10 from my computer and replaced it with Arch Linux, and began using a PinePhone as my daily driver phone, police can't even stop me in traffic. Windows may have a lot of video games, but the benefits of Linux should not be understated.