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Storytime

Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.

How I was able to get into Harvard as a 16 year old

    How I got into Harvard copypasta
    Many people always ask me how I was able to get into Harvard as a 16 year old who skipped 3 grades of high school. They think I got in because of my scholarly records, but no the key is the interview. As I sat in the Harvard Dean's office in front of the board of reviewers for my application, the Dean asks me "Why should you be a good candidate for this school?" They seemed bored but I replied "Well I was born a child prodigy, placed 1st in my state spelling bee for three consecutive years, I can speak eight different languages not counting Latin, play four different instruments, I skipped grades 4 through 6, and graduated my high school as valedictorian at the age of 14. I then worked as an intern at both Telsa, and NASA." Suddenly the room burst into laughter and many of board instantly started scribbling down "No" near the application check marks. The Dean says "Sorry but you are just not the type we are looking for." But then I said "Excuse me but I wasn't finished... I watch Rick and Morty" The Dean looked at me like an idiot and said "So....?" Then I replied with a smile "And I understand all the references and subtle jokes" An audible gasp let out by the board was so loud the secretary had to come in. You could hear a pin drop and then suddenly all at once the entire board clicked their pens on the "Approved Box" and I was instantly handed a diploma and now I'm teaching advanced physicals there. I guess you can say I'm pretty smart. :)

    This girl showed me her underwear at school and i cant get it out my head

      She was like aye check this out then slightly pulled down her pants, revealing her panties, during class when the teacher wasnt looking. The thrill of seeing something that i am not supposed to be was immaculate and left a big shock to me. now it’s gone to the point where whatever i do, it’s constantly popping back up in my head and is fucking up my life. How can i not think about it?

      I got caught masturbating using my sister’s panties

        NTA, your sister your rules
        Well, Yesterday, I was very horny,I was willing to fuck the vacuum machine but mother was using it, So i sneaked and found some of my sister's used panties, she had taken them off to clean them for later, they smelled bad, but i liked the smell, I took it to my room, and i covered it around my dick and started masturbating, It took me around 13 seconds to cum, But i didnt even feel like i was done, i kept going, but well, my sister walked in on me, I thought of this as the perfect chance for her to join me and we have sex, So i told her "Come here babygirl" , Well she didnt like that and started screaming, my father heard it and he came running, I got beat and then kicked out of the house, Does anyone have an extra room and looking for a roommate? Preferrably a girl

        MY SON ACT LIKE GIRL

          Traps and sissy boys copypasta
          HI GUYS MY NAME IS BOBY D. (AGE 60 BIRTHDAY 1961\05\05 TRUCKER BADASS MAN) I WAS WONDERING WHAT MY KID (AGE 16 2006\03\05 GIRLY SISSY BOY) WAS WATCHING. HE WAS WATCHING SOMETHING THAT LOOKED LIKE WEIRD CARTOON. HE DROPPED PHONE AND LEFT TO BATHROOM. I OPEN PHONE. I THINK I SEE A PENIS GET INSERTED TO A BUTTHOLE. BUT BUTTHOLE HAD A PENIS TOO!!! I GOT SCARED. DID MY SON DEAL WITH SATAN? WAS HE GAY? ?

I LOOKED AT PHONE MORE. HE GOT SMS MESSAGE I THINK AND WHEN I OPENED IT I SEE GAY PORNO WITH SOMEONE DRESSING AS A GIRLT!! I KNEW IT!! I LOOKED AT HIS CLOSET AND SAW WEIRD HAIR AND WEIIRD SCHOLGIRL CLOTHES. DID MY ACT LIKE HE WAS A GIRL!!

MY CANT BE A GIRLY SISSY BOY HE IS MY SON AND HE NEEDS TO BE REAL MAN! !! I GOT VERY ANGRY WHEN HE COME BACK TO ROOM I GAVE HIM AN EXTRA SPANKING TODAY. HE MOANED LIKE GIRL. I LAUGHED BECAUSE OF HOW STUPIOD HE IS. I TOLD HIM HE CRIES LIKE A GIRL AND I TOLD HIM TO BE A MAN THATS RIGHT HE ISNT GOING TO GO FAR IN LIFE WITHOUT TAKING A SPANKING OR TWO

I THINK HE PISS HIS PANTS. HIS PANTS ALL WET HAHAHA. I WILL TELL MY WIFE ABOUT THIS ONCE THAT STUPID BITCH COMES BACK HOME FROM HER STUPID FUCKING JOB WITH THAT WHORE DANIELLA AND MAKES ME SOME FUCKING FOOD AFTER A NIGHT OF HARD TRUCKING AND SPANKING MY STUPID GIRLY SON

WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH SON NOW I ALREADY BEAT HIM AND I WANT TO TAKE HIM TO TRUCKING NEXT DAY SO THAT HE CAN SEE HOW TO BE A REAL MAN BUT SHOULD I DO ANYTHING ELSE

HELP

          I’m an American high school student in 2020.

            American highschool 2020 be like
            I'm an American high school student in 2020. There are multiple school shootings a day. Every teacher is now armed. Veterans patrol the halls on mobility scooters with built-in miniguns. The Algebra 2 teacher is handing out the quiz, her body armor jostling around. I reach into my backpack to take out my calculator. Her M16 is already trained on me. "DON'T FUCKING MOVE." "I-I need my calculator." "THIS IS A NO CALCULATOR QUIZ." "I-I thought I could use my calculator." "YOU THOUGHT WRONG." Tense pause. She lowers her weapon. A school shooter takes this opportunity to snipe her from the back of the room. Her brains splatter all over my face. A second school shooter in the front wheels around with a shotgun, blasting the first shooter because he doesn't want to share the headlines. The cute girl next to me holds up her ballistics shield half a second too late. I try to run for the door. A veteran mobility scooter flies into the room firing 100 rounds a second into my upper torso. As my carcass joins those of my classmates, I die happy knowing that I'm still freer than Europoors. My family gets charged $10m for medical expenses plus tip.

            My penis is too big

              My penis is so large I just cannot lug it around any longer. It is so insanely huge and has caused so many problems in my life. I cannot go to airports as they think I am sneaking something in. so everytime I go, I get groped as they try to take my penis off thinking its a bomb. I cannot pleasure women as they are so horrified at the sight of my cock, that they immediately run away. My mother and father disowned me after seeing the length of my shaft. Not only is it extraordinarily long, it is just too thick. I cannot sexually relieve myself as my hands are just too small to masturbate.

My humongous cock has ruined my life. I resent God for cursing me with this large chunk of meat that just drags across the ground. Doctors tell my I will never be able to get a penis reduction as they would have nowhere to put the penis. It would just take up far too much room.

I had a girlfriend when I was a young lad, she loved me for who I was and did not care for this deformity, but one day... I took off my jeans and my penis flung out, smacking her and flinging her out the window. She died 2 hours later in the hospital. She was the only woman who ever loved me. My penis is just... too ginormous. It has caused problems for myself and the people around me. For this reason, I will be ending it all. My penis has taken over my life... but it cannot take over a life that does not exist.