Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
December 31st 2021 - I sat in my chair furiously masturbating my dick desperate to release gallons of sperm but I resisted the urge and I kept edging for 5 minutes carefully watching the clock on my PC. I waited in anticipation until finally it was 2022. I ejaculated releasing loads and loads of gooey white cum everywhere, I moaned with satisfaction, proud of my achievement.
I had just become the first person to cum in 2022. I look over my cum filled desk and chair with pride.
So all of you can go cry, because none of you will be able to claim my title of first person to cum in 2022. Go wallow in sorrow and self-pity at the fact that you missed the opportunity to ejaculate just when it reached the New Year at midnight. While you subhuman mere mortals are setting of fireworks at midnight, I am blasting a massive explosion of cum everywhere. Oh yes, I am now superior to everyone on the planet, bow down to me, the cum lord of 2022.
Happy new year, losers.
Hello everyone, concerned Christian Father here. My son has recently got into the game called Fortnite? I've spent well over $500 on this game and its becoming a problem. Apparently the game is down right now and its causing a lot distress for my child. He keeps taking my newspaper and tries to "full piece" me. I don't know what this means but I'm starting to think its something associated with the devil. He won't come with us anywhere unless we take a "launch pad" to get there. Its starting to get worse by the hour and I don't know how much longer I can take this. His legs, arms, and hands are shaking violently yet he refuses to take any type of medicine unless its a "big pot" or "chuggies." Someone please help me.
My nuts have detached from my body, I was in my bedroom messing around with my Rias body pillow when all of a sudden one of the broken threads from all the years of intense pickle pounding latched on to my grotesque testicle. It grabbed it with a tremendous force so flabbergasting that it ripped my balls right off. However it is very convenient because now I can fuck my body pillow to my greatest desire without making a mess!
Well me and my boyfriend decided to have sex at my house since my parents are away. We were doing foreplay on for a good 15 minutes..- I was giving him head while he was lying down with his eyes closed. Then all of sudden, my 6.5 ft tall, 290 lbs Great Dane came over and stuck his penis in my vagina from behind. It was the one of the worse experience ever. My Great Dane started humping me and I was just yelling. My BF was just sitting there shocked. He tried to move the dog but the dog would not bulge. Suddenly I felt a sticky warm fluid in my vagina. My Great Dane finally came off and I realized he just finished breeding with me. I sat there shocked, crying and my boyfriend just hugged me. I was so disgusted. I think I may be pregnant and Im so scared. What if my babies have dog heads and human bodies? How do i explain that to my parents? So can I still get pregnant even if my dog camed in it?
I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label:
For Women.
Today I (f, 24, vegan) accidentally ate some chicken ( f, 8 weeks, not vegan) and it made me so angry. Im vegan, and was at Popeyes and asked for a chicken sandwich, but the idiot at the counter didn’t realize that I was vegan just by looking at me (vegan) and understanding my vegan aurora, and sold me (vegan) REAL chicken in my sandwich. I (vegan) realized this and told him (not vegan) that I’m vegan and that I’m going to murder his whole fucking family because I (vegan) believe that animal death and cruelty is bad. He (not vegan) told me (vegan) he (not vegan) was going to call the police, and I (vegan) told him (not vegan) that you can’t do that because I’m vegan and I save lobsters at whole foods on the weekend. The cops (not vegan) arrested me (vegan) and they took all my fucking lobster that I (vegan) heroically saved, and now I (vegan) have no one to talk to (lobsters).
