Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
I have a crazy crush on my classmate. She is the hottest girl I have ever seen, her hair, eyes, smile everything. I don't give a crap what everyone in my school thinks about her, apparently she is the biggest whore and fucks the whole football team every friday after P.E. class. I don't buy it, I'm very sure she only likes me because how cool and mysterious I am. People call me a weirdo and loner, but that's just part of my plan, I haven't spoken to anyone since third grade and I will show them who I am when I glow up after my mom takes me to shopping.
Anyways, I really had an urge when I woke up sweaty and horny in the weekend. I usually masturbate to pornstars that look like her, but this time I wanted something that would satisfy my session. I remember she was the last person to exit out from the boy's locker room after P.E. class, she probably wanted to see me, but I had to hurry home to watch my favorite cartoons. I arrived to school and tried to open the door, but it was locked, ah! Ofcourse! It's saturday. I really had to smell the locker room she visited, I'm 100% sure there's still some scent in there, since she wears a lot of perfume that would last at least a day, so this was my last chance.
I smashed the window open with a rock and hurried to my destination. The alarms went off, but I didn't care, I have to do it I inhaled every single oxygen particle that was there. It was disgusting amount of a mixture of sweat and dirt smell, but I had to have a glimpse of her perfume and finish masturbating, or else I'm not leaving! I didn't smell any of it! I had to lick the whole floor, so I could distinguish her boot's smell. That didn't work too! I ran to the bathroom and found a lipstick! This is a JACKPOT. She applies this to her mouth everyday! I started sucking the lipstick while masturbating and thinking about her. When I was about to ejaculate, I ate the whole lipstick.
It felt like heaven! I ended up fainting and woke up in hospital. The nurse told me, that I was intoxicated, because they found strange chemicals in my stomach, also bunch of cops came to question me, why I broke in and was naked there. I didn't tell them about the lipstick or anything, I just said I was high and didn't know what got to me. I might go to jail for this, but It was worth every single moment.
I had a squirter gf once and dude let me tell you. She would just squirt so fucking much and it legit just felt like she was peeing on me a ton if she were on top.
And dude the fucking bed would get fucked. Sometimes I'd stay up all night cleaning it with peroxide and baking soda and vacuuming up the liquid or laying a fan on it and waiting hours for it to dry.
It was fucked.
It was just so fucking much. An absolute huge lake in my bed.
Well, one time I pissed the bed a little. Don't even know what happened but I peed and I woke up and was very embarrassed and told her and she had the audacity to be disgusted with me about it.
And I'm thinking like, bitch, you've been fucking pissing on me for two years now.
And I ain't never been in to that.
But I let you piss on me out of love and you are gonna shame me because I dreamt I was pissing in a toilet and then pissed the bed ONE TIME.
Fucking wild the nerve on that girl and let me tell you, that cum piss smells weird and if you don't get those blankets washed, oh boy. Gross smell.
But dude, not even a plastic lining helped, it was so much. Went right through.
To this day, I just want to fucking understand why she squirted so much.
It was legit like a waterfall or a broken geyser.
I just want to understand. I straight got PTSD over this. I just wanna learn what was going on with her vagina and where she stored all that liquid.
Keeps me up at night sometimes as I try and figure it out but Google ain't like it used to be.
I am a New Yorker. I wake up at 5am every day of the week in my 50 square foot run down apartment in Harlem where the rent is $9,695,748 per week. When I wake up I see 5 rats on the side of my uncovered kid mattress stealing pizza from my fridge. I disregard my crappy living conditions and start heading for work. Not even 5:10 in the morning and the traffic is as congested as the nose of a protestor enduring tear gas. There are more cars on the road than bills to pay. I squeeze my way to work through constant honking and finally get to my hellish office job in downtown Manhatten at 8pm. I sit in a little cubicle (the one with the pillar) while my boss screams racial slurs at incoming customers. I have to cope with this bullshit, as I was for 23 years in this job with $5 an hour pay and no promotions. After getting home at 6am, I time travel with my yankee hat to 5am as that is the time I wake up. Such is the life of an average New York City resident.
Many people always ask me how I was able to get into Harvard as a 16 year old who skipped 3 grades of high school. They think I got in because of my scholarly records, but no the key is the interview. As I sat in the Harvard Dean's office in front of the board of reviewers for my application, the Dean asks me "Why should you be a good candidate for this school?" They seemed bored but I replied "Well I was born a child prodigy, placed 1st in my state spelling bee for three consecutive years, I can speak eight different languages not counting Latin, play four different instruments, I skipped grades 4 through 6, and graduated my high school as valedictorian at the age of 14. I then worked as an intern at both Telsa, and NASA." Suddenly the room burst into laughter and many of board instantly started scribbling down "No" near the application check marks. The Dean says "Sorry but you are just not the type we are looking for." But then I said "Excuse me but I wasn't finished... I watch Rick and Morty" The Dean looked at me like an idiot and said "So....?" Then I replied with a smile "And I understand all the references and subtle jokes" An audible gasp let out by the board was so loud the secretary had to come in. You could hear a pin drop and then suddenly all at once the entire board clicked their pens on the "Approved Box" and I was instantly handed a diploma and now I'm teaching advanced physicals there. I guess you can say I'm pretty smart. :)
She was like aye check this out then slightly pulled down her pants, revealing her panties, during class when the teacher wasnt looking. The thrill of seeing something that i am not supposed to be was immaculate and left a big shock to me. now it’s gone to the point where whatever i do, it’s constantly popping back up in my head and is fucking up my life. How can i not think about it?
Well, Yesterday, I was very horny,I was willing to fuck the vacuum machine but mother was using it, So i sneaked and found some of my sister's used panties, she had taken them off to clean them for later, they smelled bad, but i liked the smell, I took it to my room, and i covered it around my dick and started masturbating, It took me around 13 seconds to cum, But i didnt even feel like i was done, i kept going, but well, my sister walked in on me, I thought of this as the perfect chance for her to join me and we have sex, So i told her "Come here babygirl" , Well she didnt like that and started screaming, my father heard it and he came running, I got beat and then kicked out of the house, Does anyone have an extra room and looking for a roommate? Preferrably a girl
