Copypasta of a person’s past experience or events that is so absurd it became a meme of its own. Usually untrue stories that tries to circle jerk opinions.
Teenager allegedly masturbated a jaw-dropping 56 times non-stop before dying of a heart attack, in the process, even breaking the world record and was awarded a world record certificate by a Guinness representative who later arrived at the home.
Jerome Carpenter was found dead in his bedroom after apparently masturbating too much. It is speculated that Jerome was suffering from depression due to being “extremely lonely”.
Jerome’s mother called Portland police after discovering his corpse in his room. Jerome’s mother told Huzlers reporters “one hour passed since I had called him down for lunch, Jerome was the kind of boy to steal food off your plate when you were not looking, I knew something was wrong when he didn’t come down to eat, he was a great kid,” she finished as she began to cry.
Police arrived at the home about an hour after Ms. Carpenter called them. Officer Dean Marrow told Huzler reporters what they saw when they opened Jerome’s bedroom door. “The young man was on his bed… his penis was detached from his body, it must have been so intense it just came off his body, we found his penis gripped in his left hand so tightly we couldn’t get it out, it was tragic.”
Investigators are still investigating the case for more information. Jerome’s funeral will take place sometime next week.
Hoje era dia de apresentar um trabalho de português e bem quando chegou na minha hora, O MEU PINTO ESTAVA DURO, serio, era muito notável o meu pinto coladinho na calça pois eu estava com uma calça antiga, além da cueca larga que não ajudou em nada, então era quase impossível não perceberem meu pinto duro, eu também nem sei porque meu pinto estava duro, só simplesmente estava, então vim aqui compartilhar duas técnicas de como deixar o pinto mole.
A primeira técnica para deixar o pinto mole pode ser simplesmente ser broxa, talvez sendo broxa você nunca ira passar por dificuldades como esta que eu acabei passando.
O segundo é usar da ciência ao seu favor, pois, como o pinto fica duro apenas pelo fato de haver uma concentração de circulação de sangue nele, podemos fazer abdominais de perna simples para a concentração de sangue sair do seu pinto, e focar mais na região de suas pernas, assim ele ficando molinho
Espero que tenha ajudado vocês após meses procurando por essa resposta e não passar vergonha na frente de seus colegas (a não ser que você haja um pênis grande, dai você acaba impressionando as gatas, o que não é meu caso)
Translated to EN
Today was the day to present a Portuguese assignment and just when my time came, MY DICK WAS HARD, seriously, my dick stuck to my pants was very noticeable because I was wearing old pants, in addition to the baggy underwear that didn't help nothing, so it was almost impossible not to notice my hard dick, I also don't know why my dick was hard, it just was, so I came here to share two techniques on how to make my dick soft.
The first technique to make the dick soft can be simply being a jerk, maybe being a jerk you will never go through difficulties like the one I ended up going through.
The second is to use science to your advantage, because as the dick gets hard just because there is a concentration of blood circulation in it, we can do simple leg crunches for the concentration of blood to come out of your dick, and focus more on the region of his legs, so he gets soft
I hope it helped you after months of searching for this answer and not embarrassing yourself in front of your colleagues (unless you have a big penis, then you end up impressing the babes, which is not my case)
The wank that could've saved it all.
My friend, Known as pino was developing a game. He was REALLY REALLY in the mood. But he didnt have time to do his little buisness. So instead he resorted to going on his roblox studio game. and adding explicit innapropriate models to his little racing game. He added a maid girl into the burger king, to simulate the guest he added known as "Guest 1337" to mate with the maid girl. He Jacked to it but it wasnt enough, So instead he added a Tree house where he simulated an orgy. He loved it and He Exploded. A few hours later he decided to release his Racing game known as "Initial Pino". Pino forgot about the Innaproproiate lewd and disgusting models. Thus the Roblox police came and knocked down his Roblox Sex Compound. Pino was arested and sentenced to Account deleted for "Your account has been deleted for creating, promoting, or participating in "inappropriate behavior or content. This is a violation of our terms of use". Thus his account gone to ashes. Thousands of Dollars gone to waste. Burned for no use. This is the story of my friend pino who got his account terminated.
Moral of the story:
Before you develop your game and you're in the mood Bust it or you'll end up like pino and regret it
Stay safe out there.
Vladimir Putin had a private screening of Morbius at the Kremlin. Rumor has it when he walked out, he burst into tears, called up his top generals, and ordered a full withdrawal of Russian troops from Ukraine. He then flew to Kyiv and personally signed a peace treaty with Volodymyr Zelenskyy, pledging the Russian ruble equivalent of $500 billion to the Ukrainian people to help repair damages caused by the war. When asked why he had this sudden change of heart, Putin responded “I have encountered the Morb, and he has Morbed in my heart. I now believe we must all allow ourselves to be Morbed for the sake of world peace.”
I was only nine years old. I loved Morbius so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Morbius every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Morbius is love", I would say, “Morbius is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Morbius. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Morbius. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, “It’s morbin time". He grabs me with his powerful morby hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Morbius. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Morbius. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Morbius. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Morbius looks him straight in the eye, and says, "Get morbed". Morbius leaves through my window. Morbius is love. Morbius is life.
Okay I don’t know if this is actually incest since it wasn’t something actually sexual in the technical sense but her go’s
When I was little my mom used to put a buttplug in me (which she called a poop plug) and I’d wear it all the time I was told only to take it out to poop wipe my ass then put it back in
I was really young so I thought this was just something everybody did but one time at school I dropped it when I flushed the toilet and it ended up getting flushed so when I went back to class I told my teacher that my poop plug got flushed down the toilet she had no idea what I was talking about so she sent me to the school nurse
Well after trying to explain what a poop plug was for 15 minutes the school calls the police the police ask me all these questions and at first I’m scared because I think I’m in trouble for losing my poop plug Turns out my mom has schizophrenia and was making me wear this buttplug so satan wouldn’t stick his cock in my pooper and make me gay.
