I hope your pillow is warm on both sides, beer is always flat, your car gets the check engine light but when you go to fix it it goes away, your steak is always dry, you bread breaks when you try to spread butter on it, your cereal is always soggy, your food always takes forever at a restaurant, the left side of your headphones is slightly quieter than the right, and your tv remote goes missing
i hope your phone charger only works at a specific angle. I hope your favorite show gets canceled right before the finale. I hope your pillow is always warm on both sides. I hope you always get stuck behind someone walking slowly and aimlessly. I hope your favorite pen runs out halfway through something important. I hope every soda you drink is flat. I hope you always bite the inside of your cheek right after it heals. I hope your socks are always slightly damp.. I hope you always itch in a spot you can’t reach. I hope your ice cream always melts too fast. I hope your shoelaces always come untied. I hope every time you sneeze, someone says “bless you” two seconds too late. I hope your autocorrect always changes your words to something embarrassing. I hope your favorite song gets stuck in your head but you only remember one line. I hope your favorite mug gets chipped just enough to be annoying but not enough to throw away. I hope you always spill just a little bit of coffee on yourself. I hope your toast always lands butter side down. I hope you always get notifications just as you fall asleep. I hope you always forget why you walked into a room. I hope the person in front of you at every drive-thru orders for 12 people. I hope every vending machine eats your money. I hope every hoodie you wear has the strings uneven. I hope you always get the squeaky shopping cart. I hope your shampoo bottle always has just a little too much left to throw out. I hope your battery dies every time you're 1% away from saving your progress. I hope you always miss the skip ad button by 0.0005 cm. I hope your popcorn burns in the microwave every time. I hope your Netflix always buffers at the good parts. I hope your neighbors practice tap dance at 3 a.m. I hope every pair of earbuds you own gets tangled instantly. I hope you always stub your pinky toe on furniture. I hope your packages always arrive one day after you needed them. I hope your pizza is always just slightly undercooked
I hate Tomb Kings. I hate them. I hate their dusty faces. I hate their bones. I hate their chariots. I hate when the chariots are next to the bones and I hate when the bones are next to the chariots.
I hate that Settra the Imperishable is somehow everywhere at once. I killed him. I watched him die. He disagreed.
I hate that “pulls 2280 of them out of his scaly asshole” energy but now it’s just skeletons crawling out of the sand like someone kicked over an anthill in Nehekhara and High Queen Khalida is standing there judging me for it.
I hate their armies. I hate that the game says I have a 50-50 chance of victory. This is a lie. This is propaganda. I have twenty units of men with hopes and dreams. They have twenty units of unpaid interns held together by curses and resentment, personally supervised by Grand Hierophant Khatep who will not stay dead.
I hate that killing them does nothing. I kill them. They come back. I kill them again. They come back again. I have personally slain the same skeleton nineteen times. He is gaining experience. I think Arkhan the Black promoted him.
I hate their economy. I hate that they pay zero upkeep. Zero. I am bankrupt after recruiting three units and a dog. They are fielding four full stacks funded entirely by vibes, ancient grudges, and whatever pyramid scheme Settra the Imperishable is running this century.
I hate their constructs. I hate their giant statues. I hate their bone titans. I hate that a walking museum exhibit the size of a house just stepped on my elite infantry like they were decorative gravel while Arkhan the Black casts something illegal from three provinces away.
I hate their magic. I hate that some dried-out king who hasn’t had moisture since the Bronze Age is casting spells like he just discovered fire. I hate that every spell somehow resurrects more skeletons. Stop coming back. Khatep, this is your fault.
I hate their morale. I hate that they don’t have any. You cannot rout something that died three thousand years ago. You cannot break what is already broken. You can only delay the inevitable inconvenience while Khalida politely refuses to acknowledge the concept of fear.
I hate that surrounding them does nothing. I hate that flanking them does nothing. I hate that burning them does nothing. They do not care. They are bones. They have transcended caring. Settra has transcended everything, including consequences.
I hate that while I am writing this, another army has emerged from the sand behind me. I did not see it spawn. I did not hear it approach. It simply was. I assume Arkhan the Black is responsible.
I hate Tomb Kings.
Nah it's way easier to get the traffic mod so you can spend 6 hours micromanaging the every single intersection in the city, only to come to the conclusion that actually you do need another lane and a different layout entirely so you set up the incinerators you just unlocked and max out your garbage budget because you can't destroy landfills without emptying them first and you need them gone because their placement is going to fuck over your new design, then you level the entire industrial section of your city and rebuild it with your new design but you spent way too much money so once you hit play you quickly go into massive debt since you're hemorrhaging money on infrastructure maintenance and the newly built area isn't filled with tax payers yet so you take out a loan to pay for upgrades elsewhere in the city to calm down the growing unrest amongst the populace and then sit patiently as the new area fills, your tax revenue stabilizes and you slowly regain liquidity but watch as your new HyperEfficient™ grid system is causing worse traffic everywhere else and particularly at choke point intersections that you built early on and you start angrily ruminating on the fact that you'll have to overhaul the rest of the city, which sucks because you had only done your industrial zone since the trailers, buses, and trash trucks where clogging everything up and that's only like 25% of the city and then you realize that when you level the residential zones you won't have the populace to support your industry so your tax problems will be even worse as understaffed business start shuttering so you spend a couple more hours trying to rework the choke point intersections before coming to the conclusion that you just should've been smarter when you started so you close the game because it's already 3am, determined to start anew tomorrow with all you've learned but you're actually really burnt out now so you don't open the game again for another 3 months.
Anyways: dope game, highly recommend!
Its an old joke within the music production community about whether using loops and samples are cheating. Apparently it came from Splice (music creation platform) on Facebook back in 2014.
I thought using loops was cheating, so I programmed my own using samples. I then thought using samples was cheating, so I recorded real drums. I then thought that programming it was cheating, so I learned to play drums for real. I then thought using bought drums was cheating, so I learned to make my own. I then thought using premade skins was cheating, so I killed a goat and skinned it. I then thought that that was cheating too, so I grew my own goat from a baby goat. I also think that is cheating, but I’m not sure where to go from here. I haven’t made any music lately, what with the goat farming and all.
AKA the ‘Apology for bad english’ is a troll text of a person apologizing for their bad english but written in the most verbose and pretentious manner. There are multiple variations of said copypasta.
Before I begin my actual comment, I would like to apologize in advance for my inadequate level of English proficiency. I am not a native speaker of the world's current lingua franca which unfortunately leads to me making numerous embarrassing mistakes being made whenever I attempt to communicate using this language. Whenever I am reminded of how I lack the ability to convey my thoughts in an eloquent manner I feel as though I have committed a cardinal sin, as though every English teacher in the world are simultaneously shaking their heads and sighing due to how utterly disappointed they are at me.
Although I know that saying sorry to those of you who are reading my comment will not change the fact that I fail miserably to write and speak perfect English, I am writing this as a way to deter a certain type of people who cannot stand poor English (Also known informally as "Grammar Nazis") from mocking me by posting unwanted and unnecessary comments detailing my every blunder. In my humble opinion, making grammatical errors should be perfectly acceptable as native speakers should not expect non-native speakers to be able to communicate in their second or third languages eloquently. If you are able to completely understand what the other person wrote, is there really a problem with what they've written? No, because the entire concept of communication is the exchange of information between other intelligent beings, which means that no matter how the exchange of information is made, as long as the information is accurately shared there is not a fundamental issue with their ability to communicate. To see it in another way, remember that someone who isn't fluent in English is fluent in another language. When you think about it this way, isn't it impressive for someone to speak a second language in any capacity? Having empathy and respect are qualities that are sorely missing for far too many people these days, especially on the internet.
That being said, I am aware that not all netizens who correct others are doing it to ridicule and shame. There are some who do so with the intent to help others improve and grow. However, displaying the failures of other people publicly will cause the person who is criticized to feel negative emotions such as shame and sadness due to the fact that their mistake has been made obvious which severely undermines the point they were trying to make in spite of their unfamiliarity with the English language. In most circumstances people are not looking for language help when they post anything online. Most people just want to enjoy themselves and have a good time on the internet which is why I would not encourage correcting other people regardless of your intentions. If you really do want to help others with their spelling or grammar, I would highly recommend you to help via messaging privately because not only will you not embarrass anyone, you can also go more in-depth with your explanation which I'm sure the other person will greatly appreciate if they want help, but I digress. I know that I've written a bit of an essay, but I hope I've made my points clear. Anyways, here is the comment I wanted to make:
Lol
Hi. (I apologize for my bad English)
Hi. (I apologize for my bad English. I'm still learning and trying to improve my language skills. Sometimes, I might make mistakes or choose the wrong words, but I hope you can understand what I'm trying to say. Your understanding and patience mean a lot to me as I navigate through this learning process. Learning a new language can be quite challenging, and English, with its many rules and exceptions, is no different. I often find myself struggling with grammar and vocabulary, which can lead to confusion or miscommunication. Despite these challenges, I'm committed to improving and becoming more fluent. Every conversation I have is an opportunity to learn and grow. I appreciate your willingness to engage with me and correct my mistakes when necessary. Your feedback helps me identify areas where I need to focus more and provides me with the motivation to keep going. Sometimes, I feel a bit embarrassed when I make errors, but I remind myself that making mistakes is a natural part of the learning process. Each error is a stepping stone toward better understanding and proficiency. I hope you can see my efforts and the progress I'm making, even if it's gradual. Your support means a lot to me. It makes a big difference when someone is patient and understanding rather than critical. It encourages me to keep practicing and not give up, even when it feels difficult. Knowing that you are willing to help makes this journey a lot easier. Thank you for your patience and support. I hope that as I continue to practice, my English will improve, and our conversations will become smoother. Until then, I ask for your understanding and kindness as I work towards mastering this language.)
By u/No_Capital1979, its the ‘Own a musket for home defense’ copypasta but changed to WSTR Shotgun from Marathon.
I own a WSTR Combat Shotgun for home defense, since that's what the colonists intended. Three runners break into my house. "What the phor?" As I grab my Arachne contract and WSTR. Blow a Trax-Seed sized hole through the triage, he's dead on the spot. Draw my Magnum on the second man, miss him entirely because it's iron sights and nails the Rook two rooms over. I have to resort to the Demolition HMG mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with prestige mods, "In Death We’ve Just Begun." the heavy rounds shred the Destroyer in the blast, the sound and extra rounds set off lockbox alarms. Ready my knife and charge the last terrified Vandal. She Bleeds out waiting on the UESC to arrive since melee attacks shred your health and shields. Just as the colonists intended.
