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Copypasta of absurd and over the top replies in any discussion that became a meme of their own. Such as Navy Seals and UwU what’s this copyapsta.

Dear Guy Who Just Made My Burrito

    The burrito copypasta by Jack Dire
    source

    AKA the Burrito copypasta was written by Jack Dire and is a fictional rant on the person who’ve made his burrito.

    Have you ever been to Earth? On Earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain: You’re an idiot. Let me further explain: Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layers lengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern. Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY. When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito. And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what: Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND. Nope. Nope. My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND ME FOR A FEW MINUTES UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET. You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers. And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE. What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN. I just want a burrito. In conclusion: You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys. UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”: A fucking fork? I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD. If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER. That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL. Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS. A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now. People eat burritos with forks? God is sorry he made us.

    Original formatting

    Have you ever been to earth ?

On earth, we use the word "burrito" to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layers lengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND ME FOR A FEW MINUTES UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

in conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

    Here is how Capitalism is comparable to My Wife Leaving Me

      Here is how Capitalism is comparable to My Wife Leaving Me

First of all, my wife is gone (I miss her very much). Similarly in Captalism the “Surplus Value” of the “Workers” is gone (Marx Reference). Additionally we see a very bureaucratic system with middle management jobs that don’t really need to be done in Captliksm, likewise I had to spend my Monday signing “Divorce Paper” instead of going fishing with the guys. Finally, in capitulatistic society every person is atomized (“Osmosis Jones” Reference) and part of a larger ‘spectacle’ as Debord observes . On the other hand my wife made quite a “spectacle” of herself when she screamed at me for two hours about perceived failings in our relationship. (I thought it was fine)

Hopefully we can one day start a “Revolution” to defeat this oppressive system. I have personally arranged an “Anti-Capitalist Fishing Trip” with the guys in which each fish we catch will be equally shared.

      I own an M1 Abrams for base defense, just as the Founding Fathers intended

        Own an M1 Abrams for home defense

        Its the “Own a musket for home defense” copypasta but changed to tanks.

        I own an M1 Abrams for base defense, just as the Founding Fathers intended!

4 T-90s break into my hangar.

I yell “What the devil?!” As I grab my composite helmet and an M829A1 round.

I blow a golf ball sized hole in the first T-90, they explode on the spot.

I fire HEAT-FS at the second T-90, and it misses because the T-90 dodged and nails the Warrior IFV next door.

I load an experimental APFSDS round and yell “Tally Ho, lads!” It over-penetrates the first T-90 and destroys the other right behind it, the sound and shrapnel sound off base alarms.

I fix the engineering dozer and charge the last terrified T-90, flipping it into a ditch. The tank runs out of gas while waiting for the MPs to arrive because the crew’s shock is impossible to treat.

Just as the Founding Fathers intended.

        Joe Rogan is like some barbarian Khan

          Joe Rogan is like Khan copypasta

          Its from a 4chan post describing Joe Rogan’s podcast during the height of his popularity. The copypasta is often use as an ironic joke whenever Joe makes a bad take.

          Joe Rogan is like some barbarian Khan from the steppes that took an interest in intellectual things and his podcast is basically him bringing slightly nervous scholars and magicians to come before him to explain how the world works “glasses man, you explain to Joe why sky big, and how tree grow” but he will also believe almost anything you tell him, and only recently (in the past few years) does he clap back like “Tiny hat man say otherwise, do you lie to Joe? tiny hat man safe fat not bad for you, that sugar is enemy, so which is truth? Joe thinks you are wrong” and people just nervously go “oh-oh ok h-Haha yeah i guess so”

“Joe spend many moons on horseback and training with bow and arrow, but Joe also wonder why skyfire rise from mountains every morning, you will explain this to Joe”
          Joe Rogan is like some barbarian Khan from the steppes that took an interest in intellectual things and his show is basically him bringing slightly nervous scholars and magicians to come before him to explain how the world works “glasses man, you explain to Joe why sky big, and how tree grow” but he will also believe almost anything you tell him, and only recently (in the past few years) does he clap back like “Tiny hat man say otherwise, do you lie to Joe? Tiny hat man say fat not bad for you, that sugar is enemy, so which is truth? Joe thinks you are wrong” and people just nervously go “oh-oh ok h-Haha yah I guess so” “Joe spend many moons on horseback and training with bow and sword, but joe also wonder why skyfire rise from mountains every morning, you will explain this to Joe.”

          Dondozo copypasta 常年玩dondozo的人

            Dodonzo

            Best known as the Chinese Dondozo copypasta its actually an insult or hate towards players who play Dondozo in competitive Pokemon.

            常年玩dondozo的人大都目光呆滞，极度自卑，且智商逐年下降，最后完全沦为傻子。玩dondozo会破坏身体结构，引发各种不治之症。人一旦开始玩dondozo就说明这个人的智慧品行样貌通通都是下等，这辈子只能在阴沟里苟延残喘。玩dondozo的玩家具有强烈的反社会倾向，对治安稳定造成破坏危害正常人的生命。

            Translated to EN

            Most people who play dondozo all year round have dull eyes, extremely low self-esteem, and their IQs decrease year by year, and finally become complete fools. Playing dondozo can damage the body structure and cause various incurable diseases. Once a person starts playing dondozo, it means that his intelligence, conduct, and appearance are all inferior, and he can only live in the gutter for the rest of his life. Players who play dondozo have strong anti-social tendencies, causing damage to public security and stability and endangering the lives of normal people.

            The Zamazenta spam needs to stop

              Stunfisk rants about Zamazenta meta in competitive Pokemon
              source
              I can't fucking take it anymore. This pokemon needs to be fucking gone. EVERY GOD FORSAKEN GAME HAS ZAMAZENTA. Out of your 6 pokemon, you need like 3 dudes just to beat one dog. It's too bulky to be killed by most special moves, even some that are super-effective, and its blistering speed allows it to get Iron Defenses so fast your head will spin. preventing any physical attacker from KOing it. This doesn't even address the fact that its uninvested attack stat allows it to bypass should-be counters with coverage. There's such a small selection of things that actually beat it one on one that it's so goddamn frustrating.

How is it that all the ban conversations I hear are about Darkrai, Kyurem, and Raging Bolt when all of these pokemon straight up lose to this dumb dog? "Oh, Kyurem runs a mixed coverage set that has loaded dice, icicle spear, and scale shot, that's the real problem!" Those pokemon at least have counter-play. I'd rather play against Unaware Dozo Clod Clef stall every matchup than play against one more drooling ladder player with that dumb Iron defense set where I have to guess if it has Heavy Slam to beat my Fairy type, Crunch to beat my ghost, or fucking Stone Edge to beat my Moltres. This all ignores the fact that no pokemon abuses Tera half as well as this obese bitch. Oh, how quaint, your Valiant outspeeds and has super effective moonblast? Tera Fire Iron Defense go brrrrrrrr. Don't even get me started on those Life Orb attacker sets that have been popping up.

It's enabled the most obnoxious, low IQ teambuilding. Now every damn team is Zama + Glowking + Twave spam. How is one team style running the meta healthy? How is it that Stall sucks? Why I am I running into niche pokemon picks that are chosen just to beat one pokemon, and how come it's never enough? Did everyone forget how boring Gen 8 was? Are we all content to go back to that, where the fat legendary comes in and wins you the game?

Everyday we stray further from Arceus and the beloved Son he sacrificed 'pon the cross, and when the day of reckoning comes, we will all deserve the damnation he will bring upon us. Do you think the creator of everything is happy when he looks at OU and sees that they unbanned this stupid boxart so that everyone can click Iron Defense in unison? Thou shalt not worship false swipe idols.

Zamzenta needs a suspect yesterday. If I'm wrong and the people choose to keep his dumbass in, fine, whatever, but there at least needs to be a vote. This isn't healthy or fun. It's macabre, sick, twisted, and perverse. If there's any justice in this world, the Holy Smogon council will take swift action against this monster, and we'll be better off for it.