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Its an old classic copypasta that first appeared in the VG Resource forum back in 2010. The full version actually had a YT link playing a sad violin song before you read the rest of the pasta.

Imagine this. You are attracted to women, like you are now (emotionally and sexually), but they do not exist. They existed a long time ago, and no one knows what they looked like (They have a pretty good idea from the fossils, however), but they do not exist anymore. That means, not only do you know there will never be any possibility of you having sex with one, but there’s not even a possibility of you ever seeing one in real life. Everyone else, however, except for a very few, are not attracted to women, they are attracted to something else entirely. So in other words, you will never find any porn anywhere on the internet, only non-sexual pictures of women. Everyone you have told about your attraction to women think it’s disgusting. To relieve yourself, you get off on the non-sexual pictures of women, knowing it will never get any better.

That’s what life is like to me.

I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don’t even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true. Life is like hell to me. I will never know true love. 

Full version

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIuotFZnBtk

Imagine this. You are attracted to women, like you are now (emotionally and sexually), but they do not exist. They existed a long time ago, and no one knows what they looked like (They have a pretty good idea from the fossils, however), but they do not exist anymore. That means, not only do you know there will never be any possibility of you having sex with one, but there’s not even a possibility of you ever seeing one in real life. Everyone else, however, except for a very few, are not attracted to women, they are attracted to something else entirely. So in other words, you will never find any porn anywhere on the internet, only non-sexual pictures of women. Everyone you have told about your attraction to women think it’s disgusting. To relieve yourself, you get off on the non-sexual pictures of women, knowing it will never get any better.

That’s what life is like to me.

I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don’t even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true. Life is like hell to me. I will never know true love. 

Its the Fubuki glasses copypasta but changed to rice.

Don't you think rice is a versatile ingredient? First, you can serve rice as a staple and pair it alongside any kind of stir-fry, or add a raw egg and sprinkle some furikake and soy sauce over the top, or fry an egg and add some chicken and while you're munching away you can say, "Haha, oyakodon!" That's just way too delicious! Also, rice with any kind of broth! I really like it when you boil it down into a porridge and top it with some peanuts or a soft-boiled egg, or you can just add some water to your rice pot after making rice and boil it to bring out the golden crisps from the bottom! You can even add rice to soup to make it more filling! I think it's really cool how you can serve it either hot or cold, it's just such a versatile food. I mean sometimes you just have to have something while you're on the go, so any kind of rice ball is perfect for that role! Or maybe you want to stuff it in some tofu skin or just munch in a nori roll! Or maybe you need to be fancy and celebrate an occasion, so you serve it alongside fish as sushi! Or maybe you want to make some sweets so you make rice flour and use that to make dango or mochi! I really like how it can fulfill all those abstract needs. Being able to switch up the styles and toppings of rice based on your mood is a lot of fun too! It's actually so much fun! And you can even use old rice to make a whole 'nother meal out of leftovers by frying them all together in a wok! It's like you're enjoying all these kinds of foods at a buffet. We really need rice to become a staple on Rhodes Island and start growing it in our ALL of hydroponic gardens. Don't. You. Think. We. Really. Need. To. Officially. Give. Everyone. Rice?