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Reddit

Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.

“Communism rules!”

    a rare glimpse of a redditor spotted irl 
    "Communism rules!" he posts on Reddit on his $2000 MacBook Pro while playing Clash of Clans on a $1000 iPhone, stopping only to drink an $8 Frappelini Mochano Machiatto at Starbucks which provides free Wi-Fi utilizing privately-owned infrastructure at their own expense. A drip of coffee spills onto their $500 Ambercrombie and Fitch exclusive clothing. The Redditor is triggered; the pain of this PTSD-afflicting incident can only be resolved by downvoting every post on T_D and CringeAnarchy. Now calmed down, the Redditor makes a quick stop to the local hospital. He orders his 2 inch dick lopped off. For $10000, he is now the girl he always wanted to be. Thankfully, she had insurance due to Obamacare, so it wasn't her money that was spent. Later it goes to the bank. "I'd like a $20000 student loan." All of it goes to Bernie's campaign. Match them.

    This is a family-friendly subreddit

      y'all remember Leafy?
      Sorry to be bothering you but could you do without the profanities? This is a family-friendly subreddit. Every Monday evening me, my grandmother and my little brother browse this subreddit and whatnot. It's very awkward to encounter these bad words while sitting with my family.

      a comment from r/atheism

        r/atheism are basically cringe lords
        Yeah, I once meet this really cool japanese lady who had a lot of money and would visit Hawaii a lot where I lived. We meet randomly and really enjoyed each othe and went on a few dates. Found out she was a christian and I just kinda stopped caring. Some shit happened and I wasn't able to meet up at an agreed upon time and she did not respond to my call afterward. Never made any effort past that to fix things since she was a christian. I think about her sometimes and wonder how things would have been and then I think about her being christian and I'm like ehhh oh well.

        TIFU by masturbating to my crush in class

          POV you just came in class
          So this happend 2 months ago and I am still super embarrassed and suicidal since then.

Okay so, I was in class and my crush was called to solve a problem on the board.

Since nobody could see me, I whipped out my schlong and started jerking.

But the problem was when I came.

When I came, it was so hard it made a loud sound. Everyone looked at me. I was ashamed and killed myself right as I went to the bathroom.
1

          minecraft good, fortnite bad

            if you say fornite good I'll shoot you
            Steps up to mic, straightens tie, clears throat, taps mic. "This thing on?" Murmurs of assent. Clears throat again. "Minecraft good." The crowd excitedly begins to talk amongst themselves, many holding bated breath. "Fortnite..." A hush falls over the crowd, rapt attention held. "Bad." Suddenly, the crowd goes wild, screaming their praise, running over each other to hug a loved one. Whistles of elation are heard and many are seen sobbing. World peace is enacted in acknowledgement to this monumental speech that knit the world together.