Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.
Ok so I live next door to an older couple and their mid-twenties (I think) son. I work from home, so I'm based in the office in my attic. We've lived here for 6 years and it has always been fine, up until recently when I think they've had a house move around and now it seems the son has his bedroom in their attic which is directly next to where I'm sat. We have extremely thin walls, and I think the son works from home too. The problem is, he doesn't seem to actually do any work, he just spends the majority of the working day shaking hands with the milkman. Spanking the monkey. Battling the purple headed yoghurt slinger. Tugging the slug. I can hear EVERY fucking moan and stroke, and I even know his porn preferences because I can hear every sound and word (Older women with a sprinkling of hentai). It has gotten to the point where I can't bring my kids upstairs during the day because they keep asking me what that strange noise is and I'm running out of lies to tell. So good neighbour, on the extremely small chance you're reading this, STOP SPENDING YOUR ENTIRE DAY STROKING THE VEIN CANE AND DO SOME FUCKING WORK!
my girlfriend won't peg me. She says i'm gay. First, I am 100% straight, but I just want to be bent over have someone behind me pounding away. I want her to do that. Is it gay to want to be pegged?
EVIL pro tip: invite your friends to a sleepover and specify that you have enough sleeping accommodations for everyone then when they arrive be like "yeah all the other beds disappeared like ghosts" so everyone has to sleep in this one massive bed but it's really more like 3 california king beds attached at the sides and all your friends reluctantly accept and spread a rumor to different random people that you and x friend slept together (technically true) to cause chaos. once the rumor has reached a sufficient number of people such that your other friends are discussing the rumors like the climax of an episode of a mediocre sitcom, propose to all of your friends at once then immediately say lol get fucked and ride away on your motorbike, never to be seen again
So a month ago I went on a little trip to spain. On the way back out plane had to stop in Italy for 2 hours. I managed to shit once in spain, once in Italy and once in my home country upon arrival, so I managed to shit in 3 different countries in the span of 12 hours. Is this an accomplishment? Of course I won't put it in my CV, but do you know someone that has done something similar? Anyway, I call it the trifecta, you rae more than welcome to attempt doing it.
Edit: Thank you all for the support in the comments. I did not expect this much positive feedback, I'm literally shaking rn. Next summer I'll attempt the fourfecta. Will let you know how it goes
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So me and my girlfriend were on Discord together bored out of our minds. That’s when she came up with the idea to play Among Us. I agreed, and we joined a public lobbies playing together.
So in one round I get the engineer role (for those who haven’t played among us for a while, it’s a role where you can vent as a crew mate) and I vent in front of her. She freaks out and presses the button and snitches on me, telling the people I was an Impostor.
They didn’t believe her and they skipped. I then told her on vc that if I was the impostor I wouldn’t even kill her because that’s messed up. She on the other hand said “I would murder you first if I was the impostor.”
So next round I’m the Impostor. I killed her first and I started laughing because she was so surprised by it. So I begin to finish the round off by winning. After I won, I continued to laugh about how she was so unaware of me killing her.
Then she got angry at me and told me that I promised I wouldn’t kill her as an impostor, so I broke the trust I had with her. I thought she was joking at first because ITS AMONG US. A GAME WHERE YOU HAVE TO LIE.
She then said things like “What kind of boyfriend does that” “You’re just like my ex” “you shouldn’t be laughing, that proves you don’t care about me”
So I argued back with her telling her it was a game about fucking beans and she’s getting so worked up over it.
We kinda yelled at each other on VC which led to her breaking up with me because she couldn’t trust me anymore.
WHAT THE FUCK. 😭I really just lost my girlfriend over amogus. Here’s a little bit of our convo after we got off vc and stuff.
https://ibb.co/fpJJBX7
TL;DR: My girlfriend and I played among us together. I killed her as an impostor and she went off at me which ended in us breaking up.
