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Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.


PC faulty, need expert

    So I'm sitting there with my GTX 1090 and I plug in to my Fortnite-ready pc, but when I turn it on I do my computer tricks and I see that RAM (that stands for random access memory if you're not a computer expert like me) is not show up. So I pull the RAM out, blow on it and put it back in and it works fine for a bit, but then it goes pop. I do not know what is wrong, did they sell me faulty RAM or is my pc the fake? I have tried all of my professional pc repair skills including:
    
       - googling
    
       - running troubleshooter
    
       - asking my discord
    
       - touching the CPU to check if it is hot (it isn't)
    
       - pulling out the hard drive cables when it's running to do a reset Hopefully someone like Elon Musk or Bill   Gates answers for quick fix.
    
    Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger
    
    Edit #2: why are you calling me cringe? I am just trying to fix my pc, my friends in school aren't gamer like me so they can't help.

    AITA for throwing my sister in front of a train?

      Little bit of back story: My sister just bought me a apple watch, it wasn't the newest so I was super pissed. Like what the hell? Who buys an apple product and not the newest? But anyway I was annoyed all day. It was my birthday and my dad bought me a new Ipad which was nice altough only the 128 GB version and I asked for the 256 GB.
      
      So to the point. I was at the train station with my sister and my dad. And I put the Apple watch my sister gave me on craigslist for free to pick up. (Who's gonna use that trash LMAO) So my sister saw me do that. She got angry at me like what the hell? So as the train came up to the platform I pushed her in front of it.
      
      I am now faced with charge of murder, like wtf she got what she deserved. I am now posting this from her funeral laughing my ass off.
      
      Was I the asshole? I don't think I did wrong neither do my friends and 4 million instagram followers. This is just a waste of time smh...

      Pokimane and you are having a little chat in your mansion

        “Aha, Bartholemew, I had no idea you were so strong,” Pokimane teases, rubbing your bicep. You blush, and nervously smirk. “Well, what can I say? I’m just such a gym-head.” She laughs, offering a tantalizing look, her cerulean eyes contrasting sharply with the dim lighting of the largest bedroom in your mansion. “Well, I’ve always liked a real man,” she replies with a seductive smugness tinted with a sarcastic edge. It was as if she was saying: “God, I know I shouldn’t go through with this...but my body disagrees. Goddammit, Imane...” You start stroking her hips vertically, the tension now so palpable you could cut it with your abs. You near her ears and lick your lips. “You know what I like most about you, Ms. Anys?” Her heart rate surges, and her knees immediately tremble. She loved when you called her that: it gave her this sense of power-a sense of power she desperately wanted you to take from her. “Yeah, what is that Matthew?” she inquires shaking in pure delight, barely able to form a sentence. You grip her hips with your manly hands. She’s desperate to disguise her true feelings, but you both know that deep down, she’s undergoing nothing but pure euphoria. Every inch of her body is willing to give in to you, no matter how much she wants to hide it with her above-it-all pompoussness. “I like that you’re such a risk-taker,” you finish with a sensual peck on her hear. Oh my God. “I can’t do this to Hasan,” Poki’s conscious desperately tries to convince her-but a woman’s urges are a woman’s urges. And these urges are far more powerful than any sense of moral righteousness that she may desire. You start scratching at the jeans wrapped tightly wrapped around her thick, voluptuous right thigh. “This is happening, right here, right now!” you order, as your other hand starts unbuttoning her top without resistance. “Oh y-yes, daddy!” she responds, with a girlish stutter. “Yeah, something’s starting alright!” you hear a booming Turkish voice respond. Before you can turn your head, Hasan Piker beats the shit out of you, picks up Poki, and then spits on you. “Oh my God, Hasan, I’m so sorry!” He smirks. “Don’t worry about it, baby,” he said. “But I’m surprised you almost went through it-that guy was a fucking libertarian.” She couldn’t believe it. Oh my God, seriously?” she replies with disgust. “Yeah, and you know what we do to lib-“ before he could finish Pokimane drags your unconscious body to her front yard and runs you over with her ford carrola. “So much for the tolerant left,” you think, before it all blacks out.

        AITA for asking my parents to read a piece I wrote, not warning them that it involves very sexual graphic depictions of cunnilingus?

          There’s two things you need to know about me: I’m a 24 year old man and I love eating pussy. Seriously it’s my favorite thing and unlike most males, I don’t have much interest in blowjobs or even sex. I’m also a writer and I realized I should stop trying to write the next great American novel and just write what I know....
          
          So I wrote a nonfiction (but...flowery, I’d say) piece about eating pussy. It’s not porn, it’s like modern day Anais Nin type intellectual sexual content. It’s also very feminist because there are men out there (nay, boys) who still have childish hang ups about French kissing a woman’s delicate rose. Apologies for all my various euphemisms. Like I said I’m a writer.
          
          My parents aren’t even conservative but they got really uncomfortable after I had them read my piece. My mom said it was a bit too much for her. I asked her which part, and she said all of it but specifically pointed to a line (copy paste): “I slither my tongue through her sumptuous flaps, lapping up her golden honey with fervor as I feel her stiffening turtles head poking into my nostril.” She and my dad have always been supportive of my writing but they said this was “private” and they’d rather not read any more stuff about my sex life.
          
          I have to admit I’M a little offended because this is my art and I also believe this is the piece that might actually be something. My dad draws in his free time and this includes nude portraits of people we don’t even know....so how is that ok but my writing isn’t?
          
          Alas. The perils of being in a family of creatives lol. Anyway who’s in the wrong?

          I got banned from r/lgbt for posting this. I don’t know why, it was a legitimate question

            Asking for a friend
            
            Is there a sexuality for people who’re only attracted to 2d anime girls with fat tiddies? Ever since I’ve been a young lad, I’ve been revolted by the sight of real-life women, but Japanese cartoon characters have really done the trick for me. Every Friday night since 2009 I’ve dressed up in traditional Japanese clothing and swung around a sword for hours, honing my katana skills - preparing for the day that I move to Japan and become Hokage. Am I alone? If not, what’s it officially called? I thought “hentaisexual” might work but that sounds kinda retarded to me the more I think about it.