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Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.


POV: you just got downvoted by me 😎

    I just down voted you.
    
    Listen📢👂up⬆️ kid🔞. This is 🔥🔥Reddit🔥🔥 and I just ⬇️downvoted👎 you. Do you really🙈think🧠🚫 your opinion😂😂 can exist🦄 being so grossly🤢🤮 different (more like wrong😂) to my own?🤦‍♂️Think again edgelord🙅‍♂️ ⚰RIP☠ in✌peace☮ to your karma buddy📉 because that arrow🏹 is gonna be ⬇️down👇 and 🥶blue😱 when I get through with you😂 Perhaps🤔 you should think🧠✌ twice✌ before disagreeing🙅‍♂️🙅‍♂️with 🃏🧐me😎🃏
    Throwing you a dislike 👎because:
    
    ☝: Your comment wasn't epic
    
    ✌: It was not funny
    
    🤌: not cute or wholesome
    
    🖐: I'll edit in another reason later
    
    Better luck next time. I'd rather watch 5 Mr Bean movies than read that sh$t again......
    
    To my followers: hope y'all liking my new way of roasting redditors. I'm enjoying your feedback and take it to heart I love improving the site and making people better humans because of my replies to them. Beace out ✌

    No offense, but peeing with a boner is harder than giving birth

      According to my scientific studies, Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. I am being 100 percent serious when I say this. This shouldn't even be an unpopular opinion, people just don't think about what the word "difficult" actually means. Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. Giving birth is definitely more painful, but pain by itself does not make something difficult. For example, putting my hand in a fire is not difficult, but it would hurt a lot. In order for something to be difficult, there has to be some chance of failure due to lack of skill, practice, or technique. Peeing with a boner often requires creative problem solving skills, especially in small spaces. There is no creative problem solving aspect of giving birth. Additionally, the way humans have evolved for these two actions supports my point. Giving birth is a natural process, which humans have evolved to be able to do. The female body is literally designed so that it can give birth with the lowest possible chance of error. The only real error that can happen is a miscarriage, which is also a natural occurrence, not a failure that occurs due to a lack of skill in giving birth. The male body, on the other hand, has evolved specifically so that peeing with a boner is very difficult. The only purpose for having a boner is to impregnate a woman, so the male body evolved to prevent urination during sex. On top of the difficulty in simply getting the pee to flow, there's the issue of actually positioning yourself so that the boner is pointing into the toilet bowl (urinals are much easier, but not always an option). In the past, I have had to give up and wait until my boner goes away because it was simply too difficult to actually pee in the toilet. There has never been a case where a woman has tried to give birth after being pregnant for nine months, not been able to do it, and said "fuck it" and waited 3 more months to try again because it would be easier the second try. Giving birth happens, every single time, because it's a natural process - peeing with a boner is the opposite.

      TIFU by telling my friend that her dog isn’t non-binary.

        LIBARAL AGENDA!
        This happened during lunch when she excitedly brought her dog along. It’s a super cute “labradoodle” and she has had him for 3 weeks now. Like most new dog owners she talked a lot about this dog and how smart he is, how he is with other dogs and people, etc. I didn’t mind of course, if it made her happy then why not!
        
        An hour or so into lunch I noticed she kept referring to the dog as “it” and “they” I asked what gender the dog is and she gave me such a look. “…THEY are non-binary. THEY do not have a gender.” Er… what? She really took me surprise and then I laughed thinking she was joking. Well, she wasn’t…
        
        I then made the mistake of saying that it’s a bit silly to be that way about her dog. It’s not like the dog can tell her that HE doesn’t identify as a gender. She was furious when I said that and the rest of the lunch was awkward as hell, even after changing the subject.
        
        TLDR; TIFU by telling my friend over lunch that her new adorable labradoodle dog isn’t non-binary.
        
        Edit: actually thought I was going to get hate for this, glad to know I’m not a total bad person.

        They targeted gamers.

          They targeted gamers.
          
          Gamers.
          
          We're a group of people who will sit for hours, days, even weeks on end performing some of the hardest, most mentally demanding tasks. Over, and over, and over all for nothing more than a little digital token saying we did.
          
          We'll punish our selfs doing things others would consider torture, because we think it's fun.
          
          We'll spend most if not all of our free time min maxing the stats of a fictional character all to draw out a single extra point of damage per second.
          
          Many of us have made careers out of doing just these things: slogging through the grind, all day, the same quests over and over, hundreds of times to the point where we know evety little detail such that some have attained such gamer nirvana that they can literally play these games blindfolded.
          
          Do these people have any idea how many controllers have been smashed, systems over heated, disks and carts destroyed 8n frustration? All to latter be referred to as bragging rights?
          
          These people honestly think this is a battle they can win? They take our media? We're already building a new one without them. They take our devs? Gamers aren't shy about throwing their money else where, or even making the games our selves. They think calling us racist, mysoginistic, rape apologists is going to change us? We've been called worse things by prepubescent 10 year olds with a shitty head set. They picked a fight against a group that's already grown desensitized to their strategies and methods. Who enjoy the battle of attrition they've threatened us with. Who take it as a challange when they tell us we no longer matter. Our obsession with proving we can after being told we can't is so deeply ingrained from years of dealing with big brothers/sisters and friends laughing at how pathetic we used to be that proving you people wrong has become a very real need; a honed reflex.
          
          Gamers are competative, hard core, by nature. We love a challange. The worst thing you did in all of this was to challange us. You're not special, you're not original, you're not the first; this is just another boss fight.

          My (F) girlfriend left me after I (M) said something funny during sexy time

            So yesterday I was having some sexy (sex) time (not too much) with my female (F) wife. Everything was going fine, plec, plec, plec, ploc, ploc, ploc, until I had the urge to set my prostate yogurt free. I took a long breath and let it rip, and in the end of the flow I announced "NOT THE CHICKEN, NOR THE EGG... I CAME FIRST" and slapped my girl's ass. She hasn't spoke to me since the incident and it's been five days. What should I do, reddit?

            LPT: If you’re tall, when speaking to a short person, kneel down or else you’re being ableist

              Being short is a disability, and as a tall person, it's your responsibility to make sure short people don't get even more disabled by having to look up to speak to you. Doing this can damage their neck. Standing up while talking to short people also makes them feel threatened and unsafe so kneeling down not only prevents them from damaging their necks but also makes them feel more safe. Not doing this means you don't respect short people, you're mocking their disability, you're looking down on them and that's ableist, so be the bigger man and kneel.
              
              Thank you.