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Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.


STOP SAYING CUM

    Stop saying the word CUM!
    Stop saying the word cum so much are you fucking retarded? What's so funny about semen? AHAHAHAHA CUM COOM CAM CAM HAHAHA LOOK AT ME. SEXSEXSEXX AAAHHAAHAH!!!!!!SHUT THE FUCK UP MAKE IT STOP. Me (M18) and my gf (F19) were doing the good sexy sex when I decided to browse Reddit and then I see it: CUM!!!!!!! WHYYYYYYY??? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS????? THATS SO FUCKING DISGUSTING AND IMMATURE AND MY GF LEFT ME AFTER SHE READ THAT! THATS SO FUNNY FOR YOU ISN'T IT???? ISNT IT WHAT YOU WANTED??? NOONE RUINS MY SEX SEXY SEX SEX WITH MY FEMALE COMPANION.

Sincerely, FUCK YOU

    Is it weird that I fidget with my balls?

      When i'm alone in my room I often fidget with my balls. I have no idea why, at this point I do it without even realizing. Ill just be laying down or sitting at my desk and reach into my pants. As long as I can remember I've always done this, even before my diagnosis.

I've just been worried that for some reason this could be bad or an underlying issue but I don't want to ask my doctor because it's embarrassing obviously

Is it weird that I do this? Do any other ball-havers do this?

EDIT: First of all, thank you guys for your comments it really helped me to find out im not a weirdo and that other people do this. Secondly, to the people concerned that I might accidentally touch my balls in public, I wan't to make it clear that I will NEVER let that happen. In public I am super self conscious and 90% of my thoughts most of the time are about how stupid i look etc. Most of the time Im trying to blend in and not fidget at all so the chances that I would accidentally touch my balls are definitely 0

EDIT 2: The amount of honesty in this comment section has restored my faith in humanity

      r/radioheadcirclejerk ruined the entirety of Kid A album for me.

        "Babe wake up, new Radiohead copypasta just dropped"
        Original post
        This fucking joke of a subreddit is the sole reason I can no longer listen to Kid A anymore.

This WAS my favourite album of all time, nevermind in the context of the Radiohead discography. The album is a masterpiece especially compared to today's pop trash on the radio. On my darkest days, I would put this album on and be moved to tears everytime.

But the fucking basement dwellers of r/radioheadcirclejerk have ruined any sense of enjoyment I had listening to the album. Mainly because of the stupid fucking meme of "HoLY SHIt GuYS hE SaID IcE AgE CoMInG Did ThOm YorkE PrEDicT tHe IcE aGe MoVie CoMIng OuT?!!??" And whenever I listen to the album and it gets to Idiotque, I break down in hysterics because all I can think of is that dumbass fucking meme and the subhuman trash populating that subreddit. It ruins and emotional weigh and meaning to the songs because it's clouded by their absolute stupidity.

I had to bring this up to my therapist because this album was so special to me and this whole experience psychologically damaged me.

I guess art is dead because people can't take art seriously anymore. They have to make it about some dead fucking meme or something and entirely devalue the art. This is the death of art happening before our very eyes, folks. And if you won't stand for the most influential artist of the century and not let their name be smeared by jokers of the internet, than you are not a true radiohead fan.

I want r/radioheadcirclejerk to be taken down because this is a disgrace to human expression and an assult on the psyche.

Fuck you and fuck your dumbass fucking memes. Radiohead deserves way better.

        R/place Eggman Rant

          r/Place rant copypasta
          I've come to make an announcement: XQC is a bitch-ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fuckin art. That's right, he took his ugly ass lean pixel out and he pissed on my fucking art, and he said his lean was "THIS BIG," and I said "that's disgusting," so I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com: XQC, you've got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dick looks like. That's right, baby. All tiles, no lean, no void — look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my art, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck your lean. That's right this is what you get: MY SUPER LAZER CUM!! Except I'm not gonna cum on Your lean, I'm gonna go higher; I'M CUMMING ON THE r/PLACE! How do you like that, u/Chtorrr?! I CUMMED ON THE r/place, YOU IDIOT!

You have twenty-three hours before the cum D R O P L E T S fills the fuckin place, now get outta my fucking sight, before I cum on you too

          There should be a reddit-wide ban on “I’m gonna kill myself”

            Relevant pasta
            Nowadays it's like 20 people per day saying shit like that. There should be a system that automatically filters them out and sends the appropriate resources to the person in need. If the resources work, great! If they don't, at least no one else has to live with the knowledge that like 20 redditors killed themselves today. Without this ban, there's a chance that someone only stays alive because their post got like 200 upvites and thought "Oh now I am something!" It's depressing.

Edit: thanks guys got my first Reddit care message

            Finding a vibrator in my sisters room

              Good god what a day.

So I was minding my business in my room, when I start hearing this buzzing noise from somewhere. I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from, and honestly it sounded like a vacuum coming from the room above. It goes on for a few minutes until my mom comes into my room and asks me where the noise is coming from. At the time it’s just me and my mom in our house, so we start investigating. Sure enough it’s coming from my sisters room, underneath her bed. My mom asks me to retrieve whatever’s making the noise.

“What is it?”

I reach under the bed, and I find what’s making the noise. Oh no

I lie. “Uhh, yeah it’s an alarm clock”

“Can you take it out?”

I start panicking inside “Uhh sorry I can’t it’s stuck”

“What do you mean it’s stuck?”

“Idk wait give me a sec I need a flashlight”

I rush back to my room and at this point I don’t know what to do. I really don’t want to expose my sister and idk how my mom would react. My mom is feeling a bit sick so she can’t reach down there herself. I grab my alarm clock and go back to my sisters room.

I hid it from my mom but I pretend to reach for something under the bed, and I show my alarm clock to my mom. Thankfully she doesn’t know it’s mine. So the official story now is that her alarm clock went off bc it was set at the wrong time.

My sister gets home, and my mom scolds her for setting her alarm clock at the wrong time. She looks confused since she doesn’t have one. I tell her to be more careful about her alarm clock next time. I think she knows what happened, she hasn’t left the room for awhile.

tl/dr: I found a vibrator underneath my sister’s bed, created a lie to prevent my mom from finding out. she now owes me big time