Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.
It didn’t really register at first. I felt myself hit my balls and thought “Damn I missed how embarrassing.” It wasn’t until we finished that I started to feel an intense ache in my stomach that travelled slowly up to my throat. It became so intense that I had to lay down to avoid throwing up. Kinda like extreme blue balls. Anybody else done this before?
Guys help something is going on with my son. So I(41M) have been having a lot of trouble with my son recently. It started out 3 months ago he would start randomly and loudly moaning during eating, he also often started rubbing and smearing the food on him. Then he also started randomly crying during eating. He also would masturbate and cum during eating and he also started going through my wife's (5F) and mine (63M) drawer and cumming in our underwear. Now this would all be normal after all he's a teenage boy and I did the same thing when I was his age. However what made me really caucious was when he started shitting in his hand and smearing it against him and when he would add the shit into his potato porridge and he would eat the whole thing. So I (68M) went looking around his room and wanted to look in his laptop to maybe find what was causing his strange behavior. I open a file titled as "Porn" and find numerous "Nikocado Avocado Fart Compilation" videos. Unfortunately I hear him coming back so I didn't want to be caught by him so I hide in the locker. Then I watch as he sits down and starts watching one of the videos and starts loudly moaning and masturbating and cumming while he is smearing against his body a yoghurt he brought for eating. I was extremely disgusted by this so I got out of the locker thinking I have to go to the toilet to vomit, however I didn't make it in time to the toilet and vomited all over his locker and room and ran out of his room. Now I am sitting here wondering how can I help my son, guys if any of you have any idea what to do please send help.
Me (20F) was giving my boyfriend (22M) a blowjob. We normally love to play music while getting it on but in my opinion, he has a better taste in music so we used his sex playlist but today instead, we used mine just to change it up. It’s a short playlist only like 32 minutes long or something? Anyways so as i’m giving him a blowjob all of a sudden Mask by Dream starts playing and my boyfriend INSTANTLY lost his erection after hearing the song for like 10 seconds. He asked me if this was Dream and I was so shocked and embarrassed that i didn’t say anything. I then laughed it off like a joke and quickly switched the song but he did not seem amused at all. He went to bed after that and i asked him if he was made and he said no he was just tired but i think he’s mad. I didn’t have that song on the playlist so it just randomly came on after the playlist was done because i listen to it sometimes and i guess spotify knows i like that song! What do I do?!?!
Ok so I live next door to an older couple and their mid-twenties (I think) son. I work from home, so I'm based in the office in my attic. We've lived here for 6 years and it has always been fine, up until recently when I think they've had a house move around and now it seems the son has his bedroom in their attic which is directly next to where I'm sat. We have extremely thin walls, and I think the son works from home too. The problem is, he doesn't seem to actually do any work, he just spends the majority of the working day shaking hands with the milkman. Spanking the monkey. Battling the purple headed yoghurt slinger. Tugging the slug. I can hear EVERY fucking moan and stroke, and I even know his porn preferences because I can hear every sound and word (Older women with a sprinkling of hentai). It has gotten to the point where I can't bring my kids upstairs during the day because they keep asking me what that strange noise is and I'm running out of lies to tell. So good neighbour, on the extremely small chance you're reading this, STOP SPENDING YOUR ENTIRE DAY STROKING THE VEIN CANE AND DO SOME FUCKING WORK!
my girlfriend won't peg me. She says i'm gay. First, I am 100% straight, but I just want to be bent over have someone behind me pounding away. I want her to do that. Is it gay to want to be pegged?
EVIL pro tip: invite your friends to a sleepover and specify that you have enough sleeping accommodations for everyone then when they arrive be like "yeah all the other beds disappeared like ghosts" so everyone has to sleep in this one massive bed but it's really more like 3 california king beds attached at the sides and all your friends reluctantly accept and spread a rumor to different random people that you and x friend slept together (technically true) to cause chaos. once the rumor has reached a sufficient number of people such that your other friends are discussing the rumors like the climax of an episode of a mediocre sitcom, propose to all of your friends at once then immediately say lol get fucked and ride away on your motorbike, never to be seen again