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Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.


R/place Eggman Rant

    r/Place rant copypasta
    I've come to make an announcement: XQC is a bitch-ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fuckin art. That's right, he took his ugly ass lean pixel out and he pissed on my fucking art, and he said his lean was "THIS BIG," and I said "that's disgusting," so I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com: XQC, you've got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dick looks like. That's right, baby. All tiles, no lean, no void — look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my art, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck your lean. That's right this is what you get: MY SUPER LAZER CUM!! Except I'm not gonna cum on Your lean, I'm gonna go higher; I'M CUMMING ON THE r/PLACE! How do you like that, u/Chtorrr?! I CUMMED ON THE r/place, YOU IDIOT!

You have twenty-three hours before the cum D R O P L E T S fills the fuckin place, now get outta my fucking sight, before I cum on you too

    There should be a reddit-wide ban on “I’m gonna kill myself”

      Relevant pasta
      Nowadays it's like 20 people per day saying shit like that. There should be a system that automatically filters them out and sends the appropriate resources to the person in need. If the resources work, great! If they don't, at least no one else has to live with the knowledge that like 20 redditors killed themselves today. Without this ban, there's a chance that someone only stays alive because their post got like 200 upvites and thought "Oh now I am something!" It's depressing.

Edit: thanks guys got my first Reddit care message

      Finding a vibrator in my sisters room

        Good god what a day.

So I was minding my business in my room, when I start hearing this buzzing noise from somewhere. I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from, and honestly it sounded like a vacuum coming from the room above. It goes on for a few minutes until my mom comes into my room and asks me where the noise is coming from. At the time it’s just me and my mom in our house, so we start investigating. Sure enough it’s coming from my sisters room, underneath her bed. My mom asks me to retrieve whatever’s making the noise.

“What is it?”

I reach under the bed, and I find what’s making the noise. Oh no

I lie. “Uhh, yeah it’s an alarm clock”

“Can you take it out?”

I start panicking inside “Uhh sorry I can’t it’s stuck”

“What do you mean it’s stuck?”

“Idk wait give me a sec I need a flashlight”

I rush back to my room and at this point I don’t know what to do. I really don’t want to expose my sister and idk how my mom would react. My mom is feeling a bit sick so she can’t reach down there herself. I grab my alarm clock and go back to my sisters room.

I hid it from my mom but I pretend to reach for something under the bed, and I show my alarm clock to my mom. Thankfully she doesn’t know it’s mine. So the official story now is that her alarm clock went off bc it was set at the wrong time.

My sister gets home, and my mom scolds her for setting her alarm clock at the wrong time. She looks confused since she doesn’t have one. I tell her to be more careful about her alarm clock next time. I think she knows what happened, she hasn’t left the room for awhile.

tl/dr: I found a vibrator underneath my sister’s bed, created a lie to prevent my mom from finding out. she now owes me big time

        Dear r/teenagers,

          r/teenagers copypasta
          Please shut up.

I get it, you’re horny. But nobody wants to hear about all the times you’ve masturbated to your sibling, and nobody wants to hear about һоѡ your tits got in the way of something. Nobody wants to hear your “pwease be my friend 🥺👉👈” crap when posting stuff like this is exactly the reason why you have no friends. You complain about not having bfs/gfs and yet you post garbage with zero self awareness. “Boobs tits or ass” һоѡ about grass you cum stained landwhale. Go outside. Get some vitamin D. Get some friends. Get something other than erection every time you see a woman.

          Hey! I noticed you used an emoji.

            POV You've just used an emoji
            I don’t know if you’re new here, so I’ll let you off the hook this time. Using emojis is frowned upon here on this great site, and for good reason. Instagram normies often use them, and you don’t want to be a normie, do you?

If I catch you using an emoji in the future, I’ll be forced to issue a downvote to your comment. Why should you care, you may ask? Well to begin, you will lose karma on your account, which is a useful social status tool and also a way to show others you know your way around Reddit.

If you were to continue the use of emojis, I would be forced to privately message you about your slip-up. Any further offenses past that would leave me no other option than to report your account. I don’t think I have to explain why you don’t want that.

But anyways, no harm done yet! Follow these simple rules and you’ll enjoy your future on Reddit! Have a blessed (and hopefully emoji-free) day, stranger.

            Why do ppl find boobs attractive

              Why are boobs attractive?
              Like its just 2 balls with tiny dots at the end as a gay dude i don’t understand 😃🔫 EDIT: after 60 replies i came to a conclusion, being: Because squish squish bounce bounce jingle jongle wibble wobble mommy milkers soft 😩

EDIT2: i got asked y i dont like em and im just gonna say. Trauma that involves a shower and my naked grandma 🥰