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Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.


boyfriend has ton of nude hentai all over apartment

    I'm posting this on another sub-reddit for more advice.
    
    I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years.
    
    Within the past month he keeps buying stickers and posters of naked anime / hentai and putting it everywhere in the apartment. I'm really not comfortable with this, and it bothers me even more because I sometimes have to pick up my nephew that is 10 from school and I watch him at the apartment until someone picks him up to go home. My mom also comes to visit so I try to hide the stuff but there is so much it's really difficult. He also has some in his car and it's noticeable to passengers, for example his best friend saw it and said, " why tf do you have naked pictures of women in your car dude? Your gf is right here." And my boyfriend just laughed and didn't say anything. The picture I'm referencing for that situation is a real person btw, idk who the model is or anything.
    
    He also has a huge poster (made out of cloth, I know there is another name for this but I can't remember), of a naked anime girl fingering herself. ( it covers the entire wall, like 6 feet tall)
    
    I don't even know what to do anymore. I told him I didn't like it and that I felt disrespected, but he just says, " I can't have anything nice." His friends have even asked me privately on the side why is he doing this and they feel bad for me.
    
    Ever since he got his job as a correctional officer last year he completely changed. I don't know what to do.

    TIFU by thinking my son was having gay sex when he was just eating Hummus

      So I (39F) have a son (15M) and he brought a friend round today.
      
      They immediately went to their room and I assumed they would just play some video games or whatever so I was totally fine leaving them.
      
      It was about 30 minutes in when I was walking past, I heard sounds such as 'Omg that's so good' and 'Its so good with that in it' and various 'mmmm' sounds.
      
      It really sounded like they were having gay sex, I was super weirded out by it so I quickly went downstairs and waited for his friend to leave. When this friend left an hour or two later I asked my son what they were doing in his room (because although I don't mind him being gay, and ik it's normal for teenagers to have sex, a condom really should be used) so I planned to confront him about that.
      
      However the answer shocked me to my very core. They weren't having sex, they were eating hummus.
      
      I was shocked, and initially didn't believe it. We had never had hummus before and I asked him to show me the hummus if this was true. So he did, and I ate hummus for the first time, and oh my god was it good. We experimented with different things in it like bread and carrots and it was great. Apparently his friend had heard about how he had never had hummus before and thought this was absurd so had planned a date for a hummus party.
      
      So yeah, it ended up being quite a good ending, i discovered how nice hummus was.
      
      TLDR: Thought my son was having gay sex, he just really liked hummus.

      STOP SAYING CUM

        Stop saying the word CUM!
        Stop saying the word cum so much are you fucking retarded? What's so funny about semen? AHAHAHAHA CUM COOM CAM CAM HAHAHA LOOK AT ME. SEXSEXSEXX AAAHHAAHAH!!!!!!SHUT THE FUCK UP MAKE IT STOP. Me (M18) and my gf (F19) were doing the good sexy sex when I decided to browse Reddit and then I see it: CUM!!!!!!! WHYYYYYYY??? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS????? THATS SO FUCKING DISGUSTING AND IMMATURE AND MY GF LEFT ME AFTER SHE READ THAT! THATS SO FUNNY FOR YOU ISN'T IT???? ISNT IT WHAT YOU WANTED??? NOONE RUINS MY SEX SEXY SEX SEX WITH MY FEMALE COMPANION.
        
        Sincerely, FUCK YOU

        Is it weird that I fidget with my balls?

          When i'm alone in my room I often fidget with my balls. I have no idea why, at this point I do it without even realizing. Ill just be laying down or sitting at my desk and reach into my pants. As long as I can remember I've always done this, even before my diagnosis.
          
          I've just been worried that for some reason this could be bad or an underlying issue but I don't want to ask my doctor because it's embarrassing obviously
          
          Is it weird that I do this? Do any other ball-havers do this?
          
          EDIT: First of all, thank you guys for your comments it really helped me to find out im not a weirdo and that other people do this. Secondly, to the people concerned that I might accidentally touch my balls in public, I wan't to make it clear that I will NEVER let that happen. In public I am super self conscious and 90% of my thoughts most of the time are about how stupid i look etc. Most of the time Im trying to blend in and not fidget at all so the chances that I would accidentally touch my balls are definitely 0
          
          EDIT 2: The amount of honesty in this comment section has restored my faith in humanity

          r/radioheadcirclejerk ruined the entirety of Kid A album for me.

            This fucking joke of a subreddit is the sole reason I can no longer listen to Kid A anymore.
            
            This WAS my favourite album of all time, nevermind in the context of the Radiohead discography. The album is a masterpiece especially compared to today's pop trash on the radio. On my darkest days, I would put this album on and be moved to tears everytime.
            
            But the fucking basement dwellers of r/radioheadcirclejerk have ruined any sense of enjoyment I had listening to the album. Mainly because of the stupid fucking meme of "HoLY SHIt GuYS hE SaID IcE AgE CoMInG Did ThOm YorkE PrEDicT tHe IcE aGe MoVie CoMIng OuT?!!??" And whenever I listen to the album and it gets to Idiotque, I break down in hysterics because all I can think of is that dumbass fucking meme and the subhuman trash populating that subreddit. It ruins and emotional weigh and meaning to the songs because it's clouded by their absolute stupidity.
            
            I had to bring this up to my therapist because this album was so special to me and this whole experience psychologically damaged me.
            
            I guess art is dead because people can't take art seriously anymore. They have to make it about some dead fucking meme or something and entirely devalue the art. This is the death of art happening before our very eyes, folks. And if you won't stand for the most influential artist of the century and not let their name be smeared by jokers of the internet, than you are not a true radiohead fan.
            
            I want r/radioheadcirclejerk to be taken down because this is a disgrace to human expression and an assult on the psyche.
            
            Fuck you and fuck your dumbass fucking memes. Radiohead deserves way better.

            R/place Eggman Rant

              r/Place rant copypasta
              I've come to make an announcement: XQC is a bitch-ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fuckin art. That's right, he took his ugly ass lean pixel out and he pissed on my fucking art, and he said his lean was "THIS BIG," and I said "that's disgusting," so I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com: XQC, you've got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dick looks like. That's right, baby. All tiles, no lean, no void — look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my art, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck your lean. That's right this is what you get: MY SUPER LAZER CUM!! Except I'm not gonna cum on Your lean, I'm gonna go higher; I'M CUMMING ON THE r/PLACE! How do you like that, u/Chtorrr?! I CUMMED ON THE r/place, YOU IDIOT!
              
              You have twenty-three hours before the cum D R O P L E T S fills the fuckin place, now get outta my fucking sight, before I cum on you too