Copypasta and circle jerk response to reddit culture or hivemind mentality. Primarily done to ridicule AITA sub or r/relationship_advice absurd nature.
My (F23) boyfriend (M21) and I went away this past weekend to the coast.
Overall, we had a lovely few days. However, yesterday morning we were going on a walk though a quiet little wooded area when an older pervy looking fella tried “flirting” with me by whipping his dick out and asking me if I wanted to be with a “real man”.
I was completely taken aback by this guy’s brazenness. Sure, I’ve been flashed, harassed etc before but never right in front of my boyfriend. How would he react? Were we in danger?
My boyfriend calmly told him, “She already has a man” and casually whipped his own out. Once he saw the size of it, the creeper soon backed off and left us alone.
I couldn’t believe what just happened. My boyfriend can be very unorthodox and unpredictable in the way he chooses to handle situations (part of this is what attracted me to him) but this was too surreal. Honestly, I was just relieved that my boyfriend’s actions didn’t end up escalating the situation.
When we got back to the car, I was like, “I can’t believe you just did that” and half-joked that I wish he was around the other dozen or so times I was harassed. He was surprised to learn that I had been harassed previously, so this little incident opened up a nice little dialogue between us which never existed before (I’m a very private person and try to just brush comments, catcalls etc off as and when they happen).
Hell everyone. I have made a burner account to post this as my personal account is known to some friends of mine. I’m hoping for some advice on how to get my husband to stop quoting family guy during sex My (F32) husband (M30) have a great relationship. Everything in our life has been amazing since we met 3 years ago and had our son 1 year ago. Recently he’s started watching a lot of the show family guy in his free time, he told me he used to love watching it back in high school and college and watching it now brings him back. Normally I wouldn’t have any issue with this as it’s his choice what he watches and really I don’t have any strong feelings about the show but he constantly quotes his favorite character when we have sex. Every time either one of us initiates fun time he will go “all right” in a voice that sounds like the character quagmire and move his head back and forth. When I talk dirty to him he will respond with “giggity” in the same voice. I love my husband a lot and don’t want him to be upset about me not liking his show but it is just strange. What is the best way to tell him to stop? Thank you.
Last time I slept early on my best friends house he pranked me by putting cum on my hands and made me slap it to my face now it's time for my revenge
Edit:he's asleep and I'm jacking off now
Everyday my son (14male) wake up at 7:00am to the American Dad theme song EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY I can't take it anymore it's driving me insane its driving his siblings insane he set his alarm tone to the song and I just can't take it anymore me an my wife's bedroom is right next to his we hear it everymorning a the fucking crack of dawn GOOD MORNING USA I GOT A FEELING THAT'S IT'S GONNA BE A WONDERFUL DAY can someone please give me advice to stop this
This happened about 20' minutes or so. Buckle up 'cause you're up for a ride.
Late afternoon, im sitting in my bed, and as any teen would, i got horny. Decided to get to it-
six or so minutes later im in full heat and theres this GOD DAMN FLY! Right now?! I loose concentration of the important matters, now mad at this god dammned fly.
"Time for revenge, scumdog!" i say, as i begin to grip the barrel of the machinegun. The enemy seems to understand the situation and begins evasive manuevers, perhaps, thinking it could get away.
Round chambered, i begin to aim towards the moving target. It is a risky shot but a succesful hit would mean total, inmediate victory.
I could predate the enemy's sheer, utter panic and state of mind. It KNEW they weren't coming out of this god damn battlefield alive.
"Now's the moment" my mind speaks. I thigthen my grip. Pull the trigger...
First round. Total miss.
Second round, "Dont fail me now"... Barely missed. I would say it ricocheted.
500 miliseconds later, third's the charm... FULL HIT!
Target spirals out of control, warped by the kinetic force of the load.
I begin to, slowly, aproach the fallen oponent. Seems like there's still some movement...
I grab my (recently polished) bayonet to put it out of his pain.. Until...
Its Alive. Its not just alive. Its thirsty for revenge.
The snow coated soldier begins to raise from it's misery.
As it raises, higher by every moment, the frosting puddle pulls a string from its injured body, high up and slowly into the cloudy heavens. He's clearly struggling.
And the chain snaps, he's free from the ground.
"Oh no" I say to myself. Only then did i realize the real potential of the enemy i faced.
As the white string snapped, the now flying enemy picked up a giant, long droplet.
A CUM PAYLOAD!
As i try to stop the inpact, the fly drops its payload onto my black carpet....
"Well", that must be all, lets begin the cleanup of the battle... Fool me.
The now Jizz stained Wehrmacht roars the skies. What's about it?, you'd ask.
Yes, the payload is gone, but. That motherfucker sat on my laptop and left a stain!
And it proceeded to keep sitting in various places leaving micro stains everywhere..
The room looks like my fucking balls exploded.
Fuck.
TL;DR: splat a fly with jizz and it stained jizz everywhere
My girlfriend has a table with a hole in it. It's measured so my dick fits perfectly through it. My girlfriend likes to have me lay on the table and stick my dick through the hole, where she proceeds to "milk" me. Whenever I cum, she says "mmmm yummy cupcake", which has started to weird me out. What should I do?
