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Jokes

Copypasta related to an internet joke.


Joemama is Joe Swanson’s African ancestor

    Joemama is real
    Joemama is Joe Swanson's African ancestor, who appeared in "Untitled Griffin Family History". He, like his descendant, is paraplegic, paralyzed from the waist down. In lieu of a wheelchair, he used a wild boar as his method of mobility. His best friends were Nate Griffin and Quagdingo. The three were captured by Cleveland from South Carolina, and brought to the American British colonies, along with Tobi, Ali Williams, and the African ancestors of Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons. It is unknown what became of Joemama following the arrival in the new world. The status of the wild boar is unknown as well.

    I accidentally downloaded a virus

      Computer virus
      I accidentally downloaded a virus and now I can only write in WIDE LATIN and also whenever I type WIDE LATIN it automatically gets capitalized help

      An elderly woman has been messaging people

        WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, AN ELDERLY WOMAN. SHE'S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING PEOPLE, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES. SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE 11 IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVORS. I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 6 AND OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH IT. IT'S SUPER SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK WON'T TURN OFF.

        Only a spoonful explained

          As we can see, King Bach has presented a rather large spoon to his friend. The humor stems from the fact that King Bach would like to eat some ice cream but his friend resorts at him, saying he can only have a spoonful and nothing more. Bach then suddenly changes his expression and body language that he is in possession of a spoon. And not just any spoon, it is a massive stainless steel spoon. This is funny because you would never expect someone to be in possession of a massive spoon to eat 
          Ok... so hear me out. This dude is at his friends house. They’re just hanging out like friends do. But then all of a sudden, this dude has a desire for some ice cream. This is where it get interesting. The dude sees his friend in the kitchen with him. “Ayo dog can I get some ice cream?” He asks. His friend decides to be a good friend and let him have some ice cream, but he limits his amount of ice cream to only a spoonful. “Only a spoonful.” he says. This is where it gets really good. This dude knew he was gonna only let him have a spoonful, therefore he came prepared. As he is about to open the fridge to aquire the ice cream. As he puts hus hand on the handle, he looks at his friend with an evil smirk on his face. He pulls out a spoon that is above average size. Normally referred to as a comically large spoon. His friend knew that he had messed up because the giant spoon is still a spoon, therefore it was still a spoonful. He opens up the fridge to acquire the ice cream and then the video ends. Now tell me, is that not the funniest shit you’ve ever heard?

          “Only A Spoonful” But It’s Verbose

          Casual greeting, my close friend. I am requesting access to the product of which you own inside of your refrigerator, that product being a sweet and frozen food typically eaten as a snack or dessert.
          
          I will allow you access to this product of mine under one condition. You are only allowed to consume the amount of ice cream to fill a spoon.
          
          King Bach then pulls out a comically large spoon with a smug look on his face. The twist here is that due to the spoon being comically large, King Bach can eat pretty much all the ice cream he wants, while still only having a spoonful of ice cream.
          A spoon that was present in King Bach's ice cream vine, where he had asked if he could have some of his friends ice cream. When King Bach's friend was presented this question, he said that King Bach could only consume one spoonful of the ice cream. (Context: The friend bought the ice cream and did not want to share all of the sweet frozen treat, a logical decision to make). When King Bach was given the yes to have only a spoonful of his friend's ice cream, he pulled out a comically large stainless steel spoon. With a smirk on his face, he opened the door to the freezer where the ice cream was stored, and would then consume a spoonful of the ice cream. Since the spoon was so comically large, King Bach would be able to consume all of the ice cream, while only having a spoonful.
          
          "Can I get some ice cream?"
          
          "Only a spoonful."
          
          King Bach pulls out a Comically Large Spoon

          Colors of cum you can unlock: A guide to how to unlock them

            COMMON COLORS: -White:Default
            
            -Brown:Nut 10 times to unlock this color.
            
            -Gray:Nut 25 times to unlock this color.
            
            -Black:Nut 50 times to unlock this color.
            
            -Beige:Nut 75 times to unlock this color.
            
            -Maroon:Nut 100 times with the 100th nut being shot using the helicopter method.
            
            UNCOMMON COLORS:
            
            -Red:Get 25 nuts using the helicopter method.
            
            -Yellow:Shoot your cum to a distance of at least 15 feet away.
            
            -Blue:Jump up as you cum and land your cum inside a cup.
            
            -Green:Nut 10 times in a single jerking session to the same thing without stopping.
            
            -Orange:Nut while sick or having a headache.
            
            -Purple:Nut 125 times with the 125th nut being shot into a toilet using the sniping method.
            
            RARE COLORS:
            
            -Pink:Nut to something really weird(Does not count pedophiliac content,that is illegal and horrible and you will lose all progress and have your account terminated)
            
            -Lime:Nut while eating something spicy
            
            -Amber:Nut to a really old porn video from 1896.
            
            -Teal:Nut inside a public restroom
            
            -Mustard:Show your cock to another cock
            
            -Indigo:When caught masturbating,look at your assailant in the eyes.
            
            EPIC COLORS(PATTERNS BEGIN TO APPEAR HERE):
            
            -Ruby:Obtain a condom and nut inside it
            
            -Sapphire:Nut inside the ocean 4 times in a row
            
            -Emerald:Nut at school 35 times -Gold:Nut 2,000 times
            
            -Silver:Nut while shitting in the shower.
            
            -Diamond:Nut on 20 inanimate objects
            
            -Pearl:Nut 2,500 times
            
            -Platinum:Charge up your cum for 50 days and let it rip on day 50 on a toilet seat
            
            LEGENDARY COLORS:
            
            -Woodland MARPAT camoflauge:Nut while wearing the same colors as your surroundings at exactly 6:54 PM MST.
            
            -Bloodied:Have blood cum out instead of cum
            
            The rest are unknown as of now.

            Yes,I am a R.A.C.I.S.T.

              Why, yes, I am R.A.C.I.S.T:
              
              Respect my friend's different beliefs
              
              Adore the little quirks in their traditions
              
              Care for my friends, no matter their skin color
              
              Inform myself on what taboos I should never break
              
              Smile when they speak their native tongues
              
              The French must be purged from the Earth