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Copypasta related to an internet joke.

John Wick needs your help!

    Original video
    ๐ŸšจAttention๐ŸšจALL FORTNITE GAMERS ๐ŸŽฎ๐ŸŽฎ๐ŸŽฎ, John Wick is in great danger๐Ÿ†˜, and he needs YOUR help to wipe out ๐Ÿ’€ all the squads in THe tilted towers ๐Ÿข๐Ÿข๐Ÿข. To do this, he needs a gold SCAR ๐Ÿ”ซ and a couple of chug-jugs๐Ÿบ๐Ÿบ. To help him, all he needs is your credit card number ๐Ÿ’ณ , and the three numbers on the back 3๏ธโƒฃ and the expiration month and date ๐Ÿ“…. But you gotta be quick โšกso that John can secure the bag ๐Ÿ’ฐ, and achieve the epic victory R O Y AL
    Attention all Fortnite gamers: John Wick is in great danger and he needs your help to wipe out the squads in the Tilted Towers, but to do this he needs a golden scar and a couple of chug jugs. To help him, all he needs is your credit card number, the three digits on the back, and the expiration month and year. But, you gotta be quick, so John Wick can secure the bag and achieve the epic Victory Royal!

    CAN MODS OF THIS SUB DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?!

      WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, A WOMAN. SHE'S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING PEOPLE, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLE. SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE 11 IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVORS. I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 6 AND OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH IT. IT'S SUPER SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK WON'T TURN OFF.

      bad scp writers be like

        <redacted>
        SCP-โ–ˆโ–ˆ

Object class: โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ

Containment Procedures: โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ

Description: โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆsubjectโ€™s genitalsโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ

        TRUMP IS BAD TRUMP IS BAD TRUMP IS BAD TRUMP IS BAD

          introducing the Slap Chopโ„ข
          The original video
          Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! Youโ€™re going to be in a great mood all day, because youโ€™re going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look hereโ€™s a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you donโ€™t have to switch any blades.

Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- thatโ€™s why you donโ€™t have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza.

Youโ€™re going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now youโ€™re going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this youโ€™re going to have an exciting life now.

Look hereโ€™s a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and youโ€™re going to love this. You donโ€™t have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go.

Youโ€™re going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isnโ€™t that beautiful on your ice cream.

          ๏ผ™๏ผ—๏ผ… ๏ฝ๏ฝ† ๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝ…๏ฝŽ๏ฝ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ“

            Justin bieber? This takes me back...
            ๏ผ™๏ผ—๏ผ… ๏ฝ๏ฝ† ๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝ…๏ฝŽ๏ฝ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ—๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝŒ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ’๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ† ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ…๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ“๏ฝ๏ฝ— ๏ผช๏ฝ•๏ฝ“๏ฝ”๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ ๏ผข๏ฝ‰๏ฝ…๏ฝ‚๏ฝ…๏ฝ’ ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ ๏ฝ ๏ฝ”๏ฝ๏ฝ—๏ฝ…๏ฝ’ ๏ฝ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝ” ๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝŠ๏ฝ•๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ผŽ ๏ผฉ๏ฝ† ๏ฝ™๏ฝ๏ฝ• ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝ† ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ผ“๏ผ… ๏ฝ“๏ฝ‰๏ฝ”๏ฝ”๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ… ๏ฝ—๏ฝ‰๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝŽ๏ผŒ ๏ผณ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ๏ฝ‡ ๏ผ‚๏ผค๏ผฏ ๏ผก ๏ผข๏ผก๏ผฃ๏ผซ๏ผฆ๏ผฌ๏ผฉ๏ผฐ๏ผ‚ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ…๏ฝŽ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ“๏ฝ”๏ฝ… ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ”๏ฝ ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ ๏ฝ™๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝ’ ๏ฝ„๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ“๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ–๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ“

            Canadian sex

              sorry not sorry
              thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!"