Emojipasta

A block of text that has been “emojified” meaning that it now contains an absurd number of emojis in them. An attempt to ridicule the use of emojis in text.

Can I 👁 interest 😎 you 👈 in a massage 🙌👐?

Saw 👀 you 👉 bench 💺🇩🇪 pressing 👊 and my goodness 👌 you 👉🙋 are strong 💪! You 👈 must 👫 be sore 🤕 lifting 😼 such heavy 🏋️‍♀️ weights 😔.

Can I 👁 interest 😎 you 👈 in a massage 🙌👐?

Older 👨 daddy 👨🍆 here love 😎😍👼 young 👶 asian 👨 muscle 💪 studs 🙈😌 like 💖 you 👈! I 👁 love ❤🍆💦 to help 🆘 soothe those big 😱 strong 💪🏻💪🏿 muscles 💪 and have you 👈 feeling 😁 fantastic 💯.

In exchanged 💱 I'd 🙏 love 😍🍆 to pleasure 🙏 that meat 🍆 bat 🦇 hiding 🙈 between 👉👈 your 👉🏿 legs 🍗🍑👅 and drink 🍹 your 👉 delicious 😋🤤 baby 👶 nectar 👅?

Sorry 🙇, I've 🙋 been admiring 👩🙌 you 👈 for quite ✅ some time 🕐. Please 🙏 let 🙆 me taste 😋 your 👉 cummies 💦🔫

Tuesday

📢ATTENTION🚨 all my H🕳️LEY😇 brethren👯‍♂️👯👯‍♂️, Shrovetide is CUMMING🍆💦💦 to its CLIMAX🌊🌊 today🗓️‼️Yes🫡 FAT (ASS)🍑🍑 TUESDAY is HERE⚠️⚠️⚠️ Time⌚ to PLUNGE🥽 some kings👑👑 into them king 🍰🍰CAKES🍑🍑 and fill😩🥴 those PĄCKZI🍩🇵🇱 close to BURSTING🤯 with 🧔‍♂️DADDY’S👨‍🍳SPECIAL🥫PRUNE JISSOM👄👄🤤‼️ So GO🚦bare🎽🚫 your 💎HARD💎 NIPS⛰️⛰️ and catch🥍 a BEAD📿NECKLACE📿 if you know what I mean🤭 And don't forget🧵☝️ to DEEP THROAT🐐all the good MEATS🍖🍖🍖 and SWEETS🍭🍬🍭 and SHROVE🤺 a float-sized🛻COCK🐓 into your bussy🍑, thussy⚧️, or pussy🐈, as 🤍CUM🤍 tomorrow it’ll be ASS🐴 WEDNESDAY and 4️⃣0️⃣ days of THIRST🥤🥵 in the HOT🌡️, HOT🩲 DESERT🐪🏜️🙀🙀🙀‼️

Do 👉👌 you 🫵 smell👃something? 👀😳 It’s finally 🎉 PanCAKE 🥞 Tuesday 🗓😂 Make sure 🫡 to fill 🫣 your filthy 🤮😵‍💫 holes ⛳️ with cake 🍑 before the season 🤠 of l🅱️ent begins 😂 Shrove it in 🙊 and then lick 👅 my cake 🥹 all over 🥰 that’s what JeSUS 🤔 wanted ✝️ and don’t ❌ forget ‼️ to cum 🚼 try my 🍌 stack 🙈 covered 🧈 in special sauce 💦 here’s a hint 🕵️‍♀️ it has NUTella 🥜 on it 💩 Remember 🤯 to spread 😫😩 the word 📖 of the lord 👑 or the Pope 🙏⛪️ himself 🤩 will crepe 👀🙀 on over 😷 and leave 😭 his dusty 😶‍🌫️ crusty 🫦 ash 🌫🧎 everywhere 🌚 but your forehead 🧑‍🦲 Send this 💌 to 6️⃣ other pancake 🥞 peckers 😘 if you want 😝 to be filled 🥵 with the holy 🕳 squirt 💦 throughout 😰 the l🅱️ent season🤭

Pocket ravioli😢

😢💔🍝💼 My heart is shattered into a million pieces. 😭 I had been saving my last piece of ravioli 🍝 for the perfect moment, and I thought that moment had come. But as I reached into my pocket 💼 to retrieve it, I fumbled and it fell onto the ground. 😞 The ravioli was ruined, and so was my day. The tears won't stop flowing 😢, and I can't help but think that nothing will ever be good again. 💔

😞👎🏼💔🍝🌧️ Why does life have to be so cruel sometimes? ☹️🤧🍝 My last piece of ravioli, my only source of comfort, now lying in a puddle of rain water ☔️ and dirt 😭. I feel like I've lost a part of myself, and I don't know how to go on 💔.

😢😭👎🏼🍝👋🏼😩😫💔 Why did fate have to be so cruel to me? 😞🌧️ I just wanted to enjoy my ravioli 🍝, to savor every bite 😋, but now it's all ruined 👎🏼. My stomach growls in hunger 😩, but all I can feel is the emptiness and disappointment 😫. I can't believe this happened to me 💔.

😔😞👎🏼🍝🥺🙏🏼💔 I can't help but wonder what I did to deserve this 🤔. Was it something I said or did? 🤷🏻‍♂️ I know it may sound silly, but I wish I could turn back time ⏰ and do things differently. Maybe then my ravioli 🍝 would still be in my pocket 💼, safe and sound. But now, all I can do is pray 🙏🏼 for a miracle to bring my ravioli back to me 💔.

😢👀💔🍝💦😭 Every time I close my eyes, I see my precious ravioli 🍝 lying in the dirt 💦. It's like a constant reminder of my failure 😞. I should have been more careful, I should have been more appreciative of what I had. Now, it's too late 💔.

😩💼🍝😔😫💔 I can't even bring myself to throw away the container that held my ravioli 💼. It feels like the last piece of evidence that it ever existed 😔. But it's empty now, just like my heart 😫. I wish I could go back to the moment before I spilled it, to hold onto it just a little tighter 💔.

😞🍝💔😭👀🌧️💦 I keep replaying the moment in my head, wishing I could have done something to prevent it 💭. But it's no use, the damage is done 💔. And now, even the rain ☔️ seems to mock me, as if adding insult to injury 😔. It's like the universe is conspiring against me, making me suffer for no reason 💔.

😢💔🍝😞😩😫🥺😭 The worst part is, I don't even know what to do now 😔.

Lupercalia

HEY👋 YOU👋 ARE YOU UPSET😤😭💔 YOU DIDN'T GET ANY DICK🍆 VAG🌮✌️ OR ASS🍑 THIS VALENTINE’S DAY💘💘 WELL👏 YOU👏 ARE👏 IN👏 LUCK👏 TODAY📆 IS THE IDES OF FEBRUARY 👉😏👉 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS 🙌😨‼️ IT IS LUPERCALIA🎊 THE ROMAN FESTIVAL🎉🎉 THE CHURCH⛪️✝️ PEGGED🍆🍆 TO THE LEGEND OF ST VALENTINE 🙅‍♂️😇 WHY GOD GOTTA BE A COCKBLOCK❓❌🍆❌ EVER WONDER🤔 WHERE THE “FEBRUA”😩 IN FEBRUARY😫 COMES🤤🍾💦💦💦 FROM⁉️ TAKE OUT YOUR STYLUS✏️ AND TABULA RASA🗒 AND GET READY TO TAKE SOME NOTES📝 CUZ THIS SHIT💩💩 IS ABOUT TO GET EDUCATIONAL🤓🤓 JUST HOW HARDCORE💯💯💯 WAS THIS ANCIENT PAGAN HOLIDAY¿¿🏺🔮HERE’S A HINT: NAKED ROMANS 🔞🔞🔞 TOGA❗️ TOGA❗️ TOGA❗️ NAMED AFTER THE LUPERCAL, THE CAVE🕳 WHERE THE TWIN FOUNDERS OF ROME🏛 ROMULUS ET REMUS👬 WERE SUCKLED🤗🤗 BY THE SHE-WOLF🐺 MMM DAT MILKY MILKY MILK🍼🍼 INSIDE THE CAVE THE RITUAL👹🕯 WOULD BEGIN WITH TWO NAKED🤫 LUPERCI PRIESTS SACRIFICING ☠️👻 A GOAT🐐 AS A REPRESENTATION OF SEXUALITY👅🍒 AND A DOG🐕 RIP CERBERUS🦴 THE TWO PRIESTS WOULD USE THE CEREMONIAL DAGGER🔪 TO SMEAR BLOOD🩸 ON EACH OTHER’S FOREHEAD🤦‍♂️ AND WIPE IT AWAY👋 WITH MILK-SOAKED WOOL🥛🐑 WHILE LAUGHING😆😅 AFTER EATING THE SACRIFICIAL GOAT🍽🥢 THE PRIESTS WOULD CUT THE HIDE INTO STRIPS✂️ AND FASHION SOME INTO THONGS 🩲👙🔛 THE PRIESTS WOULD THEN RUN🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️ AROUND THE CITY👀🙈🍆🍆🍆 USING THE REMAINING BLOODY GOAT STRIPS😳🙄 AS INSTRUMENTS💉 OF PURIFICATION, OR “FEBRUA”😱🤯😵 WOMEN WOULD WELCOME THE LASHES📿📿 AS A BLESSING OF FERTILITY🙌🙏 SPANK ME, DADDY 👨🏻👋😝 MAYBE THIS ALL SOUNDS WILD AND CRAZY🤪 BUT HEY🗣🗣 WHEN IN ROME😏😏 IT’S TRADITION😈😈 SO THAT MAKES IT OKAY👌👈☔️ #LEGALIZECHRISTIANITY‼️ SEND📲 THIS TO 🔟 rHOEmans👯‍♀️ AND YOU’LL BE A VESTAL VIRGIN😙 💅 GET 0️⃣ BACK AND YOU’RE A BARREN BITCH 😣 OR A FALLOW FUCKBOI😖 GET 🔟 BACK AND YOU’RE A BOUNTIFUL BABE💃 GET 2️⃣5️⃣ BACK AND YOU’RE THE FLAMEN DIALIS 🔥 JUPITER’S HIGH🌬🚬 PRIEST😽🪐 GET 5️⃣0️⃣ BACK AND YOU’RE PONTIFEX maXXXimus 🤩🛐 GET 💯 BACK AND YOU’RE A CERTIFIED NYMPHO 🤤🎟🎢🎆 PAX ROMANA MEANS SEX FOR WORLD PEACE🌍✌️🌿

Happy President’s Day

Happy PresiDICK’S 🍆🍌🌽 DAY‼️ Time ⏰⏰ to honor the DADDIES 👬👬 of our nation 🇺🇸🇺🇸 George SLUTsington 👯👯, Benjamin SPANKlin👋🍑, John HanCOCK 🍆🌽💦💦💦 These POUNDING 🔨⚒ fathers ERECTED ⬆️⬆️ their 😻📃CUNTstitutional dongs 😍🍌for LADY LIBERTY 🗽👅🙀 Raise that ASS 🍑 to 💦💦 Abraham LinCUM 💦💦, 🌲 WOODrow Wilson 😏🌲😉, Bill CLIT-on 👌👈, and the CUMmander in chief, 👦🍆👀DONGald tRUMP 🍑🍆👀 Don’t forget Dwight D. EisenWHORE 👀😩 DICKlared war 🔫💣 on those CUMMIES 💦💂💂 Share in ♋️ SUCKonds or you won’t be pounding 🔨that presidential PUSSY 🙀🙀 Get 5️⃣ back and ur a White House HOE 🏠 Get 🔟 back and ur the SUCKretary of state 📔😙🇺🇸 Get 20 back and the First Lady will make u moan 😩😩💦💦💦💦💦 HAPPY JIZZIDENT’S DAY!! Hail to the CHEEKS 🍑🍑🍑

ITS PRESIDENTS DAY SLUTS!! 🚨🚨🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸time to hop onto that founding father dick🍆🍆🍆👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻or should i say founding DADDIES!!!😩😩😩🙌🙌👅👅💦💦 out here tryna get rammed from behind 🍑🍑🍑🍑harder than the rock of MOUNT RUSHMORE☄️☄️⛰🏔🏔george washington mightve been able to survive the harsh ❄️❄️🌬winters🌬❄️❄️ of valley forge, but can he handle the conditions between the sheets🌪💑❓❓❓be the monica Lewinsky 🙋🏻to my bill clinton🙋‍♂️ baby and i wont deny i had 🍆🍆♋️sexual relations♋️🍆🍆 with you!!! crack the whip down harder on your bae than ronald Reagan did on welfare programs💸💸🤷🏼‍♂️🤷🏼‍♂️🤷🏼‍♂️✍🏻send this to FIVE of your baddest presidential PRINCESSES👸🏼🇺🇸🇺🇸👸🏼who will throw the nastiest neck🍆🍆😩😩🙌🙌🌬💦 on this AMERICAN BEAUT OF A DAY😊😊💙🚨❤️ if you get 10 back, be prepared for the president to enter the oval office of you PUSSY tonight🐱🐱💦💦🙌😩😩😩😩😩🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

🎉HAPPY🥳PRESIDICKS🍆😫DAY😛💦2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣ years ⏱ago 🗓our 👏👏fav😍pounding🧈👊🏻😘 father 👴🏻🍆💦and😌main🥺💯bitch💁‍♀️🤭WHOREge😎WashingSLUT🥳💅🍾came💦💦into👉👌this🌎WORLD🌍to ✌️becum💦 🤫the🇺🇸1ST🇺🇸presiDICK😢🍆🤞of👏🥳the💅United🇺🇸Sluts👙Of🤭America🇺🇸🏳️‍🌈send📧📲this➡️to 🔟of😉the😩sluttiest🍑💦💦patriots🔞👙🇺🇸you👇know🤗if you get 🔟 back😏😏you’re👏invited to the ✍️📝constitutional 📝✍️COCKus🍆💦 if you get 5️⃣ back 🤭🤣💁‍♀️ you’re a Mt. Rushmore 🗻👨🏻‍🦳WHORE🍆🍑👙💦if you 👤get 0️⃣ back 💔😹no 🚫 presidick🍆💦 for 🤭you 😭👨🏻‍🦳🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

🇺🇸 Happy PresiDICK’S day all you Patriotic PUSSIES! 🇺🇸💋Today we honor 🙌🏽 the HUNG ⬇️ DADDIES 👨🏼‍🦳👨🏾‍🦳👨🏼‍🦳 of our nation who FOUGHT 👊🏻 for our freedom and SPRAYED 💦 us with their HUGE LOADS‼️ These POUNDING 🔨⚒ fathers ERECTED ⬆️⬆️ their 😻📃CUNTstitutional dongs 😍🍌to BUTTFUCK LADY LIBERTY! 🗽👅🙀 Abe LinCUM, BarCOCK Obama 👨🏾, Bill CLITon, Lyndon BLOWJOBSON 🍑🍆👀 Don’t forget 👀 President Biden’s 👨🏼‍🦳legislation ✍️will 😛pass through🧑‍⚖️CUMgress👩‍⚖️making📈📈🎉 dick 💦 sucking 😈 a 🤩federal 👅 requirement ✅ and 💦SEXecutive 🍆orders 😫✍️to ensure 🇺🇸™️ all pussy👱‍♀️👙is fucked RAW! 🤪👮‍♀️🚔 Share in ♋️ SUCKonds or you’ll get PROSTITUTED 🙀🙀 in the Supreme CUNT 🏛🏛😱 Get 5️⃣ back and ur Monica Lewinsky 👩🏻👩🏻👠 🏠 Get 🔟 back and ur the SUCKretary of state 📔😙🇺🇸 Get 20 back and First Lady Jill 👩🏼👩🏼 will make u MOAN 😩😩💦💦💦💦💦 HAPPY JIZZIDENT’S DAY!! 🍑🍑🍑

log(😅) =💧log(😄)

log(😅) =💧log(😄)

log(🤓😢) = log(🤓) + log(😢)

🪵😅🟰💧🪵😄

log🥲= log🙂/log💧

« Previous
1
…
43
44
45
46
47
…
97
Next »