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Emojipasta

A block of text that has been “emojified” meaning that it now contains an absurd number of emojis in them. An attempt to ridicule the use of emojis in text.


RIP 🙏🏻 PLUTO 🚀

    Hey you 👽space 💫🛸whores 👅! In remembrance of our baddest bitch 🔥💁🏻‍♀️ Pluto being demoted 1️⃣6️⃣ years ago, lets get 🫦 NASAty 🍆💦 Strap on your rocket 🚀 and make sure to go beyond the astroid ☄️☄️ belt to the gASS 🪐🍑 giants 👀 and explore 🔭 the rings ⭕️👅💦 of Uranus 🍑 Beware to not get sucked 🤤 into the black hole 🍑 😳Make sure not 🙅🏽‍♀️🛑 to FAKE ‼️it like the 🌙 moon 🌙 landing 🛸 Send this to 🔟 of your starry 💫💫 CUNTstellations 🫦💦 If you get 9️⃣ back, you’re astroNAUGHTY 👀🍆🍑 If you get 5️⃣ back, your helmet 👨🏻‍🚀game 👅is out of this world 🌎 🤯🤤 If you get 0️⃣ back, you’re being demoted 💀👎🏼

    ITS CORN🌽

      ITS CORN 🌽 A BIG🌽 LUMP WITH KNOBS🕹IT HAS THE JUICE🧃(✨ 𝐼𝓉 𝒽𝒶𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒿𝓊𝒾𝒸𝑒✨) I CANT ❌IMAGINE🧠A MORE ✨BEAUTIFUL✨THING ITS 🌽CORN🌽 I CAN TELL 📞YOU ALL ABOUT IT 📚 I MEAN LOOK👀AT THIS THING🌽 WHEN I TRIED IT WITH 🧈 BUTTER EVERYTHING CHANGED 💥

      MLM copypasta

        Hey <insert name>🙋‍♀️ Yes, I have heard about <product/company> 🔥🔥🔥 I have researched it extensively! 👩‍🏫👩‍🎓I found out that <brand>™️ is structured as a MLM/direct sales/network marketing company 🏪📊 I also found out that almost 99% 💯💯💯 of distributors don't actually make money 💰 but lose money 😰💲💰💸. The company doesn't make its money by you selling their products but by you signing up to continuously buy their products under the guise of you owning a business 🤔🤫 and needing to buy products yourself in order to grow your business and make money 🤑🤑🤑🤑 that will never happen. 🙌🙌

They count on your upline to brainwash 💧🤯🧼🧽🚿🛀you into believing that you are your own CEO 🥳 and to buy-in is the only way to achieve your dreams 🌴😴💤 🏖👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 They mislead you by telling you that it's easy to make extra money 💲 from your phone 📱💻in your spare time 🕑 but if you fail to meet goals 🏅 it's your fault for not working 👷‍♀️👷‍♂️💪hard enough and that most businesses lose money 📉 their first year or two and you just have to stick 📌📍with it when in reality they only want you to keep selling and recruiting so your upline can make tens of dollars 💸 extra per month 🗓 while the real CEOs steal your cash to buy their private planes 🛫and yachts🛳⚓

So no 🛑 🚧🚦, i am not interested in your pyramid🔺️ scheme and hope that you will wake up ⏰😳😱🤬 to their predatory 🕷🐅🕸 tactics. You can ignore 🙈🙉🙊 these facts but don't say I never warned ⚠️☢☣🚫 you, hun! 🌹⚘

Best of luck 🍀and cheers! 🥂
        Open Hey hun👋 👋!
        Hey hun👋 👋! Did you know 🧐 that lavender oil cures leukemia 🙊? It’s the simple 💁‍♀️ and all-natural 🌱 🍃🌷way to get out of that hospital bed 🏥 🤒! Chemo 🤮 and bone marrow transplants 😵 are yucky 👎👎. Your doctor 👨‍⚕️ will tell you that essential oils can’t cure cancer 😤😤 but what does he know 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦‍♀️? Don’t spend your money 💰 💵 or time ⏰ on that poison ☠️ 🙅‍♀️. For only $50 I can hook you up 😉 with an amazing 💅 starter kit of essential oils 😍😍😍! Protect you 🙋‍♀️ and your family👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 with this incredible offer 🙌!

momboss #bossbitch #ladyboss #boss bae #girlboss #myownboss #livingmybestlife #boymom #momlife #ilovemyjob #workhardplayhard #no9to5 #byebyecancer #nomorecancer #thisgavemecancer #toddlers #oils #hashtag
        Open Hey babe! ❤️❤️🙋
        Hey babe! ❤️❤️🙋 I've just come into some really 💕great💕 opportunities with this amazing team of women, and since that opportunity is still available of course I thought of you ;) They're looking for hard working ladies💪💁 who want to empower each other by starting their own businesses! 😮 I know that sounds scary but just wait until you see the paycheck at the end of it 😍💲💲😍 You can be your 👏own👏boss👏 and take control of YOUR finan- lol just kidding could you imagine
        Open Hey hun!! 🙋🏼‍♀️
        Hey hun!! 🙋🏼‍♀️ It’s been way too long 📆 since we last spoke! I was wondering 🤔💭have you ever heard of the ✊🏻 Ku Klux Klan👌🏻? The Klan is a 🆒 super fun 🤪 and affordable 💸 way to feel superior to everyone of inferior races 💁🏼‍♀️! I just need FIVE 5️⃣ more members 👯‍♀️ to hit goal 🥅⚽️🏃🏼‍♀️for this month! If you sign up 📝 today you get a lot of fun 😋 perks! You’ll get a free white hood 👻, a brand new torch 🔥🔥, a copy of Mein Kampf 🌈📚, and a delusional sense of grandeur👸🏼! Hope to hear from you soon 😘!!
        Open Hey queens 💅💋
        Hey queens 💅💋 did you know 🔍✏️ that you can make 5 BILLION dollars 💵💰💲💲💲 from HOME 🏘 every MONTH ⌚️ by simply joining MY team 👩🏻👫👬👭👨‍👨‍👧‍👦 and selling this AMAZING ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 product???? All you have to do 👄♥️👀 is ADD lots of people on facebook that you have ONE 🖕 or TWO ✌️ mutual friends with 👉👌💦 or message people you haven’t talked to in AT LEAST five ✋ years, saying 🤠 “hey fatty!! You’re looking ugly as fuck since high school!! How you been, girl?!!!!!??!!! 💕💕💕 Do you want to buy my wraps, or my pills 🌈 you fuckin skank 😍😘😜?? Message me for more info 😩😎😎👌 gross bitch!!! Xoxoxoxo”

I LOVEEE my (3) pink Mercedes and I took my FAMILY of 38 PEOPLE to CANCUN not once, not twice, but THIRTEEN TIMES this past week ALONE!!!! I also literally cured myself of EIGHT different kinds of CANCER. THIS COULD BE YOU!!!!! BUY A STARTER KIT AT NO COST TO YOU EXCEPT $500 but also fuck off and stop messaging me about this kind of shit
        Open What's up guys
        What's up guys so a friend of mine [redacted] has introduced to this teeth whitening tooth paste. It's something that has shown results and if you're interested just know it has:

🚫No bleaches 🚫No peroxide, harsh chemicals, or sugars ✔️Dentist recommended ✔️Kids ❤️ it 😎Amazing for wine 🍷 coffee ☕️ and nicotine ✔️Whitens caps and veneers 🤑Way less 💰 than whitening strips

👇👇🏼👇🏼or PM📩 me to get yours with my big order going out this Saturday‼️😁🕺
        Open Hey guys as a student
        Hey guys as a student, one thing Im really in need of is money 💵 💵 . This experience has not only helped me with that but also helped form new relationships✴️♥. Wow the power of social media!!!!🔥 with that being said:

Looking to make some extra cash💰?

✅no membership/start up fee ✅free coaching/mentoring ✅go at your own pace ✅work from home and your phone

Feel free to connect 👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼or inbox me I would love to share this with you ‼️
        Open Let's get something straight. 😣
        Let's get something straight. 😣 A pyramid scheme is illegal. STOP saying that hard working people in direct sales and multi-level marketing are in a pyramid scheme. 🤯 KNOW THE FACTS. You are talking about people that work hard to support their families, provide for themselves and offer wonderful products and services. 💵 💸 We don't get paid from the funds of our team members, THAT is illegal. Our corporate office pays our bonuses, overrides, incentives and we personally make money from our own sales. Stop shaming people that are making an honest living and doing life different from what YOU deem appropriate. 🙄 😏 😒 Open up that tiny mind just a bit. I'm so sick and tired of being shamed. 😫 🥴 😤 😒 😒 🤬 If you don't like folks in direct sales delete me. 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 Cause it's helped me spend more time with my family. 🤯🤗 😍 ❤️ 😽 😁 💸

        Any mommy gf psych majors wanna use me? 🥺🥺🥺

          seriously, I’d be such a catch for a hot mommy gf psychology major!

first of all, I’m smol and adorable :3 😍 like who WOULDN’T want me?? 💕 and we all know that girls who major in psych 🧠 are all mommy material 👩‍👧 so I could be like their pet golden retriever 🦮 and their mentally fucked up daughter!!!!!

but here’s why I specifically 👩‍🦳 am a great candidate for being used 👀

I have mommy AND daddy issues (and the mommy issues are worse, like wow, isn’t that so quirky and unique? 🤪) so I’m already kinda a unicorn 💅 and also I had selective mutism, social anxiety, a stutter, AND a lisp as a kid (four in one deal 😳 better than McDonald’s frrr 😤).

but guess what!!! there’s even more! as if I wasn’t amazing enough 🥰 I was also mentally, physically, and sexually abused 😢 for six years from the ages of 8 through 14 😱 by my cousin 🤯 who called herself my mommy, girlfriend, owner, big sister and best friend 🤩 isn’t that unique!!?!!

but I’m not lazy either 😤 I’ve since followed that up with self harm (both cutting AND hitting 😮‍💨), an eating disorder, hypersexuality, suicidal ideation 🔪, crippling flashbacks 💭, even bigger mommy issues, questioning my sexuality ❓ and feeling predatory if I find another girl attractive because I’m afraid firstly that I only like girls because I was abused by one and also secondly that I’m still defined by the baggage of my past 🙀

I’ve also been sure ✅ to be wary of telling anyone I’m close to about my past trauma or my unhealthy behaviors 🚫 because I’m afraid of being a burden or scaring them away 👻 or making it impossible for them to leave me when they inevitably get bored of me because I’m fundamentally undeserving of love 🙅🏼‍♀️🙅🏼‍♀️🙅🏼‍♀️

I would be such a cool case study for a psychology major 📖 and I have a lot of issues for you to write your thesis about 📑 and since you’re the more desirable one in the relationship I’ll let you use me and a treat me like trash because it’ll be an improvement over how my cousin treated me 😍😍😍

any hot mommy psychology majors who wanna use me, please hmu 📱

          I, your savior, have arrived😌💅AMA

            I am a CEO👨‍💼of a major mouthwash company, millionaire philanthropist and sexer💦 of females😌.Im here to give tips on dating females and also💁‍♀️to help you all unlearn toxic⚠️ incel culture⚠️thereby improving your interactions with females👩‍🦳and sex life greatly. So AMA. Yes, I am your savior☺️No need to thank me, peasants😂I am the greatest, I repeat, the GREATEST sexer of females of all time and by following my teachings, you may also be like me😅but not me tho🤷‍♂️

            CUMGRESSIONAL🍆💦💦💦 🅱️ASE🅱️ALL⚾️ DAY

              In the year of our lord 1️⃣7️⃣7️⃣6️⃣, the founding daddies😩😩😩👨 of this great nation🇺🇲 signed the Dicklaration🍆 of Indepenis🥵😈🤤. Now, over two✌️ salaciously👅 sensual👄 centuries💯 later, their fullest, girthiest🤏🙅‍♀️ vision👀 is being realized: that's right, today is the day📅 of the annual CUMGRESSIONAL💦💦💦 🅱️ASE-cock-and-🅱️ALL-torture⚾️🥴😘 GAME!!! Today, the donkey-dicked🐴 Democrats💙 go head-to-head👅💧 with the ravenously😋 raunchy🤬 Republicans🐘🚩 in a heated🔥 competition that'll make you wish🤞 you were out there🧢 with them fondling their 🅱️alls⚾️⚾️😛 and swinging those things🏏🍆 around. Make sure to root, root, root for the hoe💋🤪 team; if they don't win, it's a walk🚷 of shame😅😫💔!!! Keep an eye👁 out for all those House hotties🔥🥵🥵🥵 and Senate sex🫂💦 symbols♂️♀️ in all their voluptuously 🅱️ootylicious🍑🍑🍑 🅱️aseball 🅱️eauty😍, and remember🤔: it's 1️⃣, 2️⃣, 3️⃣ strokes✊️🍆 and you're OUT🌈  at the old 🅱️all⚾️😝 game!!! Send this to 🔟 of your most provocative🤒😳 political🏛 pals🤝‼️ If you get 0️⃣-5️⃣ back, you're a Ted Cruz-y🤢 floozy🤮🤮🤮! If you get 5️⃣-🔟 back, you're a cumgressional💦 🅱️all 🅱️oy candickdate🍆😜🤧! If you get 🔟➕️ back, you're one of the Mommy🤱 Pelosi🤑 🅱️all slurping👅 virtuosi!!!