Skip to content

Emojipasta

A block of text that has been “emojified” meaning that it now contains an absurd number of emojis in them. An attempt to ridicule the use of emojis in text.


Lupercalia

    HEY👋 YOU👋 ARE YOU UPSET😤😭💔 YOU DIDN'T GET ANY DICK🍆 VAG🌮✌️ OR ASS🍑 THIS VALENTINE’S DAY💘💘 WELL👏 YOU👏 ARE👏 IN👏 LUCK👏 TODAY📆 IS THE IDES OF FEBRUARY 👉😏👉 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS 🙌😨‼️ IT IS LUPERCALIA🎊 THE ROMAN FESTIVAL🎉🎉 THE CHURCH⛪️✝️ PEGGED🍆🍆 TO THE LEGEND OF ST VALENTINE 🙅‍♂️😇 WHY GOD GOTTA BE A COCKBLOCK❓❌🍆❌ EVER WONDER🤔 WHERE THE “FEBRUA”😩 IN FEBRUARY😫 COMES🤤🍾💦💦💦 FROM⁉️ TAKE OUT YOUR STYLUS✏️ AND TABULA RASA🗒 AND GET READY TO TAKE SOME NOTES📝 CUZ THIS SHIT💩💩 IS ABOUT TO GET EDUCATIONAL🤓🤓 JUST HOW HARDCORE💯💯💯 WAS THIS ANCIENT PAGAN HOLIDAY¿¿🏺🔮HERE’S A HINT: NAKED ROMANS 🔞🔞🔞 TOGA❗️ TOGA❗️ TOGA❗️ NAMED AFTER THE LUPERCAL, THE CAVE🕳 WHERE THE TWIN FOUNDERS OF ROME🏛 ROMULUS ET REMUS👬 WERE SUCKLED🤗🤗 BY THE SHE-WOLF🐺 MMM DAT MILKY MILKY MILK🍼🍼 INSIDE THE CAVE THE RITUAL👹🕯 WOULD BEGIN WITH TWO NAKED🤫 LUPERCI PRIESTS SACRIFICING ☠️👻 A GOAT🐐 AS A REPRESENTATION OF SEXUALITY👅🍒 AND A DOG🐕 RIP CERBERUS🦴 THE TWO PRIESTS WOULD USE THE CEREMONIAL DAGGER🔪 TO SMEAR BLOOD🩸 ON EACH OTHER’S FOREHEAD🤦‍♂️ AND WIPE IT AWAY👋 WITH MILK-SOAKED WOOL🥛🐑 WHILE LAUGHING😆😅 AFTER EATING THE SACRIFICIAL GOAT🍽🥢 THE PRIESTS WOULD CUT THE HIDE INTO STRIPS✂️ AND FASHION SOME INTO THONGS 🩲👙🔛 THE PRIESTS WOULD THEN RUN🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️ AROUND THE CITY👀🙈🍆🍆🍆 USING THE REMAINING BLOODY GOAT STRIPS😳🙄 AS INSTRUMENTS💉 OF PURIFICATION, OR “FEBRUA”😱🤯😵 WOMEN WOULD WELCOME THE LASHES📿📿 AS A BLESSING OF FERTILITY🙌🙏 SPANK ME, DADDY 👨🏻👋😝 MAYBE THIS ALL SOUNDS WILD AND CRAZY🤪 BUT HEY🗣🗣 WHEN IN ROME😏😏 IT’S TRADITION😈😈 SO THAT MAKES IT OKAY👌👈☔️ #LEGALIZECHRISTIANITY‼️ SEND📲 THIS TO 🔟 rHOEmans👯‍♀️ AND YOU’LL BE A VESTAL VIRGIN😙 💅 GET 0️⃣ BACK AND YOU’RE A BARREN BITCH 😣 OR A FALLOW FUCKBOI😖 GET 🔟 BACK AND YOU’RE A BOUNTIFUL BABE💃 GET 2️⃣5️⃣ BACK AND YOU’RE THE FLAMEN DIALIS 🔥 JUPITER’S HIGH🌬🚬 PRIEST😽🪐 GET 5️⃣0️⃣ BACK AND YOU’RE PONTIFEX maXXXimus 🤩🛐 GET 💯 BACK AND YOU’RE A CERTIFIED NYMPHO 🤤🎟🎢🎆 PAX ROMANA MEANS SEX FOR WORLD PEACE🌍✌️🌿

    Happy President’s Day

      Happy PresiDICK’S 🍆🍌🌽 DAY‼️ Time ⏰⏰ to honor the DADDIES 👬👬 of our nation 🇺🇸🇺🇸 George SLUTsington 👯👯, Benjamin SPANKlin👋🍑, John HanCOCK 🍆🌽💦💦💦 These POUNDING 🔨⚒ fathers ERECTED ⬆️⬆️ their 😻📃CUNTstitutional dongs 😍🍌for LADY LIBERTY 🗽👅🙀 Raise that ASS 🍑 to 💦💦 Abraham LinCUM 💦💦, 🌲 WOODrow Wilson 😏🌲😉, Bill CLIT-on 👌👈, and the CUMmander in chief, 👦🍆👀DONGald tRUMP 🍑🍆👀 Don’t forget Dwight D. EisenWHORE 👀😩 DICKlared war 🔫💣 on those CUMMIES 💦💂💂 Share in ♋️ SUCKonds or you won’t be pounding 🔨that presidential PUSSY 🙀🙀 Get 5️⃣ back and ur a White House HOE 🏠 Get 🔟 back and ur the SUCKretary of state 📔😙🇺🇸 Get 20 back and the First Lady will make u moan 😩😩💦💦💦💦💦 HAPPY JIZZIDENT’S DAY!! Hail to the CHEEKS 🍑🍑🍑
      ITS PRESIDENTS DAY SLUTS!! 🚨🚨🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸time to hop onto that founding father dick🍆🍆🍆👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻or should i say founding DADDIES!!!😩😩😩🙌🙌👅👅💦💦 out here tryna get rammed from behind 🍑🍑🍑🍑harder than the rock of MOUNT RUSHMORE☄️☄️⛰🏔🏔george washington mightve been able to survive the harsh ❄️❄️🌬winters🌬❄️❄️ of valley forge, but can he handle the conditions between the sheets🌪💑❓❓❓be the monica Lewinsky 🙋🏻to my bill clinton🙋‍♂️ baby and i wont deny i had 🍆🍆♋️sexual relations♋️🍆🍆 with you!!! crack the whip down harder on your bae than ronald Reagan did on welfare programs💸💸🤷🏼‍♂️🤷🏼‍♂️🤷🏼‍♂️✍🏻send this to FIVE of your baddest presidential PRINCESSES👸🏼🇺🇸🇺🇸👸🏼who will throw the nastiest neck🍆🍆😩😩🙌🙌🌬💦 on this AMERICAN BEAUT OF A DAY😊😊💙🚨❤️ if you get 10 back, be prepared for the president to enter the oval office of you PUSSY tonight🐱🐱💦💦🙌😩😩😩😩😩🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
      🎉HAPPY🥳PRESIDICKS🍆😫DAY😛💦2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣ years ⏱ago 🗓our 👏👏fav😍pounding🧈👊🏻😘 father 👴🏻🍆💦and😌main🥺💯bitch💁‍♀️🤭WHOREge😎WashingSLUT🥳💅🍾came💦💦into👉👌this🌎WORLD🌍to ✌️becum💦 🤫the🇺🇸1ST🇺🇸presiDICK😢🍆🤞of👏🥳the💅United🇺🇸Sluts👙Of🤭America🇺🇸🏳️‍🌈send📧📲this➡️to 🔟of😉the😩sluttiest🍑💦💦patriots🔞👙🇺🇸you👇know🤗if you get 🔟 back😏😏you’re👏invited to the ✍️📝constitutional 📝✍️COCKus🍆💦 if you get 5️⃣ back 🤭🤣💁‍♀️ you’re a Mt. Rushmore 🗻👨🏻‍🦳WHORE🍆🍑👙💦if you 👤get 0️⃣ back 💔😹no 🚫 presidick🍆💦 for 🤭you 😭👨🏻‍🦳🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
      🇺🇸 Happy PresiDICK’S day all you Patriotic PUSSIES! 🇺🇸💋Today we honor 🙌🏽 the HUNG ⬇️ DADDIES 👨🏼‍🦳👨🏾‍🦳👨🏼‍🦳 of our nation who FOUGHT 👊🏻 for our freedom and SPRAYED 💦 us with their HUGE LOADS‼️ These POUNDING 🔨⚒ fathers ERECTED ⬆️⬆️ their 😻📃CUNTstitutional dongs 😍🍌to BUTTFUCK LADY LIBERTY! 🗽👅🙀 Abe LinCUM, BarCOCK Obama 👨🏾, Bill CLITon, Lyndon BLOWJOBSON 🍑🍆👀 Don’t forget 👀 President Biden’s 👨🏼‍🦳legislation ✍️will 😛pass through🧑‍⚖️CUMgress👩‍⚖️making📈📈🎉 dick 💦 sucking 😈 a 🤩federal 👅 requirement ✅ and 💦SEXecutive 🍆orders 😫✍️to ensure 🇺🇸™️ all pussy👱‍♀️👙is fucked RAW! 🤪👮‍♀️🚔 Share in ♋️ SUCKonds or you’ll get PROSTITUTED 🙀🙀 in the Supreme CUNT 🏛🏛😱 Get 5️⃣ back and ur Monica Lewinsky 👩🏻👩🏻👠 🏠 Get 🔟 back and ur the SUCKretary of state 📔😙🇺🇸 Get 20 back and First Lady Jill 👩🏼👩🏼 will make u MOAN 😩😩💦💦💦💦💦 HAPPY JIZZIDENT’S DAY!! 🍑🍑🍑

      log(😅) =💧log(😄)

        log(😅) =💧log(😄)
        log(🤓😢) = log(🤓) + log(😢)
        🪵😅🟰💧🪵😄
        log🥲= log🙂/log💧

        Chinese Spy Balloon

          HEY 👋 all you 😘 kinky SPY sluts 😈 feeling a little HOT 🥵 under 👎 this chinese HOT 🥵 air 🎈balloon?? well I 🙋‍♀️have just 🤪 the thing 🧐 for you 😍💁‍♀️ A nice WARM ⭐️ CUM STORM ⭐️ is inCUMMING 🤪🤪 YOUR 👏 WAY 😋 according to the weather ⛈️⛈️ balloon 💭 make sure you 😜 have your CUMbrella ☔️ becuase it’s 🤩 getting 💁‍♀️ real WET 💦😩 out there🥵🥵 if you’re 🫣 feeling extra 😜 spicy 🌶️ you can have 💁‍♀️ our LIMITED TIME 💷 SEAMEN NOODLES 🍜 brought directly 😝 to your house 🏠 via our sexy 😏 chinese spy strippers 😫😫😩 send this to 🔟 of your HOTTEST 🥵 hong kong whores 🫦🫦 if you get 🔟 replies back then daddy 👅 china 🇨🇳 will cum 💦 to your house and give you a a BIG 😝 juicy 💦💦 BUTT FUCK 😜😜😏😈 if you get 5️⃣ replies back ☔️😩then you’re 🫵 a sexy little 😵‍💫 semen demon 😈😈😈 if you get 0️⃣ replies back 🤢 then you’re 🙄 a boring limp dick 😬 LOSER 🤮 who’s 😂🤣 getting NUKED 😝 by daddy CCP’s CUM 💦 STRIKE 😫

          DANCING 🕺💃WALKING 🚶🚷 REARRANGING FURNITURE 🪑🛋️

            DANCING 🕺💃WALKING 🚶🚷 REARRANGING FURNITURE 🪑🛋️ BABS IS 👵 SHOPPING 🛍️ I LET THE BIRD OUT OF THE CAGE 🦅🐓
            DANCING🕺🏻WALKING🚶🏻‍♂️REARRANGING FURNITURE 🪑 BABS IS 👵🏼SHOPPING 🛒 I LET THE BIRD OUT OF THE CAGE 🦅
            DANCING 🕺 WALKING 🚶‍♂️REARRANGING FURNITURE 🪑 BABS IS SHOPPING 🛍 I LET THE BIRD OUT OF THE CAGE 🦅
            DANCING WALKING❗❗🗣🗣
            DANCING, WALKING 
REARRANGING FURNITURE,
BABS IS SHOPPING, 
I LET THE BIRD OUT OF THE CAGE

            IT IS JANUARY 31ST‼️THIS IS THE LAST DAY OF THE MONTH‼️

              🛑⚠️‼️ ALERT ‼️ WARNING ‼️⚠️🛑 IT IS JANUARY 31ST‼️THIS IS THE LAST DAY OF THE MONTH‼️🤯😳😱 NEXT UP ☝️☝️☝️ FEBRUARY 😰🥶🤮 ‼️BETTER GET YOUR ❤️ 💕 VALENTINE'S DAY 💕 ❤️ GIFTS NOW‼️ SO YOU 🛑DON'T🛑 DISAPPOINT 😢😔😓 YOUR LOVED ONES 🥰 BECAUSE YOU'RE A FORGETFUL 🤔😬 FUCK 🤬‼️ HOW HARD 🧐🤔 IS IT TO SET A REMINDER ANYWAY⁉️❓❗ OUR PHONES HAVE INTEGRATED CALENDARS 📆🗓️ MFER‼️ ⚠️🛑‼️ IF YOU ARE LOOKING TO GET LAID IN TWO WEEKS, HEED MY WARNING ‼️🛑⚠️

              Every Valentine’s Day copypasta