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Cursed Thoughts

Cursed thoughts shared in discussions that is ridiculous and absurd in nature that it became a meme. Usually about popular characters and people.

Male vaporeon

    Its a response to the infamous Vaporeon copypasta arguing that the male Vaporeon is better.

    Well well well. It appears you’re a fellow vappy fucc connoisseur. However screw the female version. You get those same ol two holes in literally everything else. the MALE vappy is the real star of the show. Those long slippery diccs they have full mobility control with like a tentacle are the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull off anywhere to the side of the road, or go into a public restroom at the beach, get each other aroused, and have the fucc of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone with that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you. Its ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a vappy dicc was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy. And that’s only the dicc. Due to having internal balls, they’re much bigger, and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve. Giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond. There’s still more though. Due to having a thicc, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dicc point backwards (takes some training) YOU CAN BE FUCKED, WHILE ALSO FUCKING YOUR VAPPY AT THE SAME TIME!!! ME-OWTH, THAT’S FUCKING RIGHT!!! BUT! BUT! BUT! THERE’S STILL FUCKING MORE!!!!!! Like, holy shit male vaps are the GODS of fucc. While you’re fuccing your male vappy, possibly while also being fucced by him, their booty is ON their tail, at the base, which is the thiccest part, because that’s where the biggest muscles are, meaning, while your dicc is in there, IT’S BEING FUCKING MASSAGED BETTER THAN EVEN A VAG COULD ACHIEVE!!! AGH! It should be fucking ILLEGAL how amazing male vaps are for fucc! Well guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fuccer like me. That’s right. THERE’S. EVEN. FUCKING. MORRRRRRE!!! Say you like to be a little restrained, You don’t need a sylveon’s feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon’s psychic, or leafeon’s vines. vappies got that shit covered too! DID YOU EVEN SEE THAT TAIL?!? It’s basically a boa constrictor. In a non sexual sense, it’s my favorite part of a vappy. it’s basically their main part about them. But if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won’t be going anywhere if the vappy wraps you up in that thing. Are you a super kinkster? Like pure fantasy fetishes that aren’t possible irl? Such as, soft vore? Well guess fucking what. IT JUST BECAME POSSIBLE! They can be solid as they pass your lips (passed where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air, like a ghost type, but who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can’t feel it unless it’s moving. You can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you’re a weirdo who likes digestion, don’t worry about killing them with absorption, eventually they’ll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you’re a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure QnQ they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body. Making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past! I would love to say there’s even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fucc the respect it deserves. Umbreons may bwee my favorite, but, damn. vappies really want to get that top spot from me. It’s a really close call.
    However, screw the female version. You get those same ol' two holes in literally everything else. The male Vappy is the real star of the show.
    
    Those long slippery dicks. They have full mobility control with like a tentacle are the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull off anywhere to the side of the road, or go into a public restroom at the beach. Get each other aroused, and have the fuck of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the Vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone with that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you, it's ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a Vappy dick was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy.
    
    And that's only the dick. Due to having internal balls, they're much bigger and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve, giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond.
    
    There's still more though. Due to having a thick, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dick point backwards (takes some training), you can be fucked, while also fucking your Vappy at the same time! Me-owth, that's fucking right!
    
    But, but, but! There's still fucking more! Like, holy shit, male Vaps are the gods of fuck. While you're fucking your male Vappy, possibly while also being fucked by him, their booty is on their tail, at the base, which is the thickest part, because that's where the biggest muscles are. This means that while your dick is in there, it's being fucking massaged, better than even a vag could achieve! Agh! It should be fucking illegal because how amazing male Vaps are for fuck!
    
    Well, guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fucker like me. That's right. There's. Even. F*cking. More! Say you like to be a little restrained. You don't need a Sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic powers, or Leafeon's vines. Vappies got that shit covered too! Did you even see that tail?! It's basically a boa constrictor. In a non sexual sense, it's my favorite part of a Vappy. It's basically their main part about them. But, if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won't be going anywhere if the Vappy wraps you up in that thing.
    
    Are you a super kinkster? Do you like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible IRL? Such as, soft vore? Well guess fucking what. It just became possible! They can be solid as they pass your lips (passed where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air, like a ghost type. But, who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving. You can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with absorption. Eventually, they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure (QnQ), they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body, making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past!
    
    I would love to say there's even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fuck the respect it deserves. Umbreons may be my favorite. But, damn, Vappies really want to get that top spot from me. It's a really close call. 

    Transfem puppygirl Jesus

      From a Tweet by @girlcel_ who had since privated her Twitter to avoid harassment.

      puppygirl jesus: y,youre like,,, the coolest person ive ever met,, you're like a goddess,,, i wanna spend the rest of my life serving you..
      girl she's getting high with: dude,, aren't you like,, the daughter of god or something? are you allowed to say that..?
      puppygirl jesus: [completely out of it] hehee,,, if ur a goddess and im the daughter of god, does that make you my mommyy~
      girl she's with: no, dude i- you're hot or whatever like i fw you but,,, i think if i play along with this vibe ill go to hell or smth..
      puppygirl jesus: [concerned] o-oh,,, am i getting mommy in trouble? puppy's sorry... y-you can punish me if you want,, i,, im a good girl i can take SO many lashings we can count them if you want we-

      You see me at a bar. We flirt. I invite you home. You eagerly accept.

        You see me at a bar. We flirt. I invite you home. You eagerly accept. We walk and the flirting gets heavier. I open the door. You can't wait to fuck. I leave you alone on the bed for a minute. I come back with lingerie. We make out and start to get naked. I ask you to reach out under the bed and take something from the box. You look down and take a lego piece and ask if that's right. That's right. Put it in. You sure, you ask? Yes, I say. Put it in. You do, hesitantly. Again. Again? Yes, take another. Again. You do, unsure if you want to stay. Again. Again. Again. You sweat. You start to get worried. It's too late to be weirded out now. You wonder if you can escape before the next one. You can't. Again. Again. More and more. The box is getting empty. Again. You put the final piece in. I moan loudly and you hear everything, somehow, shuffling around. You can't even move at this point. You're too exhausted. I push a little and a lego millennium falcon falls out of me, perfectly assembled. Somehow, that's still the best sexual experience of your life.

        I used to furiously masturbate to dr kleiner from half life 2.

          Back when I was around 13~14 I got gifted half life 2 by a steam friend of mine, I immediately downloaded the game and started playing, I was having fun until I made it to kleiners lab. I looked at dr kleiner and started feeling things I'd never felt before, something about him, his bald head, his coat... I couldn't take it. I immediately got a boner and started stroking it a little bit, all while doctor kleiner was talking, I got to the point where it was too much, and I busted all over my monitor, right on dr kleiners bald slappy head, from that day on, every time my parents weren't home I would log onto my computer and furiously jork it to dr kleiner, I even got sfm and learned how to model so I could create him naked and make animations of him twerking... Eventually I realised how much of a problem it was and managed to stop with the help of a friend, but now everytime I play half life 2 I start blushing when I see dr kleiner.

          i also mainly play lash and the only counterplay was someone else picking lash

            i also mainly play lash and the only counterplay was someone else picking lash which ruined my match as a whole because i was tearing myself apart between being annoyed by lash but also not being able to say anything bad because i was too enamored by watching lash fly down from heavens tits first and kick my face in with his boot as i could do nothing more than wish i could say "thank you" but i couldnt. because he broke my jaw. and my hands were too busy to use ASL because i was rubbing my shit crazy style before lash finished me off. by killing me, of course. not in the other, perverted sense. 

            if you were the toriel cosplayer who gave me a blowjob at dragoncon, PLEASE inbox me. i think you took my wallet. it looks like an NES

              Started from a now deleted Tumblr account by ‘thelegendofzeldamajorasmask’ who made the original post about getting a blowjob from a toriel cosplayer who accidentally took his wallet. It instantly became a meme because of how funny it was and many different variations of the copypasta had since been created.

              Toriel from Undertale (original)

              if you were the toriel cosplayer who gave me a blowjob at dragoncon, PLEASE inbox me. i think you took my wallet. it looks like an NES

              Rainmaker from Binding of Isaac

              If you're the Rainmaker cosplayer who gave me a blow job at comic con, PLEASE contact me. I think you took my wallet. It looks like an NES. 

              Mori Calliope from Hololive

              IF YOU WERE THE KIARA COSPLAYER THAT GAVE ME A BLOWJOB AT THE HOLOLIVE COUNCIL PANEL, PLEASE GIVE ME BACK MY VAPE, IT IS CRANBERRY GRAPE FLAVOURED AND I THINK YOU STOLE IT FROM ME, THANK YOU