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Cursed Thoughts

Cursed thoughts shared in discussions that is ridiculous and absurd in nature that it became a meme. Usually about popular characters and people.

You see me at a bar. We flirt. I invite you home. You eagerly accept.

    You see me at a bar. We flirt. I invite you home. You eagerly accept. We walk and the flirting gets heavier. I open the door. You can't wait to fuck. I leave you alone on the bed for a minute. I come back with lingerie. We make out and start to get naked. I ask you to reach out under the bed and take something from the box. You look down and take a lego piece and ask if that's right. That's right. Put it in. You sure, you ask? Yes, I say. Put it in. You do, hesitantly. Again. Again? Yes, take another. Again. You do, unsure if you want to stay. Again. Again. Again. You sweat. You start to get worried. It's too late to be weirded out now. You wonder if you can escape before the next one. You can't. Again. Again. More and more. The box is getting empty. Again. You put the final piece in. I moan loudly and you hear everything, somehow, shuffling around. You can't even move at this point. You're too exhausted. I push a little and a lego millennium falcon falls out of me, perfectly assembled. Somehow, that's still the best sexual experience of your life.

    I used to furiously masturbate to dr kleiner from half life 2.

      Back when I was around 13~14 I got gifted half life 2 by a steam friend of mine, I immediately downloaded the game and started playing, I was having fun until I made it to kleiners lab. I looked at dr kleiner and started feeling things I'd never felt before, something about him, his bald head, his coat... I couldn't take it. I immediately got a boner and started stroking it a little bit, all while doctor kleiner was talking, I got to the point where it was too much, and I busted all over my monitor, right on dr kleiners bald slappy head, from that day on, every time my parents weren't home I would log onto my computer and furiously jork it to dr kleiner, I even got sfm and learned how to model so I could create him naked and make animations of him twerking... Eventually I realised how much of a problem it was and managed to stop with the help of a friend, but now everytime I play half life 2 I start blushing when I see dr kleiner.

      i also mainly play lash and the only counterplay was someone else picking lash

        i also mainly play lash and the only counterplay was someone else picking lash which ruined my match as a whole because i was tearing myself apart between being annoyed by lash but also not being able to say anything bad because i was too enamored by watching lash fly down from heavens tits first and kick my face in with his boot as i could do nothing more than wish i could say "thank you" but i couldnt. because he broke my jaw. and my hands were too busy to use ASL because i was rubbing my shit crazy style before lash finished me off. by killing me, of course. not in the other, perverted sense. 

        if you were the toriel cosplayer who gave me a blowjob at dragoncon, PLEASE inbox me. i think you took my wallet. it looks like an NES

          Started from a now deleted Tumblr account by ‘thelegendofzeldamajorasmask’ who made the original post about getting a blowjob from a toriel cosplayer who accidentally took his wallet. It instantly became a meme because of how funny it was and many different variations of the copypasta had since been created.

          Toriel from Undertale (original)

          if you were the toriel cosplayer who gave me a blowjob at dragoncon, PLEASE inbox me. i think you took my wallet. it looks like an NES

          Rainmaker from Binding of Isaac

          If you're the Rainmaker cosplayer who gave me a blow job at comic con, PLEASE contact me. I think you took my wallet. It looks like an NES. 

          Mori Calliope from Hololive

          IF YOU WERE THE KIARA COSPLAYER THAT GAVE ME A BLOWJOB AT THE HOLOLIVE COUNCIL PANEL, PLEASE GIVE ME BACK MY VAPE, IT IS CRANBERRY GRAPE FLAVOURED AND I THINK YOU STOLE IT FROM ME, THANK YOU

          Sucking your own dick is one of the most red pilled heterosexual acts you could possibly do

            Comment
            byu/Oreo_Gore from discussion
            inkitchencels
            Sucking your own dick is one of the most red pilled heterosexual acts you could possibly do as long as you think about a woman while doing it.
            
            Putting a full cock into your mouth might sound gay, but I don't subscribe to the kantian idea of a strict maxime. After all, you're not gay because you masturbate as long as you masturbate to women. Touching dick might make you gay but not if you touch your own.
            
            Following that logic, sucking dick might be gay, but sucking your own dick to a picture or thought of a woman is not homosexual deviancy, it's an ascended form of heterosexual masturbation + you are getting your dick sucked.
            
            So it's not just not gay to suck your own cock, it's one of the most heterosexual things imaginable as you are actively receiving head, putting you into the alpha position.

            The year is 2045. Norway lives under SWEDISH RULE.

              Its a shitpost meme from 4chan referencing a BBC erotica book with a synopsis similar to the one in the meme.

              The year is 2045. Norway lives under SWEDISH RULE. All Norwegian men are fed hormones, sissified, and dominated. Norwegian women are breeding stock for Swedish alphas.
              
              ‘GAME OVER, NORWEGIAN BOY!’

              Fallout New Vegas version

              The year is 2045. New California lives under LEGION RULE. All NCR men are sissified, and dominated. Californian women are breeding stock for LEGION alphas.
              
              ‘GAME OVER, NCR BOY!’
              The year is 2281. The Mojave lives under CEASARS LEGION RULE. All NCR men are fed hormones, sissified, and dominated. NCR women are breeding stock for LEGION alphas.
              
              ‘GAME OVER, REPUBLIC BOY!’

              Cyberpunk 2077 version

              The year is 2077. Night city lives under ARASAKA RULE. All chooms are fed hormones, sissified, and dominated. Night city women are breeding stock for Arasaka alphas.
              
              ‘GAME OVER, CHOOM!’

              Elder Scrolls

              The year is 201 of the fourth era. Skyrim is under NORD RULE. All mer are fed hormones, sissified, and dominated. Imperial women are breeding stock for Nord alphas.
              
              'SKYRIM BELONGS TO THE NORDS, MILK DRINKER'
              The year is 400 of the third era. Morrowind is under DUNMER RULE. All Argonians are fed skooma, sissified, and dominated. Argonian women are breeding stock for N'walphas.
              
              'MORROWIND BELONGS TO THE DARK ELVES, HISTCEL'.

              Byzantine & Ottoman

              The year is 1453. Byzantium lives under OTTOMAN RULE. All Greek men are fed hormones, sissified, and dominated. Greek women are breeding stock for Turkish alphas.
              
              ‘GAME OVER, BYZANTINE BOY!’
              

              Old England

              The year is 1066. England lives under NORMAN RULE. All English men are fed hormones, sissified, and dominated. English women are breeding stock for Norman alphas.
              
              'GAME OVER, SAXON BOY!'

              65 million BC

              The year is 65 million BC. The Earth lives under MAMMAL RULE. All dinosaurs are fed hormones, birdified, and dominated. Sauropsid women are breeding stock for synapsid alphas.
              
              'GAME OVER, ARCHOSAUR BOY!'