Archive of all known CSGO copypasta about pro players to Valve’s meme response to Hiko’s missed shots to the 48 year old man from Somalia.
"actually i remember one time, we were playing against virtus.pro, nuke, and it was 15-5 to vp. we were playing as t and vp are ct. and fallen said, 'guys, if you think we are good, let's prove it now.' 15-5."
"did we come back"?
"of course not. 16-5."
They know me as the headshot machine. They know me from the highlight they see. They know me from the matches they watch. They talk about my one taps and they think for me aiming is so easy. I just go into a match and that's it. But my aim, it's comes from more than just a game. For me - aim - it is about precision... This part people don't see. This part, it does not show up in highlights. When I sit down to play everything already is a part of me...
Somewhere in Ukraine, Andrii "B1ad3" Gorodenskyi sleeps soundly as he snuggles with his dogs in his bed. Suddenly, he hears his phone ring. He grunts as he takes his phone off the nightstand, careful not to wake his sleeping sweethearts. He’s surprised to see that the name on his screen, as he usually doesn’t call, especially not this early into the day.
“Hello, Denis, why’re you calling this early?” He asks, rubbing the sleep and the weariness from his eyes.
“Yes, I’m calling about my daughter. You think you could babysit her tonight for the game?”
“Uhm, sure I guess,” Andrii says as he glances at his canine companions snoozing soundly, “I’m sure she could play with the dogs while she’s here.”
He hears a laugh emanate from his phone’s speaker. “Thanks, she’s really been excited for that.”
Andrii yawns, and then cocks his head. His curiosity gets the better of him. “May I ask why, Denis?”
“Well, as long as my sweet babygirl is away to play with the pups, Papatronic can go and take Gambit to the fucking dogpound.”
i think its hilarious u kids talking shit about electronic. u wouldnt say this shit to him at lan. hes jacked. not only that but he wears the freshest clothes, eats at the chillest restaurants and hangs out with the hottest dudes. yall are pathetic lol
the phantom exterior like fish eggs interior like suicide wrist-red. I could exercise you, this could be your phys-ed. Cheat on your man homie AAGH I tried to sneak through the door man! Can't make it. Can't make it. Shit's stuck. Outta my way son! DOOR STUCK! DOOR STUCK! PLEASE! I BEG YOU! We're dead. You're a genuine dick sucker.The phantom, exterior like fish eggs
interior like suicide wrist-rags,
I could exercise you, this could be your phys-ed
cheat on your man homie AGHHH I tried to sneak through the door, man! Can't make it, can't make it, the shit's stuck! Outta my way son! DOOR STUCK! DOOR STUCK! Please! I beg you! We're dead! You're a g-g-genuine dick sucker! [both die] Yo I'm adding this guy to friends.
-Rep After a good game in csgo, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship. I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life. When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard cock push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.