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CSGO

Archive of all known CSGO copypasta about pro players to Valve’s meme response to Hiko’s missed shots to the 48 year old man from Somalia.


Papatronic can take Gambit to the dogpound

    Denis "electronic" Sharipov is a Russian professional Counter-Strike: Global Offensive player who currently plays for Natus Vincere.
    Somewhere in Ukraine, Andrii "B1ad3" Gorodenskyi sleeps soundly as he snuggles with his dogs in his bed. Suddenly, he hears his phone ring. He grunts as he takes his phone off the nightstand, careful not to wake his sleeping sweethearts. He’s surprised to see that the name on his screen, as he usually doesn’t call, especially not this early into the day.
    
    “Hello, Denis, why’re you calling this early?” He asks, rubbing the sleep and the weariness from his eyes.
    
    “Yes, I’m calling about my daughter. You think you could babysit her tonight for the game?”
    
    “Uhm, sure I guess,” Andrii says as he glances at his canine companions snoozing soundly, “I’m sure she could play with the dogs while she’s here.”
    
    He hears a laugh emanate from his phone’s speaker. “Thanks, she’s really been excited for that.”
    
    Andrii yawns, and then cocks his head. His curiosity gets the better of him. “May I ask why, Denis?”
    
    “Well, as long as my sweet babygirl is away to play with the pups, Papatronic can go and take Gambit to the fucking dogpound.”

    its hilarious u kids talking shit about electronic

      Denis "electronic" Sharipov is a Russian professional Counter-Strike: Global Offensive player who currently plays for Natus Vincere.
      i think its hilarious u kids talking shit about electronic. u wouldnt say this shit to him at lan. hes jacked. not only that but he wears the freshest clothes, eats at the chillest restaurants and hangs out with the hottest dudes. yall are pathetic lol

      DOOR STUCK

        the phantom exterior like fish eggs interior like suicide wrist-red. I could exercise you, this could be your phys-ed. Cheat on your man homie AAGH I tried to sneak through the door man! Can't make it. Can't make it. Shit's stuck. Outta my way son! DOOR STUCK! DOOR STUCK! PLEASE! I BEG YOU! We're dead. You're a genuine dick sucker.
        The phantom, exterior like fish eggs
        interior like suicide wrist-rags,
        I could exercise you, this could be your phys-ed
        cheat on your man homie AGHHH I tried to sneak through the door, man! Can't make it, can't make it, the shit's stuck! Outta my way son! DOOR STUCK! DOOR STUCK! Please! I beg you! We're dead! You're a g-g-genuine dick sucker! [both die] Yo I'm adding this guy to friends.

        -Rep after a good game in csgo

          -Rep your friend's steam profile
          -Rep After a good game in csgo, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship. I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life. When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard cock push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.

          I was playing some DM and then XANTARES joined

            I even used the safe word
            It happened in 2018, I was playing some DM to warm up and shit but then XANTARES joined and started to kill me. I told him I wasn't feeling well, but he didn't stop, he couldn't... I even used the safe word but he kept one tapping me. (the safe word was "onliner").
            
            His response was "I don't care. I want it now." the headshots he gave me was terrifying. he one tap me down while I was crying and begging him to stop. When he was finished, he didn't even recognize what he had done. I tried to explain what he did to me, what he did wrong. he had absolutely no remorse. I called BULLYHUNTERS, BULLYHUNTER 47 joined the game but XANTARES raped him too...
            
            I had dealt with some mental health issues after that and stopped playing CSGO at all. Since back then I'm afraid of joining any DM sessions because I feel like XANTARES will come and rape me again.
            
            After the incident, I told everything to the police... Their response was "What are you talking about ?" the looks they gave me were terrifying. I was lost my hope, as soon as I walked back to the door one of the officers called me "noob" and "fetöcü". The same night that police officer sent a comment on my Steam profile that says "R U lookin up for some matchmaking ;)" which is harassment and rape...
            
            I feel so vulnerable and fragile... I know there are more victims hiding but if I did you can do it too! Let's unite and fight back together against these rapist pro players! and please subscribe to my onlyfans, that would be lit

            NA is just so free.

              CSGO
              As an European it was always hard for me to understand American culture. What was fascinating for me is that they like bragging about their freedom which was weird for me, because I didn't think that I have any less freedom than them. I always thought 'What is the difference'. However after this game I finally understand it. NA is just so free.