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CSGO

Archive of all known CSGO copypasta about pro players to Valve’s meme response to Hiko’s missed shots to the 48 year old man from Somalia.


FaZe Clan blew a 15-11 lead in the 2018 Boston Major

    Don’t let this distract you from the fact that FaZe Clan blew a 15-11 lead in the 2018 Boston Major to Cloud9 giving NA its first and only Major in CS:GO history.
    Don’t let OpTic winning Masters Reykjavik 2022 distract you from the fact that FaZe Clan blew a 15-11 lead in the 2018 Boston Major to Cloud9 giving NA its first and only Major in CS:GO history.

    They know me as the headshot machine

      They know me as the headshot machine. They know me from the highlight they see. They know me from the matches they watch. They talk about my one taps and they think for me aiming is so easy. I just go into a match and that's it. But my aim, it's comes from more than just a game. For me - aim - it is about precision... This part people don't see. This part, it does not show up in highlights. When I sit down to play everything already is a part of me...

      Papatronic can take Gambit to the dogpound

        Denis "electronic" Sharipov is a Russian professional Counter-Strike: Global Offensive player who currently plays for Natus Vincere.
        Somewhere in Ukraine, Andrii "B1ad3" Gorodenskyi sleeps soundly as he snuggles with his dogs in his bed. Suddenly, he hears his phone ring. He grunts as he takes his phone off the nightstand, careful not to wake his sleeping sweethearts. He’s surprised to see that the name on his screen, as he usually doesn’t call, especially not this early into the day.
        
        “Hello, Denis, why’re you calling this early?” He asks, rubbing the sleep and the weariness from his eyes.
        
        “Yes, I’m calling about my daughter. You think you could babysit her tonight for the game?”
        
        “Uhm, sure I guess,” Andrii says as he glances at his canine companions snoozing soundly, “I’m sure she could play with the dogs while she’s here.”
        
        He hears a laugh emanate from his phone’s speaker. “Thanks, she’s really been excited for that.”
        
        Andrii yawns, and then cocks his head. His curiosity gets the better of him. “May I ask why, Denis?”
        
        “Well, as long as my sweet babygirl is away to play with the pups, Papatronic can go and take Gambit to the fucking dogpound.”

        its hilarious u kids talking shit about electronic

          Denis "electronic" Sharipov is a Russian professional Counter-Strike: Global Offensive player who currently plays for Natus Vincere.
          i think its hilarious u kids talking shit about electronic. u wouldnt say this shit to him at lan. hes jacked. not only that but he wears the freshest clothes, eats at the chillest restaurants and hangs out with the hottest dudes. yall are pathetic lol

          DOOR STUCK

            the phantom exterior like fish eggs interior like suicide wrist-red. I could exercise you, this could be your phys-ed. Cheat on your man homie AAGH I tried to sneak through the door man! Can't make it. Can't make it. Shit's stuck. Outta my way son! DOOR STUCK! DOOR STUCK! PLEASE! I BEG YOU! We're dead. You're a genuine dick sucker.
            The phantom, exterior like fish eggs
            interior like suicide wrist-rags,
            I could exercise you, this could be your phys-ed
            cheat on your man homie AGHHH I tried to sneak through the door, man! Can't make it, can't make it, the shit's stuck! Outta my way son! DOOR STUCK! DOOR STUCK! Please! I beg you! We're dead! You're a g-g-genuine dick sucker! [both die] Yo I'm adding this guy to friends.