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Female Flame Atronach from Oblivion

    Flame Atronach in the Oblivion Remastered

    Its an infamous horny copypasta about sexing the Flame Atronach from Oblivion. It originally came from an anonymous comment on a NSFW artwork of the Flame Atronach on R34 site back in 2012. The comment got reposted everywhere and eventually became a meme within the Elder Scrolls community.

    The released of Oblivion Remastered has reignited its popularity since its in-game model has only gotten hotter.

    I am going to have sex with this female Flame Atronach from Oblivion. I find the Flame Atronaches in The Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion sexy. However, their body is made up of 87% fire, and 100% fire surrounds them. That could kill me if I tried to have sex with one. To remedy this, the Flame Atronach casts a spell on me making me resistant to fire. Keep in mind, resistant is not the same as immune. I still take damage. It is either 1 point or 0 points of damage each second I am having sex with her. Just because a particular second caused 0 points of damage, does not mean that I did not feel anything, it just means I took no damage. I am not going to rush through having sex with this Flame Atronach. I make sure I pleasure anything I have sex with-especially non-humans! I'd rather take damage than not pleasure the Flame Atronach. The Flame Atronach and I go to the Planes of Oblivion to have sex. When having sex with non-humans, it is ALWAYS sexier to have sex in their natural habitat rather than a human's natural habitat. The Planes of Oblivion is the Flame Atronach's natural habitat.

    Original full version

    Flame Atronach copypasta 
    I am going to have sex with this female Flame Atronach from Oblivion. I find the female Atronaches in The Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion sexy. However, their body is made up of 87% fire, and 100% fire surrounds them. That could kill me if I tried to have sex with one. To remedy this, the Flame Atronach casts a spell on me making me resistant to fire. Keep in mind, resistant is not the same as immune. I still take damage. It is either 1 point or 0 points of damage each second I am having sex with her. Just because a particular second caused 0 points of damage, does not mean that I did not feel anything, It just means that I took no damage. I am not going to rush through having sex with this Flame Atronach, I make sure I pleasure anything I have sex with, especially non-humans! I'd rather take damage than not pleasure the Flame Atronach.The Flame Atronach and I go to the Planes of Oblivion to have sex. When having sex with non-humans, it is ALWAYS sexier to have sex in their natural habitat rather than a human's natural habitat.Before we went into the Planes of Oblivion, the Flame Atronach let all the Daedra know that we are just here for sex. The Daedra will not attack us because they know I am here at the Planes of Oblivion on sexual business. This includes the Dremora. However, the Dremora Marknyaz thinks that I am going to be an easy recruit for becoming a follower of Mehrunes Dagon considering that I am having sex with a Flame Atronach. However, I have no interest in becoming a Daedra. 
    I am going to have sex with this female Flame Atronach from Oblivion. I find the female Atronaches in The Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion sexy. However, their body is made up of 87% fire, and 100% fire surrounds them. That could kill me if I tried to have sex with one. To remedy this, the Flame Atronach casts a spell on me making me resistant to fire. Keep in mind, resistant is not the same as immune. I still take damage. It is either 1 point or 0 points of damage each second I am having sex with her. Just because a particular second caused 0 points of damage, does not mean that I did not feel anything, It just means that I took no damage. I am not going to rush through having sex with this Flame Atronach, I make sure I pleasure anything I have sex with, especially non-humans! I'd rather take damage than not pleasure the Flame Atronach.

The Flame Atronach and I go to the Planes of Oblivion to have sex. When having sex with non-humans, it is ALWAYS sexier to have sex in their natural habitat rather than a human's natural habitat.

Before we went into the Planes of Oblivion, the Flame Atronach let all the Daedra know that we are just here for sex. The Daedra will not attack us because they know I am here at the Planes of Oblivion on sexual business. This includes the Dremora. However, the Dremora Marknyaz thinks that I am going to be an easy recruit for becoming a follower of Mehrunes Dagon considering that I am having sex with a Flame Atronach. However, I have no interest in becoming a Daedra.

    Flame Atronach (Good ending)

    Good ending for the Flame Atronach meme
    Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flame Atronach is objectively the most huggable Daedroth? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of cake, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm Mortal and Flame Cloak, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.


    Powerplex speech

      Its from the opening scene of S03E06 of Invincible where Powerplex was introduced with a monologue of him seeking revenge towards [Title card].

      You're not listening! This isn't about me! This is about the thousands of people Invincible murdered, and the countless other lives Invincible destroyed! Why is Invincible above the law?! Why does Invincible never pay for his crimes? Where is Invincible when people are trying to put their world back together?! What do I want? I want the truth! I want justice! I want INVINCIBLE!
      You're not listening! This isn't about me! This is about the thousands of people [Title card] murdered, and the countless other lives [Title card] destroyed! Why is [Title card] above the law?! Why does [Title card] never pay for his crimes? Where is [Title card] when people are trying to put their world back together?! What do I want? I want the truth! I want justice! I want [Title card]!
      You’re not listening! This isn’t about me. This is about the thousands of people [Invincible] murdered and the countless other lives [Invincible] destroyed. Why is [Invincible] above the law? Why does [Invincible] never pay for his crimes? Where is [Invincible] when people are trying to put their world back together?

Okay, buddy, we hear you. So, what do you want?

What do I want? I want- I want the truth! I want justice! I want [Invincible]!

      Eggman announcement

        Eggman announcement copypasta
        Original

        Its the infamous video of Eggman announcing to the whole world that Shadow pissed on his wife and he’s ending the world because of that.

        I've come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right. He took his hedgehog fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my FUCKING wife, and he said his dick was THIS BIG, and I said that's disgusting. So I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com. Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. That's right, baby. Tall points, no quills, no pillows, look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the earth. That's right, this is what you get! My SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on the MOOOON! How do you like that, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss DROPLETS hit the fucking earth, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!

        I smoke crack twice a week. You stay sober everyday. Guess which one of us is winning?

          I smoke crack twice a week. You stay sober everyday. Guess which one of us is winning?
          byu/MakeTheRightChoice_ indrugscirclejerk
          I smoke crack twice a week. You stay sober everyday. Guess which one of us is winning?

Let me break something down for the willfully average: not all drug use is created equal. Not everyone who smokes crack is a “crackhead.” That’s a word you use to simplify a world you don’t understand. I smoke crack twice a week. Like clockwork. Not out of addiction, not out of desperation, but because I’ve discovered something 99% of you never will: how to weaponize intensity.

Let me paint a picture.

I wake up at 5:12 a.m. I don’t need an alarm. My body just knows. I drink a glass of water (with electrolytes, obviously), I stretch, I thank God or the simulation or whatever runs this world, then I sit cross-legged in complete silence until I feel it’s time. Then I smoke crack. One or two hits. Not to get "high." I’m not chasing a feeling. I’m tuning my brain like a Formula 1 car before a race.

And then the day begins.

By 6:00 a.m. I’ve already reorganized my entire file system, built out a Notion template for the next five years of my life, cleaned the grout between every bathroom tile, and written three emails that get read like poetry.

You know what the average sober person is doing at 6:00 a.m.? Snoozing an alarm on a mattress that smells like anxiety and broken dreams. You stumble to the kitchen and think you’re a warrior because you made black coffee without sugar. That’s your peak. That’s the big flex for your day.

Meanwhile I’ve already conquered tasks you’ve been procrastinating for a year.

Let’s keep going.

The mailman walks by my apartment every morning. He’s got that defeated look in his eye. Like his soul left his body in 2009 and nobody told him. He moves like time is a punishment. I wave to him. He doesn’t wave back. I don’t blame him. He probably saw me through the blinds, shirtless, typing 160 WPM while doing calf raises and thought, “Why isn’t that me?” But he’ll never ask. Too much pride. Too little energy.

Cops drive by. I nod. I have nothing to fear. You think they’re scary? I’ve stared into the core of my psyche on a Tuesday afternoon while my oven made whispering noises. I’ve already made peace with chaos. A badge doesn’t scare me. A Glock doesn’t scare me. I've fought ego death with nothing but a cracked screen and Bluetooth jazz.

My neighbor is a sober guy. He drinks kombucha and listens to Joe Rogan. He meal preps. He’s got a vision board and a 401(k). He also has dead eyes. I asked him once what he thinks about when he’s alone. He said “usually just work stuff or fantasy football.” I almost cried. That’s it? That’s the entire inner world of the "healthy" man? No visions? No cosmic jokes? No wars between angels and intrusive thoughts?

You ever feel your cells vibrate like a symphony of pure intent? No? I have. Last Thursday. On crack.

I’ve had moments on this substance where time split open like a rotten fruit and I saw everything. Every lie, every truth, every reason we fear honesty. I’ve smoked crack and realized I was still in love with a girl from 6th grade, then laughed about it and rewired the emotional circuit live on the spot. Can kombucha do that? Can cold showers do that?

I doubt it.

I’m not saying you should smoke crack. In fact, most of you shouldn’t. You don’t have the structure, the ritual, the respect for power. You’re the type of people who drink six beers and text your ex like a feral animal. You can’t even handle McDonald’s responsibly. Crack would eat you alive. But me? I broke it down. I studied it. I conquered it. And now it serves me.

My brain is sharper than yours. My thoughts are faster. My fears are smaller. My output is massive. You fear “losing control.” I lost it once and realized there was nothing to fear in the first place.

So next time you judge a smoker like me, remember: you’re not better because you’re sober. You’re just slower, duller, and probably still lying to yourself about why you wake up tired every day despite 8 hours of sleep.

Enjoy your avocado toast and your podcasts. I’ll be in the Clarity Zone, rewriting the software of existence with a smile on my face and a Bic in my hand.

          Sometimes when I am bored, I go into the garden, cover myself in dirt and I pretend I am a carrot/radish.

            Its an old copypasta that originated from an old skit on Youtube titled “I’m Enjoying A Treat, Derrick!“.

            I know nobody will see my status, but sometimes, when I am bored, I go into the garden, cover myself in earth and I pretend I am a carrot.
            Sometimes when I am home alone I bury myself in the dirt in my garden and pretend to be a carrot
            I know no one will read this, but sometimes I like to take a shovel go into the garden and dig myself into the ground and pretend that I'm a radish

            I swiped (I wiped)

              I wiped copypasta

              Its a meme that started from the Batman Arkham Asylum sub where its used whenever you get bamboozled by images with slide button that trick you into thinking its a multiple image post. Alternatively you can also comment “I wiped” as a reference to this joke.

              against my better judgment I put my thumb on my phone screen and moved it in a lateral motion towards the left, only to be bamboozled cause there was indeed no second image as the little 1/2 symbol in the corner indicated and it was indeed a prank at my expense yet I still proceeded to fall for it despite my initial fears warning me 
              Against my own better judgement, I made a lateral motion with my thumb across the image, under the assumption that it would reveal a new image to my perception. However, this was not the case. I was deceived by a false marker in the top right corner that indicated multiple images attached to one post. Unfortunately, this was an artifact of the original image, and not a true indicator of multiple images attached. 
              Upon scrolling to this post, I had originally thought it would be multiple images, due to the presence of a pair of dots at the bottom, and a pair of numbers in the top right corner. Upon viewing this combination of Ul elements, I had wrongly assumed that this post contained multiple images. Unassumingly, I had placed my right thumb upon the screen where this post was located, and proceeded to drag my right thumb from the right of my phone screen to the left. However, as I began to wipe, a mysterious weariness began to loom over me as I realised that this post may not be what it seems. As I continued to drag my right thumb across my screen, to my horror, I saw the post move to the left of my screen and a new post appear from the right. I had originally thought I would be safe from horrible tricks such as this, but I was gravely mistaken. It was too late for me, and I had wiped to far to go back. The original post had gone too far to the left of my screen, and I watched in horror as the post left my screen and made way for a new one. It had happened. I had wiped on a post that I had originally thought contained multiple images, when indeed it was a trick to make me wipe. As an overwhelming amount of shame surged through me, I placed my right thumb on the left side of my phone screen, and prepared to swipe back. I had been bamboozled, and I was too far gone to change my fatal mistake. As I wiped back to the original post, I couldn’t stop thinking of how such a simple trick had completely bamboozled me, betrayed me into a false sense of security, thinking I was safe from posts such as this. As I finally returned to this post, overwhelmed with shame, i decided to enter the comments and place an image of my own to hopefully commend my actions. As I scrolled through the photo roll of my smartphone, I continued to dwell on the shame of my actions. I knew that there was no undoing my mistake, but I could possibly keep a shred of dignity by announcing my mistake. I decided to locate this image of Man, knowing its significance to posts such as these. As I selected this image, I knew that this amount of shame was surreal, and there was no act that could make a person more sorry than wiping on a fake post. As I finalised my comment I thought. Never again. I mustn’t let another post bamboozle me like this, for the sheer amount of shame and trauma it has caused it nothing short of fatal. I will not wipe. No more.

              Robert Downey Jr. meme

                
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