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Eggman announcement

    Its the infamous video of Eggman announcing to the whole world that Shadow pissed on his wife and he’s ending the world because of that.

    I've come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right. He took his hedgehog fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my FUCKING wife, and he said his dick was THIS BIG, and I said that's disgusting. So I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com. Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. That's right, baby. Tall points, no quills, no pillows, look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the earth. That's right, this is what you get! My SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on the MOOOON! How do you like that, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss DROPLETS hit the fucking earth, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too! 

    Kai Havertz, the footballing enigma, is a man of many talents

      Kai Havertz copypasta
      source
      Kai Havertz, the footballing enigma, is a man of many talents—most of which remain hidden, even to him. Purchased by clubs as if he were a Renaissance masterpiece, Havertz has mastered the art of being everywhere and nowhere on the pitch at the same time. He’s a striker who doesn’t score, a midfielder who doesn’t pass, and a winger who doesn’t cross. Truly, he’s the Swiss Army Knife of football—with all the tools missing.
      
      Commentators describe his performances as “elegant,” which is code for “didn’t touch the ball much, but looked graceful jogging around.” Defenders love him because marking Havertz is like babysitting a ghost. Fans debate his best position with such fervor you’d think he was a Rubik’s Cube, except no one ever solves it.
      
      And yet, his biggest talent might be his ability to look like he’s on the verge of greatness—permanently. Every scuffed shot or misplaced pass is met with a furrowed brow, a glance at the heavens, and the hope that maybe, just maybe, next week he’ll explode into action. But like a slow-cooking roast, Havertz’s time to shine is always “just a little longer.”
      
      In a world obsessed with instant gratification, Kai Havertz reminds us of a timeless truth: sometimes, nothing happens, and that’s okay.

      The amount I fucking use vlc is insane man, almost as insane as I must be for what I do with it

        The amount I fucking use vlc is insane man, almost as insane as I must be for what I do with it
        
        I download every season of every show I love
        
        Parks and rec, the office, breaking bad, king of the hill, Futurama, corner gas, everybody loves Raymond, everybody hates Chris, rino 911, Brooklyn 99 etc etc etc
        
        Than I goto the vlc play list section and get to work
        
        I open every single show, which often looks like (scrubs season 1, scrubs seasons 2 etc than Futurama season 1, Futurama season 2) because they often come in organized folders thank God
        
        I organize all the seasons so Rino 99 gets it's section and Chris gets his section
        
        Then the real work begins. I drag a handful, maybe 10 episodes to the top of what eventually becomes this massive list.
        
        I drag episodes 1-10 and manually move them in between episodes 1-10 of a different show, so it looks like Futurama season 1 episode 1, Simpsons season 1 episode 1, scrubs season 1 episodes 1, rino 99 episode 1 etc etc
        
        Then it's Futurama season 1 episode 2, Simpsons season 1 episode 2, etc
        
        The list gets so massive it takes forever to grab 10 episodes or more and slowly drag them to the top, the text is so tiny and you lose your place, gotta play an episode at every final drop off so you know where the next drop off should be ( next to that playing episode)
        
        It can take me anywhere from 4 hours to 10 of mind numbing staring at tiny text with my blurry vision and white screen, but the ends so worth it
        
        It's the closest thing to quality TV you can get, thousands of hours of only your favorite shows in order
        
        But don't accidently hit any of the sort buttons like 'title" or you lose everything since your last save
        
        I've lost 4 hours before doing that
        
        Save it once it's all done, multiple copies because it's so valuable and thanx to vlc remembering what you last watched you can watch every show from start to finish in order and it's amazing

        I own a Guass Rifle for home defence

          Its the “Musket for home defense” copypasta but changed to gauss rifle used by Necrons from Warhammer 40K.

          I own a Gauss Rifle for home defence, since that's what the founding Triarchs intended. Four ruffians break into my tomb, "What the Devil?!" As I grab my steel powder-coated wig and Khet'Tuhki rifle. Blow a Resurrection Orb sized crater through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my Guass ring weapon on the second man. Miss him entirely because it's wide-beam, and nails the Cryptek's scarab. I have to resort to the C'tan Shard mounted at the top of the Sarcophagus loaded with scatter-beam shot. "Tally Ho, Lads!" The shot shreds two men in the blast. The sound and extra tears in Space-Time set off Tomb World alarms. Fix bayonet, and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting for the Mechanicus to arrive since molecular Guass bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding Triarchs intended.

          I own a charge lance for home defense

            Charge lance from Rimworld

            Its the “Musket for home defense” copypasta but changed to the charge lance from RimWorld.

            Own a charge lance for home defense, since that's what tynan intended. Four raiders break into my map tile. "What the devil?" As I grab my human leather cowboy hat and rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first child, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's awful quality and nails the bulk goods trader's muffalo. I have to resort to the slug turret mounted at the top of the killbox loaded with uranium, "Tally ho lads" the uranium shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off the nearby ancient danger. switch to an elephant tusk and charge the last terrified waster. He bleeds out waiting on the medicine colonist to arrive since that guy is currently overdosing on flake. Just as tynan intended 

            I’m sick of Magic Bullet Outis

              Magic Bullet Outis copypasta

              Its the Xiangling copypasta but changed to Magic Bullet Outis from Limbus Company.

              I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Magic Bullet Outis. I try to play Regret Faust. My Magic Bullet Outis deals more damage. I try to play Wild Hunt Heathcliff. My Magic Bullet Outis deals more damage. I try to play Manager Don Quixote. My Magic Bullet Outis deals more damage. I want to play burn. The best team needs Magic Bullet Outis. I want to play Captain Ishmael and Blade Lineage Meursault - they both want Magic Bullet Outis. She grabs me by the throat. I save for her. I pull for her. I give her all the SP support passives. She isn't satisfied. I shard Dawn Office Sinclair. "I don't need this much burn count" she tells me. "Give me more magic bullets." She grabs LCCB Ryoshu and forces her onto the bench for the support passive. "You just need to double slot me. I can deal more damage with Magic Bullet E.G.O." I can't pull for magic bullet E.G.O. I don't have enough lunacy. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end" She takes aim with her E.G.O. weapon. She says "I remember the day when it offered me the contract." There is no hint of sadness in her eyes. Nothing but pure, AOE dark flame application. What a cruel world. 

              Hear me out. All signs point to Kim Kitsuragi being a serial killer.

                I was just replaying the game today and couldn't shake this feeling after investigating the corpse of the working class woman's husband.
                
                Why is Kim so dismissive of the possibility that the man was shoved while drunk? Usually Kim is willing to explore all avenues but he seems to very quickly write this death off as an "accident" related to drinking. Almost as if he is trying to stifle any further investigation. He even cuts Harry off when calling into the station to report the body to be sure no further field autopsy is completed.
                
                The force required to crack a skull like that isn't generated during a typical slip and fall incident. It seems more likely that someone stalked the man after seeing him drunk and pounced when he was at his most vulnerable point. Kim has the training and ability to tail a potential victim and stage the crime scene so that it looks like an accident.
                
                The timing makes sense. At the point you find the body Kim has been in Martinaise for long enough and Harry was completely out after his bender during the exact time the "accident" took place. Even if the body is discovered later than day 3 Kim could have easily done it. Harry is able to participate in mischief after Kim goes to sleep, who says Kim isn't able to committ murder while Harry is arguing with Mr. Limbic and Reptile Brain? Naive fools, that's who.
                
                Finally, Kim lets it slip that he has seen this before multiple times. Really Kim? How often does this specific incident happen. He doesn't say that sometimes it's acute poisoning. He says he's seen this exact situation multiple times. I think this is an unintentional admission that Kim is a sequence killer who has been stalking the ultra drunks of Revachol, waiting until they are too intoxicated to notice his approach and then pushes them with such force they crack their skulls and die. If he fails to kill them the drunks are so far gone they can't even remember what happened, let alone identify Kim as the assailant. And to top it all off when the body finally is found, Kim comes, investigates the crime scene, and finds no foul play. It's the perfect crime with the perfect cover up.
                
                Sorry to break this to all the fans of Kim Kitsuragi. All signs point to Kim being a brutal serial killer of drunks. Kim's five steps ahead playing 27D chess while everyone else is playing tic tac toe and trying to find their gun.
                
                Harry better watch his back before he ends up having an "unfortunate" fall.