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The Perfect Hentai

    closes book yeah, like that's ever gonna happen
    No rape, no ugly fat 50 year old pedophile, no bdsm, no fetishes, no tentacles, completely normal sex, not a harem (although they can be done well), just a couple showing how much they love each other. And its romantic, cute, and feels genuine. I have only seen one other hentai do this, but this has one advatage over it. The dialogue is absolutely positively perfect. Instead of the girl saying "OH MY GOSH ONI CHAN, YOUR SEXUAL REPRODUCTIVE ORGAN IS CURRENTlY ENTERING THE PART OF MY BODY USED FOR SEXUAL REPRODUCTION IN A PLEASURABLE WAY" every 0.0000000002 nano seconds screaming it in an annoying voice, the conversations during the sex actually work perfectly. They talk about how much they love each other, and only briefly, lemme say it again, BRIEFLY mention how it feels every seconds or so. And they only talk occasionally making the situation more intimate. Ladies and Gentleman, the perfect hentai.

    Penis

      NTA. Your penis, your rules.
      If my penis gets hard and decides that it wants sex but I don't, am I still required to have sex anyway? If that violates my consent, does that mean my penis is raping me? And on the flip side, if I violate my penis rights by using viagra, does that mean I'm raping my own penis?

      Equality in 2120

        Who wrote my fantasy into a copypasta?
        The year is 2120
I've received my pink money from my beautiful and powerful female boss at my pink job so I can go buy some pink food at the pink grocery store.
Jonesing for a fruit salad
Approach a pink employee
"Excuse me where are the oranges?"
I realized my mistake too late
"I-I mean the pinks, where are the pinks at? haha"
The pink police arrive almost immediately
"This here is the rapist ma'am?"
"Yes, that's him"
10 years minimum in the absence of green penitentiary for sexual assault
It's okay I guess. Anything for equality as my mom's once said.

        accidentally masturbated to straight porn

          "accidentally"
          i am a gay man and i accidentally masturbated to straight porn. i was browsing a gay porn site, so you know, i figured there wouldn't be any women in my gay porn. i found one video whose thumbnail looked promising so i clicked on it and it started mid-sex. the bottom was facedown into the bed in some black lace dress. that should have been a big warning sign, but i assumed it was some sissy fetish thing. not my cup of tea, but the top was hot and really going to town on her so i stuck around. 
after the guy (and i) finished, the girl sat up and that's when i saw it... her tits. you should have seen my face. a visage of true terror. i just sat there in shock, contemplating what i had just done. when i broke free of my stupor, i whispered "no hetero" but i fear it wasn't enough

          ９７％ ｏｆ ｔｅｅｎａｇｅｒｓ

            Justin bieber? This takes me back...
            ９７％ ｏｆ ｔｅｅｎａｇｅｒｓ ｗｏｕｌｄ ｃｒｙ ｉｆ ｔｈｅｙ ｓａｗ Ｊｕｓｔｉｎ Ｂｉｅｂｅｒ ｏｎ ａ ｔｏｗｅｒ ａｂｏｕｔ ｔｏ ｊｕｍｐ． Ｉｆ ｙｏｕ ａｒｅ ｏｎｅ ｏｆ ｔｈｅ ３％ ｓｉｔｔｉｎｇ ｔｈｅｒｅ ｗｉｔｈ ｐｏｐｃｏｒｎ， Ｓｃｒｅａｍｉｎｇ ＂ＤＯ Ａ ＢＡＣＫＦＬＩＰ＂ ｔｈｅｎ ｃｏｐｙ ａｎｄ ｐａｓｔｅ ｔｈｉｓ ｔｏ ａｌｌ ｙｏｕｒ ｄｉｓｃｏｒｄ ｓｅｒｖｅｒｓ

            BoofMaster and roofies

              I gotta get my boof
              Throwaway account for obvious reasons. I'm gonna keep it short and sweet because I just came back from the hospital. Yesterday my friend John and I went to one of the clubs that recently opened up after the lock down. We were drinking and dancing and in general having a great time, considering it was just two lads at the club. Suddenly I notice a bag of pillies on the floor. The degenerate inside me gets almost an instant boner. So I pick the pills up and try to ascertain what they might be. I flip the pills to check for markings and in huge letters appeared the word "ROCHE". So I decided to google what they were, and lo and behold, I realized I had just stumbled upon some motherfucking roofies.

First I felt a little disgusted. Finding roofies on the floor of a club? Fuck this was almost 100% going to be used for something nefarious. Then, I felt a little relieved - this motherfucker just lost his rape pills thank fuck. Then, I felt a little excited - cuz they call me the boofmaster in my social circle (I hang out with other degenerates obviously) and I had never boofied a roofie.

So I immediately dip from the club. Tell John that I gotta get my boof on and he understood immediately. I go home and proceed to put an entire pill in my ass. Now, I have no idea how strong these were but holy shit. They knocked me on my ass almost immediately (no pun intended). I was quickly becoming incoherent so I decided to go to bed. Next thing I remember is waking up to three shadows above my head looking very concerned. One was my dad, the other two were nurses. I'm still in a pretty confused state of mind so I try to get up and see that what's happening. After I regain some coherence, I get updated on what has happened. Apparently my Dad came into my room late at night only to find me with my pants undone and drooling like a fucking mad man and my eyes rolled up. He freaked the fuck out and called the EMT on me. Everything is better now, but I still can't face my dad because he found the bag of pills and the EMT explained to him what they were, as well as the mode of ingestion. FUCK. Wish me luck boys, I have to go out for a family trip with him soon.