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I am very mad. I drove all the way to CSU to play in a tournament

    Posted by someone in the Colorado Melee Facebook group after a tournament in 2015, this has been SSBM most iconic and popular copypasta.

    I am very mad. I drove all the way to CSU to play in a tournament, get stuck in traffic and lost against this retarded ass sheik. Down threw tech chase and wouldn't stop shino stalling I really cannot think straight right now. I offered to MM him for more than $20. Nope. I thought I would have made it out of pools if I knew how to fucking buffer roll. But they didn't even give me the frames to do it. Bullshit, just straight up bullshit. Probably will never go to a tournament that gay ass sheiks enter ever again. This definitely ruined my day. 
    I am very mad. I drove all the way to CSU to play in a tournament, get stuck in traffic and lost against this retarded ass sheik. Down threw tech chase and wouldn't stop shino stalling
I really cannot think straight right now.
I offered to MM him for more than $20. Nope.
I thought I would have made it out of pools if I knew how to fucking buffer roll. But they didn't even give me the frames to do it. Bullshit, just straight up bullshit.
Probably will never go to a tournament that gay ass sheiks enter ever again. This definitely ruined my day.

    Melee is not a fighting game

      Source
      Melee is not a fighting game. You can't compare it to those other fighting games. Melee is simply a masterpiece. A masterpiece that was not meant to be. Melee was a beautiful accident. It was a rushed game that translated into a very complex, deep execution heavy fighting game full of complex hidden techniques. 20 years after its release, people were still coming up with new techniques.

Melee is not a fighting game, it's simply the best figthing game ever created by man. No human could have intentionally created that masterpiece. That's why it had to be an accident. A gift from the gods.

Melee should not he called a fighting game like those other games. Melee should be set apart. Just like Gods set themselves apart from mortals

      Jmook

        Jmook
        If JMook grabs me✊, I'm not mashing out🎮 I'm leaning in💋 
        Who is Jmook? For the blind 😎, it is Jlight 💡🔌. For the hungry 🍆, it is Jbread 🍞. For the sick 😷, it is the Jcure 🚫😃🤓. For the sad 😭, it is Jjoy 😂. For the poor, it is the Jtreasure 💰⛏; for the debtor ✔❎💵, it is Jforgiveness 👭 
        You think another Sheik is better than JMook? You're going to get Jake DiRatio'd 
        Jmook is so cool and hot and his sheik is really good. If i was running an esports organziation. I'd love to have him representing it. Sadly, I don't have one so i will follow him on twitch at jmook11 
        if my girl 😍 and Jmook both drowning 😱 and I can only save one 😤 😬 Catch me at my girl's funeral 😝 with the best posture in the game 
        JMook isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a player with such an ability and movement with Sheik? JMook puts the game in another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see a player with his skill and passion for the game again. mang0 breaks records. Zain breaks records. JMook breaks the rules. You can keep your statistics. I prefer JMook. 
        I went to Genesis 8 and ran into jmook on day 2. I told him I was his biggest fan and that I love his sheik, he told me he knows. When i asked him for advice he gently grabbed my back and pulled it up and said "stand like this" and walked away. To this day I haven't slouched once 
        No one is going to believe me, but have a friend whose brother's coworker briefly dated Jmook. She said that on their first date they went to a restaurant and Jmook ordered two different bowls of soup and mixed them together one spoonful at a time before eating both bowls mixed together as one soup 
        If JMook has a million fans, then I am one of them. If JMook has ten fans, then I am one of them. If JMook has only one fan then that is me. If JMook has no fans, then that means I am no longer on earth. If the world is against JMook, then I am against the world. 
        i think its hilarious u guys talk shit about jmook., hes jacked. not only that but he wears the freshest clothes, eats at the chillest restaurants and hangs out with the hottest dudes. yall are pathetic lol. 
        damn this jmook kid is so young talented and attractive, i would definitely want him representing my brand and/or my esports org and would DEFINITELY dm him if i represented one of the aforementioned orgs or follow him on twitch at jmook11 
        if jmook got scared he'd be jshook. if jmook was a chef he'd be jcook. if jmook played you in melee, he'd read you like jbook. if jmook made music, he'd add jhook. if jmook played you in chess, he'd beat you with jrook. if jmook was asked to see something, he'd be sure to jlook. if jmook needed to hide, he'd be in jnook. If he was a thief he'd be Jcrook. 
        I went to a New York local, when I saw Jmook jaywalking across the street. An officer confronted him and after a long chat he took the officer's pad, wrote in it, and walked away. I talked to the officer and he told me through tears that Jmook gave him a ticket for a bad posture. 
        jmook’s hair is soft like blanket and everyone wants to take a touch on it. Him eyes shining like marble and is attract every human bean. 
        Overheard by the commentators couch after Game 5: “He got me,” Leffen said of Jmook's backthrow on him. "That f***ing Jmook boomed me." Leffen added, “My controller sucks” repeating it four times. Leffen then said he wanted to add Jmook to the list of players he plays friendlies with this summer. 
        Sadly this is long overdue. My friend is an executive at BTS and said that Jmook caused constant trouble every time he showed up. There was apparently an incident where a custodian found Jmook arguing with a man in a wheelchair in the bathroom. Jmook was adamantly claiming he needed the handicap stall because of how big his balls are, and the man in the wheelchair was on the verge of tears and covered in shit. The custodian had to calm things down and push Leffen to a different bathroom. 
        A lot of Melee players left Summit practice today energized by JMook's performance, mesmerized with him taking low-tier characters and running the table on the regulars, sources said. At the end, he marched out like if a mic drop. JMook delivered a tour de force.


        Why Barack Obama should be a playable character in Smash Bros.

          There are many compelling reasons why Barack Obama, the 44th President of the United States, should be a playable character in the popular video game series Super Smash Bros. For one, Obama is a highly influential and historic figure who served as the first African American President of the United States. Including him as a playable character in the game would not only be a nod to his significance in American history, but it would also add diversity to the game's roster of characters.

Additionally, Obama has a unique and memorable personal style that could make for an interesting and fun character in the game. His distinctive look, including his signature suits and his famous ear-to-ear grin, could be incorporated into his character design, making him instantly recognizable to players. Furthermore, his charisma and likability, which were key factors in his successful political career, could translate into an engaging and entertaining in-game persona.

Furthermore, Obama's time in office was marked by numerous accomplishments and landmark events, such as the passage of the Affordable Care Act and the legalization of same-sex marriage, that could provide inspiration for his in-game abilities and moves. For example, his ability to bring people together and find common ground could be represented by a move that temporarily calms down and unifies other characters on the battlefield.

In addition to his personal attributes and accomplishments, Obama also has a wide range of skills and talents that could make him a formidable opponent in Super Smash Bros. As a former basketball player and avid sports fan, Obama could have moves that incorporate elements of basketball, such as slam dunks and dribbling. He could also have access to a range of high-tech gadgets and equipment from his time as President, such as drones and secret service agents, that could give him an edge in battle.

Overall, there are many reasons why Barack Obama should be a playable character in Super Smash Bros. His historic significance, memorable personal style, and diverse range of skills and abilities would make him a valuable addition to the game's roster of characters.

(Moveset)

As a former President of the United States, Barack Obama could have a variety of moves at his disposal in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. Here are a few ideas for his moveset:

● Neutral Special: "Hope and Change" - Obama creates a circle of light around himself, healing himself and any allies within the circle.

● Side Special: "Yes We Can" - Obama rushes forward, delivering a powerful punch to any opponents in his path.

● Up Special: "Soaring Speech" - Obama takes flight, using the power of his oratory skills to boost himself upward and damage any opponents he comes into contact with.

● Down Special: "Lincoln's Legacy" - Obama summons the ghost of Abraham Lincoln, who attacks opponents with a spectral axe.

● Final Smash: "The Audacity of Hope" - Obama unleashes a powerful flurry of blows, finishing with a devastating uppercut that sends opponents flying.