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Simp Copypasta

Browse every Simp copypasta from the infamous Discord message “can we honestly e date?” to the classic “*JAW DROPS humina humina awooga” copypasta.


Simping “nice guy”

    May I, a woman respecting and feminist- supportive male, see at least one breast from you my queen? I do not mean to come on as an improper male, and if this request disturbs you, please make me aware. You, my queen, deserve the utmost respect of any female. However, many of my gender seem to sexualize women and view them as sex toys. However, my Queen, I do not share these views. Rather, I value the female spectrum of the human race as the superior, and I, a respectful male, request for the viewing of an isolated, singular breast from your body. I await your response my Queen.

    Elder Maxson’s speech from Fallout 4 but it’s about Simps instead of Synths

      Brothers and Sisters, the road behind us has been long and fraught with difficulty, each and every one of you has surpassed my expectations by rapidly facilitating our arrival in the Commonwealth. You accomplished this feat without a hint of purpose or direction, and most impressively: without question. Now that the ship is in position it is time to reveal our purpose and our mission. Beneath the Commonwealth, there is a cancer known as the Institute, a malignant growth that needs to be cut before it infects the surface. They are experimenting with dangerous technologies that could prove to the world's undoing for the second time in recent history. The Institute scientists have created a weapon that transcends the destructive nature of the Atom Bomb. They call their creation: The Simps, a masculine abomination of humanity that is free-thinking, and donates money to female streamers, this.. notion.. that a loser could be granted attention will is not only offensive.. but horribly dangerous and like the atom, if they aren't harnessed properly, they have the potential of rendering us extinct as a species. I, can not allow the Institute to continue this line of experimentation. Therefore the Institute and their Simps are considered enemies of the Brotherhood of Steel and should be dealt with swiftly and mercilessly. This campaign will be costly and many lives will be lost, but in the end, we will be saving humankind from its worst enemy: Itself. Ad Victorium.

      The fact that her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard does NOT mean it’s better than mine.

        In the song titled "Milkshake" by Kelis, she exclaims how all the boys show up in her yard for milkshakes which claim to be better than mine. Not only is this self entitlement, but she doesn't give any valid reasons as to why her milkshakes are better. According to the lyrics of this boastful chant, she is willing to offer lessons for making such a milkshake but for a price. Could that mean that the ingredients used to make this milkshake cost more than the labelled price and instead of increasing it to maintain profit, she gives lessons on how to make such a milkshake in order to compensate for her lack of total earnings? Is she that desperate to keep the ALL the boys in her yard!? A low price in exchange for a higher consumer rate, and yet she claims that her milkshakes are better than mine. What if she were to increase the prices, will all the boys still head to the yard cause the milkshake is THAT good?? She even says that her milkshake making techniques "drive the guys crazy" and "freak these boys". It's unbelievable how one's milkshakes can be judged simply by how it's prepared. I highly believe that my milkshakes are capable of bringing all the people to the yard with hard work and reasonable prices. I'm assured that one day, I will be capable of creating ultimate milkshake which brings not only boys, but also girls to my yard. Let not one sex judge and conclude without having to hear from the other. And from there, it will bring equality and fairness into this competition of milkshakes. With that, I conclude that her milkshakes are not better than mine just because it brings all the boys to the yard.

        If you’re not a SIMP, then you’re gay

          If you're not a simp, then you're gay

Because if you thirst after girls, that's called being a normal teenage boy, but if you don't thirst after girls then you're probably gay

          The horniest post in history

            God i fantasize about her every night. I want her to sit on me, suffocating me until I can barely breathe, and just before I die from asphyxiation, she hands me a plastic straw from Chuck E. Cheese, from which i put my mouth on and try to breathe from. However, that straw is in her vaginal hole, and as for every atom of oxygen i intake, a liter of her pussy juices pour into my mouth. As I shove my way from under her soul crushing thighs, I gasp for the air I so desperately need. She stares down at me with a smug look, saying "Are you tired? We've only just started". She pounds my face in with her dirty, worn out foot, which she violently presses into my submissive face. I take a hard lick of each individual toe, sucking out all the dirt collected from god knows where. After both of her feet are licked spotless, she holds me down, and crushes my neck with her immensely muscular thighs. I struggle to breath, and I even achieve a point of utter hallucination. As I begin to realize I am horridly close from perishing from asphyxiation, my penis explodes with semen, as if a volcano erupting, yet instead of lava hot, sticky cum poured from my worn out penis. I gave her a 50$ bill, and she smiles and says "Same time next week?".

            Comment from idubbbz “controversy”

              no shut the fuck up you dumb fuck. you don't get to haha funny yourself out of this one. you're a simp. you act all edgy and cool on youtube and then go film your girlfriend shoving anal beads up her ass for onlyfans afterwards. fuck you. you lied to everyone. you ruined my life.