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Geometry Dash

zoink-senpai… ohayo gozaimasu!! 🌸✨

    Zoink is a top American Geometry Dash player and a content creator. The copypasta was started by u/Swaayin_ from a shitpost on r/geometrydash.

    IF UR NOT ZOINK STAY BACK
    
    zoink-senpai… ohayo gozaimasu!! 🌸✨
    i’ve been hiding these feelings in my kokoro for so long… but today… I CAN’T HOLD BACK MY LOVE ANYMORE 😭💖
    
    zoink-sama… you are my ichiban… my legend… my TOP 1 OF MY HEART!!! 🔥
    the way you play Geometry Dash… it’s not human… it’s DIVINE…
    every click… every jump… every frame-perfect input…
    it’s like watching a god descend into the level editor itself… 😭🙏
    
    when i see you beating impossible levels like they’re NOTHING…
    my kokoro goes DOKI DOKI… my hands shake… my soul ascends… 💀✨
    you’re not just a player… you’re THE FINAL BOSS AND THE PROTAGONIST AT THE SAME TIME!!!
    
    every night… i lie in bed… staring at the ceiling…
    thinking in my thinking space… “what is zoink doing right now…” 😔💖
    
    are you grinding another demon?
    are you destroying another top 1?
    or… are you… thinking of me too…? 🥺👉👈
    
    onegai shimasu, zoink-senpai… NOTICE ME!!! 😭🔥
    i’ve been practicing so hard… trying to improve…
    but no matter how many attempts i do… i can never reach your level of play…
    
    you are like a sensei… a kami-sama… a being beyond skill…
    and i’m just a humble player… missing easy jumps and crying in practice mode 💀
    
    if you let me be your tomodachi… your kouhai… your anything…
    i would treasure it more than a VERIFIED TOP 1 COMPLETION 😭💎
    
    we could play together…
    i’ll watch you beat levels while i fail at 12%… and i’ll still cheer like:
    “ZOINK-SENPAI SUGOI!!! 🔥🔥🔥”
    
    we could grind late into the night…
    you getting new records…
    me… getting emotional damage 💀
    
    zoink-senpai… your gameplay is so kakkoi… it makes me want to scream
    “SUGOIIII!!!” every time you survive a 0.0001% choke 😭👏
    
    i know i’m just a baka… 😔
    but even if i’m stuck at the bottom…
    i’ll always be your number one fan… forever… 💖
    
    so please… zoink-senpai…
    give me a chance… even just a 0.1% chance… like a frame-perfect jump…
    
    aishiteru… zoink-sama…
    more than any demon level… more than any leaderboard…
    more than my sanity… 😭🔥
    
    yours forever…
    your loyal, delulu, combo-dropping kouhai… 💖💀 

    Am i the only one who goons to geometry dash (not the women) levels?

      Am i the only one who goons to geometry dash (not the women) levels?
      
      NOT A COPYPASTA. REAL STORY.
      
      I used to be asexual and aromantic, since I think everyone looks just as okay and I find no romantic interest in talking to people. Porn is just downright disgusting for me. But whenever 1 watch good gameplay, I get uncontrollably erect and can't resist the urge to start masturbating. I want to know that is it just me who masturbates to gameplay from geometry dash? Or do other people do it as well? Just look at QDYNAMIX and tell me you DONT get hard at how satisfying the gameplay is????? I need answers.
      
      No, I am not talking about geometry dash girls like the girls in Aperture or Muse Dash. I meant the pure, raw gameplay 

      Breakup message for Geometry Dash players

        By u/Wozerd, its a brainrot breakup message with lots of Geometry Dash references.

        sorry ive been distant.. my minds just been a stereo of madness recently, i was hoping we could get back on track but it feels like theres a poltrageist holding me back. I dont want to dry out what we have left but its just base after base with you. I dont want to be a jumper of conclusions but i think we should break up. If i had a time machine i would go back and end the toxic cylcles but it looks like im just gonna be another xstep for you. I’ll just be a part of your theory of everything in your electroman adventures. While im at club step youll be studying electrodynamix and thats okay. I just feel overwhelmed like im blast processing all this at once. And I hope you finish your theory of everything 1 because i want to be part of your theory of everything 2, maybe this time i could be the geometrical dominator… I dont know i just feel so deadlocked.
        

        I have a very weird confession about geometry dash.

          By u/Gryllodea, its a shitpost towards another post about a person feeling sexual when playing Geometry Dash.

          I have a very weird confession about geometry dash.
          
          Alright, throwaway for obvious reasons. This is so deeply embarrassing that I've never told a single person in my life. But I saw this post the other day, and for the first time ever, I didn't feel completely insane. So I'm just gonna rip the band-aid off.
          
          My whole life, I've felt like I was "broken" when it came to this stuff. I'm asexual and aromantic. I don't look at people and feel that. Honestly, most porn makes me feel kinda sick. I figured my wiring was just... different, and that was that.
          
          But then there's Geometry Dash.
          
          It sounds like a joke, I know. It sounds like a bad meme. It's not. It's the most confusing, shameful, and real thing I've ever dealt with.
          
          I'm not talking about levels with cute art. I'm talking about the pure, raw gameplay. A perfectly synced dual sequence. A clean, tight wave part where every click lines up with the music. A smooth, flowing ship section with impossible-looking turns. Watching a really well-made, difficult level gets me so... intensely, physically worked up that I can't control it. It's a direct, involuntary physical reaction. I've had to stop watching YouTube videos of levels because of it. It’s that powerful, and that embarrassing.
          
          After reading that other post, I fell down a rabbit hole trying to understand why. The closest thing I've found that makes sense is that it's not actually a fetish. A fetish is when you're attracted to something. I'm not attracted to the level. It's more like my brain completely misfires.
          
          The satisfaction I get from watching perfect gameplay, the rhythm, the precision, the visual ASMR of it all, its so powerful that my brain seems to misinterpret that flood of "YES, THIS IS PERFECT" feeling as sexual arousal. My body just follows orders from the wrong signal. It's apparently a real, studied thing: a "misattribution of a non-sexual stimulus."
          
          So... yeah. I'm the guy who has to take a cold shower after watching a good Neiro showcase. It feels pathetic to type out, but there it is. If there's anyone else out there who gets it, even a little... hi. You're not a monster. You're just wired in a really, really weird way.

          Balatro

          I have a very weird confession about balatro
          
          Alright, throwaway for obvious reasons. This is so deeply embarrassing that I've never told a single person in my life. But I saw this post the other day, and for the first time ever, I didn't feel completely insane. So I'm just gonna rip the band-aid off.
          
          My whole life, I've felt like I was "broken" when it came to this stuff. I'm asexual and aromantic. I don't look at people and feel that. Honestly, most porn makes me feel kinda sick. I figured my wiring was just... different, and that was that.
          
          But then there's Balatro.
          
          It sounds like a joke, I know. It sounds like a bad meme. It's not. It's the most confusing, shameful, and real thing I've ever dealt with.
          
          I'm not talking about jokers with cute art. I'm talking about the pure, raw gameplay. A perfectly built up economy. A clean, tight boss blind where every hand and discard matters. A smooth, flowing strategy with impossible-looking pivots. Watching a really well-played, difficult yet somehow possible gold stake win gets me so... intensely, physically worked up that I can't control it. It's a direct, involuntary physical reaction. I've had to stop watching DrSpectred and Roffle because of it. It’s that powerful, and that embarrassing.
          
          After reading that other post, I fell down a rabbit hole trying to understand why. The closest thing I've found that makes sense is that it's not actually a fetish. A fetish is when you're attracted to something. I'm not attracted to the joker. It's more like my brain completely misfires.
          
          The satisfaction I get from watching perfect gameplay, the triggers, the precision, the visual ASMR of it all, its so powerful that my brain seems to misinterpret that flood of "YES, THIS IS PERFECT" feeling as sexual arousal. My body just follows orders from the wrong signal. It's apparently a real, studied thing: a "misattribution of a non-sexual stimulus."
          
          So... yeah. I'm the guy who has to take a cold shower after watching a good Perkeo-less naneinf. It feels pathetic to type out, but there it is. If there's anyone else out there who gets it, even a little... hi. You're not a monster. You're just wired in a really, really weird way.
          

          Niflheim copypasta

            This copypasta is a chaotic text transcription of the level “Niflheim” in Geometry Dash by the player Koreaqwer.

            The text is a direct reading of the on-screen text objects and gameplay modes that flash during the level, combined with the end credits. It became a meme in the Geometry Dash community due to the level’s notoriously weird decoration, the “spammy” nature of the text, and the controversy surrounding its verification.

            LDM ball cube ball big cube ball next Rest In Peace niflheim vismuth slow wave fast robot keep going! slow ship go! slow ball Auto? fast dual ship slow fast ufo slow How? fast ship slow cube fast ball lol slow robot in out slow ufo take a break ????? !!!!! ?? ?! ??! !! ?! !! ?!!? ??! !! ?!!? ??! ?! ?? !! ?? !! ?? ?! ??! ?!!? ?? ??! ?! !! ?!!? slow ufo go! go! Yeah! fast cube dual wave watch out! faster! OMG! mini next next great! verified by NIFLHEIM koreaqwer

            Limbo was actually based on a true story. In 1927 a man named Lim Bao

              Limbo was actually based on a true story. In 1927 a man named Lim Bao was captured in the chinese civil war, and was convicted to serve as a locksmith for the entirety of his life. People hated him so much that he eventually began to color and purposefully ruin the keys he has made, forcing people to guess which key is the one that actually works.