I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Zhongli. I try to play Thoma. My Zhongli gives interrupt resistance. I try to play Kirara. My Zhongli gives interrupt resistance . I try to play Baizhu. My Zhongli gives more shield. I want to play C0 Neuvilette. His best team has Zhongli. I want to play Hu Tao, C0 Arlecchino. They both want Zhongli.
He grabs me by the throat. I fish for him. I cook for him. I give him Black Tassel. He isn't satisfied. I pull vortex vanquisher. "I don't need this" He tells me. "Give me more hp." He grabs 2 hydro for resonance. "You just need to give me more hp. I’ll handle interrupt resistance."
I can't pull for yelan or furina, I don't have enough primogems. He grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." He grabs a meteor. He says "I will have order." There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure, interrupt resistance. What a cruel world.
I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Genshin. I try to play HSR. The communities have a daily post about Genshin. I try to browse gacha communities. Every post has Genshin mentions. I try to browse regular gaming communities. There's a monthly genshin hate thread. I try to see memes. I see a genshin neckbeard meme every 2 seconds. I browse fanart. Every character is from genshin. I mute the word. I leave all game communities. My favourite youtuber gets sponsored by genshin. "Download genshin impact" they tell me. I go to an anime convention. There's genshin everywhere. A talking fairy comes out "Traveller it needs 80 gb of space". She grabs my pc and forces me to download it. "You just need to spend some money on it" I can't do it, I don't have enough money. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." She takes all of my food and leaves."Ehe te nandayo?" There is no hint of sadness in her eyes. Nothing, but pure billions of dollars in revenue. What a cruel world.
I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Itto. I try to play Ninnguang. My Itto deals more damage. I try to play Noelle. My Itto deals more damage. I try to play Albedo. My Itto deals more damage. I want to play Gorou. His best team has Itto. I want to play Albedo, Zhongli - they both like Itto. He grabs me by the throat. I pull for him. I cook for him. I give him the R5 Whiteblind. He isn't satisfied. I buy R5 serpent spine. "I don't need this much crit rate" He tells me. "Give me more field time." He grabs Gorou and forces him to throw himself off enemies. "You just need to funnel me more. I can deal more damage with Redhorn." I can't pull for Redhorn, I don't have enough primogems. He grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." He grabs Ushi. He says "Ushi, get them." There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure, unbridled raw Ushi damage. I am evaporated to dust.
Without a single doubt of mind, there is nothing more perfect than Furina from the hit game, Genshin Impact from Hoyoverse. If there ever was an embodiment of complete perfection, it'd be her. Her gorgeous eyes, her adorable hat, her slim body, her correctable attitude, and the absolute pleasure it is to see her smile. I'd do anything for Furina. There is absolutely nothing in this world that gets my mind going and letting my imagination go wild than the sheer thought of Furina's existence. Nothing gets my neurons fired than Furina. I'll go ahead and address the elephant in the room and arguably the best part of Furina even if every single part of her is just as great, the brattiness of her. She is so correctable up to the point where I don't want to do anything other than give a huge correction to her for the rest of my life. Her bratty attitude gets me all hot and bothered, so much so as I would correct her on the spot with my huge 'friend' and I wouldn't care if people are watching. A lesson is a lesson that needs to be taught regardless of location and situation. Plus, she's the hydro archon so imagine how wet she would be. You would slip in and out with extreme ease with how drenched she would be down there. I would go all day and night 24/7. I don't think I would be cumming normal sperm, I think I'd be cumming literal blood, that's how long I would go with her. I just want to fill her up to be the absolute brim. Another thing, her shorts. Why are they so SHORT!? There is no reason why her shorts are so short! You could literally just slip it down slightly and start star railing her with little effort. They turn on me so much, I immediately get hard by the sight of her in it. When I said, I would do anything for her, I mean it. I'd lick her feet, suck on her toes, sniff her shorts, rob a bank, you name it. In fact, if she wanted to give me testicular torsion, I would let her do it. I'd give my children in record time if she wanted. Hell, I'd probably give it to her even without her asking. If she were religion, I'd be her number one follower. I'd worship her. If everybody was against her, I'd be against everybody. There is nothing on this planet that could convince me that nobody is more perfect than Furina and if anybody says otherwise than I would be willing to sacrifice my life to prove the point where Furina is the number one person and nobody would be above her. Except for me when I'm correcting her bratty attitude.
I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of reading about Genshin everywhere. I heard about Nikke's anniversary. Commanders shit on Genshin's anniversary. I was excited to see Endfield news. Endminister compared to Genshin's MC's. I saw the latest Epic 7 update. It reminds them of Genshin constellations. Wuthering Waves, Project Mugen, Duet Night Abyss. "Is this the Genshin Killer?!?!". I try to take a shower. My penis size reminds me of the small anniversary rewards. I want to escape Genshin. But there it is again, first post, first comment, on a random unrelated sub reddit. "It's Genshin's fault..."
Da Wei grabs me by the throat. I whaled for him. I simped for his characters. I gave him my precious time. He isn't satisfied. He doesn't want me to quit. He stalks me wherever I go. "Have you heard of the latest update?". He whispers to my naked unsuspecting ears. "No Da Wei, I'm just here to browse news for this other gacha ga-" "THE NEW ARCHON IS COMING OUT" He grabs my wallet and forcefully Kabedons me to the nearest ATM. "Funnel me more of your money, you know Archons are OP. You'll deal more damage in this casual F2P PvE RPG TCG action combat story driven game." I blush as he assertively advertise his game with his cute Chinese accent.
I can't pull for the next Archon, I haven't even played the game in months. He grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." He grabs his dakimakura of Asuka from Evangelion (That's his favorite anime, I know because every Genshin fan on a 10 mile radius made sure to let me know.) Da Wei looks back at me one final time before he gets in the Robot. There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure, no excessive anxiety gameplay. What a cruel world.
