I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Genshin. I try to play HSR. The communities have a daily post about Genshin. I try to browse gacha communities. Every post has Genshin mentions. I try to browse regular gaming communities. There's a monthly genshin hate thread. I try to see memes. I see a genshin neckbeard meme every 2 seconds. I browse fanart. Every character is from genshin. I mute the word. I leave all game communities. My favourite youtuber gets sponsored by genshin. "Download genshin impact" they tell me. I go to an anime convention. There's genshin everywhere. A talking fairy comes out "Traveller it needs 80 gb of space". She grabs my pc and forces me to download it. "You just need to spend some money on it" I can't do it, I don't have enough money. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." She takes all of my food and leaves."Ehe te nandayo?" There is no hint of sadness in her eyes. Nothing, but pure billions of dollars in revenue. What a cruel world.
I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Itto. I try to play Ninnguang. My Itto deals more damage. I try to play Noelle. My Itto deals more damage. I try to play Albedo. My Itto deals more damage. I want to play Gorou. His best team has Itto. I want to play Albedo, Zhongli - they both like Itto. He grabs me by the throat. I pull for him. I cook for him. I give him the R5 Whiteblind. He isn't satisfied. I buy R5 serpent spine. "I don't need this much crit rate" He tells me. "Give me more field time." He grabs Gorou and forces him to throw himself off enemies. "You just need to funnel me more. I can deal more damage with Redhorn." I can't pull for Redhorn, I don't have enough primogems. He grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." He grabs Ushi. He says "Ushi, get them." There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure, unbridled raw Ushi damage. I am evaporated to dust.
Without a single doubt of mind, there is nothing more perfect than Furina from the hit game, Genshin Impact from Hoyoverse. If there ever was an embodiment of complete perfection, it'd be her. Her gorgeous eyes, her adorable hat, her slim body, her correctable attitude, and the absolute pleasure it is to see her smile. I'd do anything for Furina. There is absolutely nothing in this world that gets my mind going and letting my imagination go wild than the sheer thought of Furina's existence. Nothing gets my neurons fired than Furina. I'll go ahead and address the elephant in the room and arguably the best part of Furina even if every single part of her is just as great, the brattiness of her. She is so correctable up to the point where I don't want to do anything other than give a huge correction to her for the rest of my life. Her bratty attitude gets me all hot and bothered, so much so as I would correct her on the spot with my huge 'friend' and I wouldn't care if people are watching. A lesson is a lesson that needs to be taught regardless of location and situation. Plus, she's the hydro archon so imagine how wet she would be. You would slip in and out with extreme ease with how drenched she would be down there. I would go all day and night 24/7. I don't think I would be cumming normal sperm, I think I'd be cumming literal blood, that's how long I would go with her. I just want to fill her up to be the absolute brim. Another thing, her shorts. Why are they so SHORT!? There is no reason why her shorts are so short! You could literally just slip it down slightly and start star railing her with little effort. They turn on me so much, I immediately get hard by the sight of her in it. When I said, I would do anything for her, I mean it. I'd lick her feet, suck on her toes, sniff her shorts, rob a bank, you name it. In fact, if she wanted to give me testicular torsion, I would let her do it. I'd give my children in record time if she wanted. Hell, I'd probably give it to her even without her asking. If she were religion, I'd be her number one follower. I'd worship her. If everybody was against her, I'd be against everybody. There is nothing on this planet that could convince me that nobody is more perfect than Furina and if anybody says otherwise than I would be willing to sacrifice my life to prove the point where Furina is the number one person and nobody would be above her. Except for me when I'm correcting her bratty attitude.
I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of reading about Genshin everywhere. I heard about Nikke's anniversary. Commanders shit on Genshin's anniversary. I was excited to see Endfield news. Endminister compared to Genshin's MC's. I saw the latest Epic 7 update. It reminds them of Genshin constellations. Wuthering Waves, Project Mugen, Duet Night Abyss. "Is this the Genshin Killer?!?!". I try to take a shower. My penis size reminds me of the small anniversary rewards. I want to escape Genshin. But there it is again, first post, first comment, on a random unrelated sub reddit. "It's Genshin's fault..."
Da Wei grabs me by the throat. I whaled for him. I simped for his characters. I gave him my precious time. He isn't satisfied. He doesn't want me to quit. He stalks me wherever I go. "Have you heard of the latest update?". He whispers to my naked unsuspecting ears. "No Da Wei, I'm just here to browse news for this other gacha ga-" "THE NEW ARCHON IS COMING OUT" He grabs my wallet and forcefully Kabedons me to the nearest ATM. "Funnel me more of your money, you know Archons are OP. You'll deal more damage in this casual F2P PvE RPG TCG action combat story driven game." I blush as he assertively advertise his game with his cute Chinese accent.
I can't pull for the next Archon, I haven't even played the game in months. He grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." He grabs his dakimakura of Asuka from Evangelion (That's his favorite anime, I know because every Genshin fan on a 10 mile radius made sure to let me know.) Da Wei looks back at me one final time before he gets in the Robot. There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure, no excessive anxiety gameplay. What a cruel world.
Melusines are really important for Fontaine! They play a major role in the economy of the country. One of the reasons is their pride, they want to be seen as hardworker and loyal but they are all small and cute!
Melusines comes in all sort of colors! The interesting part is the taste of both the tip of their antenna and sweat is different based on it! Fascinating is it not?
The laws of Fontaine consider Melusines the equal of Humans so it's possible to have a colleague Melusines, or better, a partner as I have!
You see one of those hardworking Melusines is my wife, Elphane, my pink godess. I fell in love the first time we met, sunset on the horizon, alone on the aquabus.
I proposed to her right away (Melusines are very cute), at first she was confused, but she quickly whispered yes under her breath and made me the happiest man in the world as the sun faded out.
She is so cute, behind her strong hardworking Melusine façade hides a shy and cute wife! In fact everytime she sees me she cries tears of joy, it's sad im a busy man so I can't see her everyday. I have to leave after I made sure she understands how much I love her!
Recently I noticed people in blue stalking her, they must have noticed how cute melusines are (as I did). But I was angry at them, as cute as Melusines are Elphane is MY wife! I went to our home to have a talk with her about the creeps stalking her, she was very scared as I told her so I had to calm her. You see my wife is very noisy every time we do it (she is very shy), the creeps must have taken this opportunity to attack me and my wife! In our own home!
I tried to defend my crying wife but they knocked me out! I woke up to something called a "trial" I screamed about how "Melusines are small and frail" and what I would do to them if they ever touched my adorable wife Elphane!
And then... I saw her on the other side of the room, they made her cry! I went in a blind rage! I don't remember exactly what happened next, I remember a small blue brat screaming nonsense like "Aggravated assault" (?) and other dumb stuff like "sexual harassment" and "sexual assault". What I remember clearly is when she said I had a "restraining order" on my wife and every Melusines! DO YOU BELIEVE THIS! How can any normal men resist the urge to get closer to something as cute as a Melusine! They also said I must be locked in a place called "jail" for 20 years! 20 YEARS without seeing ANY Melusines! This is a crime against life itself! I swear I won't stay there for long! I'll leave, correct this stupid blue brat and get as far as possible with MY wife Elphane!
I will take her to see the world and the world will look back! Everyone must see how cute Melusines are! They will!
I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Neuvillette. I try to play Ayato. My Neuvillette deals more damage. I try to play Childe. My Neuvillette deals more damage. I want to play Raiden, Nahida- Neuvillette needs them for hyperbloom.I want to play Furina, Neuvillette maximizes her buffs. He steals my Venti for the grouping, and Zhongli for the shields, 5 archons. I spend primogems and resin pulling and building 8 characters for the abyss, he goes solo anyways. He grabs me by the throat. I farm bilets for him. I forge for him. I give him the Prototype Amber. He isn't satisfied. I pull for the widsth. "Not enough crit DMG" He tells me. "I can deal more damage with Tome." I can't pull for Tome, I don't have enough primogems, i might even lose to Homa. "I need interuption resistance" He tells me. "Pull for c1" I don't need c1, i have Zhongli anyways. He ignores me. He grabs my credit card. It declines. "Bow your head." He drops his balls. "Be sanctified" Monsieur Neuvillette says as he starts levitating. There is no hint of sadness in his eyes, he blasts all over my face. Nothing but pure, draconic, hydro application. What a cruel world.
I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of Monsieur Neuvillette. I try to play Diluc. My Monsieur Neuvillette deals more damage. I try to play Wanderer. My Monsieur Neuvillette deals more damage. I try to play Cyno. My Monsieur Neuvillette deals more damage. I want to play Furina. Her best team has Monsieur Neuvillette. He grabs me by the throat 😩. I killed countless innocent seals for him. I farm marachussy hunter set for him. I give him my Baizhu's R5 prototype amber. He isn't satisfied. I give him my Yae's Kagura's Verity. "I don't need this passive" He tells me. "Just give me interrupt resistance" He grabs Zhongli and forces him to erect his pillar and shield him. "You just need to pull my C1. I can deal more damage and not need Zhongli anymore" I can't pull for his C1, I don't have enough primogems. He grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." A bunch of Gardes and Gardemeks appeared. He says "Gardes, escort them to the Fortress of Meropide." There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure, unaldurated damage from his insane multipliers and aoes. What a cruel world.
