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No condoms, skin on skin. On the living room floor, the bedroom ceiling

    Evolution of the “no lube, no protection, all night all day” copypasta.

    Every way, all ways. Doggy style, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, missionary, spooning, frontwards, backwards, upside down, 69, standing, lotus, bridge, 360 degrees, in the rain, in the snow, in the blazing heat of a thousand suns. No condoms, skin on skin. On the living room floor, the bedroom ceiling, the kitchen counter, the closet, the fridge, the front porch, the neighbor’s lawn, the public library, the moon. On the couch, in the car, in the street, in a moving train, on a rollercoaster, on the office desk, in the elevator, on the Ferris wheel, in a bouncy castle, on a pirate ship, under the bed, in the attic, on a tightrope, while skydiving, in the middle of a flash mob. I want her bouncing on it until she’s pregnant with my triplets, quadruplets, and quintuplets all at once. Until our future kids are sending us postcards from space and narrating our wild adventures on TikTok. Because why stop at Earth when you can aim for the stars and beyond? Let’s make headlines and history books, baby!

    My mother asked me if I did the dishes

      AKA the Klay Thompson copypasta, its used to describe athletes who are no longer top of their game hence the term “washed”. 

      My mother asked me if I did the dishes. I replied “X”. She smiled, as she knew they were washed.
      My mom asked if the dishes were done and I yelled "X!"

She hugged me. She knew they were washed.
      My mom asked me if I did the dishes 

I yelled “X” 

She smiled 😊 She knew they were washed 🧼

      Reverse Klay Thompson copypasta

      My dad asked me to wash his car an hour ago.

When I returned, he asked me whether it was done or not.

I said Player_Name.

He beat me up because he knew that it wasn't washed

      I saw a Warhammer Dev at a Waitrose store in Horsham yesterday.

        Parody of the Flying Lotus copypasta but edited to fit the narrative from a post on r/totalwar where a player meet a dev.

        I saw a Warhammer Dev at a Waitrose store in Horsham yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

        Good Luck, Babe! – Emoji copypasta

          When you 🫵 💁‍♀️ wake up 🛏️ next to him 🤢in the middle of the night 🌚 With your 🫵 head 🤦‍♀️ in your 🫵 hands 👐 you're 🫵 nothing 🙅‍♀️ more than his 🤢 wife 👰‍♀️ And when you 🫵 think 🧠 about me 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 all of those years ago ⏱️ You're 🫵 standing 🧍‍♀️ face 👩 to face 👩 with "I told you so" 👁️👄👁️ 
          you 🫵 know 💭 i hate ❌ to say 💬

"i told you so💬🙄"

you 🫵 know 💭 i hate❌ to say it,💬 but

I TOLD YOU SOOOOOOOOOO 🗣️🔊
          you 🫵 can kiss 💋 a hundred 💯 boys 🧔 in bars 📶 Shoot 🔫 another shot 💉 try to stop 🛑 the feeling💓 You 🫵 can say 💬 its just the way 🤷‍♀️ you 🫵 are 💁‍♀️ Make a new 📝 excuse 💬 another stupid 🙄reason 🤨 good luck 🍀 babe 🐷

          I can’t live without WuWa

            Started as a Roblox server down meme, the copypasta has been adopted to other games whenever there is server maintenance.

            It's been almost 2 hours without Wuthering Waves. I can’t stop shaking and I’m having a severe mental breakdown. I went to announcements to check for a new update but there wasn't any, I had a major panic attack but managed to calm down after a few hours. I couldn’t go to school today, fearing that the maintenance would end when I am at school. I am nothing without Wuthering Waves, it is my life, it is my destiny, without Withering Waves, I wouldn't be able to do anything. Wuthering Waves is the best thing ever made and I can't get rid of my addiction to it, it is the best game in existence . I can't stop trembling and crying, I am very worried. Wuthering Waves can't be gone for any longer cause if it does then I'll go insane again... breaking my mouse, chair, house and everything I own. Wuthering Waves is very amazing and I can't lose it.

            CookieRun Kingdom saved my life

              Started as rants from r/CookieRunKingdoms about how unoptimized the game is on players phones.

              Crk saved my life. I was stranded in the Arctic. Frostbite was setting in. Snow piled up around me, falling in a flurry. I had lost all hope of salvation.

Then, inspiration struck. I opened up cookie run. Immediately, my phone went from freezing, to a burning fire of unoptimisation. I loaded in. My phone went nuclear. All the snow around me melted, and my body began to unthaw.

I knew time was short; I had a mere few minutes before the game would inevitably crash. In a last, desperate attempt, I tried to use Black Lemonade, and threw my phone into the air. It promptly exploded, lighting up the sky and alerting the search group of my location.

I’m now safe at home, and eternally grateful. Thank you Devsis. Crk saved my life.
              This is really heart warming a similar thing happened to me. I was in a hostage situation l, tied to a chair while being beaten and tortured after all of that happened I slowly but surely slipped out of the tied knot that was on my wrists. I could hear the kidnappers coming back so I didn't have much but then something clicked "CRK!" That was it so I pulled out my phone loaded CRK and put the most laggy cookies on a team hit play and threw my phone at the kidnappers. All I could hear was a big boom and was flash banged and then lights out. Next thing I know I wake up in the Hospital with an amputated leg and severe damage to my right arm but still usable. Unfortunately the kidnappers survived and were convicted. The kidnappers were two people named Ginger Brave (Who would name a child that must have been bullied) and Dragon Lord Cacao (Whoever this dude's parents are jail them). Thanks to this game's poor optimization I lived but with some damage to my body and mental trauma. Thanks Devsis.

              WuWa saved my life

              WuWa saved my life. I was stranded in the Arctic. Frostbite was setting in. Snow piled up around me, falling in a flurry. I had lost all hope of salvation.

Then, inspiration struck. I opened up Wuthering Waves. Immediately, my phone went from freezing, to a burning fire of unoptimisation. I loaded in. My phone went nuclear. All the snow around me melted, and my body began to unthaw.

I knew time was short; I had a mere few minutes before the game would inevitably crash. In a last, desperate attempt, I tried to use Yinlin's ult, and threw my phone into the air. It promptly exploded, lighting up the sky and alerting the search group of my location.

I’m now safe at home, and eternally grateful. Thank you Kurogames. WuWa saved my life.