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    Extreme Destroy Dick December

      goodluck bois
      hey 🅱itch 🐶, no 🙅 nut 🥜 november 📅 is finally 😏 over 😫, time ⏰ to release 😋 all those hard-earned 💸 🤑 cummies 🍆 💦 💦 now at destroy 🔨 dick 🍆 december 😩!! the rules 👌 are simple, 1st ☝ day, nut once 🍆 💦, 2nd ✌ day, nut twice 🍆 💦 💦, all the way 🏃 till december 31 📅 where 🤷‍♀️ you nut 🥜 31 times 🍆 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 💦 in a day 😩 😩, which is 🤔 a total 🏷 of 3️⃣1️⃣ nuts 😱. get your 👈 1️⃣ong 5️⃣chlong outta your thong 👀 and 😎 get 🤗 stroking ✊ 🍆 💦 😋!!!
      allow me to explain.
      
      Normal Destroy Dick December is where you nut as many times that day according to the date. So on the 1st December you nut once, 2nd December you nut twice, etc. You may have heard of other, harder versions such as adding the dates up, so day one is 1, day two is 1 + 2, etc. But extreme Destroy Dick December is where you nut as many times that day according to the date factorial.
      
      On Day 1 it's not so bad. It's just 1, so you nut once. Day 2 isn't bad either, since 1 x 2 = 2. Day 3, 1 x 2 x 3 = 6, so a little challenging but nothing too major. Day 4 is where it really starts though. 4! is 24. So that's nutting once every hour. Day 5 gets worse. 5! is 120. 120 / 24 = 5, which means you nut 5 times per hour. Day 6: 720 times per day. That translates to 30 times per hour or once every 2 minutes. Maybe possible if you've taken copious amounts of every stimulant drug on the planet.
      
      Day 7 is where you have to start rejecting your humanity. 7! = 5040. 5040 / 24 = 210. 210 / 60 = 3.5. 60 / 3.5 is about 17, so that's nutting once every 17 seconds.
      
      Day 8, oh god please stop. 8! is 40320, that divided over 24 hours is 1680 times per hour. that / 60 is 28 times per minute. Per fucking minute. So once every ~2.1 seconds, you have to nut. This is getting insane.
      
      You can see the pattern here. By December 31st you'd be a dehydrated corpse, but if you somehow survived:
      
      31! is 8.22 x 10^33.
      
      That / 24 is 3.43 x 10^32.
      
      That / 60 is 5.71 x 10^30.
      
      Divide by 60 again and you get 9.52 x 10^28.
      
      Divide by 1000 and it's 9.52 x 10^25 times. Every millisecond. An incomprehensibly large number of nuts every millisecond, if someone could please calculate the amount of energy required for that it'd be greatly appreciated, i'm done with this

      If you ask Rick Astley for a DVD of the movie Up,

        Astley paradox
        If you ask Rick Astley for a DVD of the movie Up, he won’t give it to you because he’s never gonna give you Up. However, by not giving you Up like you asked for it, he’s letting you down. This is known as the Astley paradox.

        Japanese pixelation

          its minecraft texture mod mom
          Man, it's a real challenge. We should have the utmost respect for those people and what they deal with. First time I tried to go down on my Japanese girlfriend, I couldn't find anything in all that pixelation. I tried and tried, but either I came away with a mouthful of pubes, or a tongue a few shades too brown. We decided, right, let's take it back to basics, this'll work—went in for the insertion, but she squealed in a pained rage as I hit the tighter cave trying to navigate through that pixel maze. And to my horror, it's contagious! I haven't seen my dick unpixelated in nearly five years now. Respect the Japanese—it's a marvel that they've come this far with this terrible affliction.

          Vsauce on why we should hunt down furries

            furries currently have natural predators
            Hey Vsauce, Michael here. Long pause.
             
            In the early days of man, wolves were the primary predators of deer. As humans became more numerous and killed off the wolves, the deer population was left unchecked, leaving the deer to multiply and wreak havoc on the ecosystem.
             
            People then had to become the top predator, keeping the deer from spreading and keeping them healthy as a species as well. Hunting became a respected pastime with a whole community growing to enjoy being the caretakers of these deer.
             
            Now, I had a thought, and idea.  The furry population, (you know, the ones who dress up as animals) has become more numerous and toxic in recent years. Likening them to the unchecked deer population, I began my own experiment.
             
            I got my hunting rifle and began to hunt furries. This was for the benefit of all people, including the furries themselves, as diseases will no longer run rampant among them if enough are culled.
             
            Apparently, this was surprisingly frowned upon by the general public officials, and I was subsequently arrested. Why is it that doing such a service to the society as a whole was thought of as 'bad'?
             
            While I serve my time, I would like to call you all to action, and continue being the hunters of furries, who currently have no natural predators. They need help, and so does the environment.
             
            That's all for now. Vsauce out.

            Called my overweight female friend a heckin chonker today and now she won’t talk to me

              NTA
              My female friend was crying about how fat she was and I was trying to comfort her by telling her that she didn’t look that fat but she kept accusing me of lying to make her feel bad so I thought that saying “maybe your just a heckin chonker” would cheer her up and lighten the mood but she just looked at me and left. I hope she realised that I was only being nice and that she is being irrational.