Lego Yoda CBT Lyrics
[Verse 1]
Crush my cock with a rock I must.
Maximum pain I must endure.
Ok, here we go.
[Chorus]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWHEN THE IMPOSTER IS SUS
Bri’ish “people” when you have chips
So you call these things “chips”? Instead of crispity crunchy munchie crackerjack snacker nibbler snap crack n’ pop Westpoolchestershireshire Queen’s lovey jubily delights?
That’s rather bit cringe, innit bruvMy (24F) Boyfriend (27M) will not stop calling his cum “Greggnog” During Christmas time
First off: I am not joking. I wish I was joking.
I've been with my wonderful boyfriend Greg for over 4 years now, and this Christmas was our third spent together. He's so much fun to be around, handsome, charming, and our sex life is great. Except for one small problem.
Every year now starting in December he starts referring to his cum as "Greggnog." When I first heard him say this, it was in the context of a joke, so I laughed, and then I forgot about it. A few days after this, we're exchanging some spicy texts before he gets home from work he says to me, in all seriousness, "I can't wait to pour Greggnog all over your face." I could not believe he just said that to me, but I didn't know what else to do at the time but go along with it.
Fast forward to this December. This phrase re-enters his vocabulary at the same time every year. It makes me cringe beyond belief, but until this year he used it sparingly enough for me to just be able to laugh and say "shut the fuck up."
I'm sure that 2020 has done at least some irreparable psychic damage to all people, but unfortunately, for my boyfriend, this has manifested in the form of him referring to his cum as "Greggnog" non-stop. This month he has been using the term almost exclusively, in all contexts, and it is driving me batshit insane. I sat him down to talk last week, and I asked him very clearly and directly to stop. At the time, he said he would, and it did slow down for a few days, but it is now four days after Christmas and he's back at it again with no end in sight.
He absolutely means the world to me, and I saw myself spending the rest of my life with him, but I have serious doubts now whether or not I can if every Christmas is going to be like this. So please, reddit, what do I do to make this stop for good?FEMBOYS ARE RUINING MY LIFE
These "Femboys" have ruined my life
OH MY FUCKING GOD WHY IS THIS SUBREDDIT SO FUCKING HORNY FOR FUCKING FEMBOYS!! I GO ON TO REDDIT AND SIT DOWN EXPECTING TO SEE FUNNY MEMES BUT NO IT'S JUST FEMBOYS! I THE FEMBOYS ARE TAKING OVER REDDIT!!
EVERY FUCKING POST ON THIS SUBREDDIT IS JUST: FEMBOY! FEMBOY! FEMBOY! I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THE FEMBOYS! I LOVE FEMBOYS! I WANT A FEMBOY TO FUCK ME IN TBE ASS! I LOVE FEMBOYS! GOD I WANT A FEMBOY!
THIS GODAMN SUBREDDIT TRYING TO MAKE ME FUCKING GAY! IT ALL STARTED WITH THAT PICTURE OF ASTOLFO!!! HOW THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE WAS A BOY HE LOOKED FEMININE AND I'M NOT GAY! I WAS SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO AN ANIME CHARACTER THAT LOOKS FEMININE SO IT'S NOT GAY!! YOU KEEP ON SHOWING ME THESE HOT GIRLS BUT THEN SUPRISE THEY'RE ACTUALLY A BOY!
I DECIDED TO MASTURBATE TO GAY PORN (just to make sure I was 100% straight) BUT THEN I END UP EJACULATING EVERYWHERE!!! I TRY AGAIN AND AGAIN BUT I KEEP EJACULATING EVERY TIME SO I ASK REDDIT HOW TO MAKE SURE I'M STRAIGHT AND THEY TELL ME TO HAVE GAY SEX AND IF I ENJOY IT I'M GAY (makes sense). I THINK THAT'S GOOD ADVICE I'LL GIVE THAT A TRY SO I ASK MY FRIEND IF HE WANTS TO HAVE SEX
AND THAT MOTHERFUCKER SAYS THAT I'M FUCKING GAY!!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! I'M DOING THIS TO PROVE TO MYSELF THAT I'M NOT GAY!! I TRY TO CONVINCE HIM BUT HE JUST KEEPS CALLING ME GAY (FUCKING ASSHOLE).
EVENTUALLY I COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT THE ONLY WAY TO KNOW IF I'M ACTUALLY GAY IS TO SHOVE SOMETHING UP MY ASS AND IF I ENJOY IT THEN I'M FOR SURE GAY BUT I END UP FUCKING ENJOYING IT SO FOR A LITTLE BIT I SIT THERE THINKING "I'm definitely gay" BUT I GO ON REDDIT AND THEY SAY THAT IT'S NOT GAY TO GET FUCKED IN THE ASS AS LONG AS IT'S A WOMAN FUCKING YOU IN THE ASS!! SO I'M NOT GAY FOR WANTING TO GET FUCKED IN THE ASS!!
THE NEXT DAY MY MOM HEARS ME TALKING TO MY FRIENDS AND SHE TAKES MY PHONE AWAY BECAUSE SHE HATES IT WHEN I TALK TO PEOPLE ON THE PHONE. AFTER SHE TAKES THE PHONE SHE STARTS IGNOREING ME SO I THINK SHE FOUND THE GAY PORN I SAVED ON MY PHONE!! I START PANICKING AND TELL HER THAT I'M NOT ACTUALLY GAY FOR HAVING GAY PORN ON MY PHONE AND THAT I WAS JUST DOING IT TO MAKE SURE I WAS STRAIGHT!! SO I'M PROBABLY TALKING ABOUT HOW I'M NOT GAY AND HOW BEING ATTRACTED TO FEMBOYS ISN'T GAY AND SHE'S SOBBING THE WHOLE TIME. I'M THINKING THAT MY MOM WAS SO HAPPY I'M NOT GAY THAT SHE WAS MOVED TO TEARS BUT GUESS WHAT
TURNS OUT SHE HAD NO FUCKING IDEA I HAD GAY PORN SAVED TO MY PHONE AND SHE JUST HEARD ME RAMBLE ON ABOUT HOW NOT GAY I AM AND HOW I'M NOT GAY FOR BEING ATTRACTED TO ANIME BOYS IN SKIRTS OR ANIME GIRLS WITH GIANT COCKS! NOW MY MOM AVOIDS ME AT ALL TIMES AND THE ONLY REASON I CAN USE REDDIT IS BECAUSE I NEED MY COMPUTER FOR SCHOOL!!!
SO YEAH FEMBOYS HAVE RUINED MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE!!! I'M SO FUCKING ANGRY AT THIS SUBREDDIT FOR ALMOST MAKING ME FUCKING GAY!!👅HAPPY NEW YEARS SLUTS 🍆
👯hey SlutS! 👯💅 Now that we got our yearly 🎁 FUCK 👊🏼from good ole Saint DICK 🎅🏾 it’s FINALLY New Years Eve!!!🗓🍾👅 2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣1️⃣ was a LONGG 🍆🍆 and HARD 😉✊🏻😫 year.... we laughed😂😆👌🏼 We cried 😢😖👎 We coughed 💦🤒🤧 we fucked GOOD👍🏻 dick🍆 and 😵😵BAD 😔 dick, 😫 BUTT 🍑 now let’s 👏👏Celebrate 🙌🎉 and watch that 💦🍆BIG 👅 BALL 😎👌🏼 Drop 👄👄 on us! 💃💃 So spread 👐🏽 those 👐🏽 legs 👐🏽 and count down ⬇️ from 🔟 until your man 💪🏾 pops 🎉 his CORK 🍾🍾 into that thirsty 👅thirsty 👅 hole! 🥰🥰 Send this to 2️⃣2️⃣ COCK-BEGGING ✊🏻🍆 WHORES to get BUTTFUCKED 🍑😱 for the next 3️⃣6️⃣5️⃣ days 😍😍😍