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Lobotomy Dash

    Lobotomy

    
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    FIRE IN THE HOLE

    
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    Doretta’s head is the ultimate litmus test for whether a dwarf is capable of self-governing

      Based on the original ‘Shopping cart is the ultimate litmus test‘ post on 4chan that became a classic copypasta

      Doretta's head is the ultimate litmus test for whether a dwarf is capable of self-governing. To return Doretta's head is an easy, convenient task and one which we all recognize as the correct, appropriate thing to do. To return Doretta's head is objectively right. There are no situations other than dire emergencies in which a dwarf is not able to return the head. Simultaneously, it is not illegal to abandon Doretta's head. Therefore Doretta's head presents itself as the apex example of whether a dwarf will do what is right without being forced to do it.

      FA🅱️ONIUS WEAPONS (Favonius copypasta)

        I FUCKING 👌👿 LOVE 👨💓 FA🅱️ONIUS WEAPONS I LOVE ENERGY 🔌🔌 RECHARGE AND 👏 ENERGY 🔌 PARTICLES I LOVE PERFECT 💯👌 ROTATIONS FUCK 👊🖕 IRON STING🎈 KAZUHA 🙅 FUCK AQUA SIMULACRA YELAN FUCK 👌 SAC BOW 🏹🏹 DIONA YOU 👋❌ GET 1* 〰💦 IN 🚪 THE ABYSS CHAMBER AND 😍🎅 YOUR BURST ISNT ❌❌ FILLED 🔋😩 UP LOSER IF FA🅱️ONIUS IS NOT BIS 🏆 THEN YOUR CHARACTER IS PISS 💦 I 👱👈 WISH 🌠🌠 I 👁 COULD 💖💖 SHOVE 💏 👏👅 ZHONGLI'S FA🅱️ONIUS LANCE UP MY A...

Mfs be like "why can't I get my burst up with Iron Sting Kazuha😔😔" you have no ER bro🧐You know what would solve that⁉️ FAVONIUS WEAPONS💥💥💥

Problems with Xiangling burst not recharging? The art of FA🅱️ONIUS will guide you to the salvation of 36 stars ⭐⭐ FA🅱️ONIUS Bennett, FA🅱️ONIUS Xingqiu, F🅰️🅱️ONIUS Fischl will guide you through these tough times of no ER👌👌 Huh? Overkill ER you say?🤨 You can never have too much ER🥶 Big PP DMG is temporary 😰 Constant and fluid rotations is ETERNAL🗣️🗣️🗣️F🅰️🅱️ONIUS will save your soul.😇 C2 Zhongli in co-op? Look no further than F🅰️🅱️ONIUS LANCE, keep your local Xiao and Hu Tao from dying today 🙏🙏 Huh? 40 Cost Burst you say? ER NO🅱️LESSE for the MAXIMUM BUFFS🔥🔥 1 hit of a Fa🅱️ GREATSWORD and Chongus will be bursting .1 seconds after cooldown ends👍👍PRAISE ENERGY RECHARGE💯💯💯LOVE AND CHERISH PROPER ROTATIONS🎉

        I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of fav. I try to use crit weapons. Fav is better. I try to use 5* weapons. Fav is better. I try to use other ER weapons. Fav gives more energy. I try not to use Sac. I want to play Iron Sting Kazuha. His best build uses fav. I want to play Yelan, Shenhe. They both want fav. It grabs me by the throat. I farm for it. I pull on the weapon banner for it. I give it crit rate. It isn't satisfied. I pull Elegy. "That's not enough er" It tells me. "Put me on more characters." It grabs all my supports and forces them to throw themselves off enemies. "You just need to give me more crit rate. I can generate energy more reliably at R5." I can't pull on the weapon banner, I don't have enough primogems. It grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." It grabs Barbara. It says "Barbara, excommunicate him from the Church of Favonius." There is no hint of sadness in their eyes. Nothing but pure, clear energy particles. What a cruel world

        March Madness

          Hey 👋 you 👈 sporty 🏓⚽🏀 😛🏀💦 slut 👅 🍑 It’s time 🕒⏰ ⏱ for MARCH 🚶 😤😤👊🏻 MADNESS 😡 🙊🍑💦🏀 Time ⏰ to shoot 💦 🏀👋🏻 some HOOPS 🏀 💦 and be sure 👍 ✅ to stay 💒 HYDRATED 🚰 💦 so you 👈 can get 🉐 🤑 some NBA 💯 DICK 🍆 🍑💦😛🍆 We going 🏃🏽 TO THE WINDOWS 🖼 🖼️ TO THE WALLS 🧱🎶🎵 😤🤚🏻🤚🏻 Till 😅 the SWEAT 💦 💦💦 DRIPS 💦 OFF 📴 HIS 💦 🏀🏀 Send 🔜📨📬 this to your 👉🏠🍕 FINAL 🙏 FOUR 4️⃣ sisters 👱‍♀️ 👭 in sluthood 👊🏻💋👯‍♀️ if you 👈 want 😍 😘 that Michael 🆚 Jordan 🇯🇴 sized ✅ DICK 🍆 😛🍆💦🍑👋🏻 
          HEY FANS 👧 OF 👏💅 HOES 😜 WAAALLLLTS!! It’s MARCH MADNESS TIME 🕖 that 😐🎅 time ⏱ of year 🕶 where 😾 we 👶👩 send ➡ the 😈🌫 hottest 🔥 HOEs 💁👯 to 💦🔜 battle 💥💥 in 👏 the 👏 pussy , ass 😶🔥 , and 👅 mouth 👅 tournament to 😱 see who’s 👏 DADDY is 😗 BADDEST The 💦💉 games 🎮📀 will be HARD and 😁 so 👌 will 🤔⚽ the 🍤 DICKS 🍆😣 . So 💯👏 get your 👉🏾 bracket ready , and ➕😎 prepare for a 👏🚨 dickin down 👸 this ♂ March .

CUMMIE 💦😱 ALERT ❗ ALERT 🔊 ALERT 🔊 CUMMIES 💦 ONNNNNNNE THREE 👨🕛 FIVE 🖐🖐 SEVEN NINE TEN TWENTY 🎊 FIFTY VIOLATE 🏻🏻 THAT ASS AND THROAT 🏾🏾 WITH 💦😣 THAT 😐 HOT DICK 🍆💗 UP 👎👆 IN 🐩 THERE !!! Send this to 🔁😖 of 🍞💦 your 🌈 sluttiest march ‼‼ madness hoes 👩💉 or 🥖 else 👴 you ain't getting 👏 NO balls ⚽💦 in 👏👻 ya mouth
          HEY 👋🚟 YOU 👶 SLUTTY 💦 COLLEGE 🏫👥 BASKETBALL WANNABE PLAYERS, 💰☹ IT’S 👌 MARCH 🦄🌸 MADNESS TIME, AND 💰💦 THAT 🤢 MEANS IT’S 😎😝 TIME 👏 FOR 🍆 THE BIGGEST 🏻 SLUTTY 😘👙 BASKETBALL TOURNAMENT IN 👌 ALL 🗿 OF 💦 DADDY’S 😍 LITTLE PUSSIES, FUCKING 👉🍆 CUMMIES BITCH. 🌑🏻 THIS 👈⁉ YEAR’S 🎆📅 NERDY TEAM 🏃 MIGHT BE TOO MUCH FOR THESE SLUTTY COLLEGE HOE-Z 😟💦 TO 💦👅 DEAL WITH 🎉 SO 💯😐 MAKE SURE YOU 😵🥘 GOOD 👍😂 AND 👏👏 STRETCH THEIR 👏 HOES 😨😂 OUT 🐜 PRETTY 👬🤔 WIDE SO THEY CAN 🔫💏 ONLY 💶 GET 👌☹ IN 🌝 THE 🏻👏 MIDDLE OF THAT 😻 BASKET BALL ⚽ RING 💍💍 , DONT ♂ LET ANYONE ELSE 😯 GET IN 📥 THERE, AND IF 👏 THEY DO ⚠🍆 SOMEONE 👨 NEEDS ⬆ TO ♀🛏 SHOW 📺 THEM HOW TO HIT 👊 THAT 😤👌 BASKET ! DONT 🚫🤚 STOP 🛑🛑 HOOP SHOOPIN UNTIL 😩 DADDYS 🍆💦 LITTLE BASK
          It's 🌲MARCH🌲 1ST BITCHES👄! U KNOW WHAT DAT MEAN👌🏻 ITS THE 💦🎉ANNIVERSARY🎉💦 OF EMPEROR🙏🏻 DIOCLETIAN👨🏾 APPOINTING CONSTANTIUS CHLORUS👨🏻 AND GALERIUS👨🏼 AS CAESARS🍆🍑😫, REPRESENTING DAT SHIFT😂😂 TO THE 🙏🏻MF🙏🏻 ROMAN💯 TETRARCHY👌🏻🍆! 😫👅💦CLICC DAT MF SHIT😂😂👌🏻 IF U WANT SOME 👨🏿BIG👨🏿 ROMAN 🍆DICK🍆 TO CELEBRATE THAT SHIT 🍑FAM😂😂😫😪. THESE FOOLZ👨🏿 BEEN UP TRAPPING🍑👅 REAL MF HOURS SINCE 293😳😳. U BETTER PUT😏 YO 👨🏼MANS DICK🍆 IN YO MOUTH👅 FOR 🔥 DIOCLETIAN 🔥💦😏 AND HIS GIRL👩🏽 WHO HAD THE FATTEST 🙏🏻🍑🍑BOOTY🍑🍑 🙏🏻IN THE WESTERN 🌎🙌🏻WORLD🙌🏻🌚. SHARE THIS 🌭SHIT🌭 WITH THE 💣THICKEST💣 💯CUM💯 💦THIRSTY💦 BITCHES👩🏽👩🏽 U KNOW SO U GET 💯GOOD💯 🍑ASS🍑 DICK🍆 THIS MONTH💣🍆🙏🏻👅🔥🌭🍑💯😂6️⃣9️⃣

          PURIM

            Today ❗❗ is PURIM 🍺🍸🍷 when sexy🫦 QWEEN 👑💅💄 Esther got down 🙇‍♀️ on her knees🧎‍♀️😛 for sugar daddy Achashverosh 🤑🤴 and STOPPED that evil 👿 👺 horny HAMAN 🅱🅾🅾 from killing 🔪 the 🔯🔯 Jews 🔯🔯 so grab 🤝 a drink 🍸 or 5️⃣ 🥂and get LIT 🤪🥴until you 👌👌 CAN’T ❌ tell 👀 the difference between ↔️ GOOD 😇😇 and EVIL 😈 send this to 1️⃣0️⃣ of your friends get 🔟 back and you’re a semitic 🕎✡️ SLUT and will get some Purim 🎭 PUSSY 👅get less 📉🛬 and you’re a haman 👹HOE 
            Today ❗❗ is PURIM 🍺🍸🍷 when beautiful 💖 QWEEN 👑💅💄 Esther stopped evil 👺 daddy haman 🅱🅾🅾 from killing 🔪 the 🔯🔯 Jews 🔯🔯 so grab 👐 a drink 🍸 and get LIT until you 👌👌 can't ❌ tell 👀 the difference between ↔ good 😇😇 and evil 😈 send this to all your friends. get 5 🕔 back and you're a purim pussy get 10 back 👅👅 and you're a semitic slut get 15 🔝📬 and you're a qween hamentaschen ho

            Hello Tanner, Lucas, Graham and Eric

              Hello Tanner, Lucas, Graham and Eric Right now, you boys must have a lot of questions going through your mind: where is this small room we just woke up in, why the floor is so sticky and why does this room smell so sweet and sugary? But before that, I'd like to ask you a simple question: what exactly is supposed to go in a Big Gulp cup? If your answer is a fountain drink from the 7-Eleven self-service area, then you would be correct. In fact, there are several signs next to the Big Gulp cup dispensers that make the expected contents of a Big Gulp crystal clear. However, yesterday afternoon, you boys decided to fill the Big Gulp cup with something other than a carbonated beverage: one Twix, one Baby Ruth, one Toblerone and one Resees Take 5. I know exactly what was inside that Big Gulp cup because after exiting the 7-Eleven, I watched Tanner remove the lid of the Big Gulp and each of you carefully remove your favorite candy bar from the cup one by one. However, the receipt only showed that you purchased one Big Gulp drink. You even went so far as to fill the entire cup with A&W Root Beer to disguise your stolen candy bars from Toby the store clerk with poor vision. Lucas said himself that Tobys poor eye sight means that he wouldn't notice the submerged candy bars in your Big Gulp cup. By now, you are probably noticing that the room you are in resembles a giant Big Gulp cup, and the sticky substance on the floor is A& W Root Beer that is now rapidly filling the room. Soon, you will be submerged just like your Twix, your Baby Ruth, your Toblerone, and your Resees Take 5. And just like those stolen candy bars, you have no choice but to suffocate in the sugary soda. Your only hope is the same store clerk Toby who I have brought here to examine this giant cup and to tell me what he sees. Maybe he sees four helpless boys and there's a chance he might save you, or maybe with his poor eyesight he doesn't see you at all, just how he didn't see the four candy bars you stole right under his nose. How ironic, the same poor vision you were willing to take advantage of will now determine if you live or die. Let the games begin.