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If u suck your own dick while you turn 18, it is considered illegal due to gravitational time dilation?

    NSFW?? Ok hear me out. Due to gravitation time dilation, your upper body is technically older then your lower body due to Gravitational Time Dilation. Gravitational Time Dilation the effect gravity has on time. The lower the gravitational potential, the faster time is. Knowing this, because your dick has more gravitational potential then your head, your head is older then your dick (by like less then a millionth of a nanosecond but that doesn’t matter). So if you were sucking your own dick while you turned 18, your head would age first. This means your 18 year old head would be sucking you 17 year old dick. Thank you for listening to my TED Talk

    Fucking gunshots interrupted my masturbation

      Fucking gunshots interrupted my masturbation.

So there I was. Under my bedsheets comfortable and I had some 3.9 star hentai on and then suddenly, I just hear 6 shots.

Now, at first I just thought they were fireworks because its nearing the fourth of July. So I just kept on wanking but as soon as I was near the end if my session, I hear 3 more REALLY loud shots causing my erection to dissapear.

Now, at this point I was just pissed off because some random guy just happened to launch fireworks mid-nut. So I look out my window and see some dude runnin with a gun in his hand and another man running away from him.

Needless to say, I noped my ass back to bed and am trying to get another erection.

TLDR; Fucking guns ruined my hentai

      The simp sword

        ║\

║▒\

║▒▒\

║░▒║

║░▒║

║░▒║with this blade

║░▒║I cut those who

║░▒║disrespect

║░▒║Pokimane

║░▒║

║░▒║

▓▓▓▓

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        Asking for a friend

          Is there a sexuality for people who’re only attracted to 2d anime girls with fat tiddies? Ever since I’ve been a young lad, I’ve been revolted by the sight of real-life women, but Japanese cartoon characters have really done the trick for me. Every Friday night since 2009 I’ve dressed up in traditional Japanese clothing and swung around a sword for hours, honing my katana skills - preparing for the day that I move to Japan and become Hokage. Am I alone? If not, what’s it officially called? I thought “hentaisexual” might work but that sounds kinda retarded to me the more I think about it.

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            We need a George Floyd Funko POP now

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