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AITA for not telling my wife about all the hitchhikers I killed in the 70s?

    Back when I (68M) was a young and dumb twenty-something, I spent a few carefree years in Southern California raping, torturing, and murdering hitchhikers. I don't want any judgement from SJWs about this, please, if you didn't live in Cali in the 1970s, you wouldn't understand. It was just what we did back in those days. Eventually I grew up, got married, had three beautiful kids, and was content to just get off to my trophies and polaroids, and maybe kill the occasional drifter on special occasions.
    
    The other day, my wife (37F) found the hidden panel in my basement wall where I keep all the old memories, and she went ballistic. I tried to calm her down, explained that, firstly, they were all dudes, so she shouldn't exactly be getting jealous. Second, they're all dead, so it's not like she's going to have to worry about me leaving her for any of them. Third, there were like three or four other guys doing the same thing around then, and they took the credit for most of my kills. I was very careful, covered my tracks, rarely finished inside them. I don't know why she's got her knickers in such a twist.
    
    Quite frankly, I'm feeling really hurt about the whole thing. We've been together for nearly thirty years, and she's thinking about leaving me over something like this? Maybe I should have been more honest, but I was raised to see this as men's business, not something you involve your old lady in.
    
    Am I the asshole?

    I was jealous of Mario and peach

      When I was 9 I was really jealous that Mario got to date Peach so to let my frustration out I turned on Mario Kart 64 and drove Mario off a cliff for 2 hours then went back to writing my fanfiction of me being Peach's bff and bf.

      All Star by Ben Shapiro

        Now, lets say, hypothetically, that somebody once told me that the world would proceed to roll me, and made the claim that I was not, the smartest tool in the shed. Which would lead us to look at the facts and see that she was looking kind of dumb, due to the fact that she had placed her finger and her thumb, in the shape of the letter L, located on her forehead.
        
        This would mean that the years would start coming, and logically wont stop coming, that I was, hypothetically, fed to the rules, which would proceed with me hitting the ground running. Which didn’t make sense, to live for fun, in a way that your brain gets smart, yet your head gets dumb, seeing as there’s so much to do, and so much to see, so now I must pose the question, what is wrong with taking the backseat? This is due to the fact that you’ll never know if you don’t go, nor you will shine if you don’t glow.
        
        For you see, you are, at this moment, an All-Star, so get your game on, and proceed to go play, indeed, you’re an All-Star, get the show on, which would entitled you to get paid. That would mean that all that glitters, is indeed gold, and that only shooting stars, can participate in the process of breaking the mold.

        MY CAT DIED, POKIMANE DIDNT SAY MY NAME AFTER A 1000$ DONATION AND THEN MY FAMILY AND I DIED IN A CAR CRASH, CAN THIS GET 20,000 UPDOOTS AN F AND REDDIT GOLD?

          Sorry for my bad english. Also I’m typing on mobile, if im make any spelling mistakes im sorry.
          
          So i was browsing reddit. i did my daily deed by creating my 420th account to downvote EA’s comment about microtransactions (EPIC). and then i saw a hilarious meme about dying in a car crash on r/dankmemes. i decided to try it out. So me, being the typical redditor decided to take my wife and children with me (SPOILER, THIS WAS A MISTAKE). Not with standing, we were in the car and saw a big truck. Now i’m a fan of big trucks, let me tell you, but the driver was clearly an insta normie. We crashed into the truck going 250 mph. My wife was vaporised immediately. The car flipped 69 times (nice). Cum, everywhere. My cock and balls, tortured. My reddit gold, gone. r/wooosh.  now you might have noticed the truck driver has uploaded this accident on r/watchpeopledie after committing 4 counts of vehicular manslaughter. This guy is a repeat offender when it comes to reposting. I could name several instances in which he reposted in r/blursedimages and r/aww. Typically he reigns in 20% karma gains as compared to the original posts. This is outrageous. But what is more outrageous is this man, this normie decides to repost on to instagram! Unforgivable! Onto his instagram account, i have noticed several posts causing me to believe he is a boomer! Not just this, but a simp! He supports the orange man and kills children! To relieve my stress after this scarring incident, I decided to donate my life savings to pokemane. Now this bitch, didn't even say my name! I cant believe this! And then, to top it all off, after uploading my cat to r/chonkers HE DIES! It was right after his 12th meal of the day, so at least he died happily. Could it be the cat food? Has anyone else experienced this? After my cat dying i asked my crush out and she said no! My wifes boyfriend called me a cuck and insulted my neckbeard. I was sad. I covered my tears with my fedora. “M’lady”, i whispered, “please forgive me, i have failed you”. After this i went onto r/pewdiepiesubmissions to defend a woman being bullied by evil men. They called me a simp, but i knew that i was actually a protector of the female gender from the patriarchy! 
          
          TLDR: Keanu chungus updoot raid reddit gold platinum UWU wholesome what are your greatest cumshots OWO r/whoosh r/pewdiepiesubmissions r/incel r/funny r/AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA r/askreddit r/incel r/funny r/AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA r/askreddit
          
          Edit 1: Thank you for the gold, kind stranger!
          
          Edit 2: WOW! My first platinum? Incredible! 
          
          Edit 3: 69 thousand updoots? We did it reddit!
          
          Edit 4: Keanu would be proud! Thank you!
          
          Edit 5: WOW! 100 thousand upvotes! I came!!!!
          
          Edit 6: Incredible! The amount of upvotes I have is almost as many murders as I have committed in Syria!
          
          Update 1: I am in jail due to my war crimes in Syria. AMA

          Lord Maximus

            Lord Maximus 22 | 5'10" | Pisces | Has cats [76% match]
            
            Lord Maximus at your service m’lady, level 82 DM, feminist, gentleman, sandwich lover, burrito lover, woman lover.
             
            *ahem* Listen Carefully, M'lady, it seems you have stolen something from me,and i am very upset, i will have no choice but to contact the town sheriff to place in the stocks,for thieving, if you do not return my heart to me posthaste, this kind of behaviour will not be tollerated, however, i am willing to overlook this transgression, if tou agree to a date with me, otherwise chareges will be pressed for the stealing of my heart, i await your letter of acceptance *kisses hand and blows* yours truly,lord Maximus