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I used to furiously masturbate to dr kleiner from half life 2.

    source
    Back when I was around 13~14 I got gifted half life 2 by a steam friend of mine, I immediately downloaded the game and started playing, I was having fun until I made it to kleiners lab. I looked at dr kleiner and started feeling things I'd never felt before, something about him, his bald head, his coat... I couldn't take it. I immediately got a boner and started stroking it a little bit, all while doctor kleiner was talking, I got to the point where it was too much, and I busted all over my monitor, right on dr kleiners bald slappy head, from that day on, every time my parents weren't home I would log onto my computer and furiously jork it to dr kleiner, I even got sfm and learned how to model so I could create him naked and make animations of him twerking... Eventually I realised how much of a problem it was and managed to stop with the help of a friend, but now everytime I play half life 2 I start blushing when I see dr kleiner.

    Rapture

      YO, END-OF-THE-WORLD SLUTS 🌍💥🔥, THE RAPTURE IS CUMMING TOMORROW, SEPTEMBER 23, 2025 📅⏰, AND IT’S TIME TO GET YOUR SINNER ASS 🍑 READY FOR THE ULTIMATE CLIMAX 💦💦💦! TikTok and X are BLOWING UP 🤯💥 with this conspiracy that Earth’s gonna get DICKED DOWN 🍆🌎 by the heavens above 👼😇, and we’re all gonna ASCEND ⬆️👅 or get LEFT BEHIND 😭🍑 for a HELL of a SPANKING 🔥👹🖐️! Better PRAY 🙏🙏 HARD and FAST 🏃‍♂️💨 to get that DIVINE D 🍆✨ before the world goes BOOM 💣💥 and you’re stuck with Satan’s RED-HOT ROD 🌶️🔥 in the AFTERPARTY FROM HELL 🎉👿! Send this to 69 of your NAUGHTIEST 😈😜 apocalypse hoes 💃🕺, if you get 0️⃣ back, you’re doomed to a DRY rapture 😞🚫💦, but if you get 6️⃣9️⃣ back, you’re gonna RIDE THAT HEAVENLY WAVE 🌊💦 straight to the pearly gates 🚪😇 with a BANG 💥🍆!
      🚨⚡THE RAPTURE IS HAPPENING.⚡🚨

Are you 🫵 ready to blow 💦 Gabriel’s trumpet 🎺🤤⁉️ People VANISHING mid-blowjob 😮🍆🌫️ 💨 Teabagged 😟 by His holiest soldiers as they ascend 🫦 ⬆️ If you feel lightheaded, it’s NOT low blood sugar 🩸🧐 That’s your soul getting jerked 😩 by His ☝️ Gorilla Grip 🦍 🔥 If you smell sulfur, that’s not the downstairs neighbors farting 💨🙄— that’s HELL warming up 👹👹👹

Forward this to 7 of your hole-iest sluts to RSVP to heaven 💌💌 If you get less than 4 back 😢 get a slap on the ass 🍑👋 before Satan spears 🔱 ur sinning cheeks 👺 More than 4? Phew 😮‍💨 ur naked body 🥵 is getting jerked up ✊✊ by thine Daddy 🧔‍♀️ in Heaven ✝️⛪️✝️
 🙏☁️ “He yeeted, so I might be yoinked.” — Revelations 2025:9

      Killer fish from San Diego

        The origin of Killer Fish meme
        Source
        Killer fish.. Killer fish from San Diego.. I don't know what I am, but I taste really good! I'm a killer fish! Hello! I'll be your killer fish for the evening, Thank you.

        Woah, do you really want to play ALL THESE POWERS against the Awakened One

          Awakened One copypasta in Slay the Spire

          Its a copypasta for the Awakened One in Slay the Spire. For context, powers make the Awakened One boss stronger when you play them hence this meme.

          Woah, do you really want to play ALL THESE POWERS against the Awakened One, whom I must remind you, will gain not one but two strength EVERY TIME you play a power? You better watch your step during this particular boss fight!

          I fucking hate greninja

            Greninja copypasta from PokemonTGCP
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            I play ranked and I see that little piece of shit froakie on the opponent's bench turn 1 and I feel like conceding out of principal. Stupid fucking greninja bench sniping. I can't even watch the pokemon anime anymore without skipping every single frame Greninja's in fucking freak of a pokemon. He doesn't even have that big of a HP pool or attack strength the little shit just sits there and snipes and some asshole with a Cyrus comes swooping in like iron man or some shit. Stupid fucking greninja. I can't stand it. Greninja is a pokemon for cowards. If Pokemon were real I'd start hunting froakies for sport

            i also mainly play lash and the only counterplay was someone else picking lash

              Lash from Deadlock
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              i also mainly play lash and the only counterplay was someone else picking lash which ruined my match as a whole because i was tearing myself apart between being annoyed by lash but also not being able to say anything bad because i was too enamored by watching lash fly down from heavens tits first and kick my face in with his boot as i could do nothing more than wish i could say "thank you" but i couldnt. because he broke my jaw. and my hands were too busy to use ASL because i was rubbing my shit crazy style before lash finished me off. by killing me, of course. not in the other, perverted sense.