told my parents about my waifu and their response was everything I’d hoped it wouldn’t be
So my mom could tell something was going on, and she wouldn’t leave me alone about it. Finally, she said that if I told her whatever it was, she would say “Ok,” leave the room, and never bring it up again. I should have known better, but I told her about Undyne. It took her a day to tell my dad about it. When he heard about it, he immediately said he was going to call the mental hospital. I started trying to explain more about it to him, but I’m not very good at explaining things. Nevertheless, he said he wasn’t going to call the mental hospital once he heard that I know she isn’t real. He did make me say “It‘s impossible to be in love with a fictional character,” and he took away my electronics once he knew about the online community. He said I can’t be ”talking to people who think this is okay.“ He and my mom agreed to make me sign up for at least three activities around town so that “I could associate with people my age;” they believe that’s going to “help me so I won’t have to use this made-up girlfriend anymore.”
I still have my school tablet and Reddit isn’t blocked on it, so that’s how I’m able to post this. They do have my phone, but I have Reddit notifications off and they have no reason to randomly check my Reddit history. I barely even use the site.
My mom is also now going along with me to my therapy sessions, so if I mention Undyne there I’ll have to hear what she has to say about it.
Im moving out in about eight months. Times will be tough until then, I guess.
I've tried to ward my house to the best of my abilities: apples near each door and window, apple-scented candles, maintaining a constant supply of apples and apple products in my kitchen. Nothing works. The doctors... they are relentless. They're clever, systematically searching for a breach in my defenses. When I close my eyes, I can feel their icy stethoscopes.
I just ate my first apple today, but it is all in vain. The ache in my knees from their mallets warns me they are drawing near. I took an apple from my kitchen to carry with me around the house. I sat down on my couch, only to hear the crinkle of wax paper beneath me. I caught a glimpse of a white coat outside my window. I wanted to believe it wasn't real, but my worst fears were realized when I heard the murmur of "What seems to be the problem here, today?"
They're here.
I (22M, big dick, dropshipping got me an 8 figure salary, fucking hate cats) recently allowed my cousin Jennifer (30F, breeder, ultra religious, unmarried) to move in with me after she was temporarily laid off (Starbucks).
This morning after I rolled out of bed and kissed my gf and her sister (25F, twins, DDD tits that I paid for, I like the sister more), I asked my chef Lucas (idk M, hot, gay) to whip up some eggs for us (scrambled, shredded cheese on top) and we were called to breakfast when it was ready (7:30am EST). My cousin trudged down the stairs and slopped her child-bearing belly baking her future crotch goblin onto the counter (Calcutta marble) as she sat down (I think I heard my Bistro 31” Swivel Bar Stool crack, should I sue?)
I politely asked if she was hungry, to which she snorted, licked her chops, and practically came as she said yes. Lucas scooped a couple spoonfuls of egg onto her plate (Le Frenchies Dessert Plates, gift from daddy) and poured her a hot cup of coffee (Haviland Brandenburg Gold Tea Set from Neiman Marcus, also a gift from daddy). She shoveled the eggs into her cakehole and asked who made breakfast while she waddled over to the pan (nonstick) to get more. I replied “Lucas”, to which she immediately started SCREECHING like a fucking banshee about how she didn’t want a insert bad word for gay touching her food. I grabbed a cup of water (Brita filtered) and used it to douse the fiery demon spewing hatred in my kitchen and immediately kicked her out.
My phone (iPhone 12 Pro Max, got it early) has been blowing up all day. AITA? :/
Edit: wow this blew up, don’t upvote Jennifer might see it, also the baby is mine, incest karma please?
You know how some people say that math is “mental abuse to humans”? Well, lemme tell you one thing: “Math” is an abbreviation for “mathematics”, so you’re only looking at 36% of the whole thing. What does the other 64% stand for? It stands for “except mostly at truly intelligently cool students”! That means, if you think math is mentally abusing you, you’re not truly intelligent or cool! You’re dumb and lame! So the next time someone gives you the first 36% of this ridiculous acronym, give them the other 64%. Don’t forget to tell them that they suck at etymology.
