As I exited my vehicle to walk into work I caught scent of a female in heat 73.35 meters upwind. Because of the fog I couldn’t see her yet but judging by the scent she was mid twenties, and healthy. My ultra attunated hearing was able to pick up her gait, which put her at about 5’6”. My mind, free of the constraints of porn and indecent imagery, was able to calculate her weight based on the ripple in the testosterone continuum produced by her footsteps as she walked away from me.
Being that I was 10 minutes early for work, I made chase and followed her through the fog still without visual contact. I was like a pilot navigating the white abyss by instrument alone. I was trailing her about 130m behind when I sensed her phone vibrate in her purse through the pavement. Holding my ear to the ground I was able to faintly pick up on the conversation she was having with beta BF. Based on the annoyed tone in her voice I knew now was the time to strike.
I readied my legs and concentrated all of my Testo-chakras into my Vastus Medialus muscles as I assumed a sprinters starting stance. I exploded forward in a cataclysm of sex hormone fueled rage. Exactly 2.54 nanoseconds later I began to phase through time and space as I meshed with the testosterone continuum. As I phased through the helpless female target I nutted directly into both of her Fallopian tubes, destroying her previously unbroken hymen and causing her to orgasm INSTANTLY. As I began to slow down 33.6 light years later, I realized that while she would have wanted to thank me for giving her the gift of my superior seed that she was already dead and gone having raised my CHAD progeny to repopulate the earth.
As I float into the the celestial abyss of the greater Crab Nebula I am not filled with regret for having left my world, but rather happiness for having left it a better place. You're welcome.
Shut the fuck up you absolute lobotomite. You think adding your poorly edited Skyrim makes this funny? What a joke. Get a grip on reality, stop saying "oof" during a serious conversation just because your two braincells cant ever send signals to eachother to form a response. Honestly pathetic. Oh guys look at me Im so funny OOF 100! Its so funny and quirky because its a roblox noise right guys? Hahah skyrim reference!! Shut the fuck up you absolute fucking dusty toilet. I would flush you down the drain in an instant.
Hey buddy, I heard you talking crap about my homie MiHoYo.
If you think this is funny, it's not. This is how the game should be designed.
These people are speed running the game with their quick progressions. It's no wonder they're complaining about everything. QUICK REMINDER, it's just a FREE gacha game. Free means no complaints, not even constructive criticism or feedback. MiHoYo is already generous enough to provide 53 EXP per kill instead of ZERO EXP. You will level after only 3,397 ruin guard kills.
Don't get me started with the mora too. If each of those ruin guards give 200 mora each (generously-speaking), by the time you level up from killing 3,397 ruin guards you would have already accumulated 679,245 mora. That's enough for talent rank ups from Lvl 6 --> Lvl 8, almost TWICE.
One big complaint, that I see way too often, is the resin system. Suppose it takes you 15 seconds to kill a ruin guard, or 30 seconds because you hit like a wet noodle. After killing the ruin guard, you spend 25-26 minutes creating a post (all lies btw) trying to expose the flaws of this game on the subreddit, which I will argue against you until the end of time kiddo. The cycle continues indefinitely. Based on my calculations: 30 seconds to kill one ruin guard multiplied by an average of 25.5 minutes of blatant lies from your post, multiplied AGAIN by 3,397 ruin guards is 155,922,300 seconds. That's 2,598,705 minutes. Plus, that was already assuming you had access to killing them back-to-back. This will hinder us casual players, so I'm glad everything is time-gated. Anyway, resin recharges 1 per 8 minutes, that means by the time you kill all 3,397 ruin guards you will obtain AT LEAST:
- 1 level
- 697,245 mora (given that ruin guards give 200 mora each)
- 324,838 RESIN
That's enough resin to last you your entire bloodline.
I for one am enjoying the game so much. I've been collecting common, exquisite, and precious garbage every time I venture the barren wasteland. I'm already AR60 and I haven't even began the Mondstadt story quest line yet. This is coming from a guy who has 15 years of gacha experience (e.g. Candy Crush, Minesweepers, and Ninja Turtles).
No, it's not gay to draw girls with dicks. In fact, it is the only proper way to draw girls. Let me explain. In medieval heraldic tradition, to draw an animal without a penis, or "pizzle" as they called them, was considered a great offense. A large, erect penis symbolized strength and valor. The larger the penis, the more honorable the animal. In fact, in 1579, when a depiction of the coat of arms of Appenzell was printed in Saint Gallen with the bear on the arms missing the pizzle, Appenzell almost declared war. In more recent times, when the Swedish Nordic Battlegroup removed the pizzle from their lion to not offend people, the herald who designed the original coat of arms was greatly insulted. He said that the army didn't understand heraldry, and that coats of arms with lions without penises were historically given to people who betrayed the Swedish Crown. This is why I draw girls with dicks. It's not a fetish, it's because I respect women and don't want to depict them as traitors or cowards. When you think about it, if you ever draw a girl without a large, erect penis, you are actually making subtle misogynistic implications.
FATHER 👨👴 I 👥 CANNOT 🚫 CLICK 👁 THE BOOK 📖 I 👁 CAN'T ❌💨 CLICK 👅 THE BOOK 📖, FATHER 👨 DAD 👨 DAD 👨🏻 THIS BOOK 📙📚 IS ANCIENT 🗿🎼 TECHNOLOGY 💡 THAT IS BEYOND 👉 MY MIND 🧠😤, AS I 👁 HAVE BEEN TAINTED 😷 BY TOUCHPAD TECHNOLOGY 💡 FATHER 👨 THE BOOK 📕📚 IS ANALOG AND THE DEVICES 📱 I 👁 AM ACCUSTOMED TO OPERATING 🤖 ARE DIGITAL 🔢 AND THUS 😂 CLICKING THE BOOK 📖 YIELDS ⚠ UNSATISFACTORY 😢 RESULTS 💹 WHEN 🍑 COMPARED 😡✊🔏 TO THE DIGITAL 🚫 DEVICES 📱 THAT HAVE BECOME 😌 COMMONPLACR AFTER 👀 THE TURN 🔄 OF THE CENTURY 👴 FATHER 👨 PLEASE 🙏🏾 INSTRUCT ⚠ ME ON 🔛 HOW TO OPERATE 🔪⚔ THE BOOK 👈🤡📖 WITH YOUR 👉 SUPERIOR 🎰 MIND 🧠 YOU 👈 WERE BORN 👶 IN THE LATE 💤 1970S 👩🎤 AND THUS 😂 YOUR 👉 REALM 👽 OF KNOWLEDGE 📃📚📔 WOULD MOST LIKELY 😠 ENCOMPASS 🎯 THE HANDLING 😲 AND OPERATION 🔪⚔ OF THIS ANCIENT 📜 TOME 😐 FATHER 📅👨🏼 I 👁 CANNOT 🚫 CLICK 💜 THE BOOK 📖
Steps up to mic, straightens tie, clears throat, taps mic. "This thing on?" Murmurs of assent. Clears throat again. "Minecraft good." The crowd excitedly begins to talk amongst themselves, many holding bated breath. "Fortnite..." A hush falls over the crowd, rapt attention held. "Bad." Suddenly, the crowd goes wild, screaming their praise, running over each other to hug a loved one. Whistles of elation are heard and many are seen sobbing. World peace is enacted in acknowledgement to this monumental speech that knit the world together.
