Penis size should be a volumetric measurement
Let me explain, Western culture has popularised the outdated unit of inches as the common benchmark for comparing penis size. However, it’s 2021 now, we are advancing towards being a multi planetary species; a single axis measurement for a 3D object all of us possess is medieval, and simply not fit for current use.
I suggest a new unit; millimeters - however if this becomes commonly adopted I wish to be credited, please state the unit of penis size as Venus penis points as I am certain I am the first individual to suggest this.
The new methodology of measuring penis should be as followed;
1. The penis is inserted into a measuring cup until it cannot be inserted further.
2. The volume of liquid displaced should equal penis volume.
3. Complete the conversion; 1ml of displaced penis water = 1 Venus penis point.
Please, help me abolish this out dated system - it wrongly paints a world of penis size based on length; perhaps residents of higher than average African nations have gained an unfair advantage over our Asian brothers; we are using a RACIST system based on length not volume to discriminate penises worldwide.
🚨Attention🚨ALL FORTNITE GAMERS 🎮🎮🎮, John Wick is in great danger🆘, and he needs YOUR help to wipe out 💀 all the squads in THe tilted towers 🏢🏢🏢. To do this, he needs a gold SCAR 🔫 and a couple of chug-jugs🍺🍺. To help him, all he needs is your credit card number 💳 , and the three numbers on the back 3️⃣ and the expiration month and date 📅. But you gotta be quick ⚡so that John can secure the bag 💰, and achieve the epic victory R O Y AL
Attention all Fortnite gamers: John Wick is in great danger and he needs your help to wipe out the squads in the Tilted Towers, but to do this he needs a golden scar and a couple of chug jugs. To help him, all he needs is your credit card number, the three digits on the back, and the expiration month and year. But, you gotta be quick, so John Wick can secure the bag and achieve the epic Victory Royal!
Listen you hairy gay lesbain man lover blanket rubbish bin man i could beet you in fortnitee for $7000 because i have aimbot $5000 computer i bet u don't have anyone take care you or love you. I bet you fat gay mum collects rubbish and eats it! I will end you and throw you out of my window in a 1v4 i will find your ugly lesbain dad and clap him with a hand and my $700 renegaide raider aimbot account level 10000 i bet you are a chav roadman that only plays this gaynite game and doesnt go school. I bet you don't even see big girls with no clothes on lol lamo. I'll laugh wehn you are homeless on the street begging for v bucks for renegaide raider.
Holy shit. My mom came into my room to bring me a plate of chicken nuggets and I literally screamed at her and hit the plate of chicken nuggets out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my mom but I'm literally in shock from the results tonight. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want a future to believe in. I want Bernie to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in New York???? This is so fucked.
What the darn-diddily-doodily did you just say about me, you little witcharooney? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at Springfield Bible College, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret mission trips in Capital City, and I have over 300 confirmed baptisms. I am trained in the Old Testament and I’m the top converter in the entire church mission group. You are nothing to me but just another heathen. I will cast your sins out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in Heaven, mark my diddily-iddilly words. You think you can get away with saying that blasphemy to me over the Internet? Think again, friendarino. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of evangelists across Springfield and your IP is being traced by God right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggorino. The storm that wipes out the diddily little thing you call your life of sin. You’re going to Church, kiddily-widdily. Jesus can be anywhere, anytime, and he can turn you to the Gospel in over infinity ways, and that’s just with his bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in preaching to nonbelievers, but I have access to the entire dang- diddily Bible collection of the Springfield Bible College and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your sins away off the face of the continent, you diddily-doo satan-worshipper. If only you could have known what holy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you from the Heavens, maybe you would have held your darn-diddily-fundgearoo tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re clean of all your sins, you widdillo-skiddily neighborino. I will sing hymns of praise all over you and you will drown in the love of Christ. You’re farn-foodily- flank-fiddily reborn, kiddo-diddily.
A tear of joy streams down my cheek, snapping me out of the beautiful and peaceful illusion the glowing screen had created in the middle of the quiet night, where only cars on the highway can be heard. I gaze out the window with a blank and disappointed face, as I mutter "Yeah, thats not me." The stars glimmer quietly in the night sky like diamonds calling out to you to reach them. I turn my wet face back to the screen to make yet another pointless comment on another pointless post. My hand becomes numb and realize what I truly desire in life, something I can only hope to harbor in front of my eyes...