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Navy seal copypasta (Original)

    The original Navy Seal copypasta
    What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

    MERRY🎅COCKMAS🍆

      Entire Christmas copypasta

      MERRY🎅COCKMAS🍆🍆🍆🍆😜😜😜🐓🐓🐓🐓 AND HAPPY 😁 HOE-LIDAYS 😲😲😲😩😩😩 THIS YEAR 📆 I'M DEFINITELY ✅ ON THE 😈😈😈NAUGHTY😈😈😈LIST📜📝 BECAUSE I'M 👈A GIGANTIC 🏳‍🌈🌈🏳‍🌈🌈🏳‍🌈🌈🏳‍🌈🌈🎄❄HO-HO-HOMOSEXUAL❄🎄🏳‍🌈🌈🏳‍🌈🌈🏳‍🌈🌈🏳‍🌈🌈 WHICH IS NOT 🙅‍♀️❌ VERY CHRISTIAN ⛪🙏 BUT I STILL CAN APPRECIATE 😜 SAINT DICK ✨🎉✨🎉 I CAN'T WAIT FOR 🎅SANTA🎅 TO SLIDE DOWN MY CHIMNEY ⬇🏠😜💦 AND STUFF MY STOCKING 🧦🎁😜 FULL OF DILDOS 😱🍆 AND PENIS PARAPHERNALIA 🍆🍆🍆🍆💦💦💦 BECAUSE I'M JUST A LITTLE 🤏 FESTIVE 🎄🎅🤶⛄❄🎁FAGOT*🏳‍🌈🌈🏳‍🌈🌈🍆🍆😜😜😩😩😩💦💦💦
      
      SO TO ALL MY 💋👄💋👄💋SLUTTY 😩😩😩💋💋💋 SANTA'S 🎅🎅🏿🎅🏽🎅🏻 LITTLE HELPERS 😉😉😉👏👏& HORNY 😩😈 CHRISTMAS ELVES 🧝🏻‍♂️🧝🏻‍♂️🧝🏻‍♂️ REMEMBER LET IT "SNOW" 🌨🌨🌨❄❄❄❄⛄⛄⛄😜😜😜😜😜💦💦💦💦 AND DON'T FORGET TO 🌟✨🌟✨DECORATE✨🌟✨🌟 YOUR "TREE" 😜😜😜🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆 I'LL BE WAITING 🕚🕕🕠 UNDER THE MISTLETOE 🍃🦶 WRAPPED UP IN RIBBON 😳🎁🎀💝 WAITING ⏱ FOR YOU 👆TO UNWRAP 😳🎀 ME SO WE CAN TASTE 👅💦 EACHOTHER'S CANDY CANES 🍬✨🍬✨🍬✨😩😩😩🍆🍆🍆💦💦💦

      Katanas are Underpowered in D20

        Katanas are underpowered in D20
        That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Bastard Sword" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.
        
        I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.
        
        Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.
        
        Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.
        
        Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.
        
        So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:
        
        (One-Handed Exotic Weapon)
        1d12 Damage
        19-20 x4 Crit
        +2 to hit and damage
        Counts as Masterwork
        
        (Two-Handed Exotic Weapon)
        2d10 Damage
        17-20 x4 Crit
        +5 to hit and damage
        Counts as Masterwork
        
        Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Katanas in real life, don't you think?
        
        tl;dr = Katanas need to do more damage in d20, see my new stat block.

        Lao Gan Ma

          Please help me, I am being held in a Chinese enternment camp. They force me to kill my family, I am being tortured daily, I don't know if I'll make it out alive... The only food I can eat is Lao Gan ma. "What the hell is Lao Gan ma?" that's what I asked them. They told me it's just chilly sauce. I sneak around to the back of the factory. As it turns out Lao Gan Ma is made from the flesh of my dead family. So I've been eating my wife and kid this whole time... they're gonna feed me more of this shit....
          Nǐ hǎo, wēi bó! Wǒ mùqián zhèngzài pāishè diànyǐng, xiànzài zhèngzài xiūxí hé yòngcān. Wǒ bùnéng zài pāishè guòchéng zhōng shǐyòng shǒujī, suǒyǐ wǒ xiànzài zhèngzài pāishè zhège (shìpín), yīnwèi tāmen gěile wǒ lǎo gàn mā.” Tā shuō. “Wǒ duì lǎo gàn mā bù shúxī, dàn zhōngguó rén shuō zhè shì yī zhǒng jí hǎo de làjiāo jiàng. Yīncǐ, xiànzài wǒ měitiān zài huāyēcài shàng shǐyòng lǎo gàn mā. Wǒ yòngle hěnduō lǎo gàn mā. Zhè bùshì guǎnggào. Wǒ yǔ lǎo gàn mā méiyǒu rènhé guānxì.
          拍摄期间我无法使用手机,但现在可以了,因为他们给了我这个手机。 我对Lao Gan Ma一无所知,但是中国人说这是一种非常好的 the chilli sauce,所以现在我每天都在西兰花上放一些Lao Gan Ma。 我使用了很多Lao Gan Ma,但这不是广告,Lao Gan Ma从来没有要求我为他们做任何广告。 但是我认为很多人都开始吃这种东西。 我的意思是拥抱中国文化,因为许多中国人认为这是他们文化的一部分。 现在我只吃很多Lao Gan Ma和西兰花,这真的非常好,我喜欢。

          I wish slavery never happened

            I wish slavery never happened
            I wish slavery never happened because then there wouldn't be any black people in north america. (If you object to this you are defending slavery, if you do not you agree with a racist)

            Waluigi

              Waluigi copypasta
              Waluigi is the ultimate example of the individual shaped by the signifier. Waluigi is a man seen only in mirror images; lost in a hall of mirrors he is a reflection of a reflection of a reflection. You start with Mario – the wholesome all Italian plumbing superman, you reflect him to create Luigi – the same thing but slightly less. You invert Mario to create Wario – Mario turned septic and libertarian – then you reflect the inversion in the reflection: you create a being who can only exist in reference to others. Waluigi is the true nowhere man, without the other characters he reflects, inverts and parodies he has no reason to exist. Waluigi’s identity only comes from what and who he isn’t – without a wider frame of reference he is nothing. He is not his own man. In a world where our identities are shaped by our warped relationships to brands and commerce we are all Waluigi.