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Lao Gan Ma

    Please help me, I am being held in a Chinese enternment camp. They force me to kill my family, I am being tortured daily, I don't know if I'll make it out alive... The only food I can eat is Lao Gan ma. "What the hell is Lao Gan ma?" that's what I asked them. They told me it's just chilly sauce. I sneak around to the back of the factory. As it turns out Lao Gan Ma is made from the flesh of my dead family. So I've been eating my wife and kid this whole time... they're gonna feed me more of this shit....
    Nǐ hǎo, wēi bó! Wǒ mùqián zhèngzài pāishè diànyǐng, xiànzài zhèngzài xiūxí hé yòngcān. Wǒ bùnéng zài pāishè guòchéng zhōng shǐyòng shǒujī, suǒyǐ wǒ xiànzài zhèngzài pāishè zhège (shìpín), yīnwèi tāmen gěile wǒ lǎo gàn mā.” Tā shuō. “Wǒ duì lǎo gàn mā bù shúxī, dàn zhōngguó rén shuō zhè shì yī zhǒng jí hǎo de làjiāo jiàng. Yīncǐ, xiànzài wǒ měitiān zài huāyēcài shàng shǐyòng lǎo gàn mā. Wǒ yòngle hěnduō lǎo gàn mā. Zhè bùshì guǎnggào. Wǒ yǔ lǎo gàn mā méiyǒu rènhé guānxì.
    拍摄期间我无法使用手机,但现在可以了,因为他们给了我这个手机。 我对Lao Gan Ma一无所知,但是中国人说这是一种非常好的 the chilli sauce,所以现在我每天都在西兰花上放一些Lao Gan Ma。 我使用了很多Lao Gan Ma,但这不是广告,Lao Gan Ma从来没有要求我为他们做任何广告。 但是我认为很多人都开始吃这种东西。 我的意思是拥抱中国文化,因为许多中国人认为这是他们文化的一部分。 现在我只吃很多Lao Gan Ma和西兰花,这真的非常好,我喜欢。